Friday, October 8, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

AD WIZARDS: Roger Sterling is a Mad Man Behind the Wheel

Posted: 08 Oct 2010 09:16 AM PDT

In the voice of Sex and the City‘s Samantha Jones, “Beep beep.” While you try to figure out if that makes any sense (it doesn’t), we have great news to report: Actor John Slattery is stepping out from behind the advertising to star in one. “The Classiest Son of a Bitch in Hollywood,” a moniker we hope sticks, is now shilling for Lincoln MKZ Hybrids, and got-daim if he doesn’t reek of elegance throughout.

As someone whose first car was a broken Lincoln Town Car that my parents passed down to me despite the fact that the shocks were all broken, rendering my ride “pimped” with hydraulics whether I liked it or not, allow me to be the first to say that I genuinely support this casting. Put Mad Men‘s Roger Sterling in ads for anything, and we will buy that thing and then spoon that thing. Simple math, gentlemen.

Bit By A Computerized Devil Puppy? Call My Law Firm!

Posted: 08 Oct 2010 08:51 AM PDT

This local Pittsburgh ad for Attorney Edgar Snyder has actually been on the air for over a year, which I can only imagine is a testament to how effective it is, but I just saw it again today and figured I wouldn’t be much of a law-abiding citizen if I didn’t pass it along.

Basically, if you’re playing soccer inside Max Headroom and a puppy sees you and decides to listen to the devil puppy on his shoulder, you should call Attorney Edgar Snyder, even though Edgar Snyder also loves 90s-virtual reality dogs. Just keep that in mind:

The Prescription Drug Side-Effects Megamix

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 11:15 PM PDT

From suicidal thoughts to increased gambling urges to even more suicidal thoughts, lengthy lists of dramatic side effects have always been there to make prescription drug commercials unintentionally amusing. Below, your official Awesome Prescription Drug Side Effects Megamix, just in case you were thinking about ever taking a prescription drug for any reason. Unless that reason was “lack of suicidal thoughts.”

Pee-Wee’s Big New York Adventure

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 05:08 PM PDT

Pee Wee Herman is in New York! Prepping for his big Broadway show, The Pee-Wee Herman Show, starting on October 26. And if you follow him on Twitter, as I do, then you’ve been privy to his Big New York Adventure today. Of course this would happen mere weeks after I move out of New York, but alas, if you are there, keep your eyes peeled for a fresh-faced gent in a gray suit. It will either be Pee Wee, or my at 5 years old in my Halloween costume.

And please, if you live within a 500 mile radius, SEE HIS SHOW.

ADMIT IT, YOU’D HIT IT: 48-Year-Old Tom Cruise Edition

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 03:49 PM PDT

Here is Tom Cruise filming Mission Impossible 4. Wait a second, hold on, let’s try this again:

Here is Tom Cruise filming Mission Impossible 4. Cruise, who turned 48 years old this summer, is reaching Vladimir Putin levels of hotness in these photos taken from the set. Barrel chested, floppy haired, and crazier than ever, is it any wonder we keep coming back for more?

Well, kind of. Then again, if Scientologists are the ones responsible for teaching him this very beguiling hair flip, we might be more willing to sign up…

Ahead, many more pics of Tom Cruise showing off his admirable shape… click because they really need to be seen to be believed.

[Photos via Splash News Online]

This Guy Is REALLY Into Saturday Night Live

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 03:02 PM PDT

Some say too into Saturday Night Live. Youtube user crgmorgan has been making his own personal series of SNL lip dub videos for a few months now, but he hadn’t tasted the sweet nectar of viral video success until his imitation of Kristin Wiig’s perpetually surprised character Sue was uploaded yesterday (for those of you not familiar with the sketch he’s reprising, look no further). While we hope that crgmorgan is enjoying this time that he gets to bask in the warming rays of viral video glory — 50K views and climbing! — we highly suggest that he takes a few moments out of his day, puts his shirt on and backs up his videos onto his local hard drive. After all, as anyone who has tried in vain to search for SNL clips on Youtube will attest, NBC/Universal is crazy vigilant about keeping their prized content off of any video sharing site that doesn’t have Hulu or NBC in its URL.

Want more crgmorgan? We’ve got his impression of Stefon below.

[Thanks for the linkage, Hez!]

UNBREAK HER BANK: Toni Braxton Files for Bankruptcy

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 02:24 PM PDT

Ain’t this a damn shame? Toni Braxton — TONI BRAXTON — has had to file for bankruptcy. Don’t believe us? Allow these court papers that we really shouldn’t have access to do the speaking for us:

Braxton claims she owes up to $50 million dollars.

50

Million

Dollars.

How the hellllllllll did you get $50 million dollars in debt, Toni Braxton?? Well, according to Splash News, “her list of creditors include jewelery store Tiffany’s, high end hotels like the Peninsula and the Westin, and LA’s Parking Violations Bureau.” How many PARKING TICKETS did TONI BRAXTON rack up?! Do you understand how many times you would have to double park in order to get even a million dollar’s worth of parking tickets?

And what the F*CK was she buyin’ at TIFFANY’S (–Chris Rock) that she spent nearly $50 million?? Did they find the Heart of the Ocean? The No Hope Diamond?

I mean, really: I just plunked down $800 for a sofa and the same amount for a new TV and am borderline having a stroke. (I am also poor by Braxton standards, but still.) Seriously, Toni Brax, this isn’t even the first time you’ve filed for bankruptcy! For real, girl, just stop buying things. That, or,you know, have another 500 or so hit #1 singles.

