Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

You Get A James Van Der Beek GIF! And YOU Get A James Van Der Beek GIF!

Posted: 04 Jan 2011 09:04 AM PST

Okay, internet. Alright. You got us. We will all like this for a day and a half.

There is a new website called jamesvandermemes.com that is made up entirely of GIFS showing James Van Der Beek expressing various emotions. You know… emotions. Like sadness and happiness.

“Watching James Van Der Beek GIFS on the internet might have been the oppurunity of your life time. But I don’t want… your life.” – Your Teenage Son To You

Anyway, go ahead and look at that website for exactly 4 minutes. James Van Der Beek appreciates it.

Thanks, Buzzfeed.

Watch This Cover Of Home And Seriously Consider Having Kids

Posted: 04 Jan 2011 07:55 AM PST

This father and little girl covering Home by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros has it’s limitations. For example, you could not convert it to MP3 on listentoyoutube.com and then play it in your car while gave a friend a ride. You’re friend would think you were creepy, stop accepting rides from you and report you to the police. And the police would ask, “What exactly are you accusing your friend of doing?” And your friend would say, “I’m not really sure, but he’s listening to little girls sing pop songs in his car.” And then the police would ask, “You mean like Kidz Bop?” And then your friend would say, “No, not a group of children. Specifically one little girl and her dad.” And then the police would say, “Oh,” and then arrest you.

But aside from those limitations, this is really great to watch and it will make you want to start a family. Gentlemen, buy some rings, and, ladies, get your cycles figured out. We’re about to build some babies.

Hahaha, that was great! But, seriously, we’ve made a huge mistake. We’ve got no business raising a child.

Thanks, The Daily What.

Partial Solar Eclipse Photos Are Impartially Awesome

Posted: 04 Jan 2011 03:38 AM PST

Here’s some photos from a partial solar eclipse in Dinslaken, Germany this morning. Check out how awesome it is while I try to come up with a reason to have posted them on a pop culture site:

Because we are sometimes a humoure site (that’s the humor way I spell it), I guess my job is to add jokes to this? Sure – solar eclipse walks into a bar, bartender’s like, “how the f*** is any of this happening?” and everyone else in the bar agrees. Joke complete. And my post title was like, 4% a joke. I should get a raise. “Now that’s a joke!” – my boss, who is also a joker.

Additional ridiculous eclipse pic after the jump:

(Getty Images)

Cell Phone Companies Listen To Everyone Ever, Decide To Standardize Phone Chargers

Posted: 03 Jan 2011 02:57 PM PST

So far 2011 is looking great! You know how nobody in the world has not had the idea to make it so all phones can use the same type of charger charger? Well, over the next year, most mobile device companies will finally start producing their phones so that they can all use the same type of charger. From hothardware.com:

14 of the most prominent mobile phone manufacturers agreed to use a single standard. Although the agreement was made, there’s still a lot of background work to be done before consumers enjoy the full benefits of this agreement. Recently, the European Commission sent out details for the standard in preparation for the switch.

The technical specifications for the connection are based on the microUSB connector that many mobile phone manufacturers are already using.  You’ll find many of your favorite phone brands among the list of manufacturers that have agreed to adopt the standard, including Samsung, Apple, Nokia, and Research in Motion.

It’s so satisfying when a thing that should obviously get done finally gets done. Next up: jars of salsa that are wide and shallow so you can use the jar as a bowl without getting salsa all over your knuckles.

And while we’re on the subject of obvious inventions, can we come up with something better than toilet paper? If you got sh*t on your coffee table, would you just scrape it off with a piece of paper and then go get a soda? No. Then, how is it possible that it’s 2011 and we’re still happy doing that with OUR BODIES?! This should actually take precedence over the cell phone charger thing. Get to work, science.

Snooki’s Book Cover Is Actually Kinda Good?

Posted: 04 Jan 2011 03:01 AM PST

Here’s the cover for Snooki’s long-awaited authorial debut, A Shore Thing:

All things considered, I kinda like the cover, especially compared to the usual autobiographical snoozefests from other highly respectable people.

The content, of course, is far more glorious:

“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”

Yup, sounds about right. If anything, I’m surprised that paragraph wasn’t the title, or at least floating around the cover in cartoony farty “puff letters” font. Hopefully for paperback.

(via Dlisted)

The 11 Most Effable Male Sex Dolls

Posted: 03 Jan 2011 06:27 PM PST

11. “The Goo Goo Doll”




10. “The Edie Falco”



9 “The Gary Sinise”



8. “The Twink Martindale”





7. “The Rock Out With Your Cee Out” (aka “The 30 Seconds To Mars”)





6. “The Adam Lambert”



5. “The Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”




4. “The Bradley Whitford”





3. “The Brains Over Beauty” or “Masturbate Theater”




2. “The Christine Baranski”




1. “The Time To Make The Ho Nuts”

All Doll Photos from Real Doll (NSFW) except for #1, which can be purchased here.

Let’s Get Soft Bouncin’ Bouncin’ Curls At Jarrell’s From 8AM To Midnight

Posted: 03 Jan 2011 12:25 PM PST

What can you even say about Jarrell’s beauty salon? Holy sh*t, so much. Let’s watch and then discuss a lot of things.

Thing #1: “Just 27.50. You’ll look good in the fitcher.” What? Eleven seconds in and we already have a new word.

Thing #2: Guitar Guy.

Thing #3: “Jarrell curl is my fame.” Again, what? It’s like he’s trying to play the lottery, but with words instead of numbers.

Thing #4: Operating Hours: 8am to midnight. That is probably too long for a Jerry Curl salon to be open. And it is FOR SURE too long for a Jarrell Curl salon to be open.

Thing #5: You shouldn’t dance while you cut people’s hair because scissors and blood.

Thing #6: Jarrell needs to WIPE HIS FACE.

Thing #7: Jarrell needs to WIPE HIS CHEST.

Thanks, @MorganCline and @gingerchildren.

AT&T Imagines A Future Where We Can Send Faxes From The Beach

Posted: 03 Jan 2011 11:41 AM PST

How far back is 1993, you ask? Let’s put it this way: It’s two years before the movie The Net came out and blew us all away with its special effects. But way back when, 18 years ago (kill me), AT&T had the foresight to put out the following ad campaign called “You Will,” predicting all the things the future has in store for us. Thinks like sending faxes from the beach, or taking meetings on your beachside patio. In other words, in the future, we are all douchebags:

Pretty accurate, Tom Selleck! The only thing you forgot is that it’s now possibly to masturbate basically anywhere. Future!

(Buzzfeed)

Finally, Japan Is Behind Us On Something

Posted: 03 Jan 2011 10:56 AM PST

In 2011, I discovered something beyond my wildest dreams: Little Tokyo in Downtown LA, which is like stepping into a post-Apocalyptic really sh*tty actual Tokyo. It was like going on a tiny vacation, and heaven for buying Hello Kitty gifts for nieces. But the best part was discovering the Little Tokyo supermarket, which sells a candy bar that’s a blast from 1995: Crunky Bars. And apparently, Japan’s definition of “chronic + drunk” is some sort of chocolate bar made out of yams. Which would have been a lifesaver to me this New Year’s Eve instead of actual alcohol, which I won’t be touching again for the remainder of 2011. Good year sir.

How Fast Can You Find The Village Person That Is Not A Puppet?

Posted: 03 Jan 2011 10:40 AM PST

Here’s a video of a basketball halftime show in which there are puppet versions of The Village People. Not all of them are puppets, though. One is a person. See how fast you can figure out which one it is. It’s like a magic eye, but much easier and not really at all like a magic eye.

You might like football more than basketball, but nobody can deny that basketball is far more diverse when it comes to halftime entertainment.

“Oh, you’re going to get 50 guys who go to school with you to play horns? Yeah, I’m going to dress like an Indian, build four fake village people and design a system to make them move at my command.” – Basketball Halftime Talking to Football Halftime

The idea of this guy’s parents getting asked what their son is up to is really great.

Thanks, Best Of YouTube.
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