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- All The Things That Are Wrong With Aaron Sorkin’s ‘I Broke My Nose While Writing’ Argument
- Kevin Dillon Whines About Jane Lynch’s Funny Entourage Joke
- The Daily WTF: 39-Year-Old Man Murders His Mother Over Avril Lavigne Tickets
- The Real Tragedy of the Salahi Divorce: Michaele’s Dog Rio Died of a Broken Heart
- Video: The Foo Fighters Counter-Protest The Westboro Baptist Church
- 3 Ways Kate Winslet Can Win That Tony to Get Her EGOT
- Josh Charles! Grabbing Your Date’s Breast On The Red Carpet Is Inappropriate!
- Gallery: Following The Emmys, Celebs Hit The After Parties
- Steve Carell Not Winning an Emmy Was the Biggest Upset of Last Night’s Awards
- Charlie Sheen And Ashton Kutcher Are Best Buddies
| All The Things That Are Wrong With Aaron Sorkin’s ‘I Broke My Nose While Writing’ Argument Posted: 19 Sep 2011 11:31 AM PDT
"Aaron Sorkin, who penned The Social Network and The West Wing and co-wrote Moneyball, which will open in theaters next week, showed up at an Emmy event in West Hollywood on Friday with a broken nose. It turns out he injured himself while writing. 'I wish I could say I was in a bar fight, but I broke my nose while writing,' the Academy Award winning screenwriter told the Los Angeles Times. He said he was staring into a mirror, working on some dialogue, when he got too close and head-butted himself." Ridiculous. Here are all the things that are wrong with this story: • Who the hell writes in front of the mirror? I know a lot of writers and that isn't a thing that any single one of them does, ever. Generally writers avoid mirrors, for that matter. Desks, couches, beds… that's it. • Aaron Sorkin is a recovering cocaine addict. People with addictions often show up with bizarre injuries. It sure seems like Aaron cut his nose on Ockham's Razor, doesn't it? • Okay, let's say that Aaron Sorkin really does write dialogue by staring in the mirror. There's no way he could have accidentally propelled himself at his wall harder than The Situation did on Jersey Shore, and Sitch's nose came out of that skirmish just fine. And now, here are all the things that are right with this story: • Aaron Sorkin is known for writing characters who are basically himself (see: all of Studio 60). So it does sort of make sense that he'd use himself to test his own dialogue. • Addicts tend to be notoriously good liars. "I broke my nose while writing" is a terrible lie. So maybe it's the truth. • The walk-and-talk. Aaron Sorkin invented the walk-and-talk. So maybe he really does walk while he talks. It’s a revelation, really. Post from: Crushable |
| Kevin Dillon Whines About Jane Lynch’s Funny Entourage Joke Posted: 19 Sep 2011 11:11 AM PDT
You see, when introducing the cast of his show, Lynch made a joke that played on its widely known reputation for being the most douchechill-inducing, Axe-body-spray-reeking-of, Maxim-reading, pickup artist-y show in all the land. “A lot people are very curious as to why I’m a lesbian—ladies and gentleman, the cast of Entourage!” she said, and everyone laughed. Everyone but Johnny Drama. “It was funny, but I think it’s not fair at the same time,” he told E!’s Marc Malkin. “We all have good senses of humor but I think the men of Entourage treat women well for the most part. Maybe she was going on season one when everyone one in the world was like, ‘That show is so male chauvinistic,’ and everybody was down us. But since then, E[ric] has had a longtime relationship. Vince has always treated women politely and even Turtle lately. I didn’t take offense but that’s not what the show is about.” Now, I will admit to not having watched very much Entourage, because in addition to portraying women as foolish fuck-holes, the first few episodes were just not very entertaining. It seemed like everyone had been coached to act like they were in some kind of porno from Hell that contains all of the terrible, dead-eyed line readings we’ve come to expect from porn but none of the hot, hot action. And, yes, the way those guys talked about women made my vagina want to sew itself shut forever. The fact that someone from this show got genuinely upset because a big, mean lesbian made a joke at its expense only supports my creeping suspicion that the people who try the hardest to be all “I am so edgy and un-P.C.!” are the least able to take a joke themselves. (See also: American Apparel.) I guess I should thank Entourage, though, because the existence of shows like it (and guys who think they are totally bitchin’, brah), makes me appreciate reasonable male people like my boyfriend even more. Why, just thinking about Entourage makes me want to buy him presents for not believing that he is from Mars, awesome bro planet, and I am from Venus, irrational place of Dirty Dancing and menstruation. Thank you, Entourage, for making women everywhere extra appreciative of the men in their lives, and thank you, Jane Lynch, for being Jane Lynch. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| The Daily WTF: 39-Year-Old Man Murders His Mother Over Avril Lavigne Tickets Posted: 19 Sep 2011 10:55 AM PDT
