Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.29.13

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 01:00 PM PDT

“Internet perverts, TO ME!!” Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the most depressing back-to-back shots of Baywatch stars you’ll ever see. Unless I successfully outbid Steve Hirsch for the rights to the sextape The Hoff made with a McRib. Then we’ll be in business, sexy, mustard-covered penis busine–Woah! What the hell? *grabs keyboard Read More ...

Jamie Foxx Grabbed Katie Holmes’ Ass, Yet She Didn’t Have Sex With Him? That’s Strange

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 12:06 PM PDT

“Grab. That. Woman’s. Ass.” “I’m tryin’, Colin Powell, I’m tryin’.” It’s been over a year since Katie Holmes divorced Tom Cruise, so allow me to be the voice of reason that says Jamie Foxx was well within his rights to borderline sexually assault the ex-wife of a former co-star. In fact, I’d be offended if Read More ...

Timothy Dalton Might Be The New Alfred

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 11:15 AM PDT

There’s a special place in my heart for the Timothy Dalton Bond movies, so finding out he’ll be a more badass Alfred in Batman Vs. Superman sounds amazing as long as he describes things as the “soize of a tang-ah-reen.” Cosmic Book News has the scoop again, so it’s time to admit Zack Snyder has Read More ...

Farrah Abraham Found Legitimate Acting Work, Good Feelings Gone

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 10:14 AM PDT

Dear Casting Aficionado at Days of Our Lives, Exactly eight days ago I created what’s called a CMP, the fancy little button widget in the right hand side of this post, titled “There’s Hope For The World” because at the time there was hope for the world thanks to Teen Mom turned porn star Farrah Read More ...

James Spader Is Ultron In ‘The Avengers: Age of That Person I Just Said’

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 08:50 AM PDT

Just the other day I was saying out loud to myself, “You know who would make the perfect Ultron in The Avengers: Age of Ultron? Someone who’s been in a movie where people get in car accidents and then have sex with the wounds caused by said car accident.” Not even five seconds later, Stan Read More ...

Billy Ray Cyrus Wishes Twerking Was Around When He Had That One Song

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 07:57 AM PDT

My dear, sweet, Photo Boy, this. Now that Miley Cyrus twerking is part of our national tapestry, official lexicon and soon, oxygen, what the world really wants to know is what Billy Ray Cyrus thought of his tender little Hanner Montanner’s performance at the VMAs. And it turns out the answer is, “Well, shoot, I’d Read More ...

Hayden Panettiere Is More Than Just Her New Implants, You Guys, She’s Also A Butt

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 07:32 AM PDT

When you think about Hayden Panettiere, the first thing that comes to mind is her cheerleader outfit on Heroes when she was only 16. Then once you realize Chris Hansen can read thoughts, it’s how much she loves sex with giants. So, today, I’d like to propose maybe the first thing you think of from Read More ...

Kris Jenner’s Show Got Cancelled

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 06:45 AM PDT

Despite using the last of her black magic to make Kanye reveal a photo of North West (a.k.a. George Zimmerman) on her final episode, Kris Jenner‘s talk show is over and will not be picked up by FOX thanks to America finally respecting itself as a beautiful, young woman by saying, “Fuck you, I’m watching Read More ...

Good Morning, Tricia Helfer, And Other News

Posted: 29 Aug 2013 06:23 AM PDT

- The Carrie remake starring Hit Girl has a trailer. - Ace Johnson is ready to land into your heart. Buy war bonds. - Ladies And Gentlemen, We Have Lift Off - Courtney Stodden is allegedly 19 today. - Morgan Freeman has never heard of twerking before. LIES. - Read More ...
Brought to you by: at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)