Crushable

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• The Daily WTF: Frankentoy
• Hypercolor Flying Shoes!
• Video: The Worst Movie Line Ever
• Paris Hilton's Guide To Generic Halloween Costumes
• Fan Fiction: Godard Writes An Episode Of 'House, M.D.'
• Suggested Chapter Titles For Snooki's Novel
• Video: Justin Timberlake Rap School
• Gallery: Hot Dudes Of The New Fall Lineup

The Daily WTF: Frankentoy Posted: 30 Sep 2010 10:26 AM PDT Our new favorite Etsy user is some dude who calls himself Frankentoys. This, um, artist takes apart stuffed animals and sews them back together in bizarre combination with other animals. It’s like somebody nuked a Toys ‘R Us! In addition to the mutant flounder from Finding Nemo, our pal Frank also offers a two-headed Winnie the Pooh, a Mr. Potato Head dinosaur and Tigger with a teapot head. We’re not sure what on earth child would actually want to own one of these. Maybe some relative of David Lynch? Stop playing God, Frankentoys! (via Regretsy) Post from: Crushable The Daily WTF: Frankentoy

Hypercolor Flying Shoes! Posted: 30 Sep 2010 09:46 AM PDT Our sister site The Gloss posted a photo the other day of these white Adidas that gave a new meaning to the phrase “wing-tipped.” But then we found the same shoes in what we are praying is hypercolor, and were like “Whoa.” Post from: Crushable Hypercolor Flying Shoes!

Posted: 30 Sep 2010 09:29 AM PDT Win a Lunch Date with Allison Brie – The Mad Men and Community star is being auctioned off for an exclusive, two-person lunch engagement on Ebay. The bidding so far is up to almost $1,600, and there’s 10 hours left. Creepy? *Places bid* (Ebay) Post from: Crushable

Video: The Worst Movie Line Ever Posted: 30 Sep 2010 09:25 AM PDT When we spotted this post on Buzzfeed with a headline billing it as the worst movie line ever we were skeptical. There are some pretty bad quotables out there. I mean, have you seen Notting Hill? And what about Braveheart? But then we watched the clip and we had to agree. This is, in fact, the single worst movie line we’ve ever heard. Way to go, Howling III! Post from: Crushable Video: The Worst Movie Line Ever

Paris Hilton's Guide To Generic Halloween Costumes Posted: 30 Sep 2010 09:12 AM PDT Trying to decide what costume you want to sluttify for Halloween can be a difficult process. But Halloween’s just around the corner, and there’s nothing worse than rushing around to find slutty outfits at the last minute. If you need some slutty inspiration this year, look no further than Paris Hilton’s closet. The socialite loves skimpy outfits, and when it comes time for Halloween, she will stop at nothing to present the most generic outfit using the least amount of clothing to do so. In fact, it seems like she dresses up for Halloween at least three times a year. Paris has been just about every random slutty costume you could imagine. Take a look at our gallery to see how you can Get. That. Look. Post from: Crushable Paris Hilton's Guide To Generic Halloween Costumes

