Cele|bitchy |
- Hot Guy Friday: The search for the perfect “forever and always” dong
- Angelina Jolie & Johnny Depp’s odd, giant faces on ‘The Tourist’ poster
- Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth’s split “confirmed” (update)
- Taylor Momsen is so hardcore, she’s probably dating Jack Osbourne
- Tyra Banks covers her famous forehead with a cheap fishnet stocking
- Rachel Zoe is pregnant, OK! Magazine’s sources claim
- Alicia Keys brings out her forehead bling & smug-face, for charity
- Sister Wives “devastated” that husband Kody kissed fourth wife before wedding
- Angelina Jolie disgusted by Brad Pitt’s artichoke-induced gas
- Diane Lane’s two events: always a classic, or she needs a new look?
| Hot Guy Friday: The search for the perfect “forever and always” dong Posted: 01 Oct 2010 08:51 AM PDT I was totally and completely lost for this week’s headliner Hot Guy this week. And then it occurred to me - Motherf-ckin’ George Clooney! Not the Clooney that we’re forced to look at these days, the Clooney with the weird, oddly worked-on face, the strange toupee-looking hair, and the open relationships with (alleged) coke whores. No, I thought we’d do the Classic Cloon. The vintage Clooney, the one everyone loved because he didn’t know what a f-cking kinky, cheesy, escort-loving bastard he was yet. We thought he was cool. We thought he was hot. And he was! Remember Out of Sight? Still one of my favorite movies, and Clooney has never looked or been any better than that. So peruse the vintage section, at your leisure. Added bonus: Clooney has lots of hot guy friends! How about following The Cloon with some vintage Cary Grant. Clooney wishes, of course. But the comparison is interesting. Speaking of classics, how about Mikhail Baryshnikov? I’ve been in love with him since I was a little girl. The first time I saw White Nights, I was very little, and I cried because the dancing was so beautiful. His body… and his face. He’s aging really well, and naturally, and I would still hit it. He’s one of those “Forever and Always” Dongs. This guy is my new favorite. Although he's not new - I found Kevin Durand extremely erotic when he showed up on Lost as Keamy, the dude with the dead man's switch. He was the bad guy and he was there to kill lots of people, and he had no qualms about it, and yet… I still wanted to hit it sideways. Anyway, I just saw him with his BFF Russell Crowe in Robin Hood (Durand played Little John), and he was good! He's also HUGE. Like, six and a half feet tall. And I love it. Speaking of Lost, there were lots of requests for a "Hot Guys of Lost". First of all, the show is over, stop obsessing! You're making me depressed. Second of all, yes, they were hot, and we should NEVER FORGET. Here are Matthew Fox, Josh Holloway, and Daniel Dae Kim: We’ve had Blair Underwood on a few times, but I keep going back to him. You know why? Because he’s BLAIR F-CKING UNDERWOOD, and he makes panties melt. Some Taylor Kitsch… why are people always raving about this guy? Yes, he has a nice body, but the face is totally average. Some Djimon Hounsou. Let’s just pretend Kimora never happened, mmkay? Here’s one that nearly everyone will hate, but he’s someone who gets me so hot. I f-cking love Josh Brolin. Well… no, I don’t love him, but I think he’s sexy as hell, in addition to being funny and fearless. A controversial choice - The Sparkler himself, Robert Pattinson. I know, I know. But he is rather lovely, and we know he gets hot for bitches (K-Stew, etc). So… he should be our mascot. Our pretty, sparkly, dirty mascot. I actually had to search for photos where his mouth is closed. Because he poses with his mouth open for nearly every photo shoot! The Sparkler's BFF and maybe-lover, Tom Sturridge. I just saw Pirate Radio, and this boy is so, so pretty. It hurts. I don’t even remember if I’ve ever had Jimmy Smits on here before. He’s one of my favorites - so, so sexy. Rufus Sewell, by request. He's a talented actor, no doubt. So talented that I can't find him attractive because he almost always plays a huge douche. Sean Bean is one of those dirty rotten bastards that I find irresistible. Yes, he's not a stunning man. But there's something wonderful about how dirty and masculine he is. Swoon! My immortal beloved. I chose some grumpy pics of him, because he’s my very special grumpy bastard. His grumpy-face makes me think about how he’ll look when we’re fighting and then he pushes me up against the wall and…. Garret Hedlund, in case anyone cares. The boy is cute! Sigh… I love Paul Bettany. He just seems like such a sweetheart. And he's