Cele|bitchy |
- Lindsay Lohan wants her SCRAM bracelet off, because it’s uncomfortable
- Is Halle Berry moving too fast with Olivier Martinez?
- Hot Guy Friday: To Scottish dong and beyond!
- Have Jesse James & Kat Von D already split up?
- Is Angelina Jolie being “sabotaged” or is she just paranoid?
- Raccoon McPantless: “Guys can masturbate. So why can’t girls?”
- Russell Brand says his wedding with Katy Perry will be ’sort of normal’
- Is Gerard Butler hitting on pretty boy Jared Leto?
- Gabourey Sidibe thinks her childhood apartment was haunted
- Oprah crashes The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (and Stephen Colbert)
| Lindsay Lohan wants her SCRAM bracelet off, because it’s uncomfortable Posted: 15 Oct 2010 08:59 AM PDT I think I must have forgotten this in some kind of gossip-contact-crack-buzz haze, but Lindsay Lohan still has to wear her SCRAM bracelet even though she's chilling in the Bette Ford clinic. Ha! Stupid untrustworthy crackhead. Anyway, when she's not gnawing on a razor wire fence in an attempt to snort cow dung for the high, she's bitching and moaning to anyone who will listen about how her SCRAM is totally uncomfortable. Hey, Lindsay? You know what's even more uncomfortable? Jail.
[From Radar] Once again, if this is true, Lindsay just doesn't get it, does she? She thinks all of this - the court appearances, the alcohol classes, the jail, the rehab, the lawyers, all of it - she thinks it's all because people are "mean". She thinks that she's a poor innocent victim/child and that everyone is totally overreacting that she should get the SCRAM taken off because it's so uncomfortable, y'all! Nevermind that the last time she was wearing a SCRAM, it WENT OFF because she was doing COCAINE. It's there for a reason, ya know? Because she's a dumb, untrustworthy crackhead. Also - this story. I hate talking about Michael Lohan, but Michael K at Dlisted sums the sh-t up pretty well. Michael Lohan is such a f-cking crazy douche.      | |||||||||||
| Is Halle Berry moving too fast with Olivier Martinez? Posted: 15 Oct 2010 08:37 AM PDT I realize many of you are totally over the Olivier Martinez-Halle Berry thing. After all, they've only been dating for a few months, and yet they're already taking things to a very public level, being photographed all over Paris and now Los Angeles. These are new photos of them yesterday - Halle looks a little rough, in my opinion. Like she's exhausted from all the hot French sex, probably. Girl needs to spend some time in bed, time that doesn't involve doggy-style or nipple clamps (for him). Anyway, I know many are over it. I'm not. I think they're really hot together. They're one of those couples where I want to see their sex tape. Those couples are rare, for me at least. In any case, they may be sticking around a bit longer than "sexy times". Halle recently introduced Olivier to her mom… ruh-roh:
[From People] Do you introduce your new guy to you mom this fast? Maybe. I don't know - it feels so soon. Maybe it's different when you're a single mom. Maybe it's different when the sex is that good, and you can't imagine what it would be like to have that dong out of your life. I worry about Halle. She can f-ck up a relationship so spectacularly… I get the feeling she's doing it again. Plus, she seems way more into it in these photos. She looks like she's forcing him…reel it in, Halle. Olivier & Halle on October 14, 2010. Credit: Fame.    | |||||||||||
| Hot Guy Friday: To Scottish dong and beyond! Posted: 15 Oct 2010 08:14 AM PDT Am I dedicating the first part of this week's Hot Guy Friday to Scottish men just because I'm going to marry Gerard Butler someday? Perhaps. But I have another very good reason - that godforsaken craggy, foggy, kilt-wearing nation has produced some absolutely amazing men. Men that making me faint. Men that make you change your panties. Men that fill my thoughts with Scottish homoerotic fantasies (what would James McAvoy look like if he was being licked by Ewan McGregor?). Behold, the loveliness of Scotland. Where men roll their Rs and wear kilts and eat disgusting food and will do absolutely filthy and wonderful things to you. Our headliner this week is Ewan McGregor, for obvious reasons. He's beautiful, managing to combine classical good looks with a refreshing quirkiness. He's smart, he's talented, he's hysterical. He has no idea who Megan Fox is. And he loves to get naked for the ladies, telling reporters, "It's a feminist thing" - he's just trying to even things out for the lasses, one Scottish dong at a time. Bless his heart (and his dong). Next, we have James McAvoy. It took me forever to realize that he's Scottish, because he's really, really good at doing a straight English accent. But he is Scottish, and his natural accent is gorgeous. He's gorgeous too - it doesn't matter that he (like Ewan) is on the smaller side. You know James (and Ewan) make every inch count. You know what I mean? I didn't even hesitate to put Alan Cumming on this