Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly


The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.31.11

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 02:45 PM PDT

George Clooney Photobomb Cindy Crawford Rande Gerber Diane Kruger Cleavage Venice Film Festival Sarah Jessica Parker Old Hands 
“I said, I fucked your wife! God, this motor’s loud…” Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Alysa Milano looking exactly like a woman who’s ready to pop at any minute, and she did this morning, Alexander Skarsgard sniffing out a new lovah and Great Caesar’s Ghost, Adrianne Curry really is fucking random nerds Read More ...

Minka Kelly Bangs This Guy Now

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 01:45 PM PDT

Minka Kelly Ramon Rodriguez Charlies Angels Minka Kelly Ramon Rodriguez Charlies Angels Minka Kelly Ramon Rodriguez Charlies Angels 
According to TooFab, the now-single Minka Kelly is already not-single because she’s having a “growing late-night relationship” (So I’m not the only one who wakes up with that? Thank God.) with Ramon Rodriguez who you might remember from such roles as Omar’s boyfriend on The Wire or Shia LaBeouf’s roommate in Transformers: This Time With Read More ...

Mel Gibson Made Court Faces Again

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 12:49 PM PDT

Mel Gibson Court Faces Mel Gibson Court Faces Mel Gibson Court Faces 
Mel Gibson was in court this morning for reasons that aren’t really important, so just assume he somehow managed to only pay Oksana Grigorieva a settlement that’s a shart in the bucket to him because the California court system is afraid of getting Third Reich’d in the face. Because that’s exactly what happened. What is Read More ...

And Now For Your Pretentious Celebrity Vegan Quote of The Day

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:45 AM PDT

Anthony Kiedis Maxim Anthony Kiedis Maxim Anthony Kiedis Maxim 
You're a vegan. For your last meal would you go for a fatty steak or just some tempeh? I'm not a true vegan. I dabble in sustainable fish and dawdle in the consumption of eggs. Steak doesn't speak to me, and tempeh is so-so. I'll savor a solitary apricot that's been kissed by my baby. Read More ...

Giuliana Rancic Trolled LeAnn Rimes Like A Harp From Wherever People Don’t Eat

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 10:54 AM PDT

LeAnn Rimes Bikini Giuliana Rancic LeAnn Rimes Bikini Giuliana Rancic LeAnn Rimes Bikini Giuliana Rancic 
While most of us recognize LeAnn Rimes‘s Holocaustiesque frame as the prime example of perfect health, Giuliana Rancic decided to get her name out there in the easiest way possible by publicly saying LeAnn looks too skinny. It’s practically the new conveniently-leaked sex tape. Via The Huffington Post: “She lost a lot of weight from Read More ...

Hello, Rose McGowan And Other News

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 10:20 AM PDT

Rose McGowan Short Shorts Rose McGowan Short Shorts Rose McGowan Short Shorts 
Posted by Photo Boy - Snooki is ready for the Fox News anchor desk. - Shannon Doherty wants you to go back to school. - Contact with George Clooney‘s penis is the newest prerequisite for Dancing With The Stars. - Meanwhile, an alarm just sounded at Adrianne Curry‘s house. Read More ...

George Lucas is Still Raping Childhoods

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 09:33 AM PDT

George Lucas Star Wars Blu Ray George Lucas Star Wars Blu Ray George Lucas Star Wars Blu Ray 
“Rape will keep the local systems in line. Also, neck pouches.” If you haven’t heard the sound of millions of Internet voices suddenly crying out in terror and were suddenly silenced, George Lucas has altered the original Star Wars trilogy again for next month’s Blu-ray release, according to Badass Digest‘s Drew Faraci who has confirmed Read More ...

Who Likes Their Superman Extra Bulgy?

