The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

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• The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.13.12
• And Now Here’s Ashley Greene In A Bikini
• Jean-Claude Van Damme Had An Affair With Kylie Minogue While Filming ‘Street Fighter’
• Lindsay Lohan’s In A Bikini, Too
• Ochocinco Headbutted Evelyn Lozada (Allegedly), Kicked Off The Dolphins (Not Allegedly)
• Good Morning, Lea Michele’s Legs, And Other News
• Jennifer Aniston & Justin Therouz Got Engaged. For Real This Time.
• Miley Cyrus Looks Like A Dang Ol’ Lesbian

The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.13.12 Posted: 13 Aug 2012 02:00 PM PDT Welcome to another overstuffed Monday edition of The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of seemingly innocent celebrity candid photos and whip them into a batter of fat jokes and dick puns. Like if you walked into a bakery and ordered a cake, but instead the staff just called you fat and Read More ...

And Now Here’s Ashley Greene In A Bikini Posted: 13 Aug 2012 12:14 PM PDT Just in case these pics of Ashley Greene in a bikini aren’t awesome enough, this was almost a post about her being photographed in a Chick-fil-A drive-thru presumably to suck up to Stephenie Meyer who’s probably already shitting out another series of movie-ready books about undead, sparkling Mormons. I bet Ashley Greene even got extra Read More ...

Jean-Claude Van Damme Had An Affair With Kylie Minogue While Filming ‘Street Fighter’ Posted: 13 Aug 2012 11:10 AM PDT Let me start off by saying I was completely oblivious to the fact that Kylie Minogue was Cammy in the Street Fighter movie which was almost the awesomest random thing I’ve heard all day. I say almost because I learned that bit of trivia from Jean-Claude Van Damme revealing he banged her during filming (while Read More ...

Lindsay Lohan’s In A Bikini, Too Posted: 13 Aug 2012 10:04 AM PDT Lindsay Lohan has been doing a respectable job of showing up in swimwear whenever somebody more famous than her does, so here she is in Malibu yesterday in case you’re really in the mood for freckles. Which is literally the only thing I could think of to say that wasn’t, “BOOBIES ARE BIG!” even though Read More ...

Ochocinco Headbutted Evelyn Lozada (Allegedly), Kicked Off The Dolphins (Not Allegedly) Posted: 13 Aug 2012 09:00 AM PDT Based solely on this picture above, Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada seem like the kind of couple who would go the distance. Unfortunately the distance turned out to be him getting arrested Saturday night for allegedly headbutting her because he’s an idiot who doesn’t get rid of condom receipts. Seriously, what was he going Read More ...

Good Morning, Lea Michele’s Legs, And Other News Posted: 13 Aug 2012 08:30 AM PDT - The time Lindsay Lohan tried to get Clint Eastwood‘s daughter kicked out of a club. - What was the world like before camera phones? - Anderson Cooper‘s boyfriend pulled a Kristen Stewart. - A cat getting a High Score on “Fruit Ninja.” You hate that you can’t resist clicking on Read More ...

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Therouz Got Engaged. For Real This Time. Posted: 13 Aug 2012 07:30 AM PDT Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were rumored to get married this weekend – They didn’t. – so Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux probably feel pretty embarrassed that they got engaged at what they thought was the same time and now they have to get married. Suckers. People reports: “Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Read More ...

Miley Cyrus Looks Like A Dang Ol’ Lesbian Posted: 13 Aug 2012 06:45 AM PDT Here’s Miley Cyrus‘ new haircut which she decided to show off on Twitter because it’s not like she’s acting, singing or doing anything but living (literally) high off the Hannah Montana hog. Anyway, apparently she’s been waiting her whole life to look like a lesbian and her daddy finally got the little Dutch boy he’s Read More ...

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