Thursday, November 17, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

George Clooney Tried To Train Ryan Gosling To Be The Sexiest Man Alive

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 11:16 AM PST

As you may now by now, our beloved Ryan Gosling has been robbed of the title of People‘s Sexiest Man Alive 2011 by the considerably less dreamboat-y Bradley Cooper. While it’s clear that this is a huge black mark on our nation’s history, we can only hope our Baby Goose will continue his training with previous SMA George Clooney and win twice as hard next year. That’s right, I said training.

In a red carpet interview with Extra at the L.A. premiere of The Descendants this past Tuesday, Clooney expressed his disappointment over the upset, explaining that he had been grooming Gosling for the position:

“He [Gosling] really wants it. He’s been saying… the whole time we were on the set of ‘Ides,’ he was like, ‘How did you pull that off?’ So I called up Brad Pitt and we worked with him for weeks on the walk… we told him how to train… everything.”

Argh! That sounds like the cutest training session ever. However, it being 2011, Gosling can at least take solace in the fact that the whole entire Internet believes People was wrong.

(Via HuffPo)

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Ryan Gosling’s Fans Are Protesting Outside Of People Magazine’s Offices

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 11:03 AM PST

Life lesson: Never come between Ryan Gosling fans and the man they love. We completely agree that he was robbed of People‘s Sexiest Man Alive cover; Bradley Cooper, though good-looking shirtless, just doesn’t stack up to the multitalented and adorable Canadian star. But here’s a whole new level of commitment: BuzzFeed has inspired Gosling fans to start a non-Occupy-related “We are the 99%” protest outside of People magazine’s Manhattan offices. (They even have masks!)

The protest started at 1 p.m. EST; we’ve been following live tweets about what’s being called #occupypeople:

It definitely resembles the Kim Kardashian vigil outside of the Manhattan DASH store, in which BuzzFeed also participated (though didn’t start).

I’m not sure whether I should feel doubly sorry for the police who had to patrol the small #occupypeople uprising–if the triviality of this made them laugh in comparison to Occupy Wall Street, or if they’re just sick and tired of kids occupying everything these days.

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Watch Singer Jihae’s New Music Video Starring A Sad Paz De La Huerta

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 11:03 AM PST

JIHAE – The Model from Jihae on Vimeo.

Jihae is a model-turned-singer whose video for “The Model” features our favorite petulant woman-child Paz de la Huerta as the titular character. The tune’s a cover of a Kraftwork song, which means it’s moody enough for Paz to walk around doing her signature pouty thing.

I’d never heard of Jihae before this, but her super deep voice is pretty cool. Plus, she’s got a pretty storied upbringing: she’s South Korean, grew up in Nigeria and Sweden, then moved to the UK. She’s a United Colors of Benneton ad, basically!

As for Paz, she’s claiming to be off the sauce and is hard at work Boardwalk Empire-ing it up. And it’s good to see she’s trying out the whole wearing-clothes thing. Not so hard, is it?

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Crushable Quotable: Recent Divorcee Olivia Wilde Defends Kim Kardashian’s Public Divorce

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 10:49 AM PST

Whereas the majority of us can’t help but believe that Kim Kardashian‘s divorce from Kris Humphries – coming only 72 days after their lavish, televised I-dos — is all part of a bigger moneymaking scheme, actress Olivia Wilde is taking it seriously. Even more, she’s on Kim’s side.

At an afterparty for the new film Another Happy Day, she told the New York Post’s Page Six,

I empathize. It's not easy. It's the hardest thing in the world. People judge you because divorce is seen as failure. [Kim] took a risk. No one should be attacking her. Our attention should be focused on things that are truly scandalous.

The relevant piece of information here is that Olivia herself just came off a divorce, though the details make it sound like it was the opposite of Kim’s situation. She met Tao Ruspoli when she was just 18, on a bus at Burning Man, and they were soon married. When she actually announced her divorce more than six months ago, the overwhelming reaction was, “She’s married?” She had always been so low-key about the relationship that it took her fans, casual and diehard, by surprise.

