Saturday, April 9, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Man Caught Living In $500,000 House After Just Removing The For Sale Sign

Posted: 08 Apr 2011 02:19 PM PDT

Awww, how can we stay mad at youuuu, guy who toured a $500,000 house with a real estate agent then removed the For Sale sign, broke into the house, and started living there:

Harris allegedly pulled a “for sale” sign from the yard and used it to break a window to get into the Fair Oaks Drive home.

As officers searched the scene using their police dog, Argos, the garage door opened. Police entered the house and found Harris hiding in a bathroom closet.

Police said it appeared that Harris had moved in. There were drinks in the refrigerator and a sleeping bag in the house.

Aww cut him some slack, Argos the police dog! Name ONE thing wrong with just entering a “For Sale” house and starting to live there. You cannot because you’re a dog. Case closed. Mmm, the dog’s nudging a book on “Criminal Trespassing,” as though he’s answering my question. But I think he must smell food on it or something, I’m still not counting this.

To be clear, $500,000 in Murraysville PA could literally buy you a castle, which would be more than enough room to store drinks AND a sleeping bag, without even having to pour the drinks into the sleeping bag. ALRIGHT, fine, on further review this guy was stupid.

TRAILER MIX: The One Where Morgan Freeman Builds A Robot Dolphin

Posted: 08 Apr 2011 01:05 PM PDT

Here’s the trailer for Dolphin Tale, the movie where Morgan Freeman builds a bionic tail to save a dying dolphin along with Ashley Judd, Harry Connick Jr., and grizzled dolphin veteran Kris Kristofferson. My favorite part is when they say “Every aquarium in the country” has given up on the dolphin, like there’s this hardheaded National Aquarium Chief yelling “You’re OFF the case, Morgan Freeman, it’s OVER!” Morgan Freeman’s character is named Morgan Freeman. And the dolphin’s name is Dolph Lundgren. Some of this paragraph’s probably accurate:


I had a hard time sympathizing with the dolphin when this giant death counter was in the background of every shot:

Vince from FilmDrunk has also taken the liberty of GIF-ing the best moment from the trailer, after the jump (it’s almost as seamless as my sign that you probably couldn’t tell was Photoshopped):

Scientists Offer Explanation For World Coming To Stop

Posted: 08 Apr 2011 01:07 PM PDT

Remember the other day when, for no reason whatsoever, every single person on Earth fell to the floor because the world ceased revolving on its axis? Well we’ve finally figured out why that happened:

Pee Wee Herman met Snoop Dogg.

Carry on.

(via Buzzfeed)

Daft Punk Video Of Shirtless Guy Dancing Is Better Than Tron

Posted: 08 Apr 2011 01:25 PM PDT

Full Disclosure: I didn’t see Tron. Mainly because I was deterred by friends who saw it who said “Don’t see Tron.” Now, as a fan of Daft Punk, who composed the Tron soundtrack, I was conflicted about this. But as an equally enthusiastic fan of eleven dollars, I just couldn’t part ways with movie ticket money that could easily feed a family of one (me) for lunch. And so, Tron was immediately put at the bottom of my Netflix queue, a service I do not even subscribe to.

Thankfully, Daft Punk has made up for CGI’d Jeff Bridges by releasing this strange music video for their song “Alive.” The video was directed by actor Emile Hirsch, and is a coming-of-age tale about some skinny dude in Venice, CA looking to gain some muscle weight. The beginning is a little hard to get through, and the middle is even more difficult. But it all pays off in the end, when random hot guy Frankie Levangie takes his shirt off and does some pretty crayzay dance moves. Actually… it’s pretty rere. You might even be mad at me that I’m posting it here. Well, whatever, it’s free, so deal.

(via Brendan Kennedy’s Tumblr)

The 2011 Name Of The Year Bracket Is Here!

Posted: 08 Apr 2011 11:43 AM PDT

Feeling some post-bracket depression with the conclusion of March Sadness and that other, basketball version of March Sadness (March Basketballsness)? Never fear, cause Spartacus Chino, Taco B.M. Monster, and Monsterville Horton IV are here!

It’s time for the 2011 Name Of The Year Bracket, the internet’s greatest March Madness spinoff, where 64 of the most ridiculous real names from 2011 square off to determine which wacky name is the best/worst/bestworst. Once again, they’ve outdone themselves with this year’s field of wacky names (click to enlarge):

Just when you think you’ve found your favorite name, you just look at the next matchup and find another equally impssible one; I really like Monquarius Mungo, Vernon Lee Bad Marriage Jr., and the aforementioned Monsterville Horton (that Dragonwagon Regional looks particularly tough), but if I had to pick a favorite, I’m probably throwing my weight behind Col. Many-Bears Grinder. Though really, I enjoy the name of anyone who’s sacrificed for our country [Many Bears Applaud].

Voting will open at Nameoftheyear.blogspot.com “shortly,” thus rescuing us internet-dwellers from our temporary squalid, bracketless existence for at least another couple weeks.

Name of the Year 2011 – WHO YA GOT?

A Movie About Killer Clowns For People That Hate Killer Clowns

Posted: 08 Apr 2011 11:42 AM PDT

Clown Movies hold a special place in the hearts of millions. That’s because for most people, Clown Movies are the cinematic equivalent of a psychological Holocaust, leaving every happy childhood memory as ashes in its wake. My own fear of clowns stems from a particularly traumatizing circus visit as a youngster, and of course, a single viewing of Killer Clowns From Outer Space when I was 7. I have not been “right” since.

But here’s a Killer Clown Movie I might have to make an exception for. It’s a film from Spain called The Last Circus, from Spanish director Álex de la Iglesia. The trailer gives us the feeling of Amelie meets It, and while no doubt the clown costumes are terrifying, I almost think I could make it through the whole thing.

Wait, on second thought, I could barely make it through 60 seconds. My apologies.

Those wanting to know more about the movie, we’ve posted a plot synopsis ahead (via ONTD).

Film Synopsis:

1937, Spain is in the midst of the brutal Spanish Civil War. A “Happy” circus clown is interrupted mid-performance and forcibly recruited by a militia. Still in his costume, he is handed a machete and led into battle against National soldiers, where he single-handedly massacres an entire platoon. This absurd and disturbing scenario raises the curtain on a twisted tale of love, revenge, and psychopathic clowns that could only spring from the mind of filmmaker Álex de la Iglesia.

Fast forward to 1973, the tail end of the Franco regime. Javier, the son of the clown, dreams of following in his father’s career footsteps but has seen too much tragedy in his life – he’s simply not funny and is only equipped to play the role of the Sad Clown. He finds work in a circus where he befriends an outlandish cast of characters, but as the Sad Clown he must take the abuse of the brutish Happy Clown Sergio, who humiliates Javier daily in the name of entertainment.

It is here that he meets Natalia, a gorgeous acrobat and the abused wife of Sergio. Javier falls deeply in love with Natalia and tries to rescue her from her cruel and violent husband, unleashing Sergio’s jealousy. But Natalia is torn between her affection towards Javier and her lust for Sergio.

With neither man willing to back down, this twisted love triangle evolves into a ferocious battle between Sad Clown and Happy Clown, escalating to unbelievable heights in this absurd, shocking, irreverent, and unforgettable film.

Ed. Note: Found this synopsis at the original source, not sure of the author.
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