Crushable |
- I Stalked My Middle School Crush
- Brandi Glanville Accused Taylor Armstrong Of Exploiting Russell’s Death At The RHOBH Reunion (Part 2)
- Open Letter To Ewan McGregor: We’re Soulmates In Case You Were Wondering
- Gossip Girl Power Ranking: ‘The Backup Dan’
- The 150 Oscar Nominees Took A Group Photo And No One Blinked
- Is Gisele On Her Way To Becoming The Yoko Of The Sports’ World?
- Gallery: Rachel McAdams’ Best Red Carpet Looks
- So M.I.A Was Flipping Her Middle Finger At Her Son
- Book Excerpt: The Bachelor
- 5 Things We Love About The New The Amazing Spider-Man Trailer
| I Stalked My Middle School Crush Posted: 07 Feb 2012 10:08 AM PST When I was in middle school, the boys I liked had no idea I existed. They were tall, manly eighth graders while I was a weird, platinum blonde sixth grader. Since I didn't know how to flirt with boys (which would have also required me to know how to talk to boys), the only way to get my crush to notice me was to stalk him. The first boy I had a crush on in middle school was named Skyler (name has not been changed). He was extremely tall, played baseball and had a tan. He was the perfect fantasy crush. I stood outside one of my classrooms EVERY DAY because I knew exactly what time he would walk by. I would have my friends stand with me and laugh really loud and tell me how funny I was. Little did I know, middle school boys aren't attracted to humor. Maybe if I had asked my friends to say how good I was at giving hand jobs behind the portables, he would have noticed me. But since he didn't, I had to resort to other methods. Because I read tons of Encyclopedia Brown and Nancy Drew in fifth grade, I knew how to sleuth. I found out Skyler's mom's name from my mom who volunteered with her, and then I typed her name into the property appraiser website to find out Skyler's address. I know I could have just looked them up in the phone book, but that wouldn't have told me how much their house is worth or how many bathrooms they have. The next day (and every day after that), I had my mom drive me past his house telling her I just liked going on drives with her after school so we could talk like the Gilmore Girls (I knew mentioning Gilmore Girls would set off her "I want to be BFF with my daughter" weakness, and she would do whatever I wanted). You can probably figure out that driving past a boy's house over and over also didn't get him to notice me because for that to happen he would have had to put down the video games and come outside right when I was driving by. I had to get sneakier. My friends helped me out and found out that Skyler had a crush on a SEVENTH GRADER named Jenna (not changing the names, guys). So, while I was sleeping over at a friend's house, my friend and I made up a fake instant messenger screen name and messaged Skyler pretending to be Jenna. It took him about an hour to figure out we were fakes. He wasn't the smartest guy, probably not even close to average, but he was SO TALL, so I didn't care. After he told us that stupid Jenna was "the one" (still without knowing who he was actually talking too), I decided to tell him who I was. And then he broke my middle school heart. He did know who I was after all. He told me I was "the tall ogre that stands in the hallways with your stupid friends waiting for me to walk by." Excuse Me? For starters, I was 5'7, which is tall for a middle school girl, but I thought that made me model-like. Second, my friends were not stupid, Skyler. We were in honors classes, and you were not. It also took you an hour to figure out that I wasn't the girl you were crushing on over instant messenger (the screen name BlondeGirl12 is SO convincing). After crying for about a week and listening to my Britney Spears heartbreak soundtrack, including "From the Bottom of My Broken Heart" and "Dear Diary", I gave up on Skyler. I still saw him in the hallways sometimes, and this was before I had a cell phone so I couldn't just pretend to text to avoid eye contact, so I just looked at the ground. Then, during the summer before seventh grade, I learned that Skyler was moving away. He moved to a small town in Georgia probably to be closer to hunting grounds and people who refuse to drive anything but a monster truck. So by the time I entered seventh grade, I was able to concentrate all of my stalking on my new crush Curtis, who walked past my classroom everyday before lunch. This essay was submitted by Crushable reader Jessica Zaleski. You can follow her on Twitter @Jesszalesk. Related posts: Post from: Crushable  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Posted: 07 Feb 2012 09:43 AM PST