And even though Kim insists that her love for Kris was real and she just got in over her head, her excuse that it’s part of their family to televise every event — that they did it out of familiarity as opposed to the $17 million profit — is a weak one. So it’s good that she has someone as coolheaded as Olivia in her corner, but it doesn’t quite sway our opinions.

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Hot Shot: Michael Fassbender Is GQ’s Newcomer Of The Year

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 10:17 AM PST

Unlike People’s selection of Bradley Cooper as the Sexiest Man Alive, GQ’s decision to name Michael Fassbender its Newcomer of the Year is a move we can fully get behind.

Michael (who I totally fell for in Inglorious Basterds) has the sex addiction movie Shame in theaters now and he’s got a slate of flicks lined up through the next couple years. He’ll star as Carl Jung in A Dangerous Method, and following that will appear Prometheus, Ridley Scott‘s latest installment in the Alien Franchise.

Fun Michael fact: At a screening of Shame at the Toronto Film Fest, Michael’s handsomeness cause a woman to faint. I bet Bradley Cooper has never done that, eh, People Magazine?

(via GQ)

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Video: The Daily Show Mocks Occupy Wall Street On The Eve Of Its Destruction

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 09:34 AM PST

The abrupt eviction of Occupy Wall Street from Zucotti Park after just two months of activism has upset a whole lot of people these past couple of days. Although the protest was disorganized at times, it was also extremely exciting, and seemed to represent a step towards a progressive movement untrammeled by the ineffectual tactics of milquetoast Obama liberals. Hence, it makes perfect sense that it would draw the ire of a man who seems increasingly bent on becoming the milquiest of them all, Jon Stewart.

The field segment The Daily Show ran last night sought to skewer Occupy Wall Street by talking to a few of its douchiest members, which, okay, I realize that they do that to everyone. But to run that segment the day after a whole bunch of people got their asses beaten by the cops for advocating principles Jon Stewart agrees with just seems a little bit…counterproductive? Like beating a dead horse? Adding insult to injury, etc?

Although the segment itself was not as mean as it could have been, it seems like part of a larger pattern on The Daily Show wherein Jon Stewart tries to demonstrate that he’s a “reasonable” and “moderate” liberal by going after people he should be supporting, while at the same time being way too nice to those he should be grilling, like Donald fucking Rumsfeld. I know he’ll always defend himself against these kinds of accusations by saying he’s an entertainer first, but that entertainment is definitely informed by a political ideology, and lately, I think that ideology sucks.

(Via Gothamist)

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Now You Can Eat The Mushroom Ravioli That Bella Ate On Her First Date With Edward In Twilight

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 08:58 AM PST

This is some truly amazing product placement/movie tie-in karma happening here.

If you’ve read the first Twilight book and/or seen the movie, you might remember that along with Bella almost getting rammed by a truck and that silly scene where they play vampire baseball in a thunderstorm, there’s also her and Edward’s first date at an Italian restaurant. Diehard fans will recall that Bella eats a mushroom ravioli dish—and now the fans can enjoy that deliciousness in the comfort of their dorm rooms.

That’s right, Washington-based restaurant Bella Italia has started packaging its famous Bella’s Mushroom Ravioli™ as a frozen entree available at major grocery stores. Incredible!

Also, who knew that Stephenie Meyer did such exhaustive research? Having decided that Forks, Washington would be the setting, the Arizona-bound aspiring author called up one of their local restaurants, Bella Italia, to inquire about their menu items. (We have to wonder how much stock she put into the restaurant having the same name as her heroine…) It was kismet that their daily special was a mushroom ravioli; Stephenie wrote it into the book, and voila! Instant classic.

