Friday, September 3, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Meet the World’s Best Dancer for Cancer

Posted: 03 Sep 2010 09:02 AM PDT

We’ve found the best dancer in the world! And imagine? He lives in Canby, Oregon. The best dancer in the world was spotted iat a local Oregonian tradition, “The Pink Glove Dance,” which helps raise money for free mammograms.

And no one — we mean NO ONE — is more psyched about raising breast cancer awareness than the man spotted at 1:56. He is either the worst or unbelievably most amazing dancer we have ever seen. We will think of him every time our own breasts are being pancaked betwixt the ice cold mechanical arms of a life saving scientific miracle.

J-Woww Spotted at Family Reunion

Posted: 03 Sep 2010 08:30 AM PDT

So many things come to mind when one sees Jersey Shore’s Jenni “JWoww” Farley taking out the trash at a random Jersey dumpster.

Like, is she disposing a body? Is she disposing Sammi‘s body? Is she throwing out Angelina‘s things? Or Angelina’s body? And why throw them away? Those look like perfectly good breast implants.

In other news, I am terrified of this woman and will most certainly be dead by sundown. MTV and Bravo need to curate some sort of Flintstones Meets the Jetsons-esque scenario where J-Woww and Teresa Guidice from The Real Housewives of New Jersey and call it Jersey Cagematch: Bitch Gonna Die. Aaaaand I just made a billion dollars.Jersey

[Photo: Splash News Online]

7 Things We Love About Celine Dion’s “7 Jours” Cover

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 02:47 PM PDT

Celine Dion and her family posed for the cover of Canada’s famous weekly magazine 7 Jours. I love it. In fact, this might be my favorite Celine Dion Joint since her epic Larry King appearance a few years ago. What do we love about it? Here are 7 things:

1. Celine Dion is a goddess — this I believe we can all agree on — and as yet more proof, she sat for a magazine cover photo with no makeup on. And given that she is 11 months pregnant, we think she looks pretty beautiful. You know… for her. (Ed. Note: She was given her vocal chords by the same person that molded Mozart’s brain, so who gives a sh*t what she looks like? Annnyway…)

2. Ah!! Is that her son, Rene-Charles??? He’s such a little man now!! Though we do miss his luscious locks (which could have easily been turned into a wig for her bald husband, Also Rene):

3. …And then he could keep it knot-free using a “Comblée,” which we will forever assume is French for “comb” without Googling.

4. Why hello there, Guillaume Lemay-Thivierge. Cool leather necklace! Wait, is Thivierge the French word for “anonymous sex”? Because, in that case, I would probably Thivierge him.

DOG FACE CLOSE-UP AHEAD.

5. Even 13 years after her death, Canadians are still trying to figure out if Princess Diana was assassinated or not. Next week:

6. SO PREGGERS! Another Little Dion in this world is more than OK with us. We want her to have a litter of children, as the odds of one of them being a MANIACAL MUSICAL GENIUS would greatly increase.

7. DOG FACE. This is our favorite thing about the cover, actually. Close up!

Celebrate 90210 Day With The Good Folks From Gossip Girl

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 01:45 PM PDT

You know how we all love dates? Not awkward romantic dates, but calendar dates wherein the actual numbers are signifcant? Like, remember when it was 12:34 and 56 seconds on July 8, 2009? That was something, right? Or maybe it wasn’t.  It’s stupid either way. A bit more interesting was the Back To The Future date hoax. Basically, we love when dates are something to be noted. Because what the eff else would we Twitter about? Today is no exception. It’s probably the most notable date…of note in a while. Because it’s everyone’s favorite 90′s teen soap opera day: 9/02/10. In honor of this day and those who begat him, Josh Schwartz twittered this:

Cute. Hey, do you ever just wonder what Ian Ziering is doing right now??

Via NY Mag

MAD MEN SPOILERS: Don Draper Learns CPR

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 01:23 PM PDT

Splash News Online has some sneaky photos of some of our most beloved Mad Men cast members shooting an upcoming episode of the series.

Because we are ladies like that, we won’t give away any spoilers before the jump. Although, to be fair, there really aren’t ANY spoilers… just things… that are strange… and make very little sense.

OK! First up, we’ve got Hamm being dressed by a Cesar Milan lookalike:

I think we can all agree Miss Blankenship did it better:

PS Wait, did Cesar Millan join the cast? I smell Sal love interest!

So what can we figure out from these photos? Well 1:

Sally and Bobby go to the pool wearing full knit jumpers. Sticking their hands in the pool is the most childlike happiness they’ve experienced in the past three years.

2: The pretty secretary with the teeth, Maggie Siff, is there. And we think she may have had Don’s illegitimate baby? (Update: A commenter writes that this is not, in fact, Maggie Siff — who was actually Rachel Menkin. We still, however, think it’s weird-toothed secretary… The jury is out.)

Maggie, SUPPORT THE HEAD!

But, in all seriousness, why is she there? Is she Don’s new girlf? CAN THIS MAN NOT NOT PUT HIS PENIS INTO SOMETHING?

Of course not, can you blame him? LOOK. AT. HIM.

Leave your best guesses as to what’s happening in the comments. Are the in California for you know who’s secret cancer funeral? We hope not.

Lady Gaga Models Derelicte On The Cover of V Magazine

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 12:01 PM PDT

Zoolander jokes, am I right? But seriously. In the film Zoolander the fashion line Derelicte, as conceived of by Will Ferrell’s Mugatu, is homeless person style. And, behold: A homeless Gaga. If homeless people sculpted their hair into Statue of Liberty points, burned paper, had shopping carts and collected Marc Jacobs’-yep. That’s basically the perfect description of a homeless person in NYC. Check, check, check, check. The fashion industry, as ever, is a parody of itself. Congrats!

Check out ONTD for other versions of the cover

Ferrari Supercars 2 Fast 2 Explode-y

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 09:54 AM PDT

Well aren’t I glad I dragged myself into the office today after about seventeen weeks of working from home. (Thank you Dan Hopper for leaving so that I may sit at your desk, go through your things, rearrange your computer files, frame you for international espionage). Otherwise, I would have never ridden the elevator and caught the elevator news. We have elevator news here at Viacom. It’s pretty 21st century. And on the elevator news it said that Ferrari has recalled the 458 Italia model SUPERCAR because they’ve been EXPLODING. That is so effing metal! I bet it’s not a design flaw, it’s just that there’s a self-destruct button built in and all the people who drive the SUPERCARS realize that they’d rather die with their secrets than be caught by Interpol. I assume all these explosions took place while speeding through the Swiss Alps en route to Monte Carlo (does one get to Monte Carlo via the Swiss Alps?). I really hope Paul Walker wasn’t hurt. What’s that? You want to watch Paul Walker’s blooper reel from Fast & Furious? Me too!

Wow, I really hope you didn’t watch all of that. I’m sorry, I owe you a coke.

OH HAPPY GAY: Tom Hardy Workout Vid

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 01:18 PM PDT

Do you know or are you yourself a gay man? First of all, hellewwww, we’d be like BFF. Second of all, put everything down, shut off all of your electronic appliances (except for your comp), draw the blinds, and LISTEN. Because we have actual video footage of Inception star and possible bi-ess-you-al (bisexual) Tom Hardy working out with his trainer.

This video includes classic exercises such as “Running on the Ground with Paper Towel Shoes,” “Skull Push-Ups,” and “Ass Extendos.” Rarely can a video simultaneously turn you on while also making you feel like the laziest piece of sh*t that’s ever lived.

Thank you ONTD!
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