list. I f-cking love Alan Cumming. He's so delightfully weird, and if you've ever seen him done up in a proper suit, with his hair done well, you know how conventionally gorgeous he could be. But I prefer him weird. I like a mad who isn't afraid of eye makeup. I also adore his dimples. Also: has anyone seen The Anniversary Party? The sex scene? I mean… come on! He's so naughty! I don't think we've ever done Dougray Scott, which is a shame - he's quite handsome, and he's aging very, very well. He also seems like a nice dude too. It's a shame he never made it as a bigger star - he's go the goods. And then some. Every Scottish dude who has ever gotten laid after the year 1962 owes Sean Connery a dept of gratitude. When Sean became James Bond, Scotsman would forever be associated with dirty, hairy sex in exotic locales. Oooh, Mr. Bond! Now, I know Henry Ian Cusick (from Lost) isn't everyone's favorite, especially after that weird sexual harassment thing (which as far as I know, has never been proven). Let's just remember how sweet he was with Penny. And how he called everyone "Brother." And yes, he is really hot. Plus, there’s a picture of him with Richard/Nestor Carbonell! I'm going to end this foray into Scottish dong with my forever dong, Gerard. I don't even really have words for how happy I was when I found this old, old mislabeled photo of Gerard in a budget kilt. Look at that hawk (?) - CB said, "it makes it look like his dong is coming in for a landing!" Here’s more Gerard, with some Hot Scot Craig Ferguson thrown in (he and Gerry are buddies): Keeping with the dirty hot foreigner vibe, how about some Sharlto Copley? He’s South African. And totally f-cking sexy, in a gangly-hot-mess sort of way. Don Cheadle - I know we’ve had him on before, but he’s always worth a repeat. One of our great actors, for real. And he’s cute as hell too. Okay, Matthew Gray Gubler by request. This is his second damn appearance on HGF. Enough. He’s a bit player on a television show. Why the obsession? Yes, he’s cute and vulnerable. But enough. Sam Rockwell, who is my “Dong of the Moment”. I’m seriously obsessed. Omar Epps… I like him so much more in interviews than on House. I hate Foreman on House. Foreman is such a bitch. Every now and then he’ll do something good, but most of the time he’s just a petty, arrogant man. And I guess Omar is a good actor, because I buy it. A little Josh Holloway, because I think some people didn’t notice that there are new lovely photos of him! A little Antonio Banderas… not only is he The Sex, but he actually seems like a lovely man. But mostly he’s just The Sex. And Puss ‘n Boots!!! Kenneth Branagh, by request. I know he’s handsome, but I’m still mad at him about Emma Thompson. Rodrigo Santoro, by MY REQUEST. Well, hello Mr. Russell Wong. He’s half-Dutch, half-Chinese. Bless his beefy heart. I swear to God, we got a request for Tom Felton. I don’t get it. Maybe you have to be a Potterhead? Tom Avery, by request. He has a strange head, right? Another request - The Killers’ front man Brandon Flowers. I hate to admit it, but I think this kid is beautiful too. His voice is incredible and he’s lovely. He’s a Mormon, right? And a young father? This one is just for me. I love Jonny Lee Miller so much. Sweet Jonny. Ed Norton, because I just can’t help myself. He’s so pretty. I know he’s a douche! A douche that would like to see naked. I’ve loved Ciaran Hinds since I saw a version of Persuasion, where he played Captain Wentworth. That alone makes him HGF-worthy. But he’s also been in other hottie-films, like Road to Perdition and Jane Eyre (that’s a good version too) and now Rome. He’s sexy as all hell - and I got excited for a second because I thought he might be secretly Scottish, but he’s secretly Irish. That’s still hot, though. Josh Duhamel, by request. I find him rather skeevy, but he is cute. Thomas Jane, by request. I’ve also found him attractive in the past, but I get the feeling he’s a strange dude. Tom Ford is not amused by Hot Guy Friday. It is beneath him. Another Tom - this one by the name of Selleck. A little vintage Magnum… I’ve never really noticed how pretty his eyes are. My Javi. My Javi’s lover Daniel Craig was the headliner last week. I just thought we should remember that when looking at photos of Javi. Think about Daniel pushing Javi against the Porsche. Think about the rough kiss. Think about where their hands are. YES. Timothy Olyphant, always worth the wait. Andy Garcia, by request. I apologize for the somewhat crappy photos of him - I couldn’t find many nice photos of him when he was younger and just unbelievably gorgeous. Ooh, Edward Burns! Why has no one ever suggested him before? He’s really pretty. And finally, we come to our last men. I was just going to do David Gandy (in lieu of Clive Owen, who was last week’s end dude), but then I saw Jon Hamm last night on 30 Rock and… well, he deserves to be in the mix too. So I bring you my final two hotties, my lovers, my men, my forever dongs.
Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, James McAvoy’s fansite, Ed Norton’s fansite, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.    | |||||||||||
| Have Jesse James & Kat Von D already split up? Posted: 15 Oct 2010 07:15 AM PDT People Magazine is speculating as to the state of Jesse James and Kat Von D's relationship. When People Magazine is calling you out, you know they have some good, reliable sources that are telling them some sh-t. I noted in yesterday's post about Kat Von D that she had gone solo to the Jackass 3D premiere, but I honestly didn't think anything of it. Turns out, her solo outing might have been a signal that she and Jesse are either on the rocks, or may already be over:
[From People] It wouldn't surprise me if they were over. And I could see either of them doing the dumping, too. Jesse could have dumped Kat because she's a famewhore and she was just using the relationship for attention. Kat could have dumped him for the same reasons, or because she wasn't interested in being a step-mom, or because Jesse is more screwed up than she expected. I don't know, I'm just speculating. I'm just saying, it wouldn't surprise me at all if People's reporting was right on the money.    | |||||||||||
| Is Angelina Jolie being “sabotaged” or is she just paranoid? Posted: 15 Oct 2010 06:59 AM PDT It seems like all of the European paparazzi have flooded into Budapest where Angelina Jolie is working on her directorial debut, so we're probably going to have lots and lots of new photos. Aren't you excited? I am. Anyway, another day, another controversy. I was prepared to write this piece about someone trying to "sabotage" Angelina because that's what some dude said in her defense. But Angelina released a statement about the controversy too, which I will bring to you in a minute. First, a recap: earlier this week, some officials in Bosnia, plus some radio personalities were claiming that this film production wasn't allowed in Bosnia because the story line involved a rape victim falling in love with her rapist. This was offensive to many, many people, including several rape-victim-advocacy groups, who were releasing statements and raising money on the issue. As it turns out though, that story line was kind of pulled out of thin air. A producer on the film denied the story to several media outlets, and now the whole thing is playing out in the American tabloids too. Then, yesterday, a "production source" on the film went to Us Weekly and said: “This is not the story in the script. There are people trying to sabotage the movie.” DUN DUN DUN. Hours later, Angelina released her own statement:
[From Us Weekly] There's the theory that people were calling the story "rape" just because it involves a Serbian man and a Bosnian woman falling in love, you know? So was this all just a big misunderstanding? Or is there something darker at play? Or is this all just business as usual with the circus-like media speculation, half-truths, crappy reporting, lies and sensationalism that follow the Jolie-Pitt family? Or is it… DUN DUN DUN… the gerbils of DOOM?!? Speaking of sensationalism and lies, one more thing - remember the story about Angelina and Brad making their kids' school take drastic measures to ensure privacy? Like, not even the kids to speak to their parents about Empress Zahara and her plans for global domination. Well, that report (from Us Weekly) was probably crap too. According to Life & Style:
[From Life & Style] I would pay good money to see Shiloh and Zahara do traditional Hungarian folk dancing. Wouldn't you? Angelina in Budapest on October 14, 2010. Credit: Fame.    | |||||||||||
| Raccoon McPantless: “Guys can masturbate. So why can’t girls?” Posted: 15 Oct 2010 06:26 AM PDT Yesterday, we brought you the offensive cover of Revolver Magazine, whose cover girl is everybody's favorite raccoon, Taylor Momsen. Some of you thought the guns were offensive. I was offended by her crotch. Others were like "whatever." Well, in any case, people are still talking about it, analyzing what a pantless, loaded raccoon means to society, and whether she's just as bad or even worse than Miley and all of that junk. Honestly, Raccoon McPantless offends me more than Miley. Even though Miley has issues and does dumb sh-t too, I get the feeling that part of Miley's deal is that she's a screwed girl still struggling to make sense of her life. Raccoon is just a jackass trying to get attention by doing and saying dumb sh-t. She's like an ungodly combination of Megan Fox and Courtney Love. On that note, I bring you some interview excerpts from Raccoon's Revolver interview:
[From PopDash] The Tommy Lee comment, obviously, is getting a lot of attention. But that just seems like a dumb girl talking sh-t. I don't give Tommy credit for much, but I certainly hope he's smart enough to not utter one f-cking word about Raccoon. What really bothers me is the masturbation quote, though. This from a girl who said her vibrator was her best friend. This from a 17 year old who thinks that she's being groundbreaking by talking about touching herself. Raccoon, please. It wasn't even scandalous when Madonna was talking about this sh-t. F-cking poseur. Revolver photos courtesy of Egotastic & The Superficial. Additional pic by WENN.    | |||||||||||
| Russell Brand says his wedding with Katy Perry will be ’sort of normal’ Posted: 15 Oct 2010 06:23 AM PDT
[From People] That’s sweet. I wonder when these two are going to get married and if they’re on the same page when it comes to planning their wedding. MSNBC has an excerpt from Brand’s book and his writing flows quickly and is full of laugh-out-loud moments. In the chapter online he’s describing his first experiences on the set of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and how he tried to hit on Kristen Bell and then Mila Kunis but was dejected to learn they had boyfriends. Here’s how he explains striking out with Bell and then finding out that Kunis’ boyfriend was Macaulay Culkin.