“Ever since then, we’ve had travelers from all over the world,” owner Neil Conklin says in the press release. “We’ve served more than 10,000 of these iconic pasta plates in the restaurant, and I wanted to make it available to everyone.” Of course, Summit shot the movie’s first-date scene at Bella Italia back in 2008, encouraging even more people to visit and sample the dish. And now the restaurant is offering it in handy “heat-and-eat” form. Here are the stats:

  • each package is 20 ounces, which is enough for two people
  • mushroom ravioli in a besciamella sauce with more mushrooms
  • it’s made from fresh, all-natural ingredients “inspired by” the cuisine in Washington
  • costs $10.99

If they’re not selling at your grocery store, you can also order packages online.

And consider, even if you’re not a Twihard, that some of the proceeds go to the Quileute Tribal School and Forks High School—other real places that Stephenie worked into her books.

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Video: Conan Reenacts The Justin Bieber Paternity Scandal With Peanuts

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 09:01 AM PST

Yes, peanuts. As in: groundnuts, legumes, goobers, geek-poison, G.W. Carver gold, the crunchy stuff in that Pad Thai you’re eating again, you unadventurous chump. A video segment on last night’s episode of Conan used a couple of peanuts-in-the-shell to recreate the Justin Bieber/Mariah Yeater paternity scandal… with a little creative interpreting, of course.

Basically: we see peanut Bieber and peanut Mariah fucking in the bathroom. For Conan’s sake, I certainly hope he cast a nut of legal age to play Justin, because the last thing we need is another Bieber-related scandal. Nut activists unite!

If you haven’t been following this scintillating saga, Mariah has dropped the charges against Justin because, well, because he isn’t the father of her kid. Bieber and his team still might sue Mariah for defamation, though — and we hope to see that lawsuit reenacted by grapes.

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Video: The Olsen Twins Are The Latest Celebrities To Discover Planking, Etc.

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 08:18 AM PST

Our friends over at Luckymag.com have been following the Olsen twins’ video promotions for their new line StyleMint, so when we saw this video on their site we had to take a look for ourselves. In a weird quasi-Christmas card to their fans and customers, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have taken the various Internet trends of planking, storking, and owling, and “made them their own” for the holiday season.

Where I will give them credit is for working each of these poses into a classic holiday movie: You’ve got National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and more. (What, no Love Actually?) But make sure you stick through to the very end and see the daring new pose that they come up with! (Spoiler: it’s not.)

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Ricky Gervais Will Host The Golden Globes Again Just To Spite You People

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 08:12 AM PST

Ever since his over-the-top performance got him “banned” from hosting the Golden Globes last year, Ricky Gervais has been plotting his underminey return. Would he pull focus by doing a parallel podcast, as previously threatened? Would he crash the awards show dressed like Jesus, shooting out rapid fire insults like some sort of offensiveness machine?

As it turns out, he’s just going to insult people the good, old fashioned way again: from his officially sanctioned position as host. While he was initially unsure as to whether or not it was a good idea, it seems one particular thing made him say yes: the chance to punish everyone who got offended last year.

Via Ricky’s blog:

It was a tough decision to be honest. There were many pros and cons. I loved doing it, but I was worried that I couldn’t improve on last year. I’m in LA anyway as I’m launching Life’s Too Short on HBO. But then I didn’t want the Globes to overshadow the series. I knew some people would be uncomfortable with me being host. (This was a pro by the way.)

What actually tipped the balance and made me say yes, was the fact that it would shut up all those fucking idiots who said that I’d never be invited back. Is that the wrong reason to do something? Ha ha. I think it is.

Now here’s the thing. The outrage I caused was of course, as usual, totally out of proportion to the things I said. I don’t think anyone had any right to be offended but they were. This year I’m going to make sure their offence is completely justified. The best thing about it is writing the gags. I love writing one liners. Particularly when they can’t be used in any other context. It gives them a special weight on the night if you know what I mean.

It looks like the Golden Globes have realized what the Internet has known for a long, long time: making fun of stuff in an amusing way will get you way more eyeballs than lukewarmly praising it. As well it should. Get ready for some seriously butt-hurt celebrities.

(Via Vulture)

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