Cele|bitchy |
- Sarah Jessica Parker in Narciso Rodriguez: unflattering or cute?
- Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez welcomed a fur baby into their puppy love
- Michael Lohan arrested for domestic violence again, complains of chest pains again
- Emma Stone in white at the Hollywood Film Awards: corpsey & rough?
- Christina Hendricks’s rack wants you to drink some scotch
- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Pucci at the Film Awards: hot or bizarre?
- Linnocent is posing for Playboy for “nearly” $1 million
- Gisele Bundchen: “When Benjamin eats broccoli, he thinks it’s dessert!”
- Michael Fassbender vs. Viggo Mortensen: it’s no longer a fair fight?
- George Clooney & Stacy Keibler at the H’wood Film Awards: busted & budget?
Sarah Jessica Parker in Narciso Rodriguez: unflattering or cute? Posted: 25 Oct 2011 08:51 AM PDT Last night was the premiere of Tower Heist in NYC. I've gone back and forth on how this film will perform, if it will be any good, and whether I should take my mother to see it (she really wants to see it). Brett Ratner directed it, and IMO, Ratner = Self-aggrandizing BS. He's just creepy as a person, and as a director… he's a hack. But Tower Heist does feature an interesting ensemble including Eddie Murphy, Ben Stiller, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick and Gabourey Sidibe. Anyway, last night's premiere - Sarah Jessica Parker, wife of one of the stars of the film, ended up being the most photographed woman on the red carpet. What does that say about the movie? I don't know. I do know that I hate her Narciso Rodriguez dress. I get the idea of it (I think): wear something low-key yet stylish to your husband's premiere. I get that she didn't want to wear a big gown (like Paz de la Huerta did… more on that in a moment), so I like that SJP was consciously like, "This is not my night." But then she made it all about her anyway. I just don't think the dress is pretty or well constructed, or even flattering on Sarah Jessica's body. James Wilke is adorable, though. Eddie Murphy! I can't help it, I'm looking forward to the Oscars this year because Eddie is hosting. He needs to take off those sunglasses, though. Next up: Paz de la Huerta, trying to steal SJP's thunder, and the thunder of every one on the red carpet. Paz isn't even in the movie! And she still put on a gown (with a really long train) and posed like crazy on the red carpet. Ridiculous. Here's Ben Stiller and Christina Taylor. She looks gorgeous - look at her beautiful face. She's ageless. Ben is meh. And last we have Gabourey Sidibe. I like her hair here. |
Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez welcomed a fur baby into their puppy love Posted: 25 Oct 2011 08:22 AM PDT Birth control. That's all I think about whenever I look at photos of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. I don't have any strong feelings for or against Justin and Selena as a couple - I think they're cute at times, and sometimes they're kind of weird and gross. But mostly I'm just happy that they've found each other and they make each other happy, and mostly I just hope that they're using really good birth control. I have my fingers crossed that Selena is on the pill, or maybe Depo Provera. No, I don't think birth control is only the lady's responsibility, I'm just saying: LOOK AT HIM. He isn't thinking about birth control. So I hope Selena is. Anyway, here's a nice little story about how Selena and Justin are super-coupley and loved up: they've adopted a fur baby together! I'll admit to liking this story so much:
[From People] OMG. Selena is an animal rescue advocate? She took Justin to play with rescue puppies? GAH. I kind of love her now. I know I should be stressed out about the fate of Baylor ("Baylor" is the name we'll use when Blake Lively and Taylor Swift hook up) because Selena is on tour, etc. But I have confidence in Selena. Between she and Justin, they'll be able to handle their new bundle of puppy love. |
Michael Lohan arrested for domestic violence again, complains of chest pains again Posted: 25 Oct 2011 08:08 AM PDT
TMZ has the details from the police report and it’s disturbing. Apparently Lohan and Major fought when she wouldn’t give him a beej, and also after they had sex and he refused to pull out. It’s unclear if the two incidents are the same. Lohan squeezed Major’s arms, pushed her, and threatened to slit her wrists and throw her off the balcony. Lohan complained of chest pains, so instead of being taken to jail he was taken to the hospital. This is the exact same thing he did in March when he was arrested for three counts of felony domestic violence against Major. He complained of chest pains and got taken to the hospital back then too. Rinse and repeat.