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 08:51 AM PDT

Henry Cavill Superman Costume No Red Underwear Bulge Henry Cavill Superman Costume No Red Underwear Bulge Henry Cavill Superman Costume No Red Underwear Bulge 
God, I hope this is in 3D… I mean, who said that? Following this summer’s trend of filming blockbusters in clear view of the paparazzi, here are shots of Henry Cavill on the set of Zack Snyder’s Superman: Man of Steel which we can now say with throbbing accuracy is red underwear-free. (Which, yes, I Read More ...

Here’s How Madonna Stays In Shape For Her Man-Child

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 08:50 AM PDT

Madonna Workout Madonna Workout Madonna Workout 
If you’re like me, you often wonder how Madonna keeps herself in prime, looking like she’s dying physical condition for stealing and/or dating children depending on which direction the blood crystal points in the morn. Turns out her secret is rigorous soccer ball lifting. One hour of soccer ball lifting in the morning, followed by Read More ...

Kris Humphries Won’t Be Asked If It’s In Yet Tonight

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 06:59 AM PDT

Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy 
In related news, Vivid Entertainment has made contact with the “mystery buyer” of Kim Kardashian’s sex tape and set the price at $30 million along with basically admitting this is all just a giant PR stunt for Kim by making the following ham-fisted statement to TMZ: “I have no idea who is behind this offer Read More ...

Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton

Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton


Is Katy Perry Making Hummingbird Heartbeat A Single?

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 12:45 PM PDT

Okay, so it's not our first choice of Peacock (silly radio heads), but we're obsessed with Hummingbird Heartbeat too!

The original version from Teenage Dream is already fantastic, so learning we may get a twerked edition of the song has us pumped!

Nothing is official, of course, but there's plenty of speculation!

Video of the Year winner Katy Perry and producer Tricky Stewart tweet:

In da studio with @trickystewart I love him! He gives me that hummingbird heartbeat!!! Follow him!!!

Great day working with @katyperry. Making history!!

HmmMMmm.... bird heartbeat!!!!

Ahh! We are SO excited to hear this!

But we wonder, was Katy possibly just working on a new album?

Girlfriend! We're in suspense!!!

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

P.P.S. CLICK HERE to "like" Perez on Facebook!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

ABC News To Air Marc Anthony's First Post-Split Interview!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 12:30 PM PDT

Oh boy. Here it comes.

Tomorrow, for the first time since their breakup, Marc Anthony will talk about his split from Jennifer Lopez.

ABC News nabbed the exclusive rights to Marc's first post-split interview and will air the sit-down in two parts. The first segment will run during Thursday's edition of Good Morning America, Then, there will be a special Nightline on Thursday night dedicated to the rest of the interview.

From what we've seen of the promo (above) it sounds like Marc will go into some detail about what caused them to split and if they still have a future together. He even at one point says that he'll "always love Jennifer."

Don't know if this was such a good idea if you're planning on getting back into her good graces, Marc. Guess we'll have to wait and see what you say to make a better judgement.

America's Got Talent Gives NBC Another Win!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 12:20 PM PDT

America's Got Talent continues to soar in the ratings department (except for that one time when Big Brother and SYTYCD beat its ass), making NBC the big winner of the summer.

Tuesday night's episode brought in a total of 10.9 million viewers, which is a slow, but steady increase from last year's ratings.

In fact, the show's ratings go up even higher, by about 14% in its second hour.

CBS came in second with their rerun of NCIS and ABC and Fox trailed far behind with their reruns.

Oh wells.

Good for you, though, NBC. Guess it goes to show that people will always love watching talent competition shows no matter what.

Rob Kardashian's Momma Made Him Do DWTS!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 12:10 PM PDT

At least that's more fun than being forced to clean your room!

During a recent interview, Rob Kardashian opened up about joining the upcoming season of ABC's Dancing With the Stars, and he's blaming his mom for getting him to do the show!

Here's what he had to say about it:

"I'm actually shocked that I'm doing it -- I'm very low-key and really don't like being in the spotlight, but my mom forced me. That's the real reason I'm doing it!"