Fan Fiction: Godard Writes An Episode Of 'House, M.D.' Posted: 30 Sep 2010 09:11 AM PDT Famed New Wave director Jean-Luc Godard recently commented that his favorite television show was House, M.D., saying “There is a sick person, everybody gathers around him, the characters express themselves in a hyper technical language, I like it. But I couldn't watch 10 episodes in a row.” Of course, that was before Fox producers allowed the director of Breathless and Contempt a shot at directing his own episode. (Interior: Princeton Medical Hospital, the cafeteria. Male doctors and attendants and women nurses mill about the room, chatting and smoking cigarettes. The sound of their laughter intermittently cuts out as we pan around the room, leaving the silence to be filled by the deep sound of heavy breathing. Inhale, exhale. We finally rest on the source of the noise: Dr. House, M.D. He is with his friend, the blonde radiologist who looks like a woman.) Dr. Wilson: …and that is when I realized it was not love I felt for my last wife, but pure sensuality. Dr. House: You think like a woman, my friend. You are so quick to love, confusing it for passion. Dr. Wilson: (takes drag of cigarette, thinking) That may be true, but your pain keeps you hidden. Dr. House: Do not talk in metaphors. I am in pain, always. Dr. Wilson: Physical, or existential? Dr. House: There is not difference. Walk with me. (Interior: Hospital hallways. The camera tracks House and Wilson as they walk past the patients’ rooms. We see milieus of hospital scenes: a woman, crying by an empty bedside; a family, shouting angrily at each other.) Dr. House: We surround ourselves by sickness and death to prepare for our own mortality. But there is no preparation for the stray gunshot, or falling out a window. Life is random and chaotic. Dr. Wilson: (nodding solemnly) Everybody dies. (They enter a hospital room. Dr Lisa Cuddy, head of the hospital — and a woman?! — dances slowly to a Bridgette Bardot song in a blonde wing. The camera gazes ironically at her undulating form.) Dr. House: (spits on floor, lights up a cigarette) What are you doing here? This little girl is going to die unless I replace all her blood with milk using this fancy new American machine. Dr. Cuddy: I know. House, I love you. (House slaps her in the face. They kiss passionately.) Dr. House: You are a deceitful whore. Dr. Wilson: House! Your patient is dying. (The three gather around the little girl, jaundiced. She coughs and a thin trickle of blood flows from her lips.) Little girl: I see now…there is no heaven. Dr. House: No, there is no God either. Dr. Cuddy: You are a bastard. (House uses fancy American machine, replaces girls blood with milk. She still dies, but not before an Angelic smile plays across her features and her eyes gaze upwards…towards something better? No.) Dr. Wilson: She is dead. Dr. Cuddy: I am taking away your fancy American pills until you are a better doctor, House. Dr. House: I am the best doctor. Did I not cure her condition? Dr. Wilson: You killed her! Dr. House: Correct. Her condition was…life. Dr. Cuddy: Here are your pills. I love you. (House slaps her again, and then gets on his motorcycle in the hallway. He puts on his leather jacket and sunglasses, and looks back towards his friends.) Dr. House: Ce n’est pas un lupus. FIN Post from: Crushable Fan Fiction: Godard Writes An Episode Of 'House, M.D.'

Suggested Chapter Titles For Snooki's Novel Posted: 30 Sep 2010 10:21 AM PDT What’s that incessant wailing? Why, it’s the sound of a million creative writing majors weeping. That’s right, while the rest of us have resigned ourselves to rolling calls at Random House, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi has landed herself a book deal. The novel, tentatively called A Shore Thing, will tell the story of a young guidette looking for love on the boardwalk. This is certainly surprising news coming from the woman who tweeted she was reading the very first book of her life earlier this year (do they not have lit classes in Marlboro?), Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John. Next up, Tolstoy! We thought we’d help Snook out by offering some chapter titles for the JS star’s debut: 1. Princess of Poughkeepsie 2. DTF 3. Nice Juiced Hot Tanned Guy 4. DTL(ove) 5. I Can’t See Any Ice Creams, I Can’t See Any Customers, Cuz I’m a F*ckin’ Smurf Post from: Crushable Suggested Chapter Titles For Snooki's Novel

Posted: 30 Sep 2010 08:25 AM PDT Man wins lottery twice in a year – The luckiest person on earth? Some guy in Missouri. Ernest Pullen scored big in June when he won $1.36 mil on a scratch-off ticket, and this month he hauled in even more dough. Talk about greedy! The first million bucks wasn’t enough for ol’ Ernest? (via Reuters) Post from: Crushable

Video: Justin Timberlake Rap School Posted: 30 Sep 2010 08:11 AM PDT Justin Timberlake’s comedic timing may not always be impeccable, but you know what’s great? Watching him do a medley of rap songs through the ages with Jimmy Fallon. And The Roots! Woot. You’re welcome. This impromptu rap schooling happened last night on Late Night With Jimmy Fallen (obvs). But special bonus points to Justin for his spot on Snoop and Eminem impersonations. And for carrying off a Roots song with the actual Roots right behind him. Post from: Crushable Video: Justin Timberlake Rap School

Gallery: Hot Dudes Of The New Fall Lineup Posted: 30 Sep 2010 08:05 AM PDT Is Michael Pitt cuter than Ben Rappaport? What about Daniel Dae Kim? Can’t we just stick all the dudes of new TV into a blender and create the ultimate fall lineup fantasy boyfriend? Michael’s killer-bee-stung pout makes us appreciate Boardwalk Empire even more, and duds like Outsourced and My Generation have at least given us a whole new slew of boys to crush on. Post from: Crushable Gallery: Hot Dudes Of The New Fall Lineup

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