Best Week Ever |
- Well, Now Your Day Is Ruined
- John Lithgow Is Even Super Likable When He’s Yelling “C*cks*cker!!”
- Having A Rough Day? Bunnies In Cups Will Make You Feel Better
- NFL WEEK 4 RECAP: Breast Cancer Awareness Week Goes Smoothly
- Teach: Tony Danza Episode 1 Recap: Worst Recap Idea Ever
- Saturday Night Live Power Rankings: Vanessa Bayer Makes Her Mark
- True Grit Full Trailer: Even Truer Grit
| Posted: 05 Oct 2010 08:35 AM PDT Somebody made a Sarah Bieber.
Face/body mash-ups are scary. Even when I was a total Conan head in high school, I would have to change the channel when he did the If They Mated segment. I’m not even a fan of natural mash-ups. You know, babies. Those things are seriously weird. A tiny real life photoshop blend of two people made into a little human with no shirt on and functionless toes… why do we keep making those? Though, I must admit, thematically, this is a very good mash-up. Justin Bieber and Sarah Palin: Think about their two career paths and write a 500 word essay on hype, the media and the correlative or inverse relationship between fame and success. Sort of not really thanks, Buzzfeed.  |
| John Lithgow Is Even Super Likable When He’s Yelling “C*cks*cker!!” Posted: 05 Oct 2010 07:52 AM PDT The Doug Benson podcast Doug Loves Movies — a super-listenable, absurdly casual 40-minute conversation with comedians that vaguely mentions movies at times — just taped a momentous episode: After 9 months of trying to lure John Lithgow onto the show in honor of his starring in the movie 2010, the notoriously likable star of Cliffhanger, Harry and the Hendersons, and some other lesser movies (Terms Of Endsomething?) finally appeared on the show. Below, for your not-doing-work pleasure, John Lithgow talking with Doug, Paul F. Tompkins, and Jimmy Pardo about being in every movie ever, his son calling him an assh*ole, and his opinion on Leonard Maltin’s two-star rating for Raising Cain:
If you don’t have time to watch a 50-minute embed at your job (where do you work, a crooked 1910s textile plant?), you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes here. It’s perfect for that morning subway commute, or however you non New Yorkers get places (running?)  |
| Having A Rough Day? Bunnies In Cups Will Make You Feel Better Posted: 04 Oct 2010 02:36 PM PDT Don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my second cup of a bunny wiggling it’s nose. – Me all grumpy in the morning. Wow. Good job, everyone involved in this video. Excellent execution all the way around. Those bunnies are so going to get laid. This will be the next internet thing they make a movie about. “A bunny in a cup isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Two bunnies in individual cups.” That line will be in the preview. And then another guy will be all like “If you guys would have invented putting bunnies in a cup, you’d have put bunnies in a cup.” And then some other dude goes, “People want to go on the internet and check out bunnies in a cup. Why not build a YouTube video that does that? Bunnies, cups… I’m talking about taking the entire bunny in a cup experience and putting it online.” And then Eduardo storms across the office and yells, “MAAAARK!” Thanks, Buzzfeed.  |
| NFL WEEK 4 RECAP: Breast Cancer Awareness Week Goes Smoothly Posted: 04 Oct 2010 03:42 PM PDT
Your NFL Week 4 Recap, in the form of wacky photos, dumb Photoshops, and incredibly in-depth game film analysis: Broncos 26, Titans 20 Raciest moment of the week: Titans defensive coordinator Chuck Cecil gave the finger to a ref after a call he didn’t like, as seen here on SportsCenter:
It’s bad enough the dude has a super-blurry right arm, but now you’re gonna fine him for it? Pretty cruel there, NFL. Even if his blurry gesture is in fact plagiarizing the Aerosmith “Cryin” video.
