Cele|bitchy

Us Weekly: Scarlett Johansson has moved in with Sean Penn
Raccoon McPantless wears something appropriate: cute or still unfortunate?
Goop: ‘I can be 38 & have two kids & wear a bikini b/c I work my f’ing ass off’
Kate Middleton refuses to wear a wedding tiara, wants flowers in her hair
Liv Tyler has a new 24 year-old boyfriend
Mariah Carey’s latest epic, nude tabloid photo shoot: cheesy or awesome?
Michael Shannon on his Superman Zod casting: “I’m on acid!”
Was Lady Gaga coked out of her skull during her Harper’s Bazaar interview?
Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck look happy and content for a change
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes took a tantrumy Suri out for another late night

Us Weekly: Scarlett Johansson has moved in with Sean Penn

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 09:01 AM PDT

Scarlett Johansson is not pregnant, we now know. According to her rep, she's in the best shape of her life. "Best shape of her life" = A charming little mini-pot belly that made everyone scream about her phantom Penn pregnancy. But never mind about those pregnancy rumors, we've got an even better one (not really): according to Us Weekly, ScarJo has officially moved in with Sean. Ugh.

ScarJo and Sean are playing house! Three months into their unexpected romance, Scarlett Johansson has moved in to the $3.8 million Malibu home of Sean Penn, an insider tells the new Us Weekly, out Wednesday.

Relocating from her temporary digs at a West Hollywood hotel, the recently divorced 26-year-old “has essentially moved in over the last few weeks,” the source says. And now that the actress and Penn, 50, share the same roof after months of furtive sightings at hotspots in Hollywood, Mexico and beyond, “they just stay home” whenever they can.

Among their fave homebody activities? Eating in and hanging out with Penn’s kids with ex-wife Robin Wright, who are mere years younger than Johansson: daughter Dylan, 20, and son Hopper, 17.

Plus, the domestic duo love working out (their recent jog fueled pregnancy rumors that proved false), entertaining pals like Owen Wilson and Javier Bardem and more. (Back in February, Us Weekly was first to break news that Johansson had rebounded from her December divorce from Ryan Reynolds with Penn.)

[From Us Weekly]

First: I don't know why the tabloids always force-fed us celebrities' domesticity like we really care if they're sitting around eating yogurt and watching the Real Housewives. Because you know what? Chances are that for celebrities like Sean and Scar, they're not doing that. They're just screwing, all the time, whenever they can. That's why Sean likes her, and Scarlett thinks he's a genius, so she just goes along. In between boning like rabbits, they're probably pretending to read important books. "How is your Heidegger coming, my love?" Sean asks Scarlett. "It's fine, darling. How is your Foucault?"

Also - Um, so what happened to Haiti? I thought Sean Penn had moved to Haiti and he was running all of these clinics and he had to do it all himself because the UN sucks and NGOs suck and none of the people who volunteer for humanitarian aid CARE as much as Sean? You mean that was just a phase Sean went through, and now he's going through a "boning a dumb blonde starlet half his age" phase?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Raccoon McPantless wears something appropriate: cute or still unfortunate?

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 08:43 AM PDT

These are new photos of our beloved Raccoon McPantless at Best Buy yesterday. Raccoon was signing copies of Light Me Up, the album she and The Pretty Reckless have already been promoting and touring with for a while. I have to say, although the girl is wearing a mountain of raccoon makeup, her outfit borders on the appropriate. Like, the dress is pretty and white and it's a nice length and everything. Of course, Raccoon had to pair a pretty dress with fishnets, leather and crazy boots. That's just the way raccoons roll these days.

Anyway, yeah, the album JUST came out earlier this week. Surprisingly, people kind of like it and Raccoon is being accepted as a mainstream, pantless vocalist/songwriter with genuine talent. Entertainment Weekly gave the album a B-, and even Bedhead shamefully admits to listening to it. Ugh - I guess we're over making fun of her? NEVER.

Here's Raccoon singing live - the song is called "Just Tonight".

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Goop: ‘I can be 38 & have two kids & wear a bikini b/c I work my f’ing ass off’

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 08:27 AM PDT

We get it Goop, we’re all eating too much and spending too much time watching you try to sing and pose on the TeeVee now that your movie career has gone to sh*t. You work harder than us, your kids are better clothed and more talented than ours, and you’re skinnier and richer than we are. You hold the keys to our happiness and only you can tell us how to live, eat and shop so that we’ll taste a small fraction of the happiness and success that is your everyday life. Oh Goopy, tell us how to BE you so that we may bask in your hungry sweaty glow.

“The reason that I can be 38 and have two kids and wear a bikini is because I work my [expletive] ass off. It’s not an accident. It’s not luck, it’s not fairy dust, it’s not good genes. It’s killing myself for an hour and a half five days a week, but what I get out of it is relative to what I put into it. That’s what I try to do in all areas of my life.”

[Via PopSugar]

Thank you so much, Ms. Paltrow. Thank you! You must also know how to have a happy marriage, since your husband actually showed up at something you were promoting. Oh and you’re so hip and cool and you’re down with the black people. We admire that too. Show us the way, Goopy, the way to sanctimony and know-it-all, the way to sell, sell sell when you’ve got nothing left but your lifestyle to hawk.

Kaiser e-mailed me this and I must add it. “I’m surprised Gwyneth didn’t say something about her ‘very best dear friend, Gangster Rappers.’”

We don’t have access to a lot of the recent photos of Gwynnie, but you can see them on Popsugar and Lainey Gossip here and here. Her Botoxy face is lighting up the place.

Kate Middleton refuses to wear a wedding tiara, wants flowers in her hair

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 07:57 AM PDT

Finally, an article about something I care about! Us Weekly managed to identify the designer for Kate Middleton's navy suit, the one Waity wore for "her last public appearance as a single woman." As I said, I liked the suit, and now I know it was made by British designer Amanda Wakeley. My only real complaint is that the material (cotton sateen?) wrinkles too easily.

No short skirts and flirty dresses for the future Queen of England. Kate Middleton suited up in a tailored Amanda Wakeley navy number during her Monday outing with Prince William in Blackburn, Lancashire.

“I think she looks fantastic,” designer Wakeley told Grazia magazine of the royal-to-be’s look, which is from a past season. “I love the fact that the color of the suit echoes the deep sapphire of her engagement ring.”

Despite the rainshowers, Middleton, 29, and Prince William, 28, spent the day visiting the Darwen Aldridge Community Academy and Witton Country Park, where they were greeted by crowds of well-wishers. This marked their final public jaunt together before their April 29th wedding day.

Eyes from all around the world will be glued to television sets as the princess-to-be walks down the Westminster Abbey aisle, debuting her much-anticipated bridal gown.

Designer Wakeley is among the million curious to find out which designer is behind the wedding dress of the century. “Whoever is designing it is incredibly lucky,” she added to Grazia.

[From Us Weekly]

Feel better? Just me? Okay then. Anyway, I wanted to use more photos from Kate and William's public outing on Monday because this hair style is how Kate is ALLEGEDLY going to wear her hair for the wedding. HuffPo calls it "half-up, half-down" which doesn't sound like a real "style" but sure. I like her hair like this. But it gets even more exciting! According to The Mail, which is the tabloid with sources deep in the Middleton camp, Waity and Camilla are engaged in a Battle Royale over many of the wedding details, and the latest fight is over Kate's hair and whether or not she's going to wear a tiara. Camilla is apparently "desperate" to force Kate to wear one of the royal tiaras for the wedding, but Kate wants to wear… GASP… flowers in her hair!!!! How quaint!

UPDATE: Oh, Waity was just “confirmed”. She is now officially a member of the Church of England.

By the way, is anyone excited for the exquisite cheesefest of Lifetime's William & Kate movie? It's coming on next Monday, I think, and I cannot wait!

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Liv Tyler has a new 24 year-old boyfriend

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 07:41 AM PDT

I really like Liv Tyler. She seems like a genuine person, like a sweetheart and like she’s fragile. We don’t hear much from her as she’s kept a low profile and she doesn’t have many big ticket movies coming out recently. The one time we’ve seen her at an event recently she looked much thinner and a bit Botoxy, but she’s still gorgeous as usual.

When Tyler split up with her husband, Royston Langdon, in 2008 she called it heartbreaking, said she was lovesick and still mourning, and claimed that she can’t date and “wouldn't be capable of having a casual fling… I’m far too sensitive, and I just wouldn't have any pleasure from it.” So it’s nice to see Liv moving on after all that.

Liv, 33, has been spotted out with a 24 year-old photographer named Theo Wenner, who is the son of the founder of Rolling Stone. She’s been seen with the guy a couple of times so it looks like he’s more than just a friend.

Liv Tyler has sparked rumours she has found love again following her painful divorce by stepping out with her new photographer boyfriend.

The Hollywood actress, 33, split from British rocker Royston Langdon, the father of her six-year-old son Milo, in 2008 after five years of marriage.

She recently revealed the “painful” divorce left her devastated and struggling to rebuild her life again.

Tyler has now proved she is finally moving on after she was spotted enjoying a date with celebrity snapper Theo Wenner, the 24-year-old son of Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner.

They were pictured having lunch together in New York and strolling around Manhattan this week.

A source tells Life & Style magazine, “He’s really young, but they’ve been dating for a while now.”

[From The Toronto Sun]

Good for Liv if she’s moving on and it’s serious. It sounds kind of sad that she’s not able to casually date, but as Kaiser pointed out in another story on Liv it’s not like she’s parading around her flavor of the month in front of her little kid like some other divorced celebrity moms we know.

Liv’s latest movie, Super, costars Rainn Wilson and Ellen Page and is currently out in limited release. She has another film, a thriller calledThe Ledge, coming out next year with Patrick Wilson, Terrence Howard and Charlie Hunnam.

You can see photos of Liv and Theo on Popsugar. He’s really cute!

Update: And Lainey has more on Liv’s new boyfriend and his work. He’s shot a lot of celebrities and seems to have talent.

Liv is shown with her mom, Bebe Buell, on 3/30/11 and at another event on 3/11/11. Credit: Diane Cohen/Fame Pictures

Mariah Carey’s latest epic, nude tabloid photo shoot: cheesy or awesome?

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 07:14 AM PDT

Last week, we got to see Mariah Carey's epic, naked pregnancy photo on the cover of Life & Style. Many criticized Mariah for giving (selling?) the photos of L&S, one of the most budget tabloids, but considering she also gave L&S the exclusive on the babies' genders, I think Mariah probably has an existing relationship with someone at the mag or something. Anyway, this week's gem comes via the British OK! Magazine - even more naked pregnant photos, this time with Nick feeling up his lady. Oh, Mariah. I LOVE YOU.

There are a few excerpts from the OK! Mag piece, and of course it's all Mariah:

Mariah says: "You can tell the personalities a bit. In viewing our ultrasounds, our boy is all ready like Nick, like, 'Here I am, take my picture or don't, and our girl is coyly facing the other way, like, 'No pictures,' waiting for a proper debut. I took some ultrasound footage of them in the womb that I think they'll definitely find interesting later in life."

[From OK! Mag UK via Dlisted]

Look, I know some of you might think these photos are cheesy and gross and weird and creepy and all kinds of wrong, but you know what? It's Mariah, bitches. She wants us to celebrate her love and her babies and her life, and I for one am celebrating. She's magnificent. Budget and magnificent.

Photos courtesy of OK! Magazine UK, Life & Style, and MariahJournal.

Michael Shannon on his Superman Zod casting: “I’m on acid!”

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 07:04 AM PDT

Much to the delight of fanboys (and girls) everywhere, the cast of the Superman reboot is quickly coming together; and since Kaiser mentioned that she’s received some Hot Guy Friday requests for Michael Shannon, his crazy eyes, and the rest of him too, it’s probably not a bad idea to cover this story. It’s also rather refreshing that Shannon, to his very own surprise, has been cast as the villainous General Zod in the upcoming Superman reboot.

The addition of Shannon only adds to the inexplicable amount of Oscar power for what is essentially going to be (arguably) a throwaway comic-book movie. Amy Adams, who shall play Lois Lane, has been nominated thrice (for Junebug, Doubt, and The Fighter); Diane Lane, who’s been cast as Martha Kent, has earned one nomination (for Unfaithful); Kevin Costner has won twice (for his directing work in Dances With Wolves); and Shannon has been nominated once (for Revolutionary Road). So much wasted talent, right? On the other hand, these blockbuster movies carry higher salaries than the indies, so perhaps it’s truly overdue that a superhero movie would hire real talent instead of, you know, Linnocent. As for General Zod himself, Shannon has displayed a rather disarming “Who, me?” approach to being cast in one of the most sought-after roles in Hollywood:

Michael Shannon, who was cast as villain Zod in director Zack Snyder’s upcoming Superman reboot, still can't get over the fact that he is now a part of the franchise.
“This ‘Superman’ thing is ridiculous. It just came out of nowhere,” he said during an appearance at RiverRun International Film Festival in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, notes MTV.com. “I was talking to my agent … she’s like, ‘How about ‘Superman’? I’m like, ‘What?” The idea that I would ever be in ‘Superman’! I’m like, ‘Are you serious?’ ”

When he met Snyder, Shannon said he was “seriously sitting there and he’s telling me, ‘You can’t read the script, so I’m just gonna tell you what happens.’ And he spent a half hour telling me every scene in this movie. He’s at his home in Pasadena and I’m looking out — there’s the Rose Bowl, there’s little hummingbirds flying around. I’m like, ‘I’m on acid!’ ”

Snyder eventually decided Shannon was perfect fit. To convince others, he had Shannon and Henry Cavill (who plays Superman) do a reading together. “They said, ‘You have to come back because we want to see if you and Superman have chemistry,’” Shannon recalled.

He got the part a month after their reading.

His thoughts of Cavill as Superman?

Said Shannon, “I think this guy will be all right.”

[From Hollywood Reporter]

Here’s a video clip of the same interview, and I was immediately struck by how different his real-life voice is from the character that he played in Revolutionary Road, and I love that he was genuinely shocked to even be considered for the Zod role. Now, we just have to wait and see if Zack Snyder puts all of this talent to good use or just turns it into another one of his CGI circles of hell.

Photos are from 2011 and 2010, except for the shaggy haired one, that’s from 2009. Credit: WENN and Fame

Was Lady Gaga coked out of her skull during her Harper’s Bazaar interview?

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 06:49 AM PDT

Lady Gaga covers the May issue of Harper's Bazaar, and the bizarre photo shoot was done by Terry Richardson, if you couldn't have guessed. Gaga is wearing those cheek things again - they kind of gross me out. As for the interview… uh… Gaga is coked out of her mind during the interview. Seriously, read it here. I'll just do the highlights:

The conversation about her "spiny" prosthetics:

How long does it take to apply the makeup and prosthetics to her face and arms?

“Well, first of all,” she says, “they’re not prosthetics. They’re my bones.”

Okay, so when did the bones appear?

“They’ve always been inside of me, but I have been waiting for the right time to reveal to the universe who I truly am.”

Did she will them to come out for this album?

“They come out when I’m inspired.”

Is she worried that this new look will inspire other people to “grow” similar bones?

“We all have these bones!” she says tersely. “They’re the light from inside of us. Do you mean body modification?”

On being Born This Way: “It’s a performance-art piece. I have never, ever encouraged my fans or anyone to harm themselves, nor do I romanticize masochism. Body modification is part of the overarching analysis of ‘Born This Way.’ In the video, we use Rico, who is tattooed head to toe [including a skull on his face]. He was born that way. Although he wasn’t born with tattoos, it was his ultimate destiny to become the man he is today.”

On plastic surgery: “I have never had plastic surgery, and there are many pop singers who have. I think that promoting insecurity in the form of plastic surgery is infinitely more harmful than an artistic expression related to body modification. And how many models and actresses do you see on magazine covers who have brand-new faces and have had plastic surgery, while I myself have never had any plastic surgery? I am an artist, and I have the ability and the free will to choose the way the world will envision me.”

On assimilation: “I had all these No. 1 records, and I had sold all these albums, and it was sort of this turning point: Am I going to try and embrace Hollywood and assimilate to that culture? I put my toe in that water, and it was a Kegel-exercise vaginal reaction where I clenched and had to retract immediately. I ran furiously back to New York, to my old apartment, and I hung out with my friends, and I went to the same bars.”

On being seen as promoting plastic surgery? “Trust me, I know that. I think a lot of people love to convolute what everyone else does in order to disempower women. But my fans know me. They would never hurt themselves. And if they have hurt themselves, they come to me and say, ‘Gaga, I want to stop, and your music helps me want to stop. Your music makes me want to love myself.’ I am in no way promoting sadomasochism or masochism.”

She thinks that after Alexander McQueen's suicide, he began working through her: “I think he planned the whole thing: Right after he died, I wrote ‘Born This Way.’ I think he’s up in heaven with fashion strings in his hands, marionetting away, planning this whole thing.” Supporting Gaga’s claim was the decision by the label–not Gaga herself–to move up the release date for “Born This Way,” ultimately to the exact day of the one-year anniversary of McQueen’s death. “When I heard that, I knew he planned the whole damn thing. I didn’t even write the f-cking song. He did!”

She’s happy to respond to recent claims: “I’m not engaged, and I’m not a drug addict, but thank you for asking.”

She's delusional: “I’ve always wanted to be an adjective,” she says with a smile. But she adds, “Back then, I was just delusional. I’m going to make a T-shirt that says, I’M NOT A PROPHET, I’M DELUSIONAL.”

Her motto: “You can quote me on this: People love you when they think you won’t be around for very long, and people hate you when they can’t get rid of you. But I’m not going anywhere.”

[From Harper's Bazaar]

The part about McQueen was just… wrong. Beyond that… I just don't even know where to start with this one, so instead I'll tell you a story about my mom. My mom has convinced herself that her favorite cat, Charlie, is gay. Charlie is a sweet kitty - he's beautiful too, all fluffy white fur with a few grey patches. He has sweet little weepy eyes and he sleeps with my mom every night, and the other cats beat him up. My mom said, "He can't help it, I made him this way." I replied, "No, mom. As Gaga would say, Charlie was Born This Way."

Photos courtesy of Harper's Bazzar.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck look happy and content for a change

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 06:25 AM PDT

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were photographed out together, supposedly looking for a school for one or both of their daughters, and they looked pretty happy and content for once. They often seem disconnected and upset in candids, but I think their mood is usually a reaction to the paparazzi that hound them and isn’t necessarily a reflection on their relationship. Kaiser isn’t a fan of Garner, and I understand that criticism that Lainey and Kaiser lob at her - that she’s shuttling her kids out to promote stuff, that she’s arranging photo ops. I don’t agree with that take on her, and I’ve seen video of the paparazzi absolutely swarming her when she’s out with her kids. I think that Garner and Affleck live a predictable life, that they’re followed everywhere and and that they deal with it the best they can. The worst that Ben has done is flip the bird a few times and scowl, which is completely understandable and a pretty mild response to what he goes through daily.

These two don’t even have a bodyguard (Kate Gosselin has one for God’s sake) and while Garner has admitted to having a nanny she isn’t usually seen out with a lot of helpers. I like them, I can’t help it. They don’t seem to think they’re regal, they do live the high life but they don’t seem to flaunt it or overextend like Ben’s ex J.Lo and her diminutive control freak husband. I’m rooting for them, but frankly I’m surprised they’ve lasted as long as they have. I had to say something negative and there it is. I’ve seen a lot of friends split up and marriage is a tough prospect for anyone, particularly two people in the spotlight with such different schedules. We’ve heard a lot of stories about trouble in their relationship, and this blind item may point to them. It’s got to suck when your movie bombs too, although Garner wasn’t the main headliner on Arthur.

Last week Garner dished on her sex scenes with Russell Brand in Arthur. She said “I’m very familiar, in my own way, with the anatomy of Russell Brand — and it’s good.” He was wearing underwear, though, or she may have needed some antibiotics to stop that familiarity from itching.

Photo credit: Fame

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes took a tantrumy Suri out for another late night

Posted: 13 Apr 2011 06:04 AM PDT

I think Tom Cruise has finally finished filming Mission Impossible IV: Ghost Protocol, and he and Katie Holmes have finally been reunited, at long last. These are new photos of Tom, Katie and Suri out and about in NYC yesterday. Tom put on his favorite high heels and posed his ass off all day and night - seriously, they got pap'd like five different times, at five different locations.

The photos of Katie and Tom with Suri - who is making faces at the paparazzi - are from their exit of a theatre where they had just taken Suri to see American Idiot, that Broadway show with music from Green Day. Because Suri likes nothing better than spending her New York nights taking in Broadway shows and accompanying her mom to late-night dinners of Gummi penises and "c-ckblockers". Why not just let the kid get a good night's sleep?

Earlier yesterday, Katie taped the Top Ten list for David Letterman: