Cele|bitchy |
- Kate Middleton & Prince William are finally, officially engaged after nine years
- Britney Spears, for the love of God, just shave your head again
- Did Jessica Simpson buy her own $100,000 Neil Lane ring?
- Carey Mulligan’s Chanel for the CFDA event: tragic, dated, or gorgeous?
- Brad Pitt’s Plan B offers Chilean miners “millions of dollars” for film rights
- Jeff Bridges, Stephen Colbert & James Franco named as GQ’s Men of the Year
- Christina Aguilera: drunken, drag-queen hot mess, or not that bad?
- Emma Watson in Calvin Klein at the NYC Potter premiere: gorgeous or boring?
- Jane Fonda downplays breast cancer diagnosis, says she’s now cancer free
- Lindsay Lohan’s secret trauma: she has anxiety!
| Kate Middleton & Prince William are finally, officially engaged after nine years Posted: 16 Nov 2010 08:52 AM PST I got up early this morning (because I am hungover, ugh), and I was shocked at the Today Show's first story: the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton! This wasn't supposed to happen until next year or the year after! Oh, well. It's all official and everything - William officially proposed to Kate in October while they were in Kenya (on one of their eight annual holidays), and the idea is that they will have the wedding next Spring or Summer (nail it down Kate!) some time. Waity Katie waits no more! After nine long years, she's going to be a bride, her only goal, ever. Here's the official statement:
[From People] People Magazine also has a quote from an "old friend" who claims: “Everyone is absolutely delighted. He has never had eyes for any other woman since Kate came on the scene. She is going to make a wonderful wife, a wonderful princess.” Yeah, he's never had eyes for anyone else except all of those women that he went off with after dumping Kate multiple times from 2002-2007 (here for Vanity Fair's article on the history of their breakups). Granted, 2007-2010 has been a lot more stable for the couple, but enough with the whitewash. Okay, so I have to eat sh-t for some things, and I have to take credit for some things. Here's a convenient list: *I honestly didn't think the engagement would happen right now. I really did think that William would make Kate wait for another couple of years. My bad. * I told you Katie Nicholl at The Mail knew what she was talking about. That bitch has sources in the Middleton family. My suspects: Carole Middleton (Kate’s mom) or Kate herself. *I will take credit for knowing that Kate's parents appearance at Balmoral just a few weeks ago was significant, and a good sign for their relationship. *I really, really wanted Will to dump Kate after she was content to be his doormat, beck-and-call girl for nine long years. I thought it would provide a valuable life lesson to young women all over the world: do not spend that much time waiting around for a ring, and doing nothing else. Get a job, do some charity work, make the dude wait around for you once in a while. Instead, little girls are now getting an entirely different life lesson: if you wait long enough and do nothing but run to your man every time he calls, and take him back after he screws around on you repeatedly, then you too can win the big prize of a ring. Ugh. That being said, congratulations to the happy couple. I'm really looking forward to the engagement interview - I've never heard Kate's voice before. Here's the Today Show's video for the engagement announcement: Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin.      |
| Britney Spears, for the love of God, just shave your head again Posted: 16 Nov 2010 08:50 AM PST SURPRISE! Britney's hair is still jacked to hell. And now she's back to flashing her panties, although this is a top-of-the-thong flash, as opposed to an open-leg/short-skirt flash. So… small miracles? And honestly, her clothes look like they fit and she's wearing panties, so she's doing a lot better. It seems kind of sad that all I've got on Britney Spears today is her consistently f-cked up weave. I've already said so much about the state of it - I don't know why she forces herself to live with this junk. I wish I had some kind of statement from her about her parents' reconciliation, and how happy she was. Instead, we get The Weave on Parade, with costume changes. Sigh… Britney…JUST SHAVE IT OFF. Photos courtesy of Fame.    |
| Did Jessica Simpson buy her own $100,000 Neil Lane ring? Posted: 16 Nov 2010 08:23 AM PST
Jessica Simpson is aware of our judgment. She sees our judgment, and she is prepared to give us a media extravaganza in order to prove her love, to prove that THIS LOVE is for real. Since announcing her engagement on Sunday, Team Farty McObvious has issued a dozen different missives to Us Weekly, People Magazine, Styleist, and PopEater, amongst others. They are trying to create a story about two people who hooked up five months ago and fell crashingly in love with each other and are now going to marry and have lots of babies because it's true love and it has nothing to do with NICK LACHEY. Anyway, now that we've gotten the talk about her pervert father, the dire need for a prenup, and the alleged details of the 11/11 proposal out of the way, it's time to discuss the ring, yet again. We still don't have photos of the ring - a ruby with two diamonds, set in yellow gold, but you can see the ring here. Apparently, ruby is Jessica's birthstone. I've already said it looks like a tacky mall ring, and that if Eric picked it out, he has horrible taste. But now PopEater is theorizing that Jessica might have picked this sh-t out, and that she likely paid for it too. Oh, and it's Neil Lane. Ugh.
[From PopEater] Do I judge Jessica for buying her own ring? I don't actually. I think it makes good sense for a woman if she's wealthier than her future husband to not only buy her own ring, but to pick it out as well. I mean, this is the ring that you will theoretically be wearing for the rest of your life. Why not get a good one? Of course, if Jessica did pick it out, then she's the one with tacky style. Also - while I don't judge Jessica for the ring, I do judge her for being with a guy who can't be bothered to do anything but be at her beck and call. Eric Johnson is like the new Kate Middleton. Speaking of: Jessica totally got media c-ckblocked by Kate Middleton, right? HA. And you thought the next six months were going to be about non-stop Jessica's Wedding bullsh-t. Now Kate will get all of the attention meant for Jessica. That'll teach Jessica from trying to c-ckblock Nick Lachey. Header: Jessica Simpson, courtesy of WENN.    |
| Carey Mulligan’s Chanel for the CFDA event: tragic, dated, or gorgeous? Posted: 16 Nov 2010 07:51 AM PST Last night there was a dinner to benefit the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund, and several celebrities came out to eat and raise money. Karl Lagerfeld does not approve of any of it, from the eating to the fashion to the general atmosphere, as you can tell. Probably because there was some especially bad fashion at a fashion event, and perhaps because The Kaiser designed a couple of these bad dresses. Take Carey Mulligan, in Chanel. I f-cking hate this dress. If it was just the dress, maybe I could like it, but the bejeweled shrug/caplet thing is just horrible. It makes her look like she's stepped off the Dynasty set. I dislike the booties too. The only good thing about this - Carey learned at the event that she was cast as Daisy Buchanan in Baz Luhrmann's version of The Great Gatsby (starring Leo D.). Baz called her at the event, and she was so happy she burst into tears! Good for her. Next up: Christina Ricci and her bangs trauma. A few months ago, Ricci was looking great. Not so much anymore. I hate the bangs, and I hate the dress too. Blake Lively was there too, with her boobs looking especially jacked. Ugh. She was up for the part of Daisy - sucks to be her. Do you think Zac Posen is at all perturbed that Kim Kardashian's Kat-Face was his date? You know who used to be his date for these events? Natalie Portman. And now all he can scrounge up is Kim. Ugh. And last but not least, the Olsens. JESUS. These two need an exorcism. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Brad Pitt’s Plan B offers Chilean miners “millions of dollars” for film rights Posted: 16 Nov 2010 07:19 AM PST Brad Pitt is a whore for tragedy. Not really, but Brad and his production company Plan B do seem to love the stories of real-life dramas, plus some weepy fictional melodramas. So it comes as no surprise that Brad and Plan B have offered those Chilean miners a movie deal - the miners were stuck in that mine since August, and were only rescued in October. And now Brad Pitt wants to tell their story, and he's offered them a deal "in the millions" for the rights. Damn.
[From People] Would I see this movie? Only if they made it authentic and used unknown actors - because if Hollywood had their way, they would be casting James Franco, Cheech Marin and Robert Pattinson as three of the Chilean miners. I would even be disappointed if they got someone like Javier Bardem, just because… well, I saw those miners, and while I'm sure they're nice men, none of them looked like Javi. Maybe Diego Luna? That wouldn't be so bad. Gael Garcia Bernal, too. Sigh… now I'm going to be casting Hispanic men all day. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Jeff Bridges, Stephen Colbert & James Franco named as GQ’s Men of the Year Posted: 16 Nov 2010 06:50 AM PST As we saw yesterday, the time has come for the end-of-the-year lists and fake awards naming people The Most or The Best of Year. GQ named Scarlett Johansson the "Babe of the Year" and now they've released their other People of the Year. Jeff Bridges got Man of the Year, for his Oscar win and his upcoming roles in Tron and True Grit. Plus, you know, Jeff is just awesome and everyone loves and respects him. My favorite was Stephen Colbert, who GQ named as "Patriot of the Year". I just love this photo of Colbert bleeding red, white and blue. It's a great shot. I wish he was wearing his glasses though! Drake was named "Breakout of the Year" because you can't turn on a radio these days without hearing him, and hey, it's well-deserved. And James Franco was named "Leading Actor of the Year" probably because everyone thinks he's going to at the very least be nominated for Best Actor for his role in 127 Hours. It’s interesting seeing him clean-shaven, and I almost didn’t recognize him. All in all, not a bad list. Photos courtesy of GQ.    |