Falcons 16, 49ers 14 This game topped the Raiders’ missed field goal from Week 3 as the most painful loss of the season; up by 1 point with under 2 minutes left, San Francisco cornerback Nate Clements intercepted a pass which would’ve sealed the game, but Falcons receiver Roddy White caught him from behind and stripped the ball, the Falcons recovered, then drove back down the field for a winning field goal. If Clements had literally just gone down instead of continuing to run, the Niners would’ve won. The painful-loss ball is officially back in your court, Oakland. With the Niners now 0-4, coach Mike Singletary is reacting accordingly:
Browns 23, Bengals 20 My mom always complains when two teams’ uniforms are too similar. I’m assuming she didn’t stick around to watch this one:
Jets 38, Bills 14 Saturday night, I told two Jets-fan friends of mine, “You guys got the Bills this week? So you’ll be 3-1,” and one immediately responded “I don’t know, going on the road after a big win, it’s a total trap game,” and the other agreed and added “Plus Ryan Fitzpatrick really moved the ball last week and Revis is still out. They could definitely lose this game.” My point: It always amuses me how negative and worried all fans are about their own team, even when non-fans can objectively see that they’ll be fine. The Jets killed, of course, and the Bills’ quest for the #1 Pick continued unabated. Rams 20, Seahawks 3 St. Louis dismantled Seattle for their second straight win, locking three 2-2 teams atop the atrocious NFC West. If someone wins the division with a losing record, do they get a bonus, like some NFL form of Shooting The Moon?
Packers 28, Lions 26 If I were 0-4 after losing 3 games by a combined 10 points, I’d be hiding in my shell too:
Ravens 17, Steelers 14 Ugh. Great way to spend a Sunday afternoon: Gathering with Pittsburgh friends to watch two missed field goals and 88 yards of penalties in a 3-point loss, followed by having to watch John Harbaugh and Ray Lewis jump into each others’ arms like they won a goddamn Super Bowl. The day improved in the afternoon, though, when I accidentally slammed my testicles in the fridge. I also had to remind several of my Pittsburgh friends that we can’t reeeally yell “MURDERER!” at Ray Lewis anymore. When Roethlisberger returns in two weeks, let’s just call it even.
Saints 16, Panthers 14 I very narrowly avoided getting knocked out of my suicide pool with this game, but the Saints emerged victorious to move to 3-1, even though they continued to look shaky:
Jaguars 31, Colts 28 Zuh? So are the Jaguars absolutely terrible, or are they a possible Wildcard sleeper? Jack Del Rio knows:
Texans 31, Raiders 24 All I have to say about this one is that “Texans / Raiders” sounds a lot like “Tusken Raiders.” Which is a coincidence, because Al Davis is gonna draft this dude next year after he ran a 4.35-40 at the combine on Tatooine:
Redskins 17, Eagles 12 Think Donovan McNabb watched Andy Reid’s team get a Delay of Game penalty after having a full five-minute Officials’ Booth Review to get organized and thought to himself, “It’s good to be back?”
I really want some Domino’s Pizza now, too, after seeing the game stats displayed inside a pizza box:
Giants 17, Bears 3 Best part of the broadcast: Bears backup QB Todd Collins throws a rough interception in the fourth quarter, and while going to commercial, NBC shows the replay in slo-mo while blasting “My Own Worst Enemy.” Well done, NBC go-to-commercial music person — we noticed. Chargers 41, Cardinals 10 This one was a blowout halfway through the first quarter. Here’s a Chargers cheerleader with Lady-Situation abs:
NFL Week 3 Reactions? Leave ‘em in the comments.  |
| Teach: Tony Danza Episode 1 Recap: Worst Recap Idea Ever Posted: 05 Oct 2010 12:55 AM PDT This is a recap of the first episode of A&E’s new television program, Teach: Tony Danza. Oh, Boy. It is the worst show. When you hear the title “Teach: Tony Danza,” you assume the show will have a sense of humor about itself. It does not. The first episode of Teach: Tony Danza begins with three minutes of explanation of the show’s premise. Listed below are the things that are explained plus one thing that is implied. 1. Tony Danza originally was going to be a teacher. 2. Instead of teaching he fell ass backwards into acting after being a boxer? 3. He wants to explore the path in life he did not take. 4. He has left his family behind in L.A. to come teach at an urban public school, Northeast Highschool, in Philadelphia. 5. There are no urban public schools in L.A. You guys want to hear a super cool Teach: Tony Danza “NOT” Joke? Cool. Here it goes. This sounds like a really good idea for a TV show. NOT! Hahahaha. That was awesome. Okay, let’s continue. After the three minute premise explanation, Tony Danza wakes up (and bakes up?) for his first day of school.
