Cele|bitchy

Katy Perry’s mom says she’s lying about her upbringing
Jennifer Lawrence goes from blonde to brunette (for Katniss): cute or fug?
Pregnant Alyssa Milano in a graphic dot dress at Hangover 2 premiere: cute
Elisabetta Canalis in bronze Cavalli: surprisingly nice, or still tacky?
Courtney Love in cracked-out Givenchy: hot mess or pulled together?
Sean Penn’s goth-drag-Nazi movie gets a bizarre trailer
Fergie admits she’s an addict: addicted to being generous & selfless!
Karl Lagerfeld helps Vanessa Paradis shun Angelina Jolie
Kat Von D & Jesse James already canceled a wedding date, brokeup for months
Katie Holmes in ill-fitting clothes, chunky booties: tragic or typical?

Katy Perry’s mom says she’s lying about her upbringing

Posted: 20 May 2011 09:05 AM PDT

This week’s issue of Star includes some very anti-scandalous statements, which allege that Katy Perry’s childhood isn’t exactly how she presented it in her recent Vanity Fair cover story. Of course, Katy’s version of her own upbringing was that it was a very stifling one in which she had to overcome many obstacles to grow into the form of a very “accepting” adult (who has somehow made an entire career out of a faux-lesbian scandal song). While Star somewhat rehashes the claim that Katy’s mother, Mary Perry Hudson, was scandalized by her daughter’s boobs and also talks some more about Mary’s upcoming book, it also makes the point that Katy is pretty much full of crap when it comes to her childhood story:

Despite insisting on respect from her parents, an enraged Katy sat down with Vanity Fair and gave her most candid interview yet — and some of her comments about her parents were not kind.

Katy moaned about her religious upbringing, saying her parents allowed her to read only the Bible and even banned terms like deviled eggs. “I didn’t have a childhood,” Katy said, insisting she’s nothing like her parents. “I come from a very nonaccepting family, but I’m very accepting.” Katy also described how she was told that the women’s health organization Planned Parenthood was nothing more than an abortion clinic.

But it’s all lies, according to her parents. “Katy had a normal upbringing, and we’re proud of her,” Mary told worshippers at a California church. According to Mary, their relationship with katy is no different than that of Miley and Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus, “whose children have risen to fame and live contrary to their parents’ beliefs.”

[From Star, May 30, 2011]

While I think that Katy’s parents are definitely a little bit crazy, it’s also pretty clear that Katy’s opinion of them conveniently changes in different interviews. Sometimes, she talks about their great relationship, and other times, she needlessly whines about not being able to say “devilled eggs” for whatever reason. Overall, everything that comes out of Katy’s mouth is all part of her carefully choregraphed image, which seems to promote the good-girl-gone-bad in a highly unoriginal way. Of course, we’ve already seen (as Kaiser has already astutely pointed out in regard to Dita von Teese) that even Katy’s boobs copy entire looks in an attempt to hypnotize the masses.

In other Perry-related news, The Smoking Gun has uncovered Mrs. Russell Brand’s tour rider, and DListed provides an excellent summary of Katy’s 23-Point Order for drivers (which ends, oddly enough, with a capitalized “Thank you!”) and her demand for cream-colored egg chairs, a glass refrigerator, a Presidential suite, and absolutely no carnations whatsoever. That last bit is a bit strange because, to me, Katy seems quite like the carnation among today’s pop stars; that is, she’s an unimportant, short-lived filler flower that shall soon wilt and be duly discarded amongst the coffee grounds and empty toilet paper rolls of our pop culture lives.

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

Jennifer Lawrence goes from blonde to brunette (for Katniss): cute or fug?

Posted: 20 May 2011 08:50 AM PDT

As I've said time and again, I kind of like Jennifer Lawrence. I think she's beautiful, I think she's talented, and I have high hopes that she's not going to turn out to be some kind of smug, lip-biting, eye-rolling troll. Most of her interviews are pretty good, and she comes across pretty well-adjusted. Jennifer recently got the lead role in The Hunger Games, which many people think will be Jennifer's chance to shine in a major role in a major studio film. By the way, for all of those people who were saying that Jennifer lost all of that weight because she was preparing for the Katniss role - bullsh-t. Her startling body makeover began MONTHS before she was in the running for Katniss.