When Brandi first hinted a few weeks ago at what goes down at the reunion, she only touched upon the Taylor stuff briefly. She confirmed to LynnNChicago that the two did have a disagreement: “She asked me a question, and then didn't like my answer.” It’s likely she was talking about what happened when host Andy Cohen asked Brandi about her problems with Taylor. We know that earlier in the season, Taylor was furious with Camille Grammer for talking about the abuse on-camera; she was terrified that Russell would use that to hurt her and their daughter Kennedy. Earlier in the season, Russell sent Camille a threatening e-mail promising legal action if she talked about their marital problems. However, in response to Andy’s question, Brandi revealed that she’d run into Russell, who told her that Taylor ordered him to threaten Camille. Taylor immediately threw it back on Brandi, pointing out that she’d slit ex-husband Eddie Cibrian‘s tires. You gotta hand it to Brandi, she easily admitted doing it but added that it was an impulsive gesture and she told him before he could ride the motorbike and potentially hurt himself. But things got ugly when Brandi started snarking on Taylor about her book Hiding from Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within—which is out today.
Then Kyle decided to butt in and act all sanctimonious, even though — and I never thought I’d say this — Brandi’s reasoning sounds the most sensitive.
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| Open Letter To Ewan McGregor: We’re Soulmates In Case You Were Wondering Posted: 07 Feb 2012 09:30 AM PST
First of all, I’d like to point out that I know you’re a happily married man with four daughters. I’m aware that this may stand in the way of our life together, but I’d also like to point out that Spencer Tracy was married the entire time he was with Katharine Hepburn, so sometimes love can be a bit complicated. But I love complicated, I live complicated, I’ll even get the word ‘complicated’ tattooed on my arm as a permanent sign of devotion to you and our future together. I know we’ve never met and my crush on you is based on your roles in movies, and according to my friends and family, movies are not real, but I don’t think that means we don’t have a shot at something great. Do you know how many times I’ve watched Beginners in the last three months? I don’t either, but I’m sure it’s more than 25. I bet you like cake, right? Well, I like cake too! Wait, you like frosting on your cake, right? Come on, I know you must! Because you’re not going to believe this, but I like, actually I take that back, I love frosting on my cake, too! How funny is that? It’s not often you find people who like cake and frosting. It’s like finding a pearl in a vast desolate ocean that, to be honest, is what my life is like without you. Although as a New Yorker I have an automatic aversion to Los Angeles, I want you to know I’ll move there to be closer to you. I just renewed my driver’s license, so I could re-learn how to drive and within a few months, I’ll be able to tackle those freeways like an expert. Granted, I don’t expect to do much driving, since we’ll be living together and therefore, I won’t have a reason to stray too far, but if you’re on the set one day I can come visit. I will bring snacks. Ewan, let’s just get straight to the heart of things, shall we? I have loved you since Trainspotting. I not only saw it in the movie theater with my boyfriend at the time — who doesn’t hold a candle to you, so no worries there — but all of junior year in college I had a poster of you from the movie on my wall right above my bed. Every night I’d softly coo “goodnight Ewan,” and although you were just made of paper, I knew that somewhere in the world you were feeling my embrace of love through the air, because love travels through the air, of course. Did I mention that besides the French accent, the Scottish accent is the only one I really love? Well, it is. Which brings me to your voice and laugh, do you know how adorable they are and how adorable my voice and laugh are, too? Just some more further proof over which you can ponder as to why we’re a match made in heaven. Sure, I might be slightly unhinged and a blogger who hides away from most of the world in my one-bedroom flat, and maybe I’m not the tallest or skinniest of ladies, but when it comes to connection, real connection, and what unites us, my looks have nothing to do with it. All that matters at the end of the day, Ewan, is your looks and those insanely beautiful blue eyes. I have blue eyes by the way, too. I feel I should wrap things up at this point. I don’t want to come on too strong, and since I plan on sending you a letter everyday until I hear back from you, I’ll have plenty of time to cover all the other ways in which we are so obviously soulmates. You’ll come around to it; I know you will. Sometimes things are plain as day, but it just takes a year full of letters to prove it so. Yours, Amanda Related posts: Post from: Crushable  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Gossip Girl Power Ranking: ‘The Backup Dan’ Posted: 07 Feb 2012 08:46 AM PST This episode could be reduced to a few simple questions like, "Where's Blair?" Or, "Have you seen Blair?" Or, "If you don't tell me where Blair is, I'll do something terrible to you." Other than that, nothing happened. Nothing. When the reruns air, I'd change this episode's title to: "Dan and Blair Sit Around in an Airport and then a Hotel While Other People Wonder Where They Are." See, you read that and you don't even need to watch. I just saved America 42 minutes. I hope that time's used well. With that in mind, here's this week's power ranking for 5×14:
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| The 150 Oscar Nominees Took A Group Photo And No One Blinked Posted: 07 Feb 2012 08:40 AM PST Yesterday was the annual Oscars Luncheon; an opportunity to eat wonderful food while sizing up your competition in a professional and jovial environment. While we were not invited this year we can only imagine it’s full of polite conversation, golf claps and a few over inflated egos. While I didn’t spot that attention whoring dog from The Artist in any of the photos, I can only imagine he was there demanding all kinds of organic low-fat dog food flown in from the French countryside. At some point during the festivities, they all gathered together for a group photo. Or as I would call it, the power Facebook upload. Throw that thing causally on your wall and you’re basically guaranteed a few likes. However, just because they’re multi-millionaire Oscar nominees doesn’t mean they’ve figured out how to take a group photo. Sure no one blinked, but it looks like a classic case of “what camera should I be smiling at now?” Some people are looking to the left, others are looking to the right and others are looking straight ahead. Celebrities have difficulty taking group photos. They ARE just like us! Click here to see the larger version and play a fun game of “where in the photo are the actual celebs?” Related posts: Post from: Crushable  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Is Gisele On Her Way To Becoming The Yoko Of The Sports’ World? Posted: 07 Feb 2012 08:14 AM PST
Just as Yoko did before her, Gisele is stepping in between Tom Brady and his teammates after the Patriots lost to the NY Giants this past weekend. Shortly after the game ended, Gisele was caught on tape saying:
Of course the “they” in this situation would be Brady’s teammates who, of course, were “disappointed” in her comments and passing of blame. TMZ says sources within the Patriots organization are claiming Gisele “violated a code of brotherhood,” by making the unnecessary statements. It had been just days before that Gisele sent out an email to friends and family of the couple asking everyone to “pray” for Brady and his teammates so they could win the Super Bowl — a lot of good that email did. Although you have to hand it to Gisele for standing by her man, she’s not really handling herself the right way. Sure it’s great to reassure your husband that “You played the best game of your life … you were amazing,” but to shit on the other players who worked just as hard is a low blow, especially to a bunch of guys who are already feeling the pangs of defeat. So Gisele, you may want to take a look at what you’re possibly doing to your husband’s career. No wants to see Tom booted from the Patriots and you don’t want to have your name replaced in the phrase “pulling a Yoko.” No offense, but “pulling a Gisele,” just doesn’t have the same ring. (photo: Getty) Related posts: Post from: Crushable  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Gallery: Rachel McAdams’ Best Red Carpet Looks Posted: 07 Feb 2012 08:07 AM PST Post from: Crushable  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| So M.I.A Was Flipping Her Middle Finger At Her Son Posted: 07 Feb 2012 07:46 AM PST Ever since M.I.A channeled her inner middle school tween and flipped her middle finger at the Super Bowl halftime show, the world’s turned upside down. Not only did millions of innocent children learn the meaning of the middle finger, but the Parents Television Council typed their middles fingers off letting the world know that they would not sleep until justice was served and/or their children spontaneously combusted from seeing a gay couple kiss on TV. Now, just when we thought the apocalyptic fallout was over, we get word that M.I.A’s splitting up with her fiance and the father of her son, Benjamin Bronfman. Apparently M.I.A’s not only a threat to our children, but also her own child. While she’s off shooting paper planes and creating Sri Lankan drama in her native London, her now ex-fiance Bronfman’s been raising her toddler son Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman in New York City without her. An anonymous source claims that M.I.A sometimes goes 6 weeks without seeing her son. While I fully support working mothers, I also fully support good mothers. Mothers who drop in and see their children at least once a month. Part of M.I.A’s possible reasoning for never seeing her son might be the fact she can’t get into the country.
Then again, after reading that it seems like M.I.A’s priorities might be throwing an awesome wedding over getting a green card so she can enter the country to see her child. I’m a woman and I’m on Pinterest, so naturally I’m all for nice weddings. But I’m also for being a good mother. She doesn’t have to give up her career, but it would be nice if she sacrificed one-of-a-kind wedding centerpieces to watch her one-of-a-kind child grow up. So in conclusion M.I.A managed to get her paperwork together for the Super Bowl, but not for her son. It’s safe to say that her middle finger was meant for him.
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| Posted: 07 Feb 2012 07:44 AM PST
The Bachelor by J.D. Ruiz was inspired by the popular reality TV show of the same name, where dozens of contestants compete to win the affections of one highly eligible guy. One competition, one man, twenty-five women, and a bet. Zachary Astor wanted to be the Bachelor for one purpose alone: to prove to his friends that he can ditch twenty-five women without ever looking back at any of them. But will he be able to keep his word when he meets Julianne Grey, the only woman who seems to regret being in the competition? Despite what he thinks, Zachary will find his thoughts preoccupied by the weird, silent, and mysterious girl he keeps giving a rose to, much to his own amazement and her disappointment. It all started with a bet. "I'm serious man, if you ditch twenty-five women, I will believe everything you said," Liam uttered, looking his friend in the eyes. "You're telling me love is trash, right?" "Exactly," Zach nodded, tipping his bottle of beer towards his friend. "And that's why I'm going to take your bet seriously." Liam raised his eyebrows. "You are?" "You bet I will," he said proudly. "Okay, you don't believe me?" he straightened on his chair, but before he turned his full attention back on the topic, he winked at the blonde lady sitting just three stools away from them. "Okay, you don't believe me?" he repeated, turning his head back towards his friend. "Sort of," Liam answered, more like provoking him than doubting his words though. He leaned closer, his head bent. "I'm going to prove to you that I can ditch women without glancing back at any of them. And I'm going to do that on national television," he grinned at his friend's appalled look. "What do you mean?" "I'm going to be the next Bachelor," he pointed at the television screen at the bar. "Hell, I'll embarrass myself—and probably lose a few gals for it—just to prove to you, that I, Zachary Astor, can ditch twenty-five women." "You're not really kidding, are you?" Liam seemed to have finally realized that he was not fooling around. "Of course I'm not. In fact, I will set the rules myself," he grinned wickedly and counted with his fingers, "There will be twenty-five women in that damn competition, right?" his friend nodded and he continued, "I will not choose anyone by the end of the season—not one—and I will not go after any of the girls after the show ends." He looked at his friend straight in the eye to show how serious he was. "You hear me? I'm going to ditch those women and I will not meet one of them after I'm done. And you know how hot the women who join, right?" "I don't know man, I think you're going to lose this one," Liam said after a while. "Why?" "Because you might just meet The One?" "Oh, come on, that's why I'm doing this, right? To prove to you that there is no The One," he smiled and gulped down his beer and when he saw his friend's doubtful look, he sighed and took his phone from the back of his jeans pocket. "See this? I'm going to call some people." "Okay, I was just joking around, man. You don't have to be serious—" He held up one finger to silence his friend, placing his phone against his ear. "Yes, Jeffrey, this is Zach Astor, yes, yes, I'm fine. So, I'm wondering if you have any idea about who the next Bachelor is. Yes, I'm talking about the show…" he winked at his gaping friend as the man on the other end answered his questions. Just for suspense, he stood up and walked away for a few moments, talking with Jeffrey. He was grinning from ear to ear when he came back and sat back on his stool. He held his beer to his mouth, as his friend asked, "Well?" "My friend, I will be the next Bachelor. And I'm going to ditch twenty-five women." Click here to read all of The Bachelor on Wattpad. Post from: Crushable  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 Things We Love About The New The Amazing Spider-Man Trailer Posted: 07 Feb 2012 06:55 AM PST The newest trailer for Spider-Man reboot The Amazing Spider-Man is out! While we knew that this would revitalize the series and tell a vastly different origin story from the Sam Raimi films starring Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst, I don’t think we quite realized how many new threads it would pick up. This trailer bears multiple rewatches, but here are our knee-jerk reactions of what has us psyched for the July 3rd release date. 1. Gwen Stacy knows what’s up. This is my theory, at least, from a few key shots in the trailer—it seems like Gwen (Emma Stone) is fully aware of Peter Parker’s (Andrew Garfield) secret double life as Spider-Man. There’s a scene where she says, “That’s not your job,” ostensibly in response to Peter needing to stop the Lizard (Rhys Ifans). While that could be pulled from another scene, it seems too serious to be about anything but Manhattan’s safety. The original films drew out the “does Mary Jane know?” question for far too long. 2. Peter’s parents had a reason to leave. But how do we get to the lizard? Because Peter is investigating his parents’ disappearance, of course. The first Raimi film just took it for granted that Mama and Papa Parker had dumped Peter with his aunt and uncle, but this movie has a whole mystery built in. Turns out Peter’s dad was working on something with Dr. Connors. 3. Spider-Man is really snappy. Andrew’s Spidey tosses off snarky retorts like “You seriously think I’m a cop, in a skintight red-and-blue suit?”, the kind of self-awareness that the Tobey Maguire films lacked. Somehow the lines just roll off his tongue—perhaps because this is the kid who dressed up as Spider-Man to infiltrate a Comic-Con panel. 4. The police angle. I feel like the whole “Spider-Man vs. the police” angle wasn’t really explored in the Raimi films. Here, with Denis Leary as Gwen Stacy’s dad and the chief of police, it’s clear that he’s going to pose a major obstacle to letting Peter save crime at all. 5. He gets unmasked! It’s no secret that my favorite part of the original Spider-Man movies was when Peter gets unmasked in Spider-Man 2. (Try to watch the “he’s only a kid” scene and not cry, I dare you.) And here in the trailer, we see a fight scene where his mask gets ripped off. It’s difficult to tell if Andrew’s Peter gets his mask ripped off by Dr. Connors or the NYPD, but I cannot wait for that reveal. Related posts: Post from: Crushable  |
Even though there have been flare-ups and heated (albeit brief) arguments during the first two parts of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, it seems like Bravo is saving the juicy details for part 3 next Monday. Next week we’re going to hear all the gory details of how Russell Armstrong abused his wife Taylor Armstrong, but this week we got to see Brandi Glanville give Taylor a piece of her mind about how she’s been treating Russell’s suicide in the media.
Dearest Ewan:
Who broke up the Beatles? Well, some will tell you it was John Lennon‘s then-wife Yoko Ono while others will blame creative differences. No matter what team you’re on, Yoko’s impact on not just Lennon, but the Beatles was obvious and hard to ignore. Sometimes a man in love has a hard time separating his heart from his work.
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