Evidently, Robert flipped out when his mother wouldn’t to call a friend to arrange skybox seats so Robert could attend Avril’s show. Their argument got heated and Robert stabbed his mother to death, poured cleaning chemicals on her body, then left the house to go shopping. He was arrested several hours later at a Hooters, of all places, where he had spent the rest of the day hanging out. Robert has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and his defense attorneys are saying that he was provoked into attacking his mother, who had threatened to stab him in the eye. Depressed yet? I sure am. And I’m sure a Law & Order “ripped from the headlines” is mere episodes away. I hope you’re happy, Avril. (via BuzzFeed) Post from: Crushable |
| The Real Tragedy of the Salahi Divorce: Michaele’s Dog Rio Died of a Broken Heart Posted: 19 Sep 2011 10:17 AM PDT
(That bit is up for debate: I don’t know if animals can catch on after only a few days that their owners are gone. My cat is happy to see me every time I come back to California, and that’s after me being gone for six months.) Apparently when Tareq gave Rio his heart meds before bed, the dog started yelping and died soon after. Tareq seems genuinely broken up about losing his pet and is of course blaming Michaele for creating all the stress that led to Rio’s untimely end. At least Tareq has one bit of consolation in all this: Since the Salahis’ prenup has a clause against cheating, Michaele won’t get any of his money from their eight-year marriage and won’t be able to file for spousal support. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Video: The Foo Fighters Counter-Protest The Westboro Baptist Church Posted: 19 Sep 2011 11:15 AM PDT The Westboro Baptist Church sees pretty much everyone who is not them as hell-bound “fag enablers.” They’ve protested at dead soldiers’ funerals, the Obama kids’ school, and even Comic Con. Hence, it should come as no surprise that they would also hate secular rock and roll group The Foo Fighters and everything they stand for. Think Dave Grohl seems like a nice, funny guy? Think again, sinner. He is Satan in a wig. The church’s particular grievance against the Foos was this goofy video for their song “Hot Buns,” in which Dave and the gang act out a sexxxy gay trucker fantasy. I would pay to see the looks on the Westboro people’s faces as they watched the cameras pan across all those “hot man muffins” (the song’s words, not mine, although I agree). So they protested the group’s show in Kansas City this past Friday, screaming their usual hate-babble about how God hates fags, he really hates them a lot, etc. Except the band was already a step ahead of them, treating them to a counter-protest of their own. Dressed like the frisky truckers from the video, they rolled out on a flatbed and performed their homoerotic country spoof all up in their faces. “Land of the free, home of the brave,” Grohl declared at the end. “I don’t care if you’re black or white or purple or green, whether you’re Pennsylvanian or Transylvanian, Lady Gaga or Lady Antebellum. It takes all kinds.” Some of the protestors seemed to realize they were making fun of them, while others looked on confusedly. A few of the kids just looked happy to be seeing the Foo Fighters, which I imagine is a lot more fun than screaming at the Foo Fighters. I don’t know if it’s just where the camera person was standing, but it sounds like the “woos” drowned out the “boos” by a lot. This attention-grabbing video comes at an especially fortunate time for America’s hardest working rock band, as they’re currently embarking on a mega-tour all over. You can find out when their hot buns are coming to your town over at their official website. God bless America! Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| 3 Ways Kate Winslet Can Win That Tony to Get Her EGOT Posted: 19 Sep 2011 09:27 AM PDT
Past EGOT winners include Audrey Hepburn, Mel Brooks, and Whoopi Goldberg. Here are Kate’s stats:
So now Kate just needs to star in a Broadway play or musical. This shouldn’t be so difficult, since she was born into a family of thespians and got her start on the stage. Interestingly, however, the majority of her career as an adult has been in film. But we’ve come up with three completely doable projects that could get Kate her final award. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Josh Charles! Grabbing Your Date’s Breast On The Red Carpet Is Inappropriate! Posted: 19 Sep 2011 09:43 AM PDT