Anyway, Jennifer recently dyed her blonde hair to this dark brunette for The Hunger Games. She even made the cover of this week's Entertainment Weekly, in a preview for the film.

Fans of The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins' terrifically urgent dystopian trilogy about children forced to fight to the death — have always been protective of 16-year-old heroine Katniss Everdeen. So when Lionsgate and director Gary Ross announced that they had cast 20-year-old Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone) in the lead role, the community was thrown into an inevitable tailspin. Was she too old, too blonde, too pale, too pretty to do the gritty warrior girl justice?

In this week's cover story, EW was granted an exclusive interview with a newly brunette Lawrence, and spent hours watching her train on a Los Angeles archery range and track, just days before she was due on the North Carolina set.

In a free-wheeling interview, Lawrence describes her first encounter with Ross last winter, during the height of Oscar season. "He was asking me what the experience was like," she recalls, "and I just kind of opened up and said, 'I feel like a rag doll. I have hair and makeup people coming to my house every day and putting me in new, uncomfortable, weird dresses and expensive shoes, and I just shut down and raise my arms up for them to get the dress on, and pout my lips when they need to put the lipstick on.' And we both started laughing because that's exactly what it's like for Katniss in the Capitol. She was a girl who's all of a sudden being introduced to fame. I know what that feels like to have all this flurry around you and feel like, 'Oh, no, I don't belong here.'"

When Lawrence was offered the role, she describes her response as a mixture of elation — and desperate anxiety. "I knew that as soon as I said yes, my life would change," she says. "And I walked around an entire day thinking 'It's not too late, I could still go back and do indies, I haven't said yes yet, it's not too late.'"

And yet, who can turn their back on Katniss? "I love this story," she says, "and if I had said no, I would regret it every day." After officially signing on, Suzanne Collins herself called to offer a starstruck Lawrence her most hearty congratulations. "I feel like when you said yes," the author told her, "the world got lifted off my shoulders."

[From Entertainment Weekly]

Okay? Fans of the books, is she your Katniss? Will she do the character justice? I haven't read the stuff, so I don't know.

Regarding the brunette hair… it looks pretty good on her. I think she's so used to being a blonde, it's a whole new thing for her to do her makeup and style herself as a brunette, though. I'll give her time to adjust. We’ll know the brown works when Gerard Butler tries to bone her. She is now exactly he’s type: leggy, brunette and young. If she tries anything with Gerry, I will cry.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame & EW.

Pregnant Alyssa Milano in a graphic dot dress at Hangover 2 premiere: cute

Posted: 20 May 2011 08:17 AM PDT

I’m not going to do a cute or fug title for a pregnant lady. I might have done it with that pregnant Charlotte Gainsbourg woman who wore a sheer ruffled tie-front robe over a lacy bra to the premiere of that Nazi guy’s movie at Cannes with Kirsten Dunst. Alyssa looks cute at the Hangover 2 premiere in a graphic dot black and white dress. I would have chosen all black or white shoes, but that’s nitpicking and she’s probably going for comfort. From what I can tell she’s due around August.

Alyssa is not in The Hangover 2, but plenty of other people who weren’t in the movie showed up too, like Kristen Bell. I really like her but she needs to ease up on the fillers a little bit. Her face is looking a little too perfect here, but it’s not bad. I love the cut of her dress although the sherbet colors kind of wash her out.

Also there was Kristen’s fiance, Dax Shephard. He’s not in the film either, I just like him too. Plus this picture is kind of priceless.

We have the traditionally handsome Justin Bartha, whose role looks just about as limited as before.

Zach Galifianakis might be decent looking under that beard. I’m really wondering about that.

Ed Helms’ tie is for Easter Sunday at the cheap country club.

Jason Bateman wasn’t in this film, but I just want to say that his wife is a lucky bitch. He does not look 42 to me.

Robert Downey Jr.’s wife is also a lucky bitch, and she knows it and totally earned that.

Rain Wilson is the substitute teacher you give the side eye.

Ken Jeong from Community is in this. He hasn’t been on the show much lately, probably because he’s been off doing Hangover stuff.

This kid Trevor Donovan has never come to my attention before, and he’s very beautiful in that “ivy league, works at his dad’s firm, marries a beautiful woman, has 4 kids, cheats to try and recapture his youth” kind of way. He’s 32 and stars on 90210. I would have sworn he wasn’t over 24. He’s just a filler and isn’t in Hangover either.