kept Jennifer Connelly interested! Hidden talents. Vintage Peter Gabriel, by request. Since I am The Official Mistress of HGF, I’d like to do a little ode to my two favorite gingers, Damian Lewis (Band of Brothers, Life) and Prince Harry: Benjamin McKenzie, by request. He has lovely eyes. A lot of you watch the Spartacus: Blood and Sand series on Starz? And this Andy Whitfield is the cat’s pajamas, apparently. He is really, really cute, and he’s built like a brick sh-thouse. Sad about his cancer - hopefully he’ll recover and be back to form in no time! Oh, f-ck me, John Hannah is in it too?!? I LOVE John Hannah. His Scottish accent is erotic and lovely. He looks a bit like Hugh Laurie in these pics though - which isn’t really a bad thing. This vintage pic of Jon Hamm came from commenter Eileen. The Hamm was always fine, and he will always be fine as hell. Goodness. I also added some new photos of The Hamm and The Moss in London last night. A little Joseph Gordon Levitt, because he’s a classic. A little Sam Trammell… he’s the original, in my opinion, and Jason Trawick is Sam’s budget version: Alexander Skarsgard, of course. Shall we end it with my lover/husband/Forever Dong? Yes, David Gandy will do nicely. Photos courtesy of WENN, Annie Leibovitz’s archives, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images, Alex Skarsgard’s fansite and David Gandy’s fansite.      |
| Angelina Jolie & Johnny Depp’s odd, giant faces on ‘The Tourist’ poster Posted: 01 Oct 2010 08:04 AM PDT When the trailer for The Tourist debuted, many wondered what the hell happened to Johnny Depp. He looked… kind of bloated. Granted, he still looked hot, as Bloated Depp is still better than everything else. But there is some kind of weirdness happening with Depp, appearance-wise, for the film. So I'm not sure what producers were trying to achieve when they put both Depp and Angelina Jolie's big heads on the first poster for The Tourist. I know some of you hate when I talk about Photoshop - and let's face it, we've seen worse, especially when some budget Photoshop gives Angelina an alien-face. Depp is the one I'm looking at - maybe he needs MORE 'Shopping? I don't know. They made his beard noticeably less scruffy, and thus, his face looks "filled in". Oh, and what the f-ck did they do to Angelina's neck? Even her worst haters can acknowledge that she's isn't some weird no-neck girl. Whatever. Here are some additional stills from the film, in addition to the trailer (again!). Poster courtesy of Coming Soon. Additional pics courtesy of Fame.    |
| Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth’s split “confirmed” (update) Posted: 01 Oct 2010 07:35 AM PDT Agent Bedhead just sent over this Holy Moly story - apparently, there are some new murmurings that Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth have split up. Now - there have been rumors about their demise before, just as there have been rumors about an engagement (which I think Peaches planted). But Eli and "accomplished journalist" Peaches have weathered the storms before, and they've made it through seven months together, which is longer than many of us were predicting. Anyway, this latest rumor stems from a series of tweets that Peaches made, and then deleted. Holy Moly reports that Peaches first tweeted a quote from Shakespeare, tweeting: "So dear I Love him that with him, all deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life." Then she deleted it, and replaced it with this: [From Peaches Geldof's Twitter] Is this enough for a breakup story? Eh. Peaches hadn't tweeted much in the past week, and Eli's Twitter reveals his obsession with the Segway dude's death. Could it be that neither one of them want to come out and confirm it? Or is it that they're still together, and both are just extremely vapid? Eh. UPDATE: Thanks to SamiGirl for her link - The Gossip Wrap-up is confirming that Peaches and Eli have broken up, and they’re insinuating that Eli did the dumping, and that Peaches is devastated. YAY!    |
| Taylor Momsen is so hardcore, she’s probably dating Jack Osbourne Posted: 01 Oct 2010 07:11 AM PDT Our patron saint here at Celebitchy just might be our beloved Raccoon McPantless. Taylor Momsen brings the laughs and the tragedy and the incessant angst in ways no other celebrity does. And she's only 17 years old! It's just going to get better and better with this one, I predict. Anyway, Star Magazine had an interesting little blurb about Taylor and who she might be seeing…Jack Osbourne, former reality star. Is Jack HARDCORE enough for our beloved Raccoon? Not by a long shot!
