Sunday, September 18, 2011

Crushable

Crushable


Dinner-in-a-Movie Cinemas Are the Greatest Invention Ever

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 11:50 AM PDT

Today, Gentle Readers, I'm going to introduce you to a wonderful invention. I'm not sure if this wonderful invention has a name, but I usually call it Dinner-in-a-Movie. Admittedly, this is a rather clunky moniker, but I like it, and here's why: Why would you do dinner-and-a-movie when you can do dinner IN a movie? Because that's exactly what this wonderful invention is: A hybrid creature that is simultaneously cinema and restaurant. And there need to be way, WAY more of these in the world, because they're AWESOME.

I first encountered one of these rare beings during the summer of 2003. Back then, I spent my summers up in Southern Maine at my folks' summer place, working at a restaurant a few nights a week for the cash and reading on the beach for most of the rest of the time. Occasionally, though– well, more than occasionally– I ventured south to New Hampshire, where the nearest mainstream cinema lived, to get my summer movie fix. Bizarrely, though, that summer, the cinema refused to play Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. I didn't know why then and I still don't know why now. Furthermore, after rather a lot of searching, my mother and I—because my mum was my favorite movie-going companion—discovered that for some odd reason, almost every cinema in the South of Maine also refused to play Pirates that summer. But note that I say "almost," because there was one cinema within driving distance that was in fact playing that fabled summer blockbuster. That cinema was Smitty's Cinema-Pub.

So my mum and I piled into the car and headed out to Sanford, Maine, thinking that when we got there, the cinema would turn out to be a movie theater with a TGI Friday's-esque restaurant attached to it. We were right about one thing; it was TGI Friday's-esque. But what it wasn't, was attached. Oh no: This wasn't pub WITH cinema. This was pub IN cinema. As in, we bought our tickets, went into the auditorium—and found ourselves seated at tables with menus being told that we could order food both before and during the movie and EAT IT WHILE WE WERE WATCHING.

It blew. My mind.

It was then and there that I decided that Dinner-in-Movie was the greatest invention of the modern age. I subsequently made it my mission to hunt down and eat at/watch movies at every single one of these strange and wondrous places I could. There are more of them than I'd first suspected; and even better, each one is a unique experience all its own.

The next one I stumbled upon was the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas in (yes, this Alamo Drafthouse). My brother went to graduate school at UT Austin, and since he's a media scholar, naturally he has a habit of learning about all the best cinematic hotspots in any location in which he happens to be. So when my parents and I flew down for his graduation in 2007, after we did all the usual graduation-y things, my brother and his fiancée showed us just how cool Austin can be. This included the Alamo Drafthouse.

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Gallery: Happy Birthday, Xzibit! Here’s a Bunch of Memes of You

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 10:20 AM PDT

Yo dawg, we heard it was your birthday, so we…

Okay, so we didn’t exactly put a birthday in a birthday so you can birthday while you birthday– mostly because if you really think about that sentence, it gets kind of weird-sounding– but we DID assemble the best of of the memes featuring you, Xzibit, into a glorious birthday gallery. Because you entertain us with your rides and your pimpin’. Happy birthday. Dawg.

[Images via]

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Why Is Suri Cruise Wearing Lipstick?

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 08:58 AM PDT


No, seriously. Why is Suri Cruise wearing lipstick? SURI CRUISE IS FIVE.

Okay. I understand little girls playing around with makeup. Most girls go through this phase. A lot of boys go through this phase, too. That’s fine. But usually, when kids go through the “I want to play with makeup like Mommy!” phase, they’re not sporting perfectly-applied Cherries in the Snow.

This REALLY WEIRDS ME OUT.

Does it weird you guys out, too? Please say it does. I’d like to think I’m not alone in my horror.

Just in case you need more convincing, here are two more photos:

WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN.

[Via Buzzfeed]

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Sunday Cute: Watch a Kitten Learn to Skateboard

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 07:15 AM PDT

Stick with this kitty; he’s got a pretty strong learning curve. He might even teach you something you don’t know. Don’t be fooled by his fuzziness. He can thrash with the best of them. Rawr.

Happy Sunday!

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Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren’t: The Philadelphia Experiment

Posted: 18 Sep 2011 07:12 AM PDT

Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren't is a series that explores modern urban legends, bringing you a new tale each week.

Morris K. Jessup was perhaps an unremarkable man. Born near Rockville, Indiana on March 2, 1900, he seemed set on a scientific path from an early age: An interest in astronomy eventually led to a Bachelor of Science degree in the subject from the University of Michigan, which in turn led to a Master of Science degree earned during a time working at the U Mich-run Lamont-Hussey Observatory. But though Jessup began working on his doctorate in astrophysics, he ceased working on his dissertation in 1931 and never earned the degree. He spent the rest of his life working in decidedly unscientific jobs, including a substantial time as an automobile-parts salesman. But selling car parts wasn't the only thing Jessup did with his time: He was also largely acknowledged as the most original extraterrestrial hypothesizer of the 1950s, and his 1955 book The Case for the UFO made waves in the extraterrestrial hypothesis community. So when mysterious letters started appearing in his mailbox insisting of the existence of a government experiment geared towards exploring the effects of new and unusual technology on Navy vessels, Jessup was understandably intrigued. That experiment would become infamous. It was referred to as THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT.

In The Case for the UFO, Jessup had written about a possible means of propulsion used by flying saucer-style UFOs, with anti-gravity and electromagnetism being important players in his theory. This was what Albert Einstein called the Unified Field Theory, which attempted to describe, both mathematically and physically, how the forces that comprise electromagnetic radiation and gravity interrelate. But that was all it was—a theory—because the theory has never been demonstrated in practice. However, some researchers believed that if the theory WAS demonstrated, generators adhering to it could be created that would be able to bend light around an object, rendering it invisible. That's right: Invisible. Obviously, the ability to cloak objects would be of substantial military use—consider what could be achieved if large-scale objects of war such as tanks, planes, and even ships could be made invisible.

This, then, was what the letters Jessup received claimed to have proven: That the US Navy had succeeded in creating such a cloaking device, and that furthermore, the letters' writer claimed to have witnessed it in action. During the summer of 1943 at the Philadelphia Naval Yard, the letter said, a Dr. Franklin Reno equipped the destroyer escort USS Eldridge with light-bending generators and testing began on what was known as electromagnetic space-time warping. Initially, there was a certain amount of success; on July 22, the Eldridge allegedly became completely invisible, replaced by a greenish fog. However, there were complications when the ship reappeared: Some crew members were somehow fused to the metal of the ship itself—that is, they were essentially splinched. After this unfortunate turn of events, the Navy allegedly requested that the objective of the experiment be altered, such that the goal became to render the Eldridge invisible to radar, rather than to the naked eye.

But, the writer of the letters continued, the ship's equipment was not re-calibrated, and the experiment was repeated on October 28. This time, the letters said, the ship not only vanished from sight, but even more impressively, physically vanished in a flash of blue light and reappeared in Norfolk, Virginia. Yes: The ship teleported from one location to another over 200 miles away. It is lucky that the ship reappeared in the water; it could have reappeared anywhere, including on dry land and in a heavily populated area. After sitting in full view of the crew aboard the ship SS Andrew Furuseth in Norfolk for some moments, the Eldridge again vanished and reappeared in its initially location at the Philadelphia Naval Yard. The letters also detailed side effects suffered by the crew: In addition to becoming embedded within the structure of the ship, many experienced crippling nausea, developed severe mental disorders, or simply vanished all together. The writer of the letters signed himself "Carlos Allende."

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Employee of the Month: Passive-Aggressive Disney Animator

Posted: 17 Sep 2011 01:53 PM PDT

Did you know that the original title for the Disney classic The Great Mouse Detective was Basil of Baker Street? Me neither, but apparently this is true. I kind of dig the Basil of Baker Street title; it’s a nice nod to the literary Sherlock Holmes that the titular Mouse Detective was based on, as well as to Basil Rathbone, who might possibly be the most famous actor to have played him. But of course, when you’re making a children’s movie, there’s always the chance that so sophisticated a title will go right over your target audience’s tiny little heads, so in early 1986, Disney executives decided to change the film’s title to the much less ambiguous The Great Mouse Detective.

This did not please everyone.

So what do you do if you’re a pissed-off Disney animator with no real way to achieve the change you want? You forge a satirical memo from the head of your department and you send it around. TO EVERYONE.

Or at least, that’s what you do if you’re the animator known as Ed Gombert. Well played, sir. Well played, indeed. Personally, I’m a big fan of Seven Little Men Help a Girl. Best. Movie. EVER.

[Via Letters of Note]

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You Guys! Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Was at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in NY!

Posted: 17 Sep 2011 11:50 AM PDT

What exactly was Farrah Abraham doing at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week? That, I’m not really sure about. But hey, check out these pictures, courtesy of Starcasm!

Farrah first let us know that she would be coming on September 8 via Twitter:

I believe this tweet decoded means that Farrah started in Miami– presumably for Fashion’s Night Out– then headed to New York. It probably does not that Miami is greater than New York. But maybe it does. You never know.

If we are to continue to believe Twitter, Farrah actually arrived in New York on September 10:

She also took a moment to memorialize 9/11. This is a nice gesture, but I wonder if she realized that it was 9/10 at the time she posted it.

Anyway, ta-da! Farrah has arrived! Here she is, walking down the street in a crazy, furry, red coat. Why exactly is she wearing this crazy, furry, red coat? I don’t know, because it’s 80 degrees in New York right now.

And hey, look! She brought a friend! Her friend is dressed much more sensibly than she is.

And she even took some time out to go shopping:

Baby Sophia was nowhere to be seen, so I think it’s a pretty safe bet to assume that she’s in Iowa with Farrah’s parents. (Though given how this season has been going, maybe that’s not as safe an assumption as we once thought…). But back to the original question: What’s Farrah doing here? Starcasm speculated that she was invited to a couple of Fashion Week events. This is probably accurate; she is an occasional model, after all. Furthermore, given that there haven’t been any “OMG TEEN MOM ON THE RUNWAY AT FASHION WEEK!” announcements, Farrah probably hasn’t been here as part of an actual modeling gig. She mentioned earlier this season in Teen Mom that she wanted to put modeling on hold for the time being so she could focus on her daughter and school, so she’s most likely here as a spectator.One of the perks of being a reality star, I suppose!

Anyway, I hope she had fun, though I still want to know why on Earth she’s wearing that huge furry coat in 80-degree weather.

[Via Starcasm]

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