He arrives at Northeast High School, and immediately runs into trouble with Mrs. DeNaples who is in charge of letting us know that Tony Danza is kind of dumb. This clip pretty much sums up the entire show. Mr. Danza! That’s not your name! Jesus. This is going to be a long season.
After that, a number of students explain how they feel about Tony Danza teaching at their school. Most are very skeptical and think it is probably not a good idea. They are way better at assessing how good of an idea it is for Tony Danza to be teaching at their school than Tony Danza is. The students all seem genuinely likable and smart. And adolescent mustachey. They’re probably even more adolescent mustachey than they are likable and smart.
Tony Danza then goes to the principal’s office where the principal also explains that she thinks that Tony Danza should not be a teacher and that this is a bad idea for a show… But she’s going to let him do it anyway apparently. Why? It’s not really explained.
The principal lays down the law with Tony Danza. She’s going to be super tough on him. If he screws up just this much, he’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog sh*t out of Hong Kong. Finally, the bell rings and kids start pouring into Tony Danza’s first class. Here we go! Tony Danza immediately asks all of his students to sanitize their hands as they come through the door.
At first, I thought this was a little OCD weird, but after I thought about it, it I realized that it is the only reasonable thing Tony Danza does in the entire episode. These kids really do look like they need to sanitize their hands. Even more than hand sanitizers, though, they need adolescent mustache sanitizers. Because that sh*t is GOING AROUND.
Tony Danza begins “teaching.” He is clearly nervous and just barely gets through his class rules.
Haha! Tony Danza! You’re kind of dumb! Your first rule is three rules, and your third rule isn’t a rule. And your second rule… well, that really is a pretty good rule. “Be kind.” But I still think it could use a little work. Let’s Danza it up.
There we go. After the rules, a student asks if Tony Danza is a millionaire. Tony Danza admits that he is a millionaire, but explains that “a million isn’t what it used to be.” He’s just like them he says! After all, his dad used to be a garbage man. “Oh my god! All of our dads are garbage men!” none of them say. Actually, most of the students respond to him and become willing to give him a chance. They’re trying to be open minded. Except for Ben A.K.A. Kyle (“it’s a long story”). “I don’t think he really relates to us.” Ben A.K.A Kyle says. Apparently, Ben A.K.A. Kyle hasn’t been quite as rosey as the other students ever since he, like so many before him, was infected with the highly contagious adolescent mustache.
Another student then asks if Tony Danza is nervous. Why does she ask that? Because Tony Danza is covered in sweat. She suggests that he might want to wear an undershirt.
She is very good at suggesting things. At the end of class, nobody is impressed. Even the kids who seemed willing to give him a chance seem let down. Tony Danza says he’ll try to get better. Tony Danza then goes to help coach some football. He seems much better suited for this… until he actually starts coaching. The head coach asks him to say a few words to the team. Tony Danza then proceeds to say a lot of words in a row that don’t actually mean anything. He spends a great deal of time telling them to put “one step in front of the other”. The team looks sad about listening to him. “Please stop making us sad about listening to you,” all their sad mustachey faces say.