Oh, Josh Charles, look at you go with your wacky Emmys red carpet antics. The Good Wife star got all grabby on his girlfriend, ballet dancer-turned-Young Adult novelist Sophie Flack. But she didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she looks rather delighted — what a good sport. The weirdest part about this gesture is that Josh doesn’t seem to be engaging in some sort of sensual act as much as he appears the be checking to make sure Sophie’s breast is still there. Totally intact, Josh! Phew. (via Gawker) Post from: Crushable |
| Gallery: Following The Emmys, Celebs Hit The After Parties Posted: 19 Sep 2011 08:51 AM PDT
The duties of a TV celebrity don’t simply end after the three-hour awards ceremony. Oh no, these celebs must then hop in their horse-drawn limousines and put in an appearance at the after party. How tedious! Check out photos of Emmy winners and losers at parties hosted by AMC, HBO and The Governor. (via Getty) Post from: Crushable |
| Steve Carell Not Winning an Emmy Was the Biggest Upset of Last Night’s Awards Posted: 19 Sep 2011 08:18 AM PDT
The thing is, these awards are for the 2010-2011 season, and The Office hasn’t been good for the past few seasons. It’s sputtering to an end; Steve’s decision not to renew his contract was the first sign. The last season or two just haven’t been the cast’s best, despite their best intentions. It’s not surprising that the show hasn’t garnered too many nominations lately. Of course, that doesn’t stop fans from venting their disappointment and anger over social media. What’s especially frustrating is that this is the second year in a row that Jim’s won for The Big Bang Theory. And while it’s one of the smartest shows on television, The Office (in its heyday) is probably a lot more relatable. In a perfect world, Steve would receive some sort of Lifetime Achievement award acknowledging the six years he put into the show. Because he really did elevate it out of a bad copy of a British comedy. By making Michael utterly oblivious, he softened the asshole boss character that Ricky Gervais had developed just enough so that you’d feel sympathy at the right moments and never entirely loathe him. Even in the beginning, it took us a while to warm to Michael and the very American aspect of his character: How fucking awkward he was. But Steve Carell pushed through and created a classic TV character. Steve isn’t on Twitter, so he couldn’t respond to the snub, but last night his Office co-star Rainn Wilson tweeted on his behalf:
Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Charlie Sheen And Ashton Kutcher Are Best Buddies Posted: 19 Sep 2011 07:10 AM PDT
It’s the heartwarming tale of the century: Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher hung out backstage at The Emmys and totally didn’t come to blows. Charlie, who took the stage during the awards show to wish his former cast and crew luck, tweeted the above photo of himself with a bearded Ashton (hitting that depressed millionaire thing a little hard, huh, AK?) Charlie wrote: “Giving the new kid a little advice..! With @aplusk backstage at the Emmy’s…”
He followed the first tweet up with another photo and the message “Seriously… @aplusk great talking to you! We’ll all be watching! Make us proud!!” Aw. Best buddies for life. The all-new Two and a Half Men premieres this week — we’ll soon see how Ashton and his beard have stepped into the role.. Post from: Crushable |
Aaron Sorkin broke his nose. Aaron Sorkin broke his nose while writing, or so Aaron Sorkin says. Is Aaron Sorkin lying? (Apologies to Mother Goose.) From 
Jane Lynch, of Glee and Party Down fame, can pretty much do no wrong. Hence, it came as no surprise that she totally nailed her gig hosting the Emmys last night. The consensus among most was that her jokes were quite funny without ever crossing the line into something too nasty or personal. But one person begs to differ, and that person is Entourage‘s Kevin Dillon, a.k.a. Johnny Drama. I knew he’d been playing himself all along.
Did you have any faith left that American isn’t a depressing, completely morally bankrupt, oh-my-god-what-is-wrong-with-everyone? place to live? Well, sorry to ruin that facade for you with this fun little news item: A 39-year-old man named Robert Lyons from DuPage County, Illinois is 
This is animal cruelty, guys. It turns out the biggest victim in the Salahi divorce isn’t Tareq Salahi, who had to find out from TMZ that wife Michaele had left him for Journey‘s guitarist… It’s their dog Rio, 
Go on Tumblr during last night’s Emmy Awards, and you’d see the site aflame with tearful and furious posts from Steve Carell‘s fans: He lost to Jim Parsons for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, and since this was Steve’s last year on The Office, that means he’ll go home having never won an Emmy for his work as Michael Scott. (This was his sixth nomination in the same category.)
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