[From Star Magazine, print edition] One thing I'll hesitantly give Raccoon credit for is that although she signals "Jailbait" with her every clothing choice and interview, she's really not out there trying to f-ck every sugar daddy that will make her a star. Yes, her vibrator is her BFF, but Taylor seems to signal that she's more focused on work than play. So if this story about Raccoon and Jack is true, it sounds kind of fine. They might even be cute together. Jack might even be a good influence on her.    |
| Tyra Banks covers her famous forehead with a cheap fishnet stocking Posted: 01 Oct 2010 06:51 AM PDT It's like Tyra Banks thinks she's Lady Gaga now. In Tyra's delusional, narcissistic mind, she probably thinks she started every single dumb trend, ever. So this is Tyra in Paris yesterday. You know she thinks she looks so high-fashion, when she just looks like a Wes Craven monster. Tyra tweeted and told fashion reporters about how she achieved this look - "cheap FISHNET stockings I got n crazy store n Paris! I cut em up n made it y’all.” It looks crazy dumb, y'all. And I think Tyra's
[From US Weekly] God she's dumb. The fact that anyone considers her some kind of style, fashion or modeling icon is a f-cking joke. But we're talking about her, so she got what she wanted. It's ALL ABOUT TYRA!!!! Can we start calling her Fivehead Fishnet Face now? Tyra on Sept. 30, 2010. Credit: WENN.    |
| Rachel Zoe is pregnant, OK! Magazine’s sources claim Posted: 01 Oct 2010 06:32 AM PDT Rachel Zoe might be pregnant. This is according to OK! Magazine's sources, which, you know… it's like the hobo on the street telling you to wear a tin-foil hat. Still, other sites are running with the story, so maybe there's something there. If you've been watching The Rachel Zoe Project, you know that the story line this season has been "Rodger wants Rachel to get pregnant, and have a daughter (or a gay son), so that Rachel will have someone to leave her vintage archives." So did Rodger man up and knock Rachel up? Um… sure?
[From OK! Magazine] Wait, if Rachel is a couple of months pregnant right now, and she's going on maternity leave after the Oscars, that means her "leave" will be the last trimester. Sure, that's more than most women get, but it's not like Rachel would really be putting the breaks to anything. She lives to dress bitches for the Oscars - and what I always, always LOVE is that for the exception of Anne Hathaway, none of Rachel's clients are ever nominated. Rachel just dresses the women who are famous for just showing up to the opening of an envelope (Camy Diaz, Demi Moore). So who would dress the famewhores in tacky couture if Rachel couldn't?!? Bah. But seriously, if she is knocked up (which I doubt), congratulations to Rachel and Rodger. Roger in particular - he wants to be a dad so badly. Header: Rachel in August, credit: WENN.    |
| Alicia Keys brings out her forehead bling & smug-face, for charity Posted: 01 Oct 2010 05:55 AM PDT These are photos of Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz at the "Keep A Child Alive" ball last night. As you can see, Alicia doesn't have much longer, does she? She'll probably give birth in the next month, I'm thinking. Oh, wait. You didn't even notice her pregnant belly? Why is that? Oh, right. Because Alicia Keys is trying to start a forehead-bling trend. 'Licia thinks she's fashion-forward, and a trendsetter. Lock up your baby-daddies, Alicia Keys is starting trends! But back to the forehead-jewelry… I can't even. And this kind of junk is in my genes - Indian women do this kind of thing. For special events, they'll do elaborate facial jewelry, like attaching a nose piercing to a bejeweled earring, attached to an elaborate headpiece. It can actually be pretty if it's part of a whole "look" and it's for a truly amazing occasion, like a wedding or something. Alicia also attempted to rock some forehead bling on her wedding day: I gave her a pass for the most part. I thought she was just trying to draw the eye away from her pregnant belly. But now I just think she's trying to make this a real style choice. Another thing that bothers me is that the forehead piece doesn't seem to make any sense with the dress or with Alicia's other jewelry. Blue-grey dress, diamonds… and then a cheap, budget-looking (faux?) ruby-and-pearl forehead accessory. Of course, I'm also disturbed because Alicia has permanent smug-face these days, like she won some kind of jump-off prize when she married Swizz. 'Licia, he's going to cheat on your ass too, girl.    |