"She forced Kim to do it, too! [My family] told me that I had better beat Kim as she's a terrible dancer, and if I couldn't do this, then I had a problem. I'm just hoping that I do well."

And here's Rob on his desire to lose weight on the show:

"I weigh more than I've ever weighed, at more than 200 pounds. I'm usually always in shape, but I've been enjoying not working out and eating crap, so I'll use this to really start getting in shape!"

We like what we're hearing, Rob! And don't worry, we're sure your mom will be proud of you...as long as you win the competition. Ha!

Have U ever been forced to compete in a reality TV series by your mom???

[Image via WENN.]

Julianne Hough Responds To Photo Leak

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 12:00 PM PDT

And you know what? Girl doesn't even care! She ain't bothered one damn bit!

Maybe that's because there wasn't want to see to begin with!

Picture from Julianne Hough's phone leaked onto the Internet and to be frank, girlfriend is rather boring. There were no nudie pics, no shots of her doing blow. Just a slew of normal, non-racy shots of Julianne, her BF Ryan Seacrest and her dog. So boring...and so refreshing.

Still, even with very little incriminating content on the Internet, she was still asked to comment about the leak in a recent interview. She obliged and said exactly what we thought she might. Julianne said:

"Well, it actually got hacked like a couple of months ago but it all came out today. You know what? It's a good thing I'm a good girl. And there wasn't anything too racy on there. ...you know what's frustrating though?

It's not even necessarily what the pictures were or even what is out there. It's just the fact that that's, like, personal. You kind of get freaked out, like, who's watching what you're doing for anything whether you're a celebrity or not. And, the weirdest part was, like, i saw that, like, my insurance card or something they had, songs from my album that haven't been released yet. It's a little weird."

Sure is and we don't blame you for being more than a little freaked out about it. Those pictures were still private in their own way and no one deserves to be, uh, exposed that way.

But just think - your momma must be so proud to have such a good girl in the family!

Jack White + The Insane Clown Posse + Mozart! Yes, This Really Happened!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:50 AM PDT

Throw a dash of Charlie Sheen into that and you've got yourself quite a sh*t show.

So, this is happening. You can't stop it. It's already done. Jack White, with his new record label, Third Man Records, is releasing a new single with The Insane Clown Posse.

It gets weirder...

The track, called Leck Mich Im Arsch, loosely translates to "Lick me in the arse" and is set to a Mozart composition from 1782. We bet Wolfgang never dreamed so big!

Check out the video (above) to hear the official announcement and look for the record to drop September 13th.

We're scared to ask ... any of U planning on downloading this?

And The Right Wing Bull Shiz Hits The Fan Regarding Chaz Bono's Upcoming DWTS Stint!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:40 AM PDT

And here we goooo...

It was only a matter of time before SOMEONE and their ignorant, right-wing bullshit mentality had something to say against transgendered Chaz Bono's inclusion on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars, and that lucky person seems to be Dan Gainor, VP of Business & Culture at the Media Research Center, which "seeks to bring balance to the news media and prevent liberal from undermining traditional American values."

Yeah. Seriously.

(We personally think someone's just all pissy because his last name sounds like GAY.)

He says:

"Whether it's Glee or Dancing With the Stars, this is part of Hollywood's insistence on tearing down traditional families. Parents now more than ever must realize they cannot let their kids watch television without supervision or risk advocating lifestyles that most families do not approve of."

MOST families? Excuse us?

Sorry to break it to you, princess, but we're pretty sure that whether you like it or not, MOST families have at least ONE LGBT member!

It's only a matter of time before we start re-defining what the word 'traditional' means to Americans, so it's time you got used to seeing REAL PEOPLE - with the same RIGHTS as anyone else, mind you - who just happen to be a little DIFFERENT than what you and your close-minded beliefs perceive as normal, on television!

EQUALITY FOR ALL!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

The Settlement Details Have Arrived! Mel To Pay Oksana $750K!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:30 AM PDT

Too bad The Beaver didn't make more $$$! In the past, one of Mel's movies could have MORE than paid for this settlement!

