Cele|bitchy

Did Johnny Depp get some “work” done, or did he just lose some weight?
Kate Gosselin’s Kentucky Derby style: hooker-wear or just horrible?
Katie Holmes looks kind of pregnant, but seems totally over it
Kim Kardashian’s clown-butt style: awkward or cute?
Linnocent refuses to be indoctrinated by the Church of Scientology
Penelope Cruz’s freckly June Vogue cover preview: gorgeous or meh?

Did Johnny Depp get some “work” done, or did he just lose some weight?

Posted: 08 May 2011 07:44 AM PDT

Remember how Johnny Depp looked like hell for more than a year? Something was going on with him, like he just gained some weight and it all went to his face, plus some bad facial hair and a bad haircut… all of it conspired to make him look pretty bad. He looked kind of rough in The Tourist (but I didn't think he looked as hideous as some of you thought), and then he looked pretty rough for The Tourist's promotional duties. Well, that Johnny is gone, and he's been replaced by a newer, sleeker, more chiseled Johnny. These are some photos from last night's premiere (at Disneyland) of Pirates of Caribbean 4. Johnny wore some kind of Cowboy Lite ensemble, and he showed off his slimmer face. If it was anyone else, I would say he might have gotten some work done. Because it's Johnny, I suspect it's just a diet or something like that. Perhaps he's taken up smoking again to suppress his appetite.

What does Keith Richards think of Johnny's new look?

For some reason, Penelope Cruz decided to deck herself out in a full-length evening gown for the premiere - once again, it was at Disneyland. She's usually not this much of an over-dresser, but maybe she just felt like wearing something big and feathered for one of her rare nights out after having a baby. I would have liked the dress if it was for an awards show or something, although the boob-feathers are a little bit overkill for any occasion. The only thing I can really complain about is the bangs trauma. I hate too-short bangs on adult women. And Penelope doesn't need them - she gorgeous (and freckled) without the bangs.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Kate Gosselin’s Kentucky Derby style: hooker-wear or just horrible?

Posted: 08 May 2011 07:18 AM PDT

The Kentucky Derby was held this weekend, and that only means one thing: Americans trying to pull off British-style funky hats. In case you actually care about the race, go here to People Magazine to hear about the winner, Animal Kingdom, and his jockey John Velazquez. Apparently, people were rooting for Pants on Fire and his female jockey, Rosie Napravnik. All of this means nothing to me, because I am so overcome with revulsion at the sight of Kate Gosselin's hideous hat. Some people just can't pull off a hat - I am one of them. First of all, my head is too big for traditionally sized ladies' hats. Second of all, I never go any place where I would need to wear a hat. Third of all, I dislike hats. Kate Gosselin thinks she's a hat person, however. And what she ended up looking like is a day hooker in a budget lampshade. As for the dress… um, lace details AND horizontal stripes?!?

Other celebrities at the Derby… Kate Walsh, who was probably the most successful hat-wearer at the event. I think she looks very chic.

Paula Patton is Exhibit A in "Why Not Every Beautiful Woman Looks Good In A Hat".

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Manillawhatever. Nick looks nice and appropriate. Vanessa looks like she was at a club and someone drunkenly jammed a novelty hat on her head.

Christopher Meloni and his wife. Meloni looks like a bodyguard. His wife looks… appropriate, I guess.

Ian Somerhalder decided he wasn't going to let the ladies have all of the fug hat fun! Behold, Ian and his chapeau.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Katie Holmes looks kind of pregnant, but seems totally over it

Posted: 08 May 2011 06:47 AM PDT

These are some new photos of Katie Holmes looking kind of haggard and bumpy. Note the close-up on Katie's little stomach bump - the photo agency is trying to make it into a "Is she pregnant?" thing. I've been wrong so many times about Katie's bump, and at this point, I think she's just got a little belly and bad posture - her slump emphasizes the tiny amount of extra weight she carries in her abdomen. It's not a crime, and I do have a little bit of sympathy for her because people are always yelling about how she's pregnant whenever she wears anything that shows off her stomach.

Still, there are questions as to whether Katie will ever have another baby. A few years ago, I would have said "Of course she will." I thought Katie was like a royal bride - and her contractual obligations were for an heir and a spare. Of course, I would have had questions about the conception, which in mind would involve electrodes, tequila, several tin can audits, a turkey baster and the soundtrack to Rosemary's Baby. But I thought it would happen, at some point. Now I'm wondering if Katie even cares about the contract. In an interview from a few days ago, she seemed to hint at the idea that she's totally over the idea of getting pregnant again. She said:

"[Connor and Isabella] are great kids, a great brother and a great sister to Suri, and she’s a great sister to them. It’s not, “This is stepmotherhood and this is motherhood”. I’m not worried about it (having another baby). She’s got really good friends and great cousins, so I feel happy about it. We have a really busy household, and it’s really fun and fulfilling. There’s always something going on."

[From The Times via The Mail]

It sounds like she's over it, right? Yeah. I have to admit, that's cool with me. I know some people get judgy about only children (although it's clear that Katie considers Isabella and Connor full siblings to Suri). But I'm an only child, and I identify with Suri a little bit. That's the thing about only children - even when we're little kids, we're way more comfortable with adults. And it's fine. Suri will be okay (no she won't, she's a hot mess, but whatever).

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Kim Kardashian’s clown-butt style: awkward or cute?

Posted: 08 May 2011 06:07 AM PDT

These are some newish photos of Kim Kardashian at her fragrance launch in Las Vegas. Her perfume is called "Gold". Because…? Because "Gold-plated, cat-faced, clown-butted wax figure" was already taken…? Eh. I shouldn't be so harsh - Kim's kat-face is looking better in these photos. The kat-face looks… deflated. Less waxy. Like it might move a little bit.

But what's with the awkward stance? At first I thought it was just the angle of the photos, but she looks like this in every photo, taken in different angles. It's like she's gained some weight and she isn't sure how to carry herself in this unflattering clown-butt skirt (the design ADDS weight to her lower half). Speaking of Kim being a size four, Kim was talking about her size four cellulite again. In a recent interview, Kim said, "Of course, I struggle with insecure moments. I wish I didn't but I love to eat, especially sweets. And I'll say it, I think my thighs are jiggly and I have cellulite. Now let's move on! Because when I put the time in at the gym, I'm confident. You have to feel good to look good. On days when I need extra motivation, I just think, Bikini, bikini, bikini. Everyone has the power to make good decisions, whether it’s about your career or fitness routine. As long as you stay dedicated to something, you’ll see a change. If you’re committed, you can do anything." Sure. And when all else fails, simply lie about your size. Great messaging!

Last thing: can I just how weird it is to me that at this point in celebrity culture, not only does Kim Kardashian have her own perfume line (ugh), but that she has a huge event in Las Vegas to LAUNCH her perfume? I understand a perfume launch at a store like Sephora, like Jennifer Aniston did last week. But to do a Vegas launch like it's a club opening? That's so odd to me.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Linnocent refuses to be indoctrinated by the Church of Scientology

Posted: 08 May 2011 05:35 AM PDT

These are some new shots of Linnocent going in or out of her court-ordered community service. Is she wearing a bra this time? I can't tell. I'm not even sure she owns a bra. She probably can't afford one, right? She blows all of her hooker money on tequila and blow…? Allegedly.

Anyway, you know how Linnocent is going to be working with John Travolta on the Gotti movie? Well, there have been rumors that the Church of Scientology is trying to "get" Linnocent. This would be an interesting "get" for Xenu, but how in the world do you indoctrinate a delusional, narcissistic, crackheaded sociopath? You don't. You can't. Thus, Linnocent ran to TMZ to correct the record:

Lindsay Lohan is NOT joining the Church of Scientology … TMZ has learned — despite reports claiming John Travolta was trying to indoctrinate the actress into his religion.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, the actress has no plans whatsoever to become a Scientologist — she hasn’t taken any classes with the Church … and hasn’t even been asked to visit by current members.

We’re told Lindsay has nothing against the Church — but she was raised Catholic and plans to stay Catholic … in fact, she remains an avid practitioner to this day.

It’s all in response to several reports on Friday — that Lindsay made inroads with the Church of Scientology under the guidance of “Gotti” co-star John Travolta … but it just ain’t true.

[From TMZ]

Hahahaha, an "avid practitioner" of Catholicism. Meaning this, I suppose:

Or this:

Yeah. So devout. Jesus is all, "Ugh, this bitch."

In other Linnocent news, a few days ago, TMZ "broke the story" that Paris Hilton "dropped the hammer" on Linnocent. Except that TMZ totally blew the whole thing out of proportion, and it's basically like TMZ is just the girl in middle school who loves to tell everybody about how her friend Paris said this and that about her friend Lindsay and, like, OMG! Anyway, Paris was doing charity work at some homeless shelter, and a homeless woman asked for Paris's earrings. Paris took them off and gave the earrings to the lady, who in turn asked Paris "Lindsay, why aren't you in rehab?" Paris says - in voice over (because this was all part of her reality show) - that if she was Lindsay, she would be stealing the earrings, not giving them away. Um… yeah. Burn? Anyway, Linnocent was all "OMG, that's SO MEAN!" and Paris went to TMZ and said "I apologize to Lindsay for the comment that I made. I was joking around but it was thoughtless and unnecessary. I am reaching out to Lindsay so I can tell her myself." Snore.

Photos courtesy of Fame & Purple Magazine.

Penelope Cruz’s freckly June Vogue cover preview: gorgeous or meh?

Posted: 08 May 2011 05:34 AM PDT

Penelope Cruz is the cover girl for the June issue of Vogue (America). These are some low-quality shots of the Vogue shots, courtesy of The Fashion Spot. I adore Penelope's freckles. And her post-baby body is INSANE. The photographer is Mario Testino, and her clothes in the shoot are all D&G, by the way. Nice. Here are a few more shots:

Penelope took the Vogue cover - in her first big magazine interview since giving birth to baby Leo - because she's about to start the promotional tour for Pirates of the Caribbean 4, which comes out in two weeks. I have no idea if people are still interested in this franchise, but given the recent appetite for needless sequels (Fast & Furious, blech), this one will probably do very well. In addition to Vogue, Penelope also appears on the cover of the latest issue of The Hollywood Reporter. I've put some interview highlights and the cover below:

Penelope on doing an action film while pregnant: “It helped that I was a dancer for so many years and worked on the fight choreography for two months before I was pregnant. I really knew all the fights because [director] Rob [Marshall] put them together almost as a dance the way we had trained for Nine. That helped, and when we shot, I never did anything dangerous.”

Working with her 'Nine' director Rob Marshall: “Rob and I were eating together and he turned to me and said, ‘I have this question to ask you but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to ask as you may say ‘No’. 'Well Rob, you have to ask me,’ I said. And he turned and asked, ‘Would you like to do ‘Pirates’ with me and Johnny?’ I heard this and screamed. A very good scream. I really love Rob and have longed to work with him again. I want to kiss his feet.”

On Johnny Depp: “Johnny is a great friend, so genuine and unique. My memories of ‘Blow’… Wow that was such an extreme period. It was a wild set, very rock ‘n’ roll. I had missed working with him.”

On taking every job when she was younger: “When I started, when I was 16 or 17, I never even considered not doing a project. I just wanted to work. I knew who some of those I would work with would be pleasant, and others would be these huge a–holes. But now, if there’s one thing I can afford to do, having worked so hard for all of these years, it’s that if I go into a meeting with someone that is offering me a movie and I can clearly see they are going to be an a–hole, I will not do the movie. No matter what it is.”

[From CTV & Music Rooms]

Nice. I know that Javier and Penelope are rumored to be major d-bags in general, but I have to say, I usually like Penelope in interviews, and I'm excited to see her career moves in the future. I was never her biggest fan… until I saw Nine. She was the best part of Nine. And now I really enjoy her. Plus, I just want to see Leo. You know that's one hot Spanish baby.

Vogue shots courtesy of The Fashion Spot. Hollywood Reporter cover courtesy of THR online.

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

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