Thursday, October 7, 2010

Crushable

Crushable

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 10:58 AM PDT

Condoms, and olive oil and cheese. Oh my! According to Angelina from The Jersey Shore, she was bullied throughout the taping of MTV’s show in Miami this season, with The Situation and Vinny putting multiple food items and condiments in her bed. Those darned Macaroni Rascals! (UsWeekly)

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Viral Porn Won't Keep Elizabeth Hawkenson From Arizona State Scholarship

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 10:42 AM PDT

And here’s another good reason to be a young, straight woman going to a state school, rather than a gay guy going to a Christian college: Not only does your appearance in an online porn video not get you expelled, but you get to keep your scholarship as well! Hey, we all got to pay the bills.

Elizabeth Hawkenson is an 18-year-old freshman at Arizona State University, who participated in a “reality porn” video (what, are you telling us porn isn’t real??) that went super viral once the kids at 4Chan got wind that Elizabeth flashed her school ID during the shoot. Because it’s 4Chan, the rumors quickly devolved from calling Elizabeth a bunch of dirty names to claiming that her academic scholarship had been revoked. Hey, at least it wasn’t as bad as when gay porn star Paul Donahoe was thrown off his Nebraska school’s wrestling team when they caught wind of his activities, or when 21-year-old John Gechter was immediately expelled from Grove college when some boy-on-boy videos of him surfaced.

But according to Hawkenson, her scholarship wasn’t tarnished by her cameo in Backroom Casting Couch, for which she made herself a cool $2k. Instead, she claims the letter was falsified, and the only thing that was dented in this story was her reputation, not the $30k scholarship. She should be thanking her lucky stars: While we don’t cast judgement on how you make your money, you need to be aware of the consequences when you flash your college ID during a porn shoot. Then again, maybe she can pull a Matt Sanchez and end up a talking head on Fox News because of this controversy. It’s all about the spin, baby.

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Viral Porn Won't Keep Elizabeth Hawkenson From Arizona State Scholarship

Meet Kanye's New Style Muse: 19-Year-Old Cassius Clay

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 10:25 AM PDT

It may not seem like Kanye West’s new all red look has many patrician hipster overtones, but that might be changing over the next few weeks and months. Kanye is now taking style advice from a 19-year-old Yale student with a penchant for crested wingtips and Harry Potter glasses.

IvyGate broke the news on Cassius Clay’s (yes, that’s his real name) involvement with Kanye earlier in September, but considering how inspired Kanye’s style choices have been lately, it seems time we paid some attention.

Kanye credits stylist Rushka Berman for his impressively stark VMAs performance:

But he’s also been working with Clay. According to the New York Post, Clay is helping Kanye restore his damaged image casused by interrupting Taylor Swift at the VMAs last year:

"[Kanye] was e-mailing Cassius saying, 'You are an inspiration to me. I inspire people like Rihanna and Beyoncé and you inspire me. I need you during this difficult time,' " says Alex Klein, a Yale junior who runs in the same circles as Clay.

And now, rather than attending classes in New Haven, the Yale sophomore has been running around New York working with stylists to find new items for the star.

The two first met during a trip to Barney’s. Kayne complimented Clay’s Italian footwear and struck up a conversation. The next day Kanye bought shares in the company and started asking Clay for style advice. Not a bad way to extend your summer vacation.

What sort of influences should we expect from Clay? Probably way more old moneyed aristocratic touches. Maybe Kanye’s gold crown on SNL this weekend came from Cassius? From IvyGate:

“Cassius Marcellus Cornelius Clay [has an] aristocrat, eccentric, old-money, nouveau-style. It's hard to miss him at Yale. At a lanky 6'5″, the baby-faced blonde, pocket-watch user, and cravat-wearer cuts an imposing figure. He's also more ironic than a truckload of Tumblrs. The man dresses like some unholy hipster hybrid of Scott Schuman, a 19th-century robber-baron, and the Shah of Iran. Since Day-One of freshmen year, the bespectacled social-butterfly has been Modern Love-ing and DKE-ing, praising royalism with the fusty Tory Party, and lauding Lady Gaga and libraries in the YDN.”