| Christina Aguilera: drunken, drag-queen hot mess, or not that bad? Posted: 16 Nov 2010 06:30 AM PST I don't even know where to start with Christina Aguilera these days. Yesterday was a big day for her - she received (paid for) a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and she had her big premiere of Burlesque, with CHER. Sigh… okay, let's do the Walk of Fame stuff first. Christina was drunk off her ass, judging solely from these photos. Her hair was a mess, her makeup was applied with a shovel, and she came close to flashing her cooter at the world. She's just a f-cking mess. Next up, the Burlesque premiere. Cher looked especially waxy, like she had just frozen herself in 1989. Christina is wearing Elie Saab, it seems, although I first thought it was Roberto Cavalli, because Elisabetta Canalis wore an almost identical dress LAST YEAR to the Venice Film Festival, only Eli's Cavalli was more of a blue-green, and Xtina's is just green. Almost the same cut, though. Is Elie Saab copying last year's Cavalli? A discussion for another time - Christina looked totally jacked for the premiere too, and her cotton candy hair is just… f-cking tragic. She could be a cute girl, but I have no idea why she feels like these drag queen styles are good for her. I'm not even joking about the drag queens either - there are drag performers who wear less makeup than Christina. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Emma Watson in Calvin Klein at the NYC Potter premiere: gorgeous or boring? Posted: 16 Nov 2010 05:48 AM PST These are all photos from the New York premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I. Jesus, isn't this Calvin Klein dress beautiful on Emma Watson? Like, it's just perfect. The cut is gorgeous, the color is great (perhaps a little too dark, but black looks wonderful on her), and the makeup, accessories and styling are fabulous. Emma Watson gets it right consistently, bless her heart. The simplicity of the cut works so well on her slender figure - a girl with a bigger bust (me) could not pull this off at all. Also: Emma's date last night was her brother, Alex. Alex is rather hot. Okay, he's really hot. But I don't know how old he is, so I'm trying to tamp down the cougar. Look at Emma's bracelet thing - it's fabulous. I love that Rupert Grint went with a three-piece suit. He looks good in a vest! So cute. Guess who else was at the NYC premiere? My love, Ralph Fiennes. And he brought Liam Neeson along as his date! I love that Liam and Ralph are so incredibly tight, I really do. They show up to each other's premieres all the time, they go on vacations together, and they just seem like they're really close, really "real" friends. Also: I could eat Ralph off a cracker. THIS MAN. Photos courtesy of WENN.    |
| Jane Fonda downplays breast cancer diagnosis, says she’s now cancer free Posted: 16 Nov 2010 05:46 AM PST News has come out that Jane Fonda, 72, was diagnosed with a non-invasive form of breast cancer after a routine scan at her doctor’s office. Fonda addressed this on her blog, writing simply that it’s true and that she’s fine now. She wrote “As the press has reported today, I had a scare with a non-invasive breast cancer but it is ALL OUT NOW!!! I am so lucky. We got it early and it was, as I said, non-invasive. I want to thanks my friends and fans who have written beautiful letters. It has meant a lot to me.” It sounds like she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it and that she’s not going to address it much further. Here’s what her rep told People:
[From People] This came out last week but I missed it for some reason. I love that Fonda has a DVD to promote but that she’s completely blowing off her cancer scare and is acting like it’s not a big deal. I’m glad she’s ok and that this was caught very early. The National Cancer institute recommends that women in their 40s and up have a routine mammogram every 1-2 years. Meanwhile Rosie O’Donnell is undergoing her own cancer scare after doctors found two lumps in her breasts. She had an MRI and a biopsy and is waiting for the results. Rosie’s mom died from breast cancer at just 39 years old. Be well Rosie! Note by Kaiser: Isn’t her son Troy Garity hot? I love him. He’s a good actor too.    |
| Lindsay Lohan’s secret trauma: she has anxiety! Posted: 16 Nov 2010 05:27 AM PST This story made me laugh out loud. I mean… I'll buy that Lindsay Lohan is a victim of her predatory parents, of Hollywood, of her various drug and alcohol addictions. But let's not gild the lily, okay? She's not poor, pathetic Lindsay who is a victim of everyone and everything - she's a cold little sociopath, a crack hustler who will lie, cheat, steal and f-ck her way into getting what she wants. Case in point: Lindsay has been given leeway to leave her "Sober House" for her LA "Crack House" several times already. How did she talk her way into that, especially given that she's supposed to be in rehab past the holidays, by court order? Ugh. Anyway, Radar reports that the latest "Lindsay is a victim, for reals" story is that Lindsay Lohan has secretly battled… anxiety. Yes, she's anxious. Just wait until you hear WHY she's anxious:
[From Radar] She's anxious because she hijacked a car! Poor, poor Lindsay. She's the real victim in all of this, now I can see it! Now, don't get the impression that I'm making fun of people with genuine anxiety disorders - I'm not. I went through a stage where I had some very scary panic attacks and I was briefly put on antidepressants (which I swiftly went off of). I'm just saying, it sucks, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm also saying that Lindsay needs to stop with the drug-seeking behavior, because this sounds suspiciously like she's making a play to go back on some prescription meds. One last thing about the crack hustler: she wants to go home to New York for a Crackhead Christmas. It's like she didn't hear one word that her judge said - that she needed to be in rehab through the holidays, because that's when many people seek out drugs and alcohol. Photos courtesy of Fame.    |
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