[From TMZ] This is the trashy, abusive manipulative creep that was Lindsay Lohan’s sometimes father figure. In no way does this excuse or justify her behavior, her addictions or her sense of clueless entitlement, it just kind of explains where it came from. Time and again we’ve seen how much of a bottom feeding scumbag Michael Lohan is. It’s just a matter of time before he’s in jail again. Like father like daughter. |
Emma Stone in white at the Hollywood Film Awards: corpsey & rough? Posted: 25 Oct 2011 07:32 AM PDT Hopefully this will be the last of the Hollywood Film Awards photos. To see what CB and I have covered: go here for Stacy Keibler & George Clooney, here for the Carey Mulligan-Michelle Williams throwdown, and here for Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and assorted bad fashion. This post is just some extra people that I wanted to discuss, and I'm starting with little Emma Stone. You guys know I like Emma Stone, although my love for her has been waning a bit lately, mostly because of her sketchy style choices. Last night was another fashion mystery: Why would a pale redhead wear a shapeless white sheet? The dress is Jonathan Saunders, and the shoes are (hideous) Christina Dior. I even hate her hair here. Here's Emma's Help costar Allison Janney, who I love. I like her simple little dress, and I like her darker hair too. Boys! Here are Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tom Felton. Is it just me, or is Tom Felton looking better and better lately? He's a sexy young man. Ray Liotta, looking… um… yeah, I'll just say it. I still would. I would hit like a house on fire. I love him so much, and he's lost some weight and he looks GREAT. Here's Felicity Jones and Anton Yelchin. I don't get the Anton Yelchin thing, and Felicity Jones's face bugs me. Andrea Riseborough in Vionnet. She has such weird style, and she's got one of those Cate Blanchett faces - she looks different in every photo, in every film. And last but not least, Glenn Close. I love Glenn, but this outfit sucks. |
Christina Hendricks’s rack wants you to drink some scotch Posted: 25 Oct 2011 07:01 AM PDT When I first saw this photo ^^^ of Christina Hendricks in the new issue of Men's Health, I thought, "FINALLY. A magazine stylist and photographer that know what to do with a pale, buxom ginger lady." I'm just amazed because Christina is so pretty, and yet in magazine spreads, she almost always looks like corpsey hell. However, even though Men's Health managed to get one good shot, this also happened: Rough. Poor Christina. Anyway, she also gave an interview to Men's Health, and the subject of the day was drinking, and how Christina loves a man who loves scotch:
[From Men's Health] God, I want a drink. I haven't had a drink since my birthday, and before that I was dry for months. I go through months-long stages where I completely eschew alcohol, but I may have to end that soon. I would love a scotch right now. Damn it, it's not even 10 a.m. Christina Hendricks promotes drinking in the morning, that's how powerful her boobs are. |
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in Pucci at the Film Awards: hot or bizarre? Posted: 25 Oct 2011 07:01 AM PDT
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley tried to work a intricately beaded Pucci gown and kind of failed, in my opinion. She’s so hot and she’s gotten it absolutely right so many times in the past. It’s kind of refreshing to see her with messy pulled back hair, minimal makeup and a dress that makes her look more like a rare exotic bird than one of the hottest models around. Even the chick who gets to sleep with Jason Statham looks like crap once in a while. Elle Fanning, still just 13 years old(!), wore a very conservative off white Valentino dress that could pass as a tablecloth. She accented the look with a Heidi braid. It’s kind of sweet for a kid and while I’m not a fan of the dress, I like that she’s covered up. Julianne Hough really shone in a tight beige dress with a sequin swirl pattern and a deep v-neck that went nearly to her belly button. In theory I don’t like this dress and find her matchy shoes too much. On her though it worked and she looked amazing. Love her hair and makeup. Amber Heard vamped it up in a blue silk dress with a dramatic bodice slit. I thought we were about to see sideboob, but it didn’t materialize. As we’ve seen in the past from her, the color seems a little off, but I think it’s more her hair color this time than the colors in her dress. Her hair and makeup are phenomenal though. Busy Phillips was goofy in an updo and a tight black dress with a sequin boob window. I still love her though. She always looks like she’s having so much fun and would be a blast to be around. Bryce Dallas Howard does not get a pregnancy pass for this mess. She has no boob support, the dress looks like a nightie, and she may have gone for the soft wave look with her hair but the result is no better than an air dry. Her jewelry and shoes look cheap too. Get it together, Bryce! Sara Rue showed off her body by Jenny Craig in a purple formfitting gown that was the same shade as Stacy Keibler’s dress. She lost a lot of weight and looks different due to that of course, but what did she do to her face? I get the impression that she had some work done. Viola Davis was one of the best dressed of the night in this off-the shoulder jade flowing gown that she accessorized perfectly. She’s so well put together without going overboard. Photo credit: WENN and Fame |
Linnocent is posing for Playboy for “nearly” $1 million Posted: 25 Oct 2011 06:35 AM PDT When I'm writing endlessly about Linnocent and her insane crack shenanigans, you know I like to use "crack" as a verb, noun, adjective, and perhaps even an adverb ("she walked crackily"). Sometimes I'll stop myself and wonder, "Gee, will people ever think I'm talking about Linnocent's actual crack, as in her 'vadge,' as opposed to her all-encompassing crackhead status?" Do you ever make that mistake? Because I sometimes catch myself and think, "NO. I can't say 'crack' here because it could be read in a way that is much too vulgar." With that in mind, there's some news about The Cracken's crack, and I don't care how vulgar that is. She's posing for Playboy! And the crackhead is getting PAID too.
[From TMZ] Am I alone in not thinking this is some huge deal? Linnocent has already shown her firecrotch in candids, and she's already done several half-naked photo shoots (like the Marilyn one). I'm only surprised that she hasn't posed for Playboy before this. Plus, that million-dollar payday will certainly help with her hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, plus her legal fees, plus her drug "expenses". Basically, she's already blown through that $1 million before it's even in her hot little hands. Oh, and here's another interesting story - Linnocent just fired her manager Lou Taylor. Taylor also managed Britney Spears, and according to TMZ's source (Dina), "Lindsay felt Taylor (who also manages Britney Spears) didn’t have the time to manage her and Lohan wanted someone who could put more effort into her…Lindsay felt her finances (which were Taylor’s responsibility) were beginning to slip through the cracks and word was getting back to her that her balances were not being handled in a timely manner … in part because Taylor is based in Tennessee." Linnocent's delusional rep, Steve Honig, told TMZ that "the split was amicable". Is anyone else surprised that LL still had a manager? That's the most shocking part. I also like how The Cracken is basically throwing Lou Taylor under the bus, and blaming him for her cracked-out financial mess. I wonder who Linnocent's new manager is going to be? CoughcoughMotherCrackiecough. After all, it was probably Dina's idea to get her daughter to pose for Playboy. |
Gisele Bundchen: “When Benjamin eats broccoli, he thinks it’s dessert!” Posted: 25 Oct 2011 06:30 AM PDT Gisele Bundchen has opened her mouth again, and there’s sure to be at least a little trouble in the resulting fallout. The Brazilian supermodel covers the December issue of Vogue UK. To date, Gisele (who Kaiser notes is very effusive and, while condescending, probably doesn’t mean to offend) continues to believe that she’s the Best Mother worldwide, who managed to potty train a seven-month old and not turn into a human garbage disposal while she was pregnant. She also pissed off a lot of people by saying that six months of breastfeeding should be mandated but later backtracked (sort of) on those comments. Now, Gisele is talking about breastfeeding again and also about how wonderful her life is because she works so hard at everything. Sounds pretty Goopy so far, right? It’s actually not nearly as bad as some of the things that Gisele has said in the past:
[From Vogue UK] Oh, I’m sure her sisters will absolutely love to read this interview. On the “broccoli as dessert” thing, I sort of see where she’s coming from. A lot of how-to books generally advise feeding babies vegetables before fruit so that they don’t hate veggies after enjoying the tastier stuff. However, you can’t hide sweets from children forever, and little Benjamin will one day realize that mommy pulled a fast one on him. Subsequently, he’ll go buck wild by gorging himself on about a dozen cupcakes and causing Gisele to competely freak out. And yes, she will freak out. I’ll never forget the look on my daughter’s face (seriously, she gave me the side eye) at her first birthday party when grandma spoonfed her some ice cream. Luckily, she’s since learned moderation, but I can only imagine what a mess it would’ve been if I hadn’t allowed her to have sweets and then she discovered them once she started school. Let that be a lesson to Gisele, not that she’d listen. Still, I do quite like Gisele as a model although I’ll admit to not knowing what the hell is going on in this editorial fashion spread, which was photographed by Mario Testino. Is it the late 1980s all over again? What a day-glo nightmare. Photos courtesy of Vogue UK and The Fashion Spot |
Michael Fassbender vs. Viggo Mortensen: it’s no longer a fair fight? Posted: 25 Oct 2011 05:57 AM PDT Yesterday, the Viggo Mortensen-Michael Fassbender thing was by far the biggest and best post of the day, no disrespect to all of the other posts. I asked a series of questions regarding the Viggodong and the Fassdong, like "If you had to choose one for a one-night-stand and one for a relationship, which would you choose for what?" I thought it was fair fight, judging from the new Dangerous Method photo call pics - Fassie looked unkempt and randy, Viggo looked dashing and suave. We had a lot of fun trying to choose and come up with situations in which many of us could have equal time with the Sophie's Choice of dongs. But then I was looking through these new photos of last night's Dangerous Method premiere at the London Film Festival. Okay… it's no longer a fair fight. FASSBENDER WINS. Can you seriously look at these photos and NOT choose Fassie? Viggo looks like he's wearing makeup! And the makeup was not applied correctly. Is he wearing lip gloss? Meanwhile, Fassie is all dongy and beautiful in a great grey suit and my GOD his ginger is so dark and gorge. Sigh… Fassbender for a night of passion AND a relationship. No, wait. Viggo for a night, just to see what the fuss is about. And Fassie for forever. Fassbender Eternity. Fassbender Infinity. That being said, if you still choose Viggo over Fassie, that's more Fassdong for me. So have at LipGloss Mortensen. (Sidenote: CB just told me that she would still choose Viggo over Fassie, even with the lipstick. So… have at him, ladies. More Fassbender for me!) |
George Clooney & Stacy Keibler at the H’wood Film Awards: busted & budget? Posted: 25 Oct 2011 05:24 AM PDT Last night was a pretty great night for premieres and galas and events, so today is going to be full of photo-heavy posts. First up: the Hollywood Film Awards (presented by Starz). The HFA got a surprisingly good turnout considering it's not really a big awards show. The "stars" of the evening were definitely George Clooney and his girlfriend Stacy Keibler. As we know from yesterday's post, Keibler is now charging up to $25,000 a night for these "personal appearances". Stacy is wearing this purple Maria Lucia Hohan (the same designer of the dress Stacy wore in London). It's awful, isn't it? Stacy had been steadily improving, but I fear we are witnessing a D-list relapse! It looks like a really bad pageant dress, only I don't even think that pageant girls wear these kinds of boob-embellishment gowns anymore. Plus, the bottom half is sheer, and that dress feature is… rather tacky. In this instance. Um, are those built-in black bicycle shorts underneath the sheer skirt? WTF? Why do Clooney's girls always look like strippers that got off of an eight-hour shift? And why does Clooney keep pointing to Stacy's poor vagina? To get that image out of your head, here are some photos of the always-lovely Ewan McGregor, who was also at the HFA last night. I'm not in love with his hair right now, but I still love him so much. Ewan and Clooney are tight, you know. I wonder what Ewan thinks of Clooney's girls? |
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