Thursday, November 3, 2011

Crushable

Crushable


The Daily WTF: 83-Year-Old Man Arrested For Prostitution

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 10:54 AM PDT

83-year-old Ben Clifford Dawson was arrested in Iowa yesterday on suspicion of trying to prostitute himself out. Evidently, Ben owed some money to a lady and decided that instead of paying her back with cash, he’d trade sexual favors. Hot, steamy, 83-year-old sexual favors. The woman was understandably not enthused by Ben’s proposal, and when he started kissing her neck in persistence, she called the cops.

I know that what this man did is weird and creepy and totally sexually harassment, and I know my impulse to feel in any way charmed is so totally wrong, but come one — look at that mugshot. Ain’t senility grand?

(via BuzzFeed)

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Art Crush: Movie Posters From The Young Adult Pop-Up Screenings

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 10:49 AM PDT

Paramount has been promoting Diablo Cody‘s new movie Young Adult in a cool way: By holding pop-up screenings around the country featuring the movie’s stars. Depending on the town, you might get to see stars Charlize Theron and Patton Oswalt and director Jason Reitman. But no matter what, each screening’s attendees received a special limited-edition poster. We count six in total, each equally dark and irreverent like the movie. (No surprise, since they were commissioned by LA’s cult-art experts at Gallery1988.)

Check ‘em out and cross your fingers that Young Adult might appear in your hometown next. And even if it doesn’t, the movie comes out on December 16.

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Video: Check Out This Insane Interview With Patrice Wilson, The Guy Who Wrote ‘Friday’ For Rebecca Black

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 10:37 AM PDT

A Welsh journalist named Jon Ronson has just released a mini-documentary on the making of the viral behemoth that is Rebecca Black’s “Friday,” and it’s notable mainly for the glimpse it gives us into the cuckoo mind of Ark Music Factory founder Patrice Wilson.

First, Ronson talks to Benni Cinkle, a.k.a. the girl sitting next to Rebecca Black in the car scenes in “Friday.” This interview is notable mainly for the fact that Cinkle seems to think Wilson “chooses” his “next big star” based on talent, rather than whose parents are willing to fork over $1,000.

Next, he talks to Wilson at the office of his lawyer, and things get kind of weird. Wilson initially refuses to talk to Ronson, but relents once he finds out Ronson is going to appear on Late Night With Conan O’Brien that night. Wilson then proceeds to:

  • Reveal his musical ignorance by insisting that “Friday” was the first song ever to be written about Friday, or any day(s) of the week, for that matter.
  • Admit that it took him about 30 minutes to write “Friday.”
  • Explain his creative process a bit. (He asks the “artists” when their favorite candy, pet, etc. is and then writes the song “based on the story they give me.”)
  • Say he sees viral potential in Jon Ronson, the guy who is currently interviewing him.

That’s right, it was fate that brought them together! He even sends over a song clearly intended for Ronson to play on Conan O’Brien, which bears the lyrics “I’m on the Conan show, show, show” and “Ark Music made this song for me / Ark Music wrote this song for me / In one day, one day.” Subtle.

Basically, it seems like Wilson isn’t really in on the joke that the songs he writes are popular because they are terrible. In fact, he’s sort of like a real life Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation: relentlessly self-promotional, but lovable for his pathetic lack of self-awareness. It’s apparent this guy isn’t laughing all the way to the bank, but sincerely furrowing his brow as if to say, “finally, my massive talent is bearing fruit.” Either that, or he’s an insanely convincing performance artist. The world may never know.

(Via Popdust)

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The Jelly Bean Art In Kina Grannis’ ‘In Your Arms’ Music Video Is Incredible

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 10:07 AM PDT

When you’re an indie artist, the way to make it big is not to strut around in barely-there outfits or rely on Autotune to make catchy hits. No—you release an innovative, charming music video using 288,000 jelly beans. That’s what Kina Grannis did for her new video “In Your Arms,” and now we’re kind of enamored of her.

The song itself is very sweet, but the Jelly Bellys captured our attention from the moment that they started shifting and swirling into new designs. You can imagine that it was an exhaustive process to make a stop-motion background and incorporate the singer. Just look at the level of detail and shading on each “drawing”!

We can’t decide what our favorite part is—maybe the balloons, the shifting of the seasons, or when Kina herself is transformed into her jelly-bean doppelganger.

Definitely keep up with her on YouTube, where you can find this bonus behind-the-scenes video that reveals the most incredible secret about the shoot: For many of the shots with these jelly-bean murals in the background, Kina had to bend at the waist and shoot these basically on her back since they couldn’t mount the jelly beans.

