Best Week Ever |
- BEST CASTING DECIZH IN HISTORY: Al Pacino to Play Phil Spector
- Cesar Millan Conjures Faintest of Whispers For 2-Inch-Tall Puppy
- GUESS THE CAMELTOE: The World’s First Harem Pant C-Toe
- Shaq, Paris Hilton In Bidding War For World’s Smallest Horse
| BEST CASTING DECIZH IN HISTORY: Al Pacino to Play Phil Spector Posted: 08 Oct 2010 01:39 PM PDT
Let’s be honest here: You could cast Al Pacino in anything and we’d proclaim it to be the best decision in history. But today… we mean it. Because Al Pacino has been cast as none other than crazy-haired-murderer PHIL SPECTOR in an HBO movie written and directed by David “F*ck C*nt Sh*t” Mamet. Sure, Spector brutally killed a woman and is serving life in prison for his actions. But really, we’re just excited about the weeeee-uuhhhhhhggggs. (Wigs.)  |
| Cesar Millan Conjures Faintest of Whispers For 2-Inch-Tall Puppy Posted: 08 Oct 2010 11:50 AM PDT
Here is Cesar Millan, the oh-so-adorable Dog Whisperer, making an appearance on Fox & Friends with a newborn little bulldog. And can you imagine how tiny his whispers are for this little baby?? If Cesar is, what, like 3 feet tall… that means this puppy is about, what, an inch? AN INCH? It’s earholes are the size of tadpoles, and the only whispers it can hear are the sneezes of butterflies. Those of you interested in seeing a newborn little puppy nugget blown up to gigantic computer screened proportions, you’ll want to continue reading…
I mean…. I want to wrap two of them around my head in the wintertime. It’s too much. (Photos via Splash News Online)  |
| GUESS THE CAMELTOE: The World’s First Harem Pant C-Toe Posted: 08 Oct 2010 11:39 AM PDT Someone once told us that if a girl can’t get a solid looking cameltoe, chances are her vagina is ugly. And that someone was the great Jessica Tandy. But I digress. If Jessica’s words are indeed true, then this actress has what might be considered the most beautiful vagina in the world, judging by the breadth and heft of her c-toe. Behold:
I didn’t even know it was humanly possible to GET a cameltoe while wearing harem pants. I thought the whole idea of harem pants was that they were supposed to drape loosely round the pubis so as not to distract. Alas, this actress has taught us that the harem pant camel toe is indeed a thing. A thing we hope to never witness again for the remainder of human existence. Check out the rest of this post to find out who has defied vaginal physics!
Holy giant linen vadge, Batman. How on Earth does she do it?
Also can someone explain to me this latest fashion hipster look of dressing the way I did in 5th grade? Because, believe me, it didn’t work for me then (hi, I’m a comedian), and it doesn’t work for these waifish supermodels now. For God’s sake, look at this woman:
Sienna, we need to talk. Just use a crowbar to get your ladyparts out of the crotch of those slacks and text me.  |
| Shaq, Paris Hilton In Bidding War For World’s Smallest Horse Posted: 08 Oct 2010 09:32 AM PDT
I’ve been mining the interblog caves long enough to recognize a story that requires absolutely no additional commentary to be BWE post-worthy. Everyone, please say hello to this story about Shaquille O’Neal and Paris Hilton both trying to purchase the world’s smallest horse:
What jokes can be added to this? My input would only dilute the sweet, sweet internet-story caramel center. Maybe I can just copy-paste part of it again and pretend like that’s my joke about it? “HOW MUCH I LIKE DAT HORSE,” O’NEAL TWEETED TO SPORTS WRITER KEVIN GRAY. There, I capitalized it. Job done. Best of luck buying the world’s smallest horse, Shaquille O’Neal and Paris Hilton.  |
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