Let’s round this off with the star, Bradley Cooper, in a brown shiny suit. He’s really trying to work the tousled hair here. I’m kind of “meh” on Bradley. I could give or take him, and I’m not buying him as the next big star. Hollywood seems to be, though.

Oh and I can’t forget Crystal the monkey.

photo credit: Fame Pictures

Elisabetta Canalis in bronze Cavalli: surprisingly nice, or still tacky?

Posted: 20 May 2011 08:13 AM PDT

This is Part II of the Amfar fashion - go here for part one. For this post's headliner, I've chosen Miss Cannes herself, Elisabetta Canalis. It seems like Cannes is perfect for her - she gets to show up, hang out on a yacht, sunbathe, "pose" for photos, wear pretty clothes, drink, pose some more, get pap'd, rinse and repeat. She's one of the many, many "professional girls" at the festival, spending her time "working." God knows where Clooney is. God knows what all of this is really about, but there's probably some conspiracy afoot. She's wearing Cavalli, by the way.

Here's Naomi Campbell in Givenchy, just like Courtney Love. This isn't Naomi's traditional kind of look. I don't hate it on her. My first reaction was "Bizarre… odd fit." But as I look at it more, I really like it.

Michelle Rodriguez in a Jean Fares Couture gown. From the front she was covered up, but the back is very open and exposed. I like that Michelle is "trying". I just don't think she's succeeding. I'm saying this as someone who likes her a great deal - she's not a fashion girl. Her attempts at being all girly and frilly just fall flat. She's not that girl.

Mischa Barton in black strapless, designer unknown. I don't hate the dress, and it actually looks half-decent on her. But in closeups, you could tell that she was screwed up. She looked wasted. And would it have killed her to take care of her roots and actually do her hair for the event? She's irrelevant as an actress, so she should really make the effort when she's trying to be a fashion girl.

Freida Pinto in Lanvin, once again, one of the few to go short. She made her boyfriend Dev Patel come out too, and he doesn't really look happy about it. He should have done a black suit or a tux, honestly. But Freida looks cute. I like this dress on her, even with all of that weirdness at the neckline.

Bar Raefali in Cavalli. Throughout all of Bar's appearances at Cannes, it really seems like she's shopping for a new boyfriend. This dress should make it easier. And some professional actually did her makeup this time so she doesn't look so busted (in the face).

Gwen Stefani in her own L.A.M.B. design. Too much makeup, hair too overdone. She was one of the first ladies to walk the press line too - she really wanted to be photographed by everybody.

And finally, Brooke Shields in Marchesa. Unflattering and fug once again, Georgina Chapman.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Courtney Love in cracked-out Givenchy: hot mess or pulled together?

Posted: 20 May 2011 07:39 AM PDT

Last night was the big AmFar gala at the Cannes Film Festival, so we've got lots of good photos and hit-or-miss fashion for you today. I'm splitting up the fashion into two posts, so we can talk about everybody that we need to. First up: The AmFar Crasher. I don't know if Courtney Love actually crashed the gala mind you, but judging from the photos, it seems like she might have. Her face actually didn't look bad, but the rest of her is a mess. I wish Court would decide who she is, what image she wants to give people. Does she want to be the grizzled rock star? The aging diva? The Beautiful Star? I think she wants to seem like all of that, and then some, which is why we get this mess. Courtney trying to sweet-talk Karl Lagerfeld, who isn't having it. Courtney tripping over herself, her boobs hanging out. It's all kind of gross. The dress is Givenchy, by the way. Never would have guessed that.

Next: Doutzen Kroes and her lover/baby-daddy. Kroes was one of the few girls to go short, and she was one of the few to do a bold color. I don't think the dress itself is all that stunning, but Doutzen doesn't need much to be magnificent.

Janet Jackson was one of my best-dressed ladies of the evening. I love this two-piece Haider Ackermann, and I think this looks absolutely gorgeous on Janet. She's covered up, but the hint of cleavage is super-sexy, and her hair and makeup are gorge. Take notes, Courtney Love.

Donatella Versace! In Versace, I'm assuming. Orange skin, white-blonde hair, yellow dress. Sure. She's like really gross yogurt.