Last weekend, we were pleased to hear that Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva had FINALLY settled their battle for custody of their daughter Lucia.

Now, details of their agreement have been revealed, and we've learned that Mel will pay Oksansa $750,000 in the form of three installments of $250K.

She'll get $250,000 from him today, then another $250,000 from him on Sept. 15, 2013, and then a final payment on Jan 1., 2016.

As far as Lucia is concerned, the two will get joint legal AND physical custody of their daughter.

Also, Oksana will be forced to sell her house when Lucia turns 18, and the money from the sale will be put in a trust for Lucia.

Finally, both Mel and Oksana are NOT allowed to write books about each other, and they also can't hire ghost-writers to writer books either!

...Oh, and if Oksana needs any house repairs, Mel has to pay up to $5,000 for any necessary work.

Sounds like things worked out pret-ty well in the end. This could have been SO MUCH worse for Mel!

As we've said before, let's hope this is the end of the drama. We've definitely heard enough from these two!

What do U think about this settlement? Do U think it's fair???

[Image via WENN.]

Taylor Armstrong May Talk To Barbara Walters About Russell's Suicide

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:20 AM PDT

Andy Cohen who?

We kid, we kid. We're sure Bravo doesn't care that one of their Housewives is considering taking her story to a different network. As long as she's getting past her grieving, that's all that matters to them.

Sources are reporting that Taylor Armstrong is finally starting to consider taking interviews to talk about the suicide of her husband, Russell Armstrong. We're told she's gotten many offers, but the one she is considering the most seriously is the one made by Barbara Walters.An insider explains:

"Taylor would likely feel the most comfortable with Barbara Walters. Taylor expects to be asked the tough questions, and will answer them."

That's very brave of her. No one would hold it against her if she never did an interview at all.

Still, she won't answer those hard questions for awhile. Don't expect to see this interview come to be for at least a "month or so." Though Taylor is finally starting to feel like she can move past the tragedy in a way, the source insists she still "needs a bit more time before she is ready to talk about the suicide."

Take all the time you need, girl. Heal.

[Image via WENN.]

Lil Wayne's New Album Has A BIG Debut!

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:10 AM PDT

Well, it didn't hurt that he was the closing act at Sunday night's VMAs.

Just hours after performing live on the MTV awards show, Lil Wayne released his new album Tha Carther IV. By the first day, sales predictions for the first week were between 700,000 and 850,000 units, which is REALLY IMPRESSIVE.

After a full 24 hours, however, new figures showed that sales went up and was projected to sell 850,000-900,000 units by the end of the week.

It will obviously make it to the number one spot on the Billboard charts, which will mark Lil Wayne's third number one album.

And if it surpasses the 850,000 mark, he will break his own record, with most record sales for a hip-hop album by a male artist since his album Carter III.

Way to go, Wayne!

[Image via WENN.]

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The Pregnant Man Thinks Chaz Bono Robbed Him Of His Spot On ‘Dancing With The Stars’

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:09 AM PDT

Never underestimate a not-very-famous person’s drive to piggyback on some perceived association with a sort-of-famous person. Thomas Beatie, the trans guy who first made headlines in 2008 for being both legally male and pregnant, is now saying he thinks Chaz Bono beat him out for a spot on Dancing With The Stars.

Via TMZ:

He reached out to casting in the hopes of landing a spot a few months ago — but never got a call back. But after DWTS announced that Chaz would be on the show, Thomas says he thinks he knows why he was rejected — the transgender quota had already been filled.

Thomas says he understands why producers wouldn’t cast two famous transgender people on the show — but he’s still pretty bummed out … telling us, “I wanted to try my new body out. I'm an athlete and I know I would have excelled.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Dancing With The Stars try to fulfill its promise of “stars” at least somewhat? Chaz Bono might be kind of a B-list celebrity, but he still ranks above Thomas Beatie, no? And the so-called “Pregnant Man” is not even pregnant anymore, so he really should stop calling himself that. I know “The Man Who Was Once Pregnant But Is Now Just A Dad” doesn’t sound as good, but it might be a bit more accurate.