[From Booky Wook 2 via MSNBC] I haven’t read Brand’s first book, but I’ll definitely pick it up now. He’s such a character and I loved him in Get Him To The Greek.    | |||||||||||
| Is Gerard Butler hitting on pretty boy Jared Leto? Posted: 15 Oct 2010 06:04 AM PDT Happy, lucky day! We have more photos of Gerard Butler! Too bad the photos aren't all that awesome, and that Gerard looks like a homeless mobster (or moobster, if you will). These are photos, bizarrely enough, of Jared Leto's photo shoot for Hugo Boss - I guess he's "modeling" - which makes him a SELLOUT. Anyway, Jared the Pretty Boy was shooting somewhere in NYC, and Gerard Butler stopped by the photo shoot to say hello. I swear to God, it looks like Gerard is flirting with Jared. That's his "do you want to hit this Scottish dong?" pose. I recognize it. Just as I recognize his "trolling for strange" posture. In other Gerard news, Just Jared has some photos of Gerry out house-hunting (loft-hunting) in NYC yesterday too. I guess he's getting rid of the NY apartment he already has? The one that is decorated like a Moroccan-meets-English-country whorehouse? The one he showed off to Architectural Digest? The one with all the pick furniture and the killer kitchen. He must have known that it would just be easier for the two of us to start from scratch in a new place, rather than having me come in and try to take the "whorehouse" out of his existing apartment. He's so thoughtful! Also, Gerard is still out and living large in NYC, because he also stopped by a party thrown for Hilary Swank for Conviction. They worked together on that turn of a film, P.S. I Love You (Gerard's Irish accent was maybe the worst thing ever). I don't think there's anything between them, because neither of them is really the other's type. But maybe they're friendly. Gerard and Jared on October 14, 2010. Credit: Bauer-Griffin.    | |||||||||||
| Gabourey Sidibe thinks her childhood apartment was haunted Posted: 15 Oct 2010 05:51 AM PDT
To all the people who are going to immediately rag on Gabby for her weight - watch a little of the videos first. (I don’t know why I’m bothering to say that, as it’s not like those people are going to read this far.) If you can’t do so at work and were just going to write some variation of “she’s big,” please wait to comment until you can get home and watch them. I would like to make this about her interview, not about her size. Yes it’s hard not to notice and she is “unhealthy” at that weight, but I doubt the people who are prone to mocking her care about her health at all. I understand the need to comment on it, but please no flame wars. Getting back to the ghost issue - I agree with Kimmel that it was probably an issue of kids with overactive imaginations. I don’t believe in ghosts now, but there was a time when I did. I saw a few supernatural things that seemed real to me. Unlike Gabby I wasn’t avoiding drugs much at that point and I’m sure that would explain a lot of it. I would have had a lot more than just some pot lollipops in Amsterdam. Thanks to ONTD for the heads up on these videos. There’s also a cute skit, the third one below, where Gabby tells Jimmy that she needs him to help out a sick kid. It’s pretty funny.    | |||||||||||
| Oprah crashes The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (and Stephen Colbert) Posted: 15 Oct 2010 05:30 AM PDT The Rally to Restory Sanity/March To Keep Fear Alive is coming up quickly! Only two weeks to go, bitches. Anyway, The Daily Show last night was epic - it's their last show until they go to DC, one week from now. On last night's episode, Stephen Colbert video-bombed Jon in the opening minutes of the show. Jon and Stephen discussed how the Fear rally didn't have a permit, and they decided to join their rallies into "The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear". That was good enough… but then a special quest star came on via video link around the 6 minute mark.
OPRAH!!! When Jon was on Oprah's show a few weeks ago, she told him that she was hurt that she had never gotten an invitation on his show, and he basically told her she was always welcome. So she "snuck on set" and left tickets for every audience member to come to the DC rally! That's so OPRAH! It was actually very cute. For more information about The Rally to Restore Sanity, go here.    | |||||||||||
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