Uma Thurman in Chanel… magnificent. Her last attempt at Chanel was really unflattering and fug, but this is so gorgeous.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sean Penn’s goth-drag-Nazi movie gets a bizarre trailer

Posted: 20 May 2011 07:31 AM PDT

The notorious toupee of Sean Penn is on epic display at Cannes, particularly at the photocall for Penn’s goth-drag-Nazi hunting film, This Must Be The Place, which is Italian director Paolo Sorrentino’s English debut and has also received a new trailer. If you’ll recall, Penn was on location last August in Dublin, Ireland while looking like a tragic hot mess in a Robert Smith-esque wig, earrings, and gothy red lipstick. The movie’s odd premise involves Penn’s character, “Cheyenne,” (who is a wealthy, aging rocker living in a mansion) leaving his American, firefighting wife (Francis McDormand) behind to travel (by boat) on a quest to New York to reunite with his dying father. The story, naturally, turns into a hunt to find Nazi war criminals and persecutors; throughout his journey Cheyenne is reawakened and engages in much (clichéd) self discovery. For some inexplicable reason, there’s also a dog wearing an Elizabethan collar at the bottom of an empty swimming pool.

This Must Be the Place is a title that never fails to remind me of the Talking Heads song for which the film was named, and an early review from the Guardian indicates that a cameo by David Byrne is the highlight of a film that otherwise turns into a “diverting if derivative American odyssey.” As for Penn’s performance, the trailer indicates that his character might still be taking some of those bitchin’ drugs from the 1980s or, at the very least, has suffered long-lasting after effects.

Now to fully appreciate Penn’s weave, it must be witnessed at every available angle:

At this point, Penn would look far less ridiculous if he ditched the toupee and stuck with the goth wig:

Photos courtesy of WENN

Fergie admits she’s an addict: addicted to being generous & selfless!

Posted: 20 May 2011 06:54 AM PDT

Sarah Ferguson has given yet another lie-filled, delusional, insane interview. This, coming on the heels of her wildly offensive Oprah interview in which she compared herself to Princess Diana and said that she was "glad" both she and Diana "missed the wedding" of Prince William and Kate Middleton. It was all very tacky and gross. Anyway, Fergie has a new series on Oprah's network called Finding Sarah, in which Fergie goes around to Oprah's new-agey, barky friends and gets advise. The full piece is here, but I've got the excerpts below. You can really get the flavor of how insane and sad she is, and how she desperately wants to be painted as a victim:

Fergie on not being invited to the wedding: “Ah, well,” she says with a wistful smile and a shrug. “My girls”–the princesses Beatrice, 22, and Eugenie, 21–”are going. They’re a part of the royal family, and they’re a tremendous credit to me. People move on, you know?” she adds by way of expressing her feelings about not being one of the 1,900 guests. In fact, she has never met Kate Middleton. “I understand that they didn’t invite me. I’m divorced from Prince Andrew. I think it’s a new chapter and a fresh page. It's very good news and Diana would be very proud."

On being photographed for Bazaar: “I got rather shy and modest and feeling a bit round like a teapot,” she says. Her struggles with her weight have been mercilessly documented, and she herself has written five books with Weight Watchers, for which she has been a spokesperson. “I felt very insecure, actually,” she goes on. “I said, ‘Oh, nothing’s gonna fit.’ I got Beatrice on the line, and I said, ‘Beatrice, look, Mum’s having a freak-out.’ And so she spoke to the stylist and said, ‘Look, it’s okay, this is how you deal with Mum.’” Beatrice suggested finding a structured look that accentuated her mother’s trim waist. “And she calmed everything down.”

On being a mother: “The only thing I know I’ve done 100 percent right is be a good mother. I’m proud to say I’m the best mom I know. People say to me, ‘What is your brand identity?’ And I say, ‘I’m a global mother.’”

On her scandal where she was caught on tape, selling access to the royal family: “It shocked me to the roots of my whole being,” she says now of the scandal. Buckingham Palace issued a statement denying that Andrew had any prior knowledge of his ex-wife’s activities, which Ferguson staunchly confirms. “He felt very, very sorry for me,” she says. “He was so angry that I should have been trapped, ’cause he knows me. He knows I would never, ever put him in a position that would compromise him, ever!”

Fergie's lies continