Cele|bitchy |
- Hot Guy Friday: Sometimes you just need to ache for it
- Michelle Duggar wants another child and will die for it ‘if that’s what God wants’
- Liam Neeson, 58, has a new, young, 36-year-old blonde girlfriend
- Jessica Simpson is the guest judge on the finale of Project Runway
- How “intense” is the sex between Halle Berry & Olivier Martinez?
- Chris Klein is basically just around so we can kick him, repeatedly
- Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to “act” trashy, drunk & Southern in her new film
- In Touch: Sheryl Crow used to date Aniston’s new hookup, Josh Hopkins
- Robert Pattinson is jealous of Kristen Stewart’s friendship with Tom Sturridge
- Hugh Grant’s hooker, Divine Brown, wants to invite him to her wedding
| Hot Guy Friday: Sometimes you just need to ache for it Posted: 10 Sep 2010 08:50 AM PDT In the scope of Marlon Brando's life, he really only had a brief moment of hotness in the public eye. It lasted roughly a decade, but my God, what a f-cking decade. Everything about him just oozed sex and desire and sensuality and something so wounded and delicate, yet so animal and primal. Too much? Jesus, I love old photos of Marlon Brando. Just empty your mind of every idea you've ever had of the modern Brando, the man's whose bad habits ruined him… and just remember The Hotness. Ladies, Marlon Brando is our headliner Hot Guy. Enjoy. Do you know how much my white, Southern mother loves Sidney Poitier? She’s been in love with him since she was a little girl, growing up in 1950s Georgia, and as a little girl she would tell people that she was going to marry him some day. As you can imagine, this was frowned upon. But damn, he was so beautiful! I can see her point. A lot of people think Harrison Ford looked his finest in the Star Wars days. True, Han Solo was a sexy bitch. Who amongst us didn't moan (with pleasure) a little when Laia tells her nerfherder that she loves her him and he says, "I know"? That was so f-cking badass. But my favorite version of Harrison is from Working Girl. I love him in that era - the late 1980s, early 1990s. That was his heyday, and he was getting a little old for some of this sh-t, but he was still working that boyish handsome thing. Love his crooked smile. Since you girls seem to be happy with vintage, can I do a vintage dude that I’ve always found incredibly beautiful? I think Sam Cooke might be one of the most beautiful men, with one of the most amazing voices, ever to walk this earth. LOVE. Are you people into Henry Cavill? I’ve never really noticed him before, but he’s pretty. I’m trying to play it cool, because secretly I want to see what he tastes like. I bet it tastes like cinnamon. This week was the finale of White Collar’s second season, and I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I’m really, really worried about my favorite character. Fortunately, Matt Bomer’s fine ass is probably going to make it back for a third season - praise Jesus. My taste runs more towards Tom DeKay, but I appreciate Bomer’s loveliness: Did someone order some Ryan Gosling? I wonder what it would be like to date him? Because he’s boyfriend material, in my opinion. He’s not some hot piece you meet at the bar and f-ck in the bathroom. No, you act like a lady, makeout with him in the bathroom, feel guilty that you didn’t put out, and then pray to God that he calls. And when he does, you’ve got your boyfriend. Shia LaBeouf isn’t for everybody, but I adore the kid. He has mother issues and he’s a fabulous little con artist, but he also seems like a sweet kid, hyper-aware of being a professional and being good to his fans. Plus, I love his quirky looks. He brings out the cougar in me. Just a little taste of Jake Gyllenhaal, when he was quite young (but legal!). I call this “The Boyfriend Photo” - Jake looks like he’s been photographed by his girlfriend right after he’s woken up, and he’s all grumpy, but you know he would probably be up for it in a minute. Dominic West, anyone? The rare dude who shouldn’t have facial hair or scruff. Actually, scratch that… his whole chin area is very weird to me. Don’t get me wrong, I would hit it like it was the Last Dong Ever, but I’m just saying, “weird chin.” I don’t care for Paul Walker because I used to be in love with a dude who looked so much like him, and the dude was a heartbreaker. Paul is cute, though. He just reminds me of pain, though. In honor of the U.S. Open, let’s do a couple of hot tennis guys, shall we? Personally, I think Rafa has a rat-face, but I know he has a fanbase, so here you go: Janko! James Blake. I think he’s so hot. Andy Roddick, who I’m kind of “meh” on. I can’t help it, I love Roger Federer: Robin Soderling is rather cute too: I’m not sure who Albert Montanes, but I like that he gets romantic with his racket. I love that Jesse L. Martin is trying to bring back the jaunty hat. And plus, I want to see him naked… he can keep the hat on though. I really like Ryan Kwanten now. He’s adorable. Lenny Kravitz is kind of hot. He’s got a rockin’ bod and he’s talented. Enjoy. Charlie Hunnam, by request. He’s the kind of guy that I don’t like in photos, but I would be all over him in person. He’s kind of intense too, isn’t he? Like, sexy intense. So… I watched The Break-Up Plan, and I f-cking hated it. It was a train-wreck. But this Alex O’Loughlin guy is f-cking beautiful. Ian Somerhalder isn’t my choice. You girls have suggested him time and time again, and I always feel so “meh” about him. Sure, I get why you like him. He’s pretty. But I first saw him in Lost, and while I appreciated the Boone character, I can’t say I really missed him when he was killed off. Ian is not the best actor. At all. And he has freaky eyes. Now, all that being said, I am really, really enjoying the cowboy hat photo. Eric Stoltz, forever crush. Sweet ginger boy. I’m really not feeling this Matthew Gray Gubler person. But you request it, and I shall provide it. He looks like his best friend is a needle. Earlier this week, I did a Hot Guy Wednesday devoted to the men of the GQ UK Man of the Year awards. There were some fine specimens, but there was one dude in particular that seemed to set off the “CODE RED, MUST BONE NOW” alert. His name is David Gandy, and he’s a model, and he’s like an even prettier, buffer, hotter, more luscious version of Matt Bomer. I didn’t recognize him at first with all of his clothes on, but now that I’ve looked him up, I know where I’ve seen him - he’s that fine piece in the Dolce & Gabanna “Light Blue” (or whatever) ads. He’s the hottie laying down in a boat, f-cking you with his eyes. Him. Also: when I was looking up photos of him, I found these NSFW GEMS. Enjoy this sh-t. Because I think this might be perfection. Oh, Clive. I found your fansite with a well-maintained photo gallery, and I went overboard. I hope you don't mind. At this point, I think my panties have pretty much vaporized. Photos courtesy of WENN, Clive Owen’s fansite, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.      |
| Michelle Duggar wants another child and will die for it ‘if that’s what God wants’ Posted: 10 Sep 2010 08:14 AM PDT
[From The National Enquirer's website thanks Oxa!] The print edition of the Enquirer has the “if that’s what God wants” quote. Michelle supposedly “told a friend” that “I would like to be around to raise my children and see them grow - but only if that’s what the Lord wants. “More than anything, Jim Bob and I want to have another child, even though we know that there are substantial risks involved. I know I could have a stroke… or worse. “But if that’s what God wants, so be it.” The source goes on to say that “three of her oldest children” are “ready, willing and able to help their dad raise the younger kids if anything happens to her.” As selfless as Michelle tries to portray herself, she’s sure relying on her children to cover for her while she has a ton of kids that she can’t take care of. Header image credit: TLC    |
| Liam Neeson, 58, has a new, young, 36-year-old blonde girlfriend Posted: 10 Sep 2010 08:08 AM PDT According to British and American sources, Liam Neeson has a new girlfriend. This is likely the first girlfriend he's had since Natasha Richardson passed away in March of last year, and the indications are that Liam hasn't been dating this woman for very long. Her name is Freya St. Johnston, she's very blonde and pretty, she's a businesswoman, and she's 36 years old (Liam is 58 years old). I think she's British? She lives in London. You can see photos of her at The Daily Mail here - they're calling her a "Natasha look-alike" but she strikes me as more of a Uma Thurman-Chloe Sevigny hybrid.
[From The Daily Mail] Eh. The portrait of this woman… she seems a bit famewhorish, just from that bit about her Facebook, and the fact that her "friend" was very eager to confirm their date. Plus, Nobu is a trendy place. Still, if this is what Liam wants, so be it. He's entitled to some happiness. I won't even say anything about how she's a bit too young for him and that she sounds like she could potentially be another Heather Mills. I swear I won't.    |
| Jessica Simpson is the guest judge on the finale of Project Runway Posted: 10 Sep 2010 07:37 AM PDT ******NOTE: There are NO SPOILERS for future episodes of Project Runway here, but there might be a few for past episodes. Yesterday was the big runway show for the finale of Project Runway at New York's Fashion Week. This happens every season of Project Runway - because they film the finale while still relatively mid-season of the airing of Project Runway, many, many sites run a series of spoilers as to who made it to the finale. I am not going to do that - because I can't. I have very carefully avoided all of those other posts, and I hope all of you commenters avoid spoiling it for all of us too. Because, at long last, I have gotten into this season of Project Runway - and it took me long enough. I think it was Gretchen and her Epic Bitchface that did it for me. I want that piece of work to fail and fail hard, and I will keep watching until she does. It's not even that I hate her designs - she's an okay designer, really. It's her f-cking attitude. She's snotty, she's unprofessional, and with her f-cked up attitude, I can't see how she would make it very far in this or any industry. Another one is But my point, and this is perhaps a very tiny little SPOILER: Jessica Simpson is the guest judge on the finale. That's right. Jessica "I Dress Pregnant All The Time Now" Simpson. That being said, I will prefer Jess to some of the other nonsensical "fashion girls" PR has had on - Kristen Bell?!? Seriously? And next week it's January Jones! I prefer it when they have actual designers or fashion professionals on to judge - their criticisms are always better. That being said, I actually can't wait to see what Jess says during the finale. It should be epic. I think Jess is wearing Michael Kors too - eh. Her hair should be different - look at how puffy her face looks with that style! As My Gunn would say, Jess is not making it work. Project Runway finale photos from Sept. 9, 2010. Credit: Fame.    |
| How “intense” is the sex between Halle Berry & Olivier Martinez? Posted: 10 Sep 2010 07:12 AM PDT There isn't really anything new in this Us Weekly story - it's just their version of a confirmation of the "romance" between Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez, which People reported/confirmed days ago. But Us Weekly has their own sources, and those sources are romantics. The basic story is that Halle and Olivier are not "just boning" as I would have thought. According to these sources, it's a very passionate, intense romance. Sigh… damn, the sex must be awesome and nasty, right? It's always nice when two sexual freaks can get together and be "intense."
[From Us Weekly] My take - and this judgment comes from reading Halle's most recent interview in Vogue - is that Halle is still screwed up about men and relationships, and she is truly and honestly not looking to jump into another relationship. That being said, I think Halle likes to get laid, often and well (good girl). Even though the tabloids and their "sources" are praying that this will be an intense relationship that lasts months and even years, I doubt it. Halle and Olivier might be able to hold this sh-t together until the film opens next year or whenever, but my guess is that Halle is going to be all "see ya, bitch" in a few months or sooner.    |
| Chris Klein is basically just around so we can kick him, repeatedly Posted: 10 Sep 2010 06:46 AM PDT It's safe to say that Chris Klein's career is over. The brief foray into being some kind of solid character actor who made the transition from teen films to adult roles has ended. No one wants him after his second DUI arrest, and his subsequent two-month-long rehab stay. No one even cared that he was sentenced to four days in jail for his DUI, four years of probation, and take alcohol classes for 18 months. His lawyer even tried to make Chris sound like a hero, telling a media outlet, "Chris took immediate responsibility for what he did and has used this experience in such a positive way to get help and confront an addiction to alcohol. He deserves enormous credit for stepping up and getting it done." Enormous credit? He could have killed someone. Surprisingly enough, the drinking and the legal issues aren't really the reason why Chris will likely never work again - it's his crappy acting, and the fact that he's basically a joke in Hollywood. Maybe his career was over as soon as his horrible, coked-up, crazed audition tape for Mamma Mia was leaked. So maybe this new video is kicking a dude when he's down. Perhaps. But it's still kind of funny. Someone compiled all of Chris's dialogue from Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, and it is epic in its bad acting and hilarity:
Everything Chris Klein Says in “The Legend of Chun Li” from Jeff Rubin on Vimeo. I’ll admit it: I laughed. So, yeah. He's over. This is probably the last post about him ever, unless he kills someone. God I hope this is the last post.    |
| Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to “act” trashy, drunk & Southern in her new film Posted: 10 Sep 2010 06:21 AM PDT Please, no one make a play on the word "Country" and "C-U-Next-Tuesday" please. The trailer for Gwyneth Paltrow's new film, Country Strong, was just released and it is… ugh. I mean, I was a bit startled because it's been a while since I've seen Gwyneth "act." I still haven't seen Iron Man 2, so my only exposure to Goopy lately has been through photos and Goop newsletters. So, she's "acting" as a country music singer who is struggling with alcoholism and a crappy marriage and a comeback and a young All About Eve-esque upstart (Leighton Meester) who seems to be angling for Goopy's career and her marriage. Here's the trailer: First, what I like: Gwyneth is singing her own songs, and good for her. Her voice is stronger than most pop stars, and she doesn't sound bad, at all. Also, the ensemble looks interesting - Tim McGraw is turning into a solid supporting actor, Leighton Meester finally gets an interesting part, and the younger dude, Garrett Hedlund is an up-and-comer who looks pretty hot. What I don't like… ugh, so much. Goopy's "hick" Southern accent sounds so cheesy. I hate when Yankees do that fakey Southern twang, like every Southerner sounds like Britney Spears. It's not the case, at all. No one ever tries to do a classy Southern accent anymore. Secondly, I'll have to see it to be sure, but I'm not buying Goopy's "lush" scenes. No self-respecting lush just stands beside the bed throwing things. A real lush climbs into bed, starts sobbing and picks up the phone to start drunk-dialing, for real. But the main problem I have with this is a story problem: at one point, McGraw's character, the husband/manager I suppose, seems to be saying that this is the country singer's "last chance." Now, if she was an alcoholic pop star who got a D.U.I., that might be the case. But she's a country music star - the country music fan base would be perfectly able to "forgive" one of their stars if she was a lush. They will forgive anything as long as the singer doesn't try to go mainstream and "forget her roots." True story.    |
| In Touch: Sheryl Crow used to date Aniston’s new hookup, Josh Hopkins Posted: 10 Sep 2010 06:12 AM PDT
This week’s In Touch has a story claiming Sheryl Crow is furious at Jennifer Aniston for going out with a guy she used to date, their mutual friend Courteney Cox’s Cougar Town costar, Josh Hopkins. I doubt that In Touch knows anything other than the fact that Sheryl also costarred with Josh, but she might possibly be peeved that Jen is stepping in on her territory. From In Touch’s account, Sheryl and Josh are long over, but it does make Josh seem like he’s game for whichever female guest star shows up on set. He met Sheryl when she also worked on the show with Courteney. The photo In Touch uses with this story is one that was taken on set, though, and I couldn’t find anything to back up their claim that Sheryl and Josh were dating.
