Saturday, October 29, 2011

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy


“Kat Dennings is rendered unrecognizable by bangs trauma” links

Posted: 28 Oct 2011 11:11 AM PDT

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Kat Dennings's bangs & boobs trauma in GQ is just rough. [Celebuzz]
Omar Sharif smacks a woman. Just because. [Gawker]
Joseph Gordon Levitt is a Hot Cop. [LaineyGossip]
Anderson Cooper is talking about Courtney Stodden again. [Dlisted]
A cute ginger posing in a bra & panties. [Yeeeah]
What celebrity would you want to punch? Gwyneth. K-Stew. [Pajiba]
Eva Longoria isn't smuggling anything. [IDLITW]
Oh, Solange. Girl, your hair still needs help. [Go Fug Yourself]
Leighton Meester looks wasted here. [Pop Sugar]
Another nice outing for Christina Hendricks. [A Socialite Life]
Linnocent's morgue smoke break. Cat-eyes? [ICYDK]
You bitches like Jensen Ackles, right? [OMG Blog]
Tyra Banks flashes her beav to innocent students. [I'm Not Obsessed]
I'm worried that Matthew Perry is back on drugs. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Review of The Rum Diary (some spoilers). [Moe Jackson]
I wish Nicole Scherzinger would just go away. [Life & Style]
Eva Longoria's lesbianism is banned in Spain. [Celebslam]

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Britney Spears was a mess, a total disaster for her London performance

Posted: 28 Oct 2011 10:54 AM PDT

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These are just a few choice photos from Britney Spears's concert in London last night. On one side, I always feel bad about mentioning the state of Britney's hot mess status, because chica has genuine mental health issues. On the other side, she wants us to look at her. The Mail even noted, "whenever the singer donned a jacket - or in the case of an Egyptian-themed routine, a cape - it was swiftly removed to reveal as much as possible." Britney thinks she looks good, y'all. "LOOK AT MAH BELLY!"

The Mail also reports that Britney "asked for portions of fish and chips and 100 figs and prunes… Toothpaste and McDonald’s cheeseburgers minus the bread rolls were also part of her rider before she performed at London’s The O2 last night." Granted, Brit probably didn't eat ALL of that before she went on stage, but she definitely ate a great deal of it because, in the words of one insider, "She doesn’t count calories when she’s in Britain." Another request Britney allegedly made on her rider? A photo of Princess Diana because "Britney adores the monarchy, Diana was in many ways her inspiration." She also hopes to one day perform for Prince William and Duchess Kate.

If you'd like to read one of the horrible reviews from Britney's performance last night, go here. It involves the words "miming, lethargic, smile so tight it looks painful" and "like a rare animal in a cage.”

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

Who should be cast as Grace Kelly in a new Hollywood film?

Posted: 28 Oct 2011 10:08 AM PDT

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People have been talking about this for days now, and I apologize that it's taken me this long to write about it. It seems that a film has just found its funding, and now there will be some kind of Grace Kelly film made. It's not a bio-pic - thank God. It's more in the vein of The King's Speech and My Week With Marilyn and The Queen - showing a famous person through one of the most trying and difficult ordeals of their life. According to Deadline, this Grace Kelly - or rather, Her Serene Highness, Princess Grace - film will: "cover a half-year period in 1962, when French leader Charles De Gaulle and Monaco's Prince Rainier III were at odds over Monaco's standing as a tax haven. France gave Monaco six months to reform its tax laws, and the situation escalated. By that time, Kelly (33 at the time) had given up her acting career to become a full time princess, and the film details her political manuevering behind the scenes to save Monaco."

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So… Hollywood producers will be casting a Grace Kelly-type in her 30s to play the real Grace Kelly. And now everybody is in a tizzy about casting. Who should it be? I've included my thoughts on some various rumored nominees below. My idea of Grace is… beautiful, obviously. Beautiful, classy, and in no way trashy or budget or busted. Educated, clever AND street-smart. Witty, but not sarcastic. Regal but not patronizing. Elegant. Sassy, without the wink. Basically, there's no one who could do it.

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January Jones. She looks the most like Grace (sort of), but there are issues with January. I think she's only capable of playing characters who are immature, haughty bitches. Plus, she might be smart in real life (debatable), but she is unable to come across as witty and intelligent on-screen.

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Cate Blanchett. If only Cate could play EVERY lady. Ten years ago, Cate would have been the shoo-in. I think she might be too old to be considered at this point, which pains me. She would make a lovely Princess Grace.

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Gwyneth Paltrow. Bitch wishes. She probably thinks she's the lead candidate, and God knows, she might be. I hope producers understand that most people loathe her.

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Rebecca Romijn. I just think she'll be considered for the role at some point, and she's not even the worse the possibility. She might be too… smiley and goofy, though.

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Charlize Theron. Eh. I just don't see it, personally. With Charlize, there's always the problem of warmth. As in, she doesn't have any.

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Amber Heard. Just because she's young and blonde and she has nice boobs - that alone will get her a reading. Plus, she's like this year's It Girl. There's a resemblance to Grace too.

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Diane Kruger. Pretty. But too German to play Grace - her accent is so strong! I don’t believe she could lose her accent convincingly.

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And finally, Blake Lively. BITCH PLEASE.

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UPDATE: I'm adding a few more photos of some of the suggestions you guys have listed. I refuse to acknowledge some of the ladies you've named, though. Amy Adams is too petite and cutesy. Emma Watson - are you joking? NO. Of the ladies you've come up with, I could maybe see Rosamund Pike, but only with looks. I doubt they would cast anyone but an American for Grace Kelly. Evan Rachel Wood is too young, but she would make an interesting Grace. Michelle Williams is too… hipster, too precious.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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