Look at it this way, Mr. Six Pack: you are already, as you say, an athlete. Maybe Chaz Bono needs this more than you. He has, in the past, expressed a desire to get in better shape, so maybe this is the kick in the ass he’s been looking for. With training this intense, I’m sure Chaz will look and feel significantly different by the time the show is done taping. Share the six pack wealth, my friend.

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Kreayshawn Claims She Was Underage in Leaked Nude Photos

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 11:00 AM PDT

Rapper and VMA Best New Artist nominee Kreayshawn‘s twitter was hacked the other day by a group going by the name Hollywood Leaks who used her account to tweet anti-Semitic statements and release nude photos. Now Kreayshawn’s saying that the photos were taken when she was underage, which adds adds the offense of spreading child pornography the the crimes of the hackers. From Kreayshawn’s tumblr:

“My twitter got hacked today by some anti-hollywood extremists. They sent out wack ass tweets and promoted their odd message of anti-jew stuff and deleted my twitter.. Oh and they leaked out private photos of me while I was underage. Real nice guys! Spreading child-prono thats cute. VMA's was insane on top of that. Can I shit man?”

The hackers claim to be an offshoot faction of the notorious 4chan group Anonymous. Last week, the group hacked Julianne Hough’s cell phone and released photos and contact info. In a video manifesto, they declared an anti-Hollywood mission statement: “Attention Hollywood we are Anonymous. We have been watching you. We have been listening to you. You have been allowed to run free too long.”

However, it also appears the hackers were motivated by “LULZ”:

Kreayshawn’s not taking the attack lightly. In a follow-up Tumblr post, she complained:

“All I wanted to do is create and have a good time. But, this is quickly forming into something I never would have signed up for from being accused of being racist to getting my pre-teen nudes leaked everywhere. I feel like this shit ain't my cup of tea. Someone else want my job right about now? Im just gotta sip lean and disappear. THIS GAME IS FAKE AS ALL HELL!”

The authorities are apparently on the case — so hopefully they’re catch the hackers before any more of Hollywood leaks out.

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The Producers of What to Expect When You’re Expecting Don’t Trust Whitney Port to Act

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 10:58 AM PDT

The headline on Us Magazine’s website is “Whitney Port Making Acting Debut” — except, that’s not quite true. She’ll be appearing on the big screen for the first time in What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but she’s not one of the many pregnant mothers; she’s playing herself. It’s kind of fitting, since What to Expect… is also nonfiction (it’s a bestselling how-to book) with a plot shoehorned in.

Us’ source says that Whitney — who we all know thanks to her naive adventures on The Hills and The City — will have one line in one scene. She and NBA player Dwayne Wade will play themselves in whatever this mindblowing sequence will be. It’s unclear which of the pregnant ladies she interacts with: There’s motherhood boutique owner Elizabeth Banks, soon-to-be adoptive parent Jennifer Lopez, accidentally-pregnant Anna Kendrick, and blissful mother-to-be Brooklyn Decker. But then again, most of these awful ensemble movies have celebrities playing themselves, so obviously the producers will find a spot for her.

What’s funny is that Whitney didn’t make the cut to play a supporting character. She’s not enough of a brand as a fashion designer/reality star that it would logically make sense for her to represent herself, but that must have been the producers’ only choice since she can’t act. The one thing she does have going for her is the amazing facial expressions she would make on her two MTV shows… let’s hope her one line includes a gaping look of surprise.

God, I miss this show. We’ll get to see dear Whit on the big screen on May 5, 2012.