The next day, Tony Danza goes back to school, and things don’t get much better. He totally screws up explaining what a third person omniscient narrator is, and when a student corrects him, he is all like “duuuuuhhhhhhh…. ”
“Mr. Danza looked like he was wrong. And if you know you wrong, you look like you wrong.” – A student’s very accurate explanation of Tony Danza’s face. The rest of the day continues to go poorly. He can’t find a print-out of all the story elements that he wanted to hand out, and students complain about how unorganized he is. He also gets chastised by a teacher for talking too much and making everything all about him. The episode ends with the first football game of the season. Northeast High loses. Nothing is going right. So that was the episode. Oh, man. Wow. Let me just say, it was really difficult to watch. There is something very uninteresting about seeing somebody who you would assume would be a bad teacher being a bad teacher. I can’t believe I have to watch this every week. I double dog dare all of you to watch this with me for the duration of the season.  |
| Saturday Night Live Power Rankings: Vanessa Bayer Makes Her Mark Posted: 04 Oct 2010 02:07 PM PDT
Rightly so, most of the conversation surrounding this weekend’s Bryan Cranston hosted episode of Saturday Night Live has revolved around Kanye West’s next level performances of “Power” and “Runaway.” Now that you’ve had enough time to digest those, we figured it was high time to start breaking down this week’s Saturday Night Live Power Rankings for you. After all, it was the first time that one of the newbies got an opportunity to play the lead in a sketch and, much to Lorne’s delight, it was totally F-Bomb free! So, please follow along and find out where Vanessa Bayer and the rest of her SNL brethren landed on this week’s Power Rankings.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: 10/2/10 (Host: Bryan Cranston; Musical Guest: Kanye West) 1. Andy Samberg (49 points): Before this season began, there were tons of rumors swirling around Studio 8H that two-thirds of the Lonely Island trio –specifically, Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer — would not be returning this season. However, cooler heads ultimately prevailed and the fellas made the wise decision to return to the show. This week, the guys made their first Digital Short impression of the season with Rescue Dogs 3D, which, along with the news cycle, helped to propel Samberg to the top of the pack this week. Our only question: Will this be the last we see of his admirable portrayals of both Rahm Emanuel and Cathy?
3. Fred Armisen (28 points): “I sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice to your house. Did you get it?” Armisen proved himself to be the consummate pro with this winning number, especially when you consider that host Bryan Cranston nearly derailed this bit in the sketch’s opening seconds by singing the wrong line TWICE (!) in a row. 4. Bobby Moynihan (26 points): This was Moynihan’s second appearance as “second-hand news correspondent” Anthony Crespino. He was able to land a few decent sized laughs from the crowd this week, but nothing really stood out. Here’s hoping we get to see the return of Mark Payne this season. 5. Taran Killam (16 points): Killam benefitted from ubiquity in this week’s episode, as he played supporting roles in the monologue, Shanna and “What Up With That?” Regarding the latter, we were hoping he was going to bring something new to the announcer character that Will Forte pioneered, but sadly, it was just more of the same. 6 (tie). Bill Hader, Vanessa Bayer, Nasim Pedrad (14 points): Wow! Thanks to her “pretty cool” impression of Miley Cyrus, Vanessa Bayer has quickly established herself as the stand-out talent of the crop of SNL freshmen. Pedrad, meanwhile, struggled with her new character Henry, a nerd that seemed a bit too close to her Bedelia character for comfort. 9 (tie). Abby Elliott, Jay Pharoah (12 points): Not much to say about either one of these folks this week, although Pharoah’s portrayal of a Bootsy Collins-esque character was highly entertaining. Also, were those his voices in the i-Sleep Pro commercial that Kenan starred in? We think so, so we’re giving him the credit.
12. Paul Brittain (9 points): What a terrific Johnny Depp impression! Unfortunately, that was about it for him this week. 13. Kristin Wiig (8 points): Is Kristin Wiig over? Of course not, but we can’t help but feel like her schtick is starting to run thin, both with Lorne and audiences alike. Her portrayal of the sexy-yet-not Shanna was her only appearance on the show this weekend, which is very strange considering the heavy lifting she’s done as a castmember over the last seven-plus seasons. We’ll be keeping a close eye on this one. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS Reference Materials:
Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true!  |
| True Grit Full Trailer: Even Truer Grit Posted: 04 Oct 2010 10:38 AM PDT Here’s the full trailer for the Coen Brothers’ True Grit remake (reboot? re-grit?), featuring 3 minutes of almost entirely different footage for your “Yay new Coen Brothers!” / “Doing a new True Grit is SACRILEGE!” arguments. I fall into the former category, but mostly because I really love Jeff Bridges’ Larry Flynt impression. The Grit…JUST…GOT…TRUER:  |
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