Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

New Couple Alert: Gossip Girl‘s Penn Badgley Is Dating Zoe Kravitz

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 11:19 AM PDT

Unlike his TV alter ego Dan Humphrey, it would seem Penn Badgley has been able to get over Serena and move on with his life. He was recently photographed canoodling with actress Zoe Kravitz (daughter of Lenny) in NYC, a coupling that seems to make much more sense than him and fashion plate Blake Lively.

The pair was snapped by the relentless paps as they walked around Soho together yesterday, holding hands and even sharing a kiss when they parted:

Kissing looks kind of gross in real life, doesn’t it? Anyway, a semi-literate source told US Weekly that they’re “Doing great! So happy!” so it must be true.

This morsel comes suspiciously close on the heels of news of Serena van der Woodsen Blake Lively’s split from summer lovah Leonardo DiCaprio. Is he trying to rub it in a little, like “who’s Lonely Boy NOW, bitch?!” Probably not. But seeing as his celebrity peaked when he was associated with Blake Lively, it would not be totally out of left field for his publicist to hitch his name to her once again by timing the news this way.

Anyway, enough about Serena. Look at Penn and Zoe being all cute and boho chic together! They even have matching skinny jeans and hobo hats, like something straight out of a goddamn Urban Outfitters catalog.

I can’t wait until they make beautiful babies together, and clothe them in tiny Joy Division t-shirts.

(Via Us Weekly)

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Video: Jeff Mangum Played At Occupy Wall Street Last Night!

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 10:34 AM PDT

After the huge let down that was the Radiohead hoax, the folks of Occupy Wall Street got a nice little pick-me-up last night in the form of a surprise acoustic performance by none other than Jeff Mangum, formerly of Neutral Milk Hotel. Fresh off a rare appearance at this past weekend’s All Tomorrow’s Parties festival, the notoriously reclusive artist headed over to Zucotti Park to lift the protestors’ spirits (and, at some points, their voices) with song.

“Hello, my name is Jeff from Neutral Milk Hotel, and I’m at Occupy Wall Street,” he said into the camera when asked to introduce himself. The footage may have been grainy, but that pleasantly nasal voice was unmistakable as he played cult favorites like “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea” and “King Of Carrot Flowers, Part 1.” He also covered “Themselves,” a populist anthem by The Minutemen.

I was somewhat afraid the hippies at OWS would not be hip enough to music from the past decade to know who he was, but a lot of them shouted out requests and sang along. I guess some indie rock fans care about stuff, after all. Who will appear at OWS next?? My money’s on Conor Oberst.

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The Best Way To Celebrate Arrested Development‘s Return: ‘I Just Blue Myself’ Ice Cream

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 10:25 AM PDT

Jon DeFreest has done it again! The man who brought us Ron Swanson and Dexter-themed ice creams has come up with a fake Ben & Jerry’s flavor celebrating Arrested Development‘s return to TV. And while Mitch Hurwitz‘s show introduced us to the many kooky, unique members of the Bluth family, Jon’s chosen the best candidate: David Cross‘ double-entendre-dropping, Never Nude, aspiring actor/doctor Tobias Fünke.

Really, the only way to celebrate this is with a collection of Tobias’ best quotes.

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Art Crush: The Best Zooey Deschanel Fan Art

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 10:24 AM PDT

I tried my hardest to give a chance, but I just can’t watch FOX’s New Girl. To me, it’s nothing but archetypal characters, predictable plotlines and jokes you can see coming a mile a way. But it seems America disagrees with my assessment — the show’s ratings are terrific, and I imagine that has a lot to do with star Zooey Deschanel, that manic pixie dream girl extraordinaire. I understand that Zooey’s very pretty and super quirky, but what’s the wider appeal of this actress that can suck in audiences by the millions and keep them there for half an hour? Well, who better to look for answers from than the fans themselves? Here’s a gallery of fan art I think may explain some of Zooey’s magical pull with boys and girls alike.

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Gene Simmons And Shannon Tweed’s Wedding Is More Of An Affront To Traditional Marriage Than Gay Marriage Is

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 09:48 AM PDT

Last weekend, Gene Simmons made an honest woman out of his long-suffering common-law wife Shannon Tweed. Despite the fact that they’ve been together for 28 years and have two grown children, Gene continues to cheat on her—and can’t promise that he’ll be 100% faithful after they’re officially married. It’s gotten so bad that when he tried to justify his philandering ways on The Joy Behar Show a few months ago, Shannon walked out of the interview.

So people who refuse to be faithful are allowed to get hitched whenever they like, and queer couples still aren’t granted that right? Here’s an argument against same-sex marriage, from a 2003 editorial in the National Review:

Gay-marriage advocates often argue that marriage will reduce the gay male tendency toward promiscuous sex. I have often suggested that a different and more disturbing effect is more likely. Since many of even the most committed and stable gay relationships are sexually open, there is a danger that gay marriage will help to break the now taken-for-granted connection between marriage and monogamy.