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Casting HBO’s TV Adaptation Of The Corrections

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 10:04 AM PDT

It’s official, the film adaptation of Jonathan Franzen‘s novel The Corrections will air as a series on HBO. Hooray – I love that book so much! Dianne Wiest and Chris Cooper are already cast as the matriarch and patriarch of a dysfunctional family, but who will play the other characters? Like annoyingly rebellious academic Chip? Or chef Denise, who’s exploring her sexuality? Here’s my dream cast — take notes, HBO.

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Kim Kardashian’s Former Publicist Says She’s A Fake With ‘A Mass Craving For Attention’

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 09:34 AM PDT

Kim Kardashian‘s former publicist Jonathan Jaxson just made a smart PR move for himself: He’s given RadarOnline a an exclusive interview in which he rips his former client a new one. Considering that he started working with Kim when her sex tape debacle happened in 2007, he’s got plenty of dirt on the reality star. Assuming, of course, that he isn’t lying.

Let us preface this by saying that even before Jonathan and Kim became estranged, he was not the perfect publicist. This Gawker takedown from 2008 illustrates his simultaneous inability to spin his client’s (former Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon) nude photo scandal into something positive, as well as his lack of ethics when he tried to get Perez Hilton to promote his personal blog. So, with that in mind…

Jonathan says that when he first met Kim, “she was the sweetest, down-to-earth person” but that she soon became obsessed with spinning out a positive image. And with her sex tape with Ray J, Jonathan had his work cut out for him. Soon it went from running damage control to fabricating the dramatic situations that got Kim tabloid and blog coverage: “I staged so many paparazzi moments for her,” he said. “I arranged for her to be coming out of a jewelry store and made it look like Reggie [Bush, her then-boyfriend] was planning to propose to her.”

But while Kim and Jonathan were gleefully spinning their straw into gold, Reggie got turned off to attention-whoring really quickly. Jonathan says that both of Kim’s famous exes were uncomfortable with Kim’s need for notoreity. Reggie “couldn’t handle the fame” and her estranged husband Kris Humphries “just wanted a wife.”

So what does he have to say about Kim’s decision to file for divorce after only 72 days of wedded bliss? “She knew marriage was a bad PR move as her value has dropped since the wedding,” he said. “She’s very selfish and she knows what she wants her image to be.”

I guess that once you’re no longer working for a celebrity, you don’t feel an obligation to be pleasant about her!

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Courtney Stodden Debuts Her Coffee Run, No Makeup Look

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 10:13 AM PDT

I kind of always thought that the first time I saw Courtney Stodden without makeup on, I’d be presented with this angelic little child made of pure sugar and innocence. Okay, I didn’t really think that, but I did assume she’d look more 16 than 35. But alas, as these photos from a morning coffee run show, even sans-Sephora counter, Courtney appears to be a hardened and world-weary adult.

Doesn’t it sort of look like she’s wearing a pair of black censorship bars over her naked private part areas? And, like, can we get the girl some sneakers? Or flats? Or something more alliterative than those? Oh, Courtney, may you thrill and astonish me forever.

(via Celebuzz)

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Gallery: Photos Of Justin Bieber’s Alleged Baby Mama Mariah Yeater

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 09:40 AM PDT

As you may know by now, a 20-year-old girl named Mariah Yeater is accusing Justin Bieber of fathering her child in a bathroom backstage at one of his concerts. You probably have many questions about this girl, like, “is she kind of insane looking?” “does she have crazy eyes?” and “does she have a demented look about her?” Thankfully, the good people at Celebuzz have dug up some photos this girl posted online to answer all of those questions and more.

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Lady Gaga Is Launching An Anti-Bullying Foundation

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 08:40 AM PDT

Did you know that Harvard and the MacArthur Foundation give out grants for anti-bullying efforts? Those are just two of the high profile partners helping out with Lady Gaga‘s new anti-bullying foundation, called (guess what?) Born This Way. According to The Huffington Post, the foundation will be directed by Gaga herself, as well as her mother, Cynthia Germanotta. (I’m guessing her mother will take on most of the day-to-day duties while Gaga is busy traveling around the world being a pop star.)

But how, you may ask, does one go about bringing an end to bullying, when pretty much every kid bullies another kid at some point or another? Well, the organization will supposedly focus on youth empowerment and “issues like self-confidence, well-being, anti-bullying, mentoring and career development.” Leaving aside the questionable grammar of “issues like anti-bullying,” what does that mean, exactly? All the other things seem targeted towards helping kids who are bullied rise above it. “Anti-bullying” would require the bullies to come in for classes on how to stop bullying people, which I’m pretty sure they know how to do already, but just don’t want to.