| Sister Wives “devastated” that husband Kody kissed fourth wife before wedding Posted: 01 Oct 2010 05:54 AM PDT
[From Radar] Kody was married to three of his wives well before any of them had kids, and I got the impression that they’re all good friends and are very comfortable with each other and the well established roles they serve in the household. While both Janelle and Mari, Kody’s first two wives, said on the last episode they would welcome another woman as it was getting a little boring for them, Christine said that she liked the way things were and that she didn’t want another woman coming in. Christine stays home with the children (who are no longer home schooled) and would probably feel the disruption from another woman and three more kids the most. It’s a complicated situation made even more so by bringing in yet another woman with her own kids. A few of you commented that it seems suspicious that Kody is adding another wife at this point, right when they’re filming a reality show, and that it could be a pre-arranged plot twist that they used as a selling point. I’d like to think that they wouldn’t do that to their family or their kids, but you never know what people are capable of, especially when fame and cash are involved.    |
| Angelina Jolie disgusted by Brad Pitt’s artichoke-induced gas Posted: 01 Oct 2010 05:44 AM PDT
[From The National Enquirer, print edition, October 11, 2010] I wonder how that tastes. I love green olives and like to throw a ton in my drinks and on my salads, but I’m not a big fan of artichokes. They seem too chewy and rough, but maybe I’ll try this despite the side effects. I have to apologize to Kaiser for covering this story as she usually gets dibs on all Brangelina coverage. Since I’m married I feel I’m qualified to comment on this, though. We all have moments when our partner makes us want to sleep somewhere else. If there were another bedroom I could retreat to, there are definitely times I would do it. This story is probably crap, no pun intended, although it’s so odd I’m inclined to believe it. Brad Pitt is shown outside The Grove in LA on 9/25/10. Credit: Fame Pictures. He’s also shown filming with Robin Wright on 9/30. Credit: Shinn/Fame Pictures. He’s shown with Angelina on 7/19/10. Credit: WENN.com    |
| Diane Lane’s two events: always a classic, or she needs a new look? Posted: 01 Oct 2010 05:35 AM PDT You know I think highly of Diane Lane, right? I think she's beautiful and talented and grounded and cool. I admire her career and her lack of pretension. She hasn't been working that much lately, but she's got a family-friendly movie coming out called Secretariat. It's like Seabiscuit, only with Lane in the Jeff Bridges role, I think. Disney produced it, and something tells me this is a film that lots of dads will be taking their daughters to. Dads will like it because it's got Diane Lane. Girls will like it because it's got horses, and probably a dose of feminism. Anyway, the premiere was last night, and I am underwhelmed by Diane's style. To give her (some) credit, she does tend to change up her red carpet style year by year, so it's not like she always looks the same. I think it's the hair that's messing me up. Maybe it's too dark? No, that's not it - she looks nice with darker hair. I think it's just the absence of any real hair style. It looks like she didn't even care. But the dress is nice. Diane and her husband Josh were also at the Variety Women's Power luncheon earlier yesterday. I totally prefer this look - hair is better, and the dress pops. Maybe Diane was just flummoxed at having to be styled for two different events on the same day? Oh, well. At least Diane and Josh look totally solid. I love that he was her “date” for a women’s luncheon. I bet he had a great time!    |
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