Monday, January 10, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

So Ironic It’s Not Ironic: Man Gets Justin Bieber’s Face Tattooed On Thigh

Posted: 10 Jan 2011 08:53 AM PST

This guy. This guy has to slow his roll. This was either a drunken decision or he’s straight edge and pain and humiliation are the only natural highs he can achieve. This isn’t some super duper Twilight enthusiast with a back tattoo. This, to use the parlance of our times, is a hipster, who, though he did not tattoo glasses to his face, took the ironic tattoo too far. Or he lost a bet. I mean, this is a guess. Maybe he loves Bieber. Though, I’ll bet my finest pair of skinny jeans that he does not.


Sure. Great. Fine. Hilarious.

Via The Sun

Of All The Luck, Man Ends Up Sitting Next To Lindsay Lohan

Posted: 10 Jan 2011 08:44 AM PST

Now that Lindsay Lohan is sober and out of rehab, she’s playing a virtual game of Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? around Los Angeles, where her familiar giant floppy red hat has been replaced with long strawberry red extensions, her trench coat, low slung pajama jeans.

So isn’t it just this guy’s luck that of all places, of all times, he has to spend the entirety of a Knicks game sitting next to Lindsay Lohan?

She might be sober, but she still looks really annoying. Good thing Spike Lee showed up to diffuse the tension!!

I personally appreciate the subtleties of his outfit.

Voilà! The Best Snack Cake Slogan Ever

Posted: 10 Jan 2011 07:48 AM PST

I didn’t realize we were all in the middle of a competition to create the greatest snack cake slogan possible, but never mind, because Voilà! has just ended this competition as quickly as it began:

“Fluent Delicious” is a free band name, if anyone’s planning to start a funk/soul throwback group where the metro lead singer eventually develops a strong gay following. If no one else wants it, I’ll take it. Last chance? Sweet.

(thanks, Matthew K. Fanclub!)

Swedish Moose Jumps Over A Volvo With The Greatest Of Ease

Posted: 10 Jan 2011 07:29 AM PST

Sweden: A land of magical wonder where giant beasts gracefully leap over cars, as though weightless. Never mind the idyllic landscape and beautiful people. Let’s all move there.

There might be a slight perspective issue here. I mean, maybe the moose isn’t actually jumping over the car. But do you believe in light and laughter and Swedish love or cynicism and laws of perspective? It’s your choice.

Via Jalopnik

SNL Power Rankings: The Not Ready For Primetime Players Take A Backseat To Jim Carrey

Posted: 10 Jan 2011 08:53 AM PST

And there you were, thinking that we forgot about this feature! After 2010 closed out in fairly hectic fashion –I proposed to my girlfriend and got stranded as part of the Great Blizzard, among other things — I made sure to clear my entire Sunday to watch and tabulate the results of the last three episodes of SNL: the Paul Rudd/Paul McCartney episode (Dec. 11), the Jeff Bridges/Eminem/Lil Wayne episode (Dec. 18) and, of course, this weekend’s highly rated episode hosted by Jim Carrey with musical guest the Black Keys. Abbreviated reviews for December’s missing episodes will be going up shortly, but let’s kick 2011 off, timely style, and start talking about how awesome Jim Carrey is, was, and will always be.

It’s fair to say that, after dominating the comedy landscape for much of the nineties, Jim Carrey’s career took a depressing left-hand turn into Snoozeville for the better part of the Aughts. Yes, we dimly recall chuckling during Bruce Almighty ($484 million worldwide gross) and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was, without a doubt, one of the decade’s most resonant films. Outside of those, though, Carrey’s luster suffered as he chose to probe the dark side of his persona in weird and terrible films like The Number 23 and The Majestic when he wasn’t vacationing in the Uncanny Valley (2009′s A Christmas Carol).

However, the second that Jim Carrey stepped on stage in the show’s Black Swan sketch (which had a good deal of Vera de Milo flavor in it, wouldn’t you say?), the world was reminded of Carrey’s brilliance as a sketch performer. Carrey’s star quality helped propel the show to creative heights (“Can We Stay With You?”, his killer and totally out of nowhere Alan Thicke impresh!) and huge ratings (the biggest since last May’s Betty White episode). But, rather than discussing the star or the musical guest, now is the time of the week in which we break down how the cast performed this week with our SNL Power Rankings.


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: 1/8/11 (Host: Jim Carrey; Musical Guests: Black Keys)

1. Kristen Wiig (32 points): When you have a host that’s as dynamic and talented as Jim Carrey, it’s not really necessary that any of the Not Ready For Primetime Players dominate in the way that they have to when weaker hosts show up at Studio 8H. That is certainly true of Wiig’s work this week, which wasn’t very flashy, but was always solid. She *almost* lost it during the above sketch, “A Taste Of New York,” which would’ve made for an even more memorable night.

2. Bobby Moynihan (25 points): During his three year stint on SNL, Moynihan has had some difficulty establishing himself as a lead character in sketches (cue the “Bring back Mark Payne!” refrain). However, he has settled into a nice Weekend Update groove with his work as secondhand news reporter Anthony Crespino (2nd appearance this year) and, of course, Snooki.

3. Andy Samberg (23 points): It’s always a bummer when The Lonely Island doesn’t contribute an SNL Digital Short and, much like the other performers, Samberg didn’t have a “bring the house down” moment. That said, he did score some silly points with his work as Cameron the Blackbird, the lone survivor of the Great Arkansas Bird Plague of 2011.

4. (tie) Jason Sudeikis, Taran Killam (22 points): ‘Twas a workmanlike ep for the show’s all-purpose white guys. Both did their best work in the “Worst Of Soul Train” sketch which, sadly, the scrooges over at NBC decided not to clear for online use. Boooooo!

6. Bill Hader (21 points): Hader has been en fuego for the last few weeks, so it didn’t bother us much that he ceded the spotlight to the other cast members this week. Howevs, his work in the Black Swan sketch as Thomas, “the world’s only straight French choreographer,” was choice.

7. Kenan Thompson (20 points): The horny old coot Grady Wilson has had many fine moments over the years but, much like many of Kristen Wiig’s core cast of characters, this one is starting to feel a bit stale.

8. Fred Armisen (19 points): As far as bizarre and off key impressions go, Armisen’s work as Mayor Michael Bloomberg has only been surpassed by Taran Killam’s total misread of Brad Pitt’s mannerisms. Still, as Armisen is wont to do, he saved his evening with his work as the drummer in Taste of New York (which was no Bjelland Brothers, but then again, what is?).

9. Vanessa Bayer (17 points): Not much was asked of Bayer this week, but she’s still undeniably at the head of this year’s crop of SNL rookies.

10. Nasim Pedrad (16 points): Pedrad looked both graceful and super gorgeous as Nina in the “Black Swan” sketch, but all of the comedic heavy lifting in that sketch was left to Carrey, Hader and Killam. She seems full of potential, but until Kristin Wiig steps aside, she doesn’t seem like she’s got much of a chance to really break through.

11. Paul Brittain (10 points): Save for Sex Ed Vincent, he’s been stuck with supporting roles for much of the season. This week was no exception.

12 (tie). Abby Elliott, Jay Pharoah (5 points): I have already written off Abby Elliott, so the less said about her, the better. As for Pharoah, at this point in the season, he seems to be headed down the same path that Jerry Minor and Finesse Mitchell walked before him.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS
1. Bill Hader (352 points; Last Week: #1)
2. Kristin Wiig (331 points; Last Week: #2)
3. Fred Armisen (308 points; Last Week: #3)
4. Andy Samberg (296 points; Last Week: #4)
5. Jason Sudeikis (269 points; Last Week: #6)
6. Kenan Thompson (249 points; Last Week: #5)
7. Bobby Moynihan (221 points; Last Week: #7)
8. Nasim Pedrad (190 points; Last Week: #8)
9. Vanessa Bayer (178 points; Last Week: #9)
10. ⇑ Taran Killam (157 points; Last Week: #11)
11. ⇓ Abby Elliott (141 points; Last Week: #10)
12. Paul Brittain (136 points; Last Week: #11)
13. Jay Pharoah (103 points; Last Week: #13)

Reference Materials:
Need a refresher on the Scoring System?
Here’s this week’s sketch-by-sketch breakdown:

Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true!
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