The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

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• The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.5.12
• Miley Cyrus Dang Ol’ Milyun Bucks Fer Eatin’ Cooter Pie in One O’ Them Sex Movies
• Chris Brown Is A Philanthropist Now
• Is Gisele Bundchen Having Octuplets? Jesus Christ
• Alec Baldwin Seems Really Secure About His Marriage, I Sense A Lot of Confidence Here
• Rumer Willis Proves I’ll Post Anyone In A Bikini, Literally Anyone
• There’s A Justin Bieber Sex Doll. Game Over.
• Kristen Stewart Wore This And Other News

The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.5.12 Posted: 05 Nov 2012 01:00 PM PST Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you Read More ...

Miley Cyrus Dang Ol’ Milyun Bucks Fer Eatin’ Cooter Pie in One O’ Them Sex Movies Posted: 05 Nov 2012 11:55 AM PST Because we live in a brave new world rife with possibilities (and occasional pedophile dolls), Miley Cyrus has been offered a million dollars to get naked and make out with a chick on camera. An offer that was floated her way because she had a porn star in her new music video, so clearly that Read More ...

Chris Brown Is A Philanthropist Now Posted: 05 Nov 2012 11:10 AM PST “Haha! Only if you peep my phone, silly.” Because unlike Rihanna, Chris Brown can’t get close enough to us to punch the memory of him beating and biting the shit out of her until she almost died, he’s started the Symphonic Love Foundation to “support and create arts programs for youth while encouraging every day Read More ...

Is Gisele Bundchen Having Octuplets? Jesus Christ Posted: 05 Nov 2012 09:56 AM PST If Alessandra Ambrosio has taught me anything, it’s that pregnancy involves never gaining an ounce of weight for nine months and then a beautiful baby instantly materializes out of your stomach with absolutely zero structural damage. (Unless you’re Jessica Simpson and eat the instruction manual without reading it.) Except here’s Gisele Bundchen in Miami yesterday Read More ...

Alec Baldwin Seems Really Secure About His Marriage, I Sense A Lot of Confidence Here Posted: 05 Nov 2012 09:20 AM PST “This will only take a sec, babe. I’m just so athletic and virile I have to exercise every couple of minutes or my strong, powerful muscles lock up. ‘Too young at heart,’ my doctor calls it. Why don’t you go on ahead? I’ll catch up in a minute. (Alright, sidewalk, it’s just you and me Read More ...

Rumer Willis Proves I’ll Post Anyone In A Bikini, Literally Anyone Posted: 05 Nov 2012 07:58 AM PST Here’s Rumer Willis in Maui over the weekend because it’s my job to educate people like myself who wonder if her body’s as unfortunate as her face. Turns out the answer is “Not quite, but almost,” so can somebody write that down in a log somewhere for future generations? I can’t see how they wouldn’t Read More ...

There’s A Justin Bieber Sex Doll. Game Over. Posted: 05 Nov 2012 07:12 AM PST Because Dottie Sandusky needed something to bake into a cake this holiday season and/or re-electing a secret Muslim president that shoots hurricanes out of his eyes isn’t enough for God to bathe us all in a lake of fire, the fine folks over at Pipedream have released a Justin Bieber sex doll. Surprisingly, I don’t Read More ...

Kristen Stewart Wore This And Other News Posted: 05 Nov 2012 06:21 AM PST - All of these girls were super bored until you showed up. Their other tables are so lame. - “If Mad Max and Zoolander had a baby, it would look like Robert Pattinson in L'Uomo Vogue.” - John Travolta will always be the love of Kirstie Alley‘s life. Somebody should console fudge Read More ...

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