Then again, maybe it would be good for kids who are caught bullying other kids to be sent here, rather than punished in some less productive way. As someone who was bullied quite a bit myself, I don’t want to dismiss anything that could help alleviate this problem. Kids are always going to bully each other, but anything that tries to make horrid children behave in a slightly less horrid fashion sounds like a worthwhile effort to me.

(Via HuffPo)

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America’s Next Top Model All Stars Recap: Viral Videos

Posted: 03 Nov 2011 09:46 AM PDT

Every once in a while, America's Next Top Model is so batshit, I have very little to say about it. What can I add to an episode in which the contestants were forced to make "viral" videos? (I put "viral" in quotes, because they didn't actually make viral videos. Relatedly, Tyra Banks doesn't know what "viral" means.) The entire conceit was absurd, and I love how this was presented as a reasonable challenge and not something insane Tyra cooked up while smoking the finest "pot ledom."

"How else can you take your celebrity up a notch than going viral?" Jay Manuel asked. I'm pretty sure that was rhetorical, but sex tape, obviously. He then namechecked such viral sensations as Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber, suggesting that the models could one day join their ranks. And yes, I do think each and every one of these ladies could eventually become just as forgettable as Rebecca Black or even that guy who sang "Chocolate Rain." But before they became YouTube stars, the contestants were asked to co-write and record their own songs.

Allison spent a lot of time freaking out over her inability to sing, which is a completely legitimate concern. I'm baffled by the assumption that all of the models would be able to sing—though I suppose in an age of Auto-tune, anyone can sound halfway not terrible. I'm really more surprised that the contestants were asked to write their own songs: not even Rebecca Black was tasked with that challenge. Allison continued to stress about her song and ended up writing a touching ode to her recently departed father. Because hey, nothing says viral like a dead parent.

When the contestants arrived at the studio to record their songs, they were informed that they'd have to incorporate the phrase "pot ledom," which is "top model" backwards. I have no explanation for this, except perhaps that Tyra is a gnikcuf citanul. I also loved when CBS Records' Tom Polce reminded the models, "You gotta make it fun … It's all about fun." Cut to Allison, who had to incorporate a funky hook into her dirge. Rest in peace, Dad. You were always a pot ledom in my heart.

Somehow Allison managed to make it work. (She's literally an alien, is the only explanation I can come up with.) Lisa, who won the songwriting challenge, killed it, and most of the other models did serviceable jobs. I say "serviceable," because none of these women are professionals, and it showed. While I admired their enthusiasm, I was eager for the worst of the bunch (including my girlcrush Laura) to get Auto-tuned into comfortable mediocrity. And yes, I thought it was cute when Alexandria said, "I feel like I could be a recording artist." But cute in that deluded, vaguely annoying sort of way. Let's not shit ourselves.

The music videos upped the absurdity: back-up lipsynch vocals (yeah, I don't know) were provided by Tyra and internet sensation Keenan Cahill. I'll be kind to Keenan, because he's a 16-year-old kid, but he's famous for lipsynching and he's not even very good at that. (See, I was nice. I could just as easily have said he's a godawful talentless mess.) Tyra and Keenan didn't ruin all of the videos, if only because the majority of them were irredeemably awful to begin with, but they were a frustrating distraction. I sympathize, though: Tyra and Keenan definitely needed the exposure.

I realize I haven't said much about the songs, but they were mostly too generic to merit discussion. Almost all of the contestants chose to write about the competition, the challenges they've faced, and how they'll ultimately emerge victorious—in other words, the same crap they spout every week but this time set to shitty pop beats. Shout outs to Laura for her charmingly inane "Southern Sweet Girl" and to Lisa for the legit fun "I Be Like Whoa." No, Lisa, I be like whoa. Your song was somehow enjoyable.

In the end, Alexandria's flat video didn't cut it. Angelea foretold this chain of events when she noted, "There's a line in her song that says, "Go, go, go.' No, no, no." And while I didn't think Alexandria's song was any worse than Shannon's "World Go Round" or Dominique's "Tooch Ya Booty," I was glad to see her go. For a contestant whose main draw was her bullying behavior, Alexandria spent too much of this cycle flying under the radar. Sorry, girl, but if you want to be a household name, you can't be afraid to make your voice heard. Every pot ledom knows that.

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