For an interesting foreshadowing of this effect, consider the recent piece in Salon by Michael Alvear. Alvear's take on the Clinton scandal is that straights need to lighten up about marital infidelity and model their marriages on the sexually open relationships so familiar to gays. This is exactly the sort of thing I have suggested we will be seeing plenty of after gay marriage is legalized. But after legalization, instead of someone like Alvear saying that straight marriages ought to follow the example of gay relationships, he'll be able to say that straight marriages ought to become more like gay marriages. That's going to make it very tough to communicate the meaning of marital fidelity to a new generation.

Here are quotes from last night’s season 6 premiere of Gene Simmons Family Jewels. The wedding special airs next week; this episode was devoted entirely to Shannon’s misgivings and fears now that Gene has proposed.

Last season’s flashbacks:

Daughter Sophie to Gene: “If it had to come to where Mom leaves, I’m going with her.”

Shannon (when Gene finally proposes): “Who’d want to marry a [bleeped out, but we'll assume from the context either asshole or fucker] like you?”

Therapy:

Shannon: “He doesn’t promise to be faithful to me.”

Shannon: “Up until not long ago, he still had clandestine answering services where he’s checking up on women who have been calling him.”

Shannon: “It’s about me. It’s about my right to know what was going on.”

Shannon: “It’s a yes, [but] it’s conditional.”

Shannon: “He doesn’t promise to be faithful to me.”
Gene: “I will do my best…”
Shannon: “He won’t say it.”
This is how Gene forces himself to repeat after her: “‘I promise to be faithful only unto you’…blegh!”

Shannon: “He wants an escape clause because he’s always had one. Living with me and not being married was always his escape clause… Now you’ll be deliberately breaking a promise.”
Therapist: “You assume he’s going to break it.”

Gene and Shannon’s engagement party:

Son Nick to Gene: “The ring is symbolic; it’s a promise. It only matters if you do it. So mean it.”

When your kid has to tell you that, you’re in trouble.

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Amanda Seyfried Is Hanging On By A Thread

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 09:13 AM PDT

Talented young actress Amanda Seyfried said some things in a recent interview with Glamour UK that make us worry about her just a little. Since becoming famous, she’s started having panic attacks, and she’s been going to a therapist to try to deal with them.

Via HuffPo:

Seyfried calls therapy a “great tool” and said she’s doing well but admits, “I still do get terribly nervous, and that’s party due to the fact i think too much and overanalyze things. I’ll start worrying about my parents or my dog, and I’ll picture him opening the window of my apartment and falling out, even though I can’t get that thing open myself.”

She also talked about how much she hated the tabloid attention that she got for dating Ryan Phillipe:

When I was with Ryan, people followed me so much more, and that’s probably one of the reasons that I’m not looking to date someone who’s famous now.

Poor Amanda Seyfried, right? She can’t even enjoy dating a hot famous guy because the press won’t leave her alone.

Seriously, though, this kind of confirms my theory that if someone is nice and normal, as Amanda Seyfried seems to be, or just not a huge extrovert, the celebrity status that comes along with being a successful film actor might be tough to handle. I mean, I understand why we do it, but it seems unfair that just because someone likes acting and is good at it, they should have to have their privacy invaded by people like me. Fortunately, most of the kinds of people who want to be actors are of the attention-loving variety, so this isn’t a widespread problem in Hollywood. Keep on taking that Lexapro, girl. You’re going to be okay.

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Video: British Child Sophia Grace Brownlee Dominates Nicki Minaj’s ‘Super Bass’

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 08:42 AM PDT

Game over, other people who want to perform Nicki Minaj‘s “Super Bass.” A little English girl named Sophia Grace Brownlee has done a better job with it than you ever will. Plus, she’s wearing a princess costume and has a backup dancer — both things that Nicki would no doubt approve of.

Here’s Sophia performing Keri Hilson‘s “Turn My Swag On”:

(via)

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TMZ Is Milking Tupac’s Sex Tape, Releases 3 (Sort Of NSFW) Photos

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 08:40 AM PDT

The way that TMZ is treating Tupac Shakur‘s sex tape is ironically the exact opposite of what’s actually depicted in the video. Case in point: Tupac walks into a party, grabs a girl, and directs her head toward his crotch without any preamble. By contrast, TMZ is slowly teasing out the details of the (dead?) rap legend’s taped performance; although they say they’ll release the tape soon, first they’re hyping it up more by releasing a few stills.

This photo above is the most SFW—it’s Tupac posing with rapper Money B in the midst of things. The other two photos are of Tupac and the mystery lady. He doesn’t even seem to notice her; he’s either rapping to the music or shooting the shit with the other people at the party. (Who must be used to this? No one seems bothered by the sexytimes going down.)

Seeing as the tape ends with Tupac preparing to have sex with the woman, we’re guessing the third photo occurs somewhere near the end of the five-minute tape.