[From In Touch, print edition, September 20, 2010] I doubt Sheryl asked this guy out again and this is probably the last we’ll hear of this story. Would you be annoyed at a friend if they dated your ex? I wouldn’t be too happy if it was someone I’d been with for a few years, especially if things ended badly or my friend didn’t give me the heads up. It might mean that I would continue to have to see him if I wanted to hang out with my friend. If it was just a casual date-type situation I probably wouldn’t care much if a friend hooked up with an ex. It could be awkward if you’d have to hang out with the both of them, though. I think that Sheryl and Jen have been friends long enough to not be bothered by something like this - if it’s true. Plus, according to Aniston’s rep/an “insider” she’s “going on dates with fun, interesting men!” It’s not like she’s going to get serious with this Josh guy. Mild Cougar Town spoilers Cougar town photos via Zap2It    |
| Robert Pattinson is jealous of Kristen Stewart’s friendship with Tom Sturridge Posted: 10 Sep 2010 06:00 AM PDT Oooh, I love this story! I hope at least parts of it are true, because it just gave me the biggest flashback to high school EVER. It's all about hidden, secret crushes and playing two boys off of each other and being epically cool. I never did any of that stuff in high school (especially the cool part), but I did watch and learn from the cool girls. As we all should - because Kristen Stewart is playing this sh-t like a pro. So In Touch Weekly's story starts out as a simple love triangle - Robert Pattinson is jealous of Kristen's On the Road costar Tom Sturridge. K-Stew and Tom have apparently been flirting and hanging out and having a great time. So, Sparkles got his panties in a wad about that. Here's the rub though: Tom and Sparkles are BFFs! Sparkles and Tom are so tight that Kristen used to bitch to Sparkles about Tom taking up so much of his time! Oh, Kristen. You fabulous bitch. Flirting with your boyfriend's best friend and getting them to fight over you, thus making their (time-consuming) friendship null and void because of the power of the vadge? Awesome.
[From In Touch Weekly, print edition] Can you imagine the breast-beating and heartbreak in the Twihard universe if Kristen ever dumped Sparkles for Tom? True, there would heartbreak if she dumped Sparkles for anybody, but if she left him for his best friend? This would a Shakespearean-level tragedy in the TwiWorld. And by "Shakespeare" I mean "the dude Twihards consider the second best author after Stephenie Meyer." If Kristen pulled off that hat trick, she would be universally reviled. I don't think she would - but damn, that's a funny scenario, isn't it? Oh, Gossip Cop “refuted” the story here - but they don’t have a denial or quotes to back it up or anything. I think this story has the whiff of plausibility, just because I want to believe that Kristen is this clever. Also… damn, Tom Sturridge and Sparkles are a pair, aren’t they? Open-mouthed, fey, pretty. Yeah, I can see this sh-t. And I mean the homoeroticism.    |
| Hugh Grant’s hooker, Divine Brown, wants to invite him to her wedding Posted: 10 Sep 2010 05:56 AM PDT
The $50 BJ that Hugh ordered turned into millions in interview money for Hugh’s hooker, Divine Brown, and she’s been open in thanking him for enabling her to live the high life. Brown, now 41, lives in Atlanta, GA with her fiance and has put her two oldest girls through college. She also has a 21 month-old daughter and is getting married this fall. She wants to invite Grant to her wedding, if only to continue to squeeze some more money out of the notoriety he earned her.
[From The National Enquirer, print edition, September 20, 2010] It sounds like Divine has turned over a new leaf, but this profile is radically different from an interview she gave to The Daily Mail in 2007 in which she posed in a short dress and bragged about the luxurious lifestyle she lived. She was effusive in her thanks to Grant back then, and said “I love Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant put my kids through school, gave us a chance of the life we probably would’ve never reached. We had a chance to travel on private jets. If I can meet him and shake his hand all I would like to say is: ‘Thank you. I appreciate you, and if there is anything I can do in return I would love to be a friend’.” In the National Enquirer, Divine has some pity for Grant as he’s still single at 50. She said “What a shame he hasn’t found lasting happiness. But who knows what the future holds for him? It’s not too late to settle down.” Hugh might not mind Divine’s pity, he seems to have plenty of it for himself, too. I doubt he’ll bother to RSVP to her invitation, but it might be quite a boost to his lagging career if he showed up. Hugh is shown below on 7/16/10. First photo below is his ‘95 mugshot. Header image via Eurweb Here’s a still from Four Weddings and a Funeral: [via Wikipedia]    |
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