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Gallery: 7 Divorced Celebrity Couples Who Got Remarried (or Re-Engaged) Really Fast

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 10:22 AM PDT

LeAnn Rimes‘ ex-husband Dean Sheremet just got remarried — but doesn’t it seem like just last month that LeAnn left him for Eddie Cibrian? And wait, didn’t she just get married to Eddie? Wait until the ink dries on the divorce papers, guys!

For some reason, celebrity couples who get divorced seem super-eager to tie the knot with their next boyfriend/girlfriend — here are seven divorces where at least one party was walking down the aisle within a year.

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Video: Are You Ready For The Atlanta Zoo’s Tiger Cub Cam?

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 10:17 AM PDT

Following the rousing success of the shiba inu puppy cam (which, by the way, is back!), the Atlanta Zoo thought it would be a good idea to broadcast the day-to-day lives of their newly born Sumatran tiger cubs, Sanjiv and Sohni, via live video feed. The first tiger cubs to be born at that zoo in more than a decade, they are a boon to their species’ total population, which is estimated to be about 300 worldwide.

The feed can be viewed over at the zoo’s website, but you can only see the cubs when they’re in the den with the camera in it, which is sad. Nonetheless, it says that “as the cubs become more mobile, they'll explore both dens more freely,” which is promising. The feed will be broadcast constantly until the tiger subs are ready to be exhibited to the public, which seems like a pretty good way to promote it. In addition to being super fun to watch, the feed will hopefully build up the public’s interest in these big cats and what can be done to save them in the wild. So it’s cute and educational and helpful.

They really do need to figure out how to keep the camera on the cubs at all times, though. Those donations aren’t going to make themselves.

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Giving Zooey Deschanel’s New Girl a Fair Shake

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 09:26 AM PDT

Everybody take a knee, and listen up: Now I know you're all a little tired of "quirky girl syndrome." And when the queen bee of emotionally confused girl-women got herself a television show on FOX, you probably rolled your eyes faster than a pixie can weave a dreamcatcher from toothpicks and wishes. Yes, there are people out there who like her – those She & Him albums aren't half bad! But for many, Zooey Deschanel is the yeast of cute female celebrities – natural, familiar and something you want to go away as quickly as possible.

Well, I want to make a case for Zooey's upcoming show, New Girl. She plays a sweet, naïve, safe-for-television oddball forced back into the single life. We all know the dating scene is full of sharks, but luckily her character Jess finds protection in three male roommates — who initially invite Jess to live with them because she has supermodel friends. (Men: turns out you CAN live with 'em… as long the company they keep is smoking hot and Size 0.)

My gut reaction to this promo was "oh, please no." But upon repeat viewings, I had a change of heart. Sure, it's annoying that this girl-in-break-up-mode defaults to crying all the time. But to be fair, finding out your live-in boyfriend is cheating on you while you're butt-naked sounds pretty awful. I'm not sure I would seek solace in something so cliché as Dirty Dancing, but there'd probably be gallons of tears, Hugh Grant and nachos involved.

And even though the promo makes a sexual foursome seem inevitable by Season 3, there's something sweet about Jess' relationship with her roommates. They're more "big brothers," than "Pygmalions." I get it, Hollywood; the healing powers of the sisterhood don't equal sexy television. So thank you for at least planting her in a flower patch of Chandlers instead of Joey Tribbianis.

(Sidenote: I thought we as a collective gender had moved past "Time of My Life," but I'm nothing if not a sucker for spontaneous restaurant sing-a-longs (see: My Best Friend's Wedding, The Sweetest Thing). So, I'll let this one slide.)

The thing that stuck out most to me is Zooey's overall delivery.It feels incredibly awkward, and not intentionally so. But it's also kind of charming. If it helps make the character believable, then the end justifies the means. So let's all hang up our snarky pants for a few episodes, and give New Girl a fair shake. While some might see “trying to hard” I see “eager to please,” and eagerness can be quite endearing. Maybe, New Girl is Zooey's new chance at redemption. Is it so hard to at least let her try?

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Style Crush: Charlotte Gainsbourg

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 08:49 AM PDT

I think that if I could steal anyone’s wardrobe and make it my own, it would be Charlotte Gainsbourg‘s. None of it would fit me (I am two feet tall), but I’d just open up my closets and stare at the beautiful dresses until they came to life and joined me in whimsical conversation. Guys, I just wrote a Michel Gondry movie!

A few weeks ago we Style Crushed Charlotte’s mother, Jane Birkin, and now we’re showing how taste runs in the family.

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Video: George Lucas Makes Darth Vader a Wimp in the Rereleased Return of the Jedi

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 08:41 AM PDT

No matter how much of a whiny prettyboy Hayden Christensen made Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels, we could always comfort ourselves with the knowledge that Darth Vader was still the most badass sci-fi villain. No longer!

When it comes to rereleasing the original Star Wars trilogy, George Lucas is like a dissatisfied plastic surgeon: He keeps making tweaks and changes, most of which make the overall movie droop and show its age like a bad boob job. It’s not a huge deal if he replaces puppet Yoda with a CGI version, but when the choices actually change the characters, then we have a problem. Today’s victim: Darth Vader.

Badass News confirms that this is real: In Return of the Jedi when the Emperor is torturing Luke with lightning bolts, now Vader says, “No!” before he picks up the Emperor and throws him down the power shaft to his death.

If it were any other word, it wouldn’t be bad, but the most laughable part of Revenge of the Sith (the third of the awful prequels) is when Vader first gets his scary black suit and is mortified at his inhuman appearance — yelling, you guessed, it “NOOOOOO!” Its ridiculousness earned it a spot among Internet memes; see below.

What made Vader’s decision to betray his master so cool was that he didn’t show any reaction until he surprised everyone by switching back to the light side of the Force. And now that we’ve seen the prequels, we know how much of a mentor the Emperor actually was to Vader. We didn’t need this lame add-on!

Basically, Vader is now a pussy.

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Alec Baldwin Is Not Running For Mayor Of NYC…Yet

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 08:36 AM PDT

Alec Baldwin, of the can-do-anything Baldwins, seems like a shoo-in for mayor of New York. After all, he’s got everything required of a New York mayor: he’s rich and famous, he heads a multinational corporation, and he’s already an iconic part of the New York City zeitgeist. Yes, I am conflating him with Jack Donaghy. What of it? He might even be able to trick some Republicans into voting for him because they can’t tell the difference between reality and TV, either.

Unfortunately, it seems like we’re going to have to wait a while for Baldwin to replace mayor-for-life Mike Bloomberg. When asked about his ambitions on Letterman last night, Baldwin dodged the question nicely, saying he would like to be mayor, but he would not like to have to do the things one must do in order to become mayor. Perhaps he hopes to attain the office via spontaneous military coup? Or maybe King Bloomberg will appoint him his successor? Anyway, it’s all pretty abstract, because at this point, he’d rather be spending time with his hot, 27-year-old yoga instructor girlfriend:

Would I rather be handcuffed to the emergency command center in Maspeth during a hurricane, holding down the fort and making sure all the plows are working… or would I rather spend some of that ’30 Rock’ money traveling the world with my girlfriend?

Hurricanes don’t require plows, honey. But fair point otherwise.

Still, he has yet to rule it out completely. “Baldwin for mayor in 2014″ has a nice, futuristic ring to it. Sigh.

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Hot Shot: Henry Cavill Wears His Superman Outfit Well

Posted: 31 Aug 2011 08:13 AM PDT

Some images of new Superman Henry Cavill from the Man of Steel set have hit the web, and the 28-year-old English actor sure does wear his silly blue suit well. So well, in fact, that we can see every single one of his body parts. (We have X-ray vision and also his outfit is very form-fitting.)

But the question remains: how does Mr. Cavill look in nerdy glasses? We’ll reserve our final judgment on Henry until we see him as Clark Kent.

(via)

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