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Crushable Quoteable: Johnny Depp Apologizes For Comparing Paparazzi Photography To Rape

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 08:11 AM PDT

Johnny Depp is the latest celeb who’s been forced to backtrack from a shitty, insensitive comment he made to the press. In an interview with Vanity Fair, Johnny said the following about being photographed by the paparazzi: “Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.” Naturally, the comment was pretty alarming and now Johnny has released a statement apologizing for his insensitivity:

“I am truly sorry for offending anyone in any way. I never meant to. It was a poor choice of words on my part in an effort to explain a feeling. I understand there is no comparison and I am very regretful. In an effort to correct my lack of judgment, please accept my heartfelt apology.”

Whether or not Johnny’s sorry isn’t really the issue. What’s worrisome here is the fact that the word “rape” has become synonymous with the word “violate” — to the point that people in the public eye who should know better are regularly making comments that trivialize sexual assault. (Kristen Stewart said something similar not long ago.)

Sure, being photographed by the paparazzi must suck, but it’s not the same thing as rape, so knock it the heck off, famous people.

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Glee Report Card: You Get An Asian F

Posted: 05 Oct 2011 07:47 AM PDT

Just as I'm starting to get back into Glee, Fox has to go and throw a hiatus in my face. IN MY FACE. Now I just feel cranky and ashamed. But Tuesday night's episode was good enough to tide me over for a while—there were some solid emotional moments (most of which didn't make me cringe at all!) and plenty of good performances. So let's take a look at those songs.

"Spotlight"
Performed by Mercedes (with Brittany and Tina)
Originally performed by Jennifer Hudson
This was probably Mercedes' best song in a Mercedes-heavy episode, so I wish they hadn't let the credits roll over it. Time constraints are time constraints, but it really takes away from what was otherwise a very good performance. Either way, this set the stage for the episode well, with Mercedes looking for her moment in the—say it with me—spotlight. While I do have to lower the grade for the intrusion of the credits, I'll throw in some bonus points for Rachel's horrified reaction faces.
Grade: B+

"Run the World (Girls)"
Performed by Brittany, Santana, and the Cheerios
Originally performed by Beyonce
"Asian F" was also a dance-laden episode, for those of you who are into that sort of thing. Heather Morris is such a fantastic dancer that I'm actually a little bit attracted to her. (Holy shit, did Glee turn me straight?) That having been said, this whole number was way too on-the-nose—not to mention unnecessary in an already overstuffed episode. The pep rally was just silly, and I don't buy the sudden swell of support for President Pierce just because she's female. Remember when she didn't know where babies came from?
Grade: C

"Cool"
Performed by Mike
From the musical West Side Story
Yay, it's Mike Chang's moment to shine! And he totally nailed it. Harry Shum, Jr. is the best dancer on this show next to Heather Morris. He's so good that—well, suffice it to say, I'm gay again. And while we're on the subject, daaamn he looked good in that tight black tee and jeans. "Cool" was a great choice for Mike: it doesn't require much vocal range, so he could pull it off without being Auto-Tuned past recognition. Definitely the most dynamic performance of the night. Sucks to be you, everyone else!
Grade: A

"It's All Over"
Performed by The Glee Club
From the musical Dreamgirls
All the Glee kids playing musical theater dress-up? This is the show I signed up for. Mercedes is totally Effie White: she's rightfully pissed because she's underappreciated, but she's also such a brat that you can't always root for her. I didn't even mind that Glee tinkered with the lyrics a bit, because it made perfect sense as a number taking place in Mercedes' head. And seriously, girl, we do all got pain. Oh, one note: whatever Kurt was doing, he needs to never do again. Almost ruined the whole thing for me.
Grade: B+

"Out Here On My Own"
Performed by Mercedes and Rachel
From the musical Fame
Anyone else underwhelmed by the big diva-off? "Asian F" was an episode of great performances, and this should have been the big climax. I don't know—maybe they shot their wad on the Dreamgirls bit? I just didn't get chills from either of the performers, nor did I think one was noticeably better than the other. It didn't help that I was sick of both of them by this point in the episode, but I'd say Mercedes and Rachel got upstaged by just about everyone else. Give Maria to Santana. Or fuck, give it to Mike Chang in a wig. He'll feel pretty.
Grade: C+

"Fix You"
Performed by Mr. Schue and The Glee Club
Originally performed by Coldplay
Guys, I am conflicted! I have basically no interest at all in the Mr. Schue/Emma relationship, but this was legitimately sweet! I didn't shed any tears, but my lip did a full-on tremble. Am I pregnant, or was this just the right song for the moment? I also loved seeing all the kids' reactions to the cast list going up. The magic of musical theater! But "Fix You" sort of lost me with the big finish. Next time just let the moment play out naturally! Restraint, Ryan Murphy. Learn to love it.
Grade: B

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