I See Your Slutty Cookie Monster And Raise You A Slutty Wookie

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 02:25 PM PDT

Slutty Chewbacca

A few weeks back, our own Dan Hopper turned his critical eye to the numerous ethical issues that are likely to be raised this Halloween when millions* of women dress up as a Slutty Cookie Monster. Well, in the spirit of iconic childhood figures suddenly becoming sexualized by calorie-craving candy fiends, we thought we’d call your attention to this Slutty Wookie (or, as it’s described by the lawsuit-cognizant copywriters over at Yandy.com, “Sci-Fi Furry Costume”) costume. Make no mistake, this is NOT a Slutty Chewbacca costume; everyone knows that Chewie is a dude! Rather, this classily dressed lady is clearly impersonating a female Wookie, albeit one with substantially less hair than George Lucas likely envisioned. We think that’s a good thing.

If this Slutty Wookie costume is too wholesome for you — we know a lot of you BWE readers are drawn to the Dark Side — there’s always this Slutty Darth Vaderette get-up to assist you with getting your Force on. However, regardless of what you dress up as some 24 days from now, though, there’s one thing we implore you to remember: No matter how drunk you get, don’t hook up with a Slutty Ewok. As everyone who ever saw Return Of The Jedi can tell you, that will only lead to disappointment.

[Thanks, The Daily What!]

*Well, maybe not millions, but surely dozens of people will have to deal with these issues.

Ghostbusters 3 News From Your Favorite Vodka Salesman

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 12:38 PM PDT

Last night I had a disagreement with a friend wherein I was positive that Dan Aykroyd was now a tequila salesman. My friend insisted that he was a vodka salesman. After a cursory Internet search, it turns out my friend was right. Mea culpa, Dan Akyroyd. I should have known. Why this argument? Because for Halloween I am going to be Indiana Jones, but, wait for it, Indiana Jones in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And Dan Akyroyd sells his vodka in bottles that are in the shape of skulls. Because it’s called Crystal Head Vodka. Hence, I have my prop (friend who was right about the vodka’s idea). If you don’t have a Halloween costume, and you are of age to buy such a beverage, you can use it. Just don’t show up at the same party as me. That would be the WORST. Can you IMAGINE??

Anyway.

Vanity Fair interviewed Akyroyd about several things, including vodka, but most importantly, about Ghostbusters 3. Here is an excerpt from the interview:

Speaking of your film career, last month in GQ Bill Murray said something that wasn't so nice about Ghostbusters 3.

He was talking about the writers from Year One, and I think he was reacting to the box-office success and the general public view of the film, which in my view was a very serviceable comedy, and in the end I think they'll make their money back. I think he was concerned that the writing on Ghostbusters 3 by these guys would not be up to standard, but I can tell you firsthand, I'm working on the script now and those two—Stupnitsky and Eisenberg, [writer-producers of The Office]—wrote Bill the comic role of a lifetime, and the new Ghostbusters and the old are all well represented in it…we have a strong first draft that Harold [Ramis] and I will take back, and I'm very excited about working on it.

Bill and Ted 3. Heathers 2. True Lies 2. Really?

Look, Hollywood is in love with any kind of nostalgia that can prove itself to be commercial. But it has to evolve. Now [in Ghostbusters 3] my character's eyesight is shot, I got a bad knee, a bad hip—I can't drive that caddy anymore or lift that Psychotron Accelerator anymore, it's too heavy. We need young legs, new minds—new Ghostbusters; so I'm in essence passing the torch to the new regime, and you know what? That's totally okay with me.

Just the words “Psychotron Accelerator” give me chills. So excited.

Bristol Palin Transitions To Silent Acting In New Music Video

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 11:05 AM PDT

I follow Bristol Palin’s acting career fairly avidly. So it it my duty to report that she will appear in a music video for Alaskan band Static Cycle. Click on the link for a sneak peek. I would embed it, but it’s not working. And, surprise, I am not a technical genius. But then come back and discuss!

So here’s the link: Bristol Palin Music Video Sneak Peek

And here’s a picture of Bristol from the shoot:

OK, you’re back?

Yessssssssss. I cannot WAIT for this to drop. Not least of all because it appears that this video contains my second favorite camera shot of all time: Helicopter shot circling around a man with arms outstretched in a vast outdoor space.

My favorite camera shot, in case you’re wondering, is a good old dog reaction shot.

So, OK. The rose symbolizes Alaska and purity. Bristol, as Mother Nature (that works on two levels, because she’s also a mother herself), is in charge of protecting and caressing the glass case. Oh, wait. Is it an allusion to the rose in Beauty and the Beast? OK, so Bristol is the Beast? And needs to keep the rose intact or else she’ll stay a beast forever? Who is Belle? Static Cycle? Got it. Good. But where the eff is Mrs. Potts?

Via ET Online

Was Breaking Bad Based On This 80s Baseball Player?

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 09:25 AM PDT

I was going back through my old 80s baseball cards yesterday, having just cured cancer, and I came across one that looked awfully familiar – on his 1987 Topps card, Oakland A’s infielder Carney Lansford looks just a bit like Bryan Cranston’s Walter White character on Breaking Bad:

The similarities don’t end there — did you know that Lansford was from the southwest, taught high school science, AND dealt crystal meth? None of those things are true. But according to his baseball card, he’s a “Direct descendant of 16th Century British Admiral Sir Francis Drake.” And according to Wikipedia, that’s not true either.

I’m still sticking to my story — Breaking Bad was definitely based on this guy. Don’t believe me? Click after the jump:

Eh? Ehhhh????? Case closed.
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