Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 6.4.13

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 01:30 PM PDT

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you by Reality™ – Hi! I no longer exist. And to drive that point home even further, here’s Victoria Silvstedt updating her Craigslist ad, Miley Cyrus up there, who continues to be fabulously wealthy, and Ashton Kutcher continuing to be bored with banging Mila Kunis and Read More ...

Hayden Panettiere Will Bring Country Music To Ze Germans

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 01:00 PM PDT

Here’s Hayden Panettiere in Munich yesterday to promote the German premiere of Nashville, her ABC drama about midgets trying to break into country music and the giant penises that threaten to puncture their liver. Which is great because if there’s one thing Germans could use, it’s music promoting a blind, jingoistic love of one’s country. Read More ...

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Pregnant

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 12:03 PM PDT

Welp, she finally trapped a man. There’s no running away now, mister! MUAHAHAH- Oh, right planes exist. Us Weekly reports: “We’re so thrilled and happy to start a family,” the Client List costars tell Us in a statement. A source says Hewitt is about three months along. The couple began dating 15 months ago after Read More ...

This Is What Happens When Miranda Kerr Goes On ‘Fox & Friends’

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 11:00 AM PDT

Sorry to post about Republicans twice in a row, but here’s Miranda Kerr on Fox & Friends this morning where she probably said words about something, but more importantly decided to show off how flexible she was until Bill O’Reilly burst into the room and pelted her with loofahs. The man has a distinct mating Read More ...

Steven Seagal Is A Russian Arms Dealer Now

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 10:25 AM PDT

A little background: Last week, Republican congressman Dana Rohrabacher was really hoping to find some clues to the Boston Marathon Bombing that would ideally show the Tsarnaev brothers were Obama‘s illegitimate sons (You know black guys…) or at the very least, smuggled into the country with his Kenyan Muslim magic. So Rohrabacher enlisted the aid Read More ...

Hey, Alec Baldwin, This Dude’s Banging Your Daughter In The Ocean

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 09:15 AM PDT

Slater Trout is really Spencer Pratt? KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!! Alec Baldwin didn’t seem to give a shit when I posted a semen-themed Instagram pic of his daughter Ireland and her boyfriend Pickerel Bass, so here’s the two of them pretty much banging in the ocean. And unless Alec Baldwin is surprisingly cool with older dudes plowing his Read More ...

Justin Bieber Got Burned By Topanga

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 08:46 AM PDT

“Goddammit, Jennifer Love Hewitt. For the last time, he won’t marry you.” Here’s Justin Bieber at last night’s Game 7 in Miami where not only did get he booed after his face was shown on the Jumbotron, but he also got burned by Topanga for his stupid, front-running hat. And if you have no idea Read More ...

Michael Douglas Would Like To Take Back That Cunnilingus Stuff Now

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 07:36 AM PDT

Yesterday, Michael Douglas set the Internet a flutter by telling The Guardian he got throat cancer from cunnilingus. A statement that was shockingly medically possible – *chugs third bottle of Listerine* – but also insinuated that the bipolar woman who lets him have sex with her has an infected vagina. An insinuation made even stronger Read More ...

Heather Graham’s In A Bikini Again And Other News

Posted: 04 Jun 2013 06:19 AM PDT

- Michael Fassbender knows how to treat a lady he doesn’t want another lady to know he’s banging behind her lady-back. - What the hell is Adrienne Maloof wearing? - Against my pansy liberal judgement, hot chicks with guns. - Kanye West actually bought a very sweet baby shower gift for Read More ...
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