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Meet Kanye's New Style Muse: 19-Year-Old Cassius Clay

Rich People: 'Entourage' House Up For Sale

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 10:15 AM PDT

For a mere $5.75 million, the house where Vincent Chase swam nude with a be-pubic haired Sasha Grey could be yours! That’s right, the home from the 7th season of Entourage is up for sale. How exciting for Adrian Grenier fans everywhere (paging Joaquin Phoenix).

It’s all too appropriate that the house is located in Encino, an enclave deep in L.A.’s porn-centric San Fernando Valley. The mansion is 9,000-square-feet and billed as a “Tuscan villa.” (Encino: the Tuscany of Southern California.) Unfortunately, it doesn’t come with a Turtle to drive you to power lunches in Beverly Hills.

(via Luxist)

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Rich People: 'Entourage' House Up For Sale

Make Your Own: Snooki Costume

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 09:46 AM PDT

Want to put together that perfect celeb-based costume, but not sure you have all the elements down? Never fear: Crushable’s going to help you take on the best in Hollywood Halloween with our DIY costume kits. First up, check out our guide to creating one of this year’s most in-demand looks: the Snooki.

1. Rhinestone sunglasses

No true Snooki leaves the house without her signature shades. Create your own with a cheap pair of glasses and a bag of fake jewels. Just make sure you can see at least a little bit — because you never know who may have dressed up as Vinny.

2. A tube top and pillows

Planning on stuffing your bra with Kleenex? Think again. To pull off a convincing Snooki, you’ll need to go with some serious padding. Plus, you’ll be all set to go for your post-party nap.

3. Hair poofing mechanism

Everyone knows the key to a good Snooki is a six-inch hair poof. Might we suggest the Bump-It? As seen on TV.

4. Knee pads

If you’re gonna pull off the Smurfy Snooki look, you’ll have to get down on your knees. (Because she’s short… easy, folks.) For a truly authentic Snooki, you’ll need to incorporate a pair of heels over those knee pads. Nobody ever said Halloween was supposed to be comfortable!

6. A (mostly empty) fifth of vodka

This is the best way to make some friends along the way. But don’t give away too much Goose, as you’ll need all the drunken Snooki swagger you can get.

6. A paperback copy of Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John

Show off how much you know about Miss Nicole by carrying the only book she’s ever read. Display it proudly, like you know Snooki would. (Actually reading this book is not necessary.)

There you have it: Snooki in a kit. Have fun and make sure to smush safely.

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Make Your Own: Snooki Costume

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 09:40 AM PDT

Let’s face it: Ryan Reynolds is super cute, even when trapped inside a coffin for the entirety of his latest movie, Buried. So who wouldn’t want a movie poster signed by this hunky star? Crushable is giving one away to a lucky Facebook fan, along with an entire Buried prize pack. Enter before Sunday, October 10 at 5 p.m. EST by clicking here and hitting the “Like” button. And don’t forget to see Buried, which opens nationwide this Friday.

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Fan Fiction: James Franco, Adrian Grenier, and Joaquin Phoenix Have A Party

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 09:19 AM PDT

“Why helloooo there, friends!” A man bustled into one of James Franco’s many gigantic lofts (this one located in the cool part of East-East Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which real estate agents had promised James was so hip and underground, there weren’t even trains in a 20 block radius). The man who entered the apartment was wearing giant glasses with a fake nose attached, a tutu dress, and a shirt that said “Fuck Celebrities.”

“Hello, Adrian Grenier,” said James Franco, sitting naked — save for the Eyes Wide Shut orgy mask he had picked up on his travels — on a hemp rug with his house-guest, actor/visionary Joaquin Phoenix, “Won’t you please come in and join our little party? Now that you are here, we can properly start the process of gratuitous self-congratulation.”

Joaquin Phoenix, barely recognizable and wearing thick shades, with his grown-back bushy beard pillow under his shirt to appear 30 pounds heavier, said nothing.

Adrian Grenier laughed heartily, and took the $3,000 camera he wore around his neck at all times to snap a photo of his two compatriots. “We all look so funny! Look at how not-seriously we take our status as A-list famous people! Did you know that I have made a documentary about how hard it is to be a paparazzo? It is really hard! You have to find famous people and take their pictures, while simultaneously pretending to not be famous yourself. Of course, it isn’t actually that hard, considering how many famous friends I have, such as you, James Franco, and you, Joaquin Phoenix. Actually, I do not see what the big deal is at all.”

James Franco sighed and removed his mask, revealing a face painted up as a Vaudevillian drag queen. “Although tonight is about how clever we all are, and I wouldn’t want to ruin that for anything, I can’t help but recognize a flaw in your plan, Adrian. If you can take pictures of famous people whenever you want, and then enlist your famous friends like Kim Kardashian and Ashton Kutcher to make a fake commercial in which you all complain about the very paparazzi that you claim to be studying, then does that not defeat the purpose of your whole experiment? I only ask because I myself am in the middle of writing three thesis papers and producing one documentary on the subject of celebrities who attempt to transcend their own cultural status and make meaningful work, only to fail completely when people realize that their ‘performance art’ is based entirely on their own inflated ego and sense that people actually give a shit.”

“Ah, layers upon layers, my friend!” said Adrian, helping himself to a copious amount a Concord grapes and brie cheese, which were being served by a young Thai boy who rolled his eyes when Adrian snapped a photo of him and handed him a card saying, “A. Grenier, Paparazzo.”

“What you don’t seem to realize is that I am only ironically casting Ashton and Kim in my faux-mercial, which will only be aired on YouTube because of viral marketing and ‘buzz.’ In truth, we all know that Ashton and Kim are the worst examples of tabloid hounds who crave attention, and thus putting them in something where they pretend they hate attention is…” Adrian paused for dramatic effect, “…ironic.”

“Of course,” Adrian backtracked quickly, for fear that someone may be secretly filming this night for a documentary, or mockumentary, or school project that would get released at Sundance, “Ashton and Kim are implicit on the joke, they participate with tongue fully in cheek, because everything we do must be done with a sly wink to the audience, so they know we are in on the joke of being us. So we are mocking who the public perceives us to be, not who we are. Plus, it’s great exposure.”

James turned to his friend Joaquin, “And what of you, Joaquin? You have been silent almost all tonight. Would you like to regale us with stories of your recent Letterman appearance, when you showed the world that your year-long descent into insanity was only a ruse, meant to act as a mirror to which Hollywood would see itself for the cannibalistic hype machine it really is?”

Joaquin made no response. Tentatively, James pushed one bright red, manicured finger into the belly of his Gladiator-star friend. Joaquin Phoenix toppled over, and a bunch of straw and stuffing fell out.

“How clever! That isn’t Joaquin Phoenix at all, but a scarecrow!” said Adrian, snapping hundreds of pictures of the prone figure from all different angles, “It seems our friend has out-meta-ed us all!”

“Yes,” James Franco said solemnly, “Joaquin Phoenix, wherever he is, is truly the greatest smug shithead of the three of us.”

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Fan Fiction: James Franco, Adrian Grenier, and Joaquin Phoenix Have A Party

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 08:53 AM PDT

Government employee hacks Ali Lohan’s account – A US State Department clerk named Brooke Reyna has been accused of using her access to gather confidential information about more than 100 celebrities. No word yet on whether she’s been selling the info or just passing it along to friends over brunch. (NY Post)

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The Daily WTF: Be Careful, Jared Leto!

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 08:33 AM PDT

Jared Leto the actor, Jared Leto the musician and now Jared Leto the Cirque du Soleil performer? Everyone’s favorite, um, member of 30 Second to Mars ran free on the streets of New York a few nights ago and Terry Richardson was there to capture it all. Be careful, Jared. With Joaquin Phoenix and James Franco around, the performance artist market is pretty darn saturated.

(via Terry’s Diary)

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The Daily WTF: Be Careful, Jared Leto!

Video: Star Wars Musical Overtakes Jurassic Park Musical For Best Thing Ever

Posted: 07 Oct 2010 08:20 AM PDT

Hear us out: We loved the Jurassic Park musical. We watched all 45 minutes of that backyard production, even when it dragged in places and the guy who played Samuel L. Jackson’s character wasn’t even black. BUT when Urlesque found Tatooine, a paper-doll cutout version of the Star Wars saga (original trilogy only, sucka) that’s set to music like some twee Wes Anderson short, we died a little from the cuteness. Marry us, Jeremy Messersmith.

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Video: Star Wars Musical Overtakes Jurassic Park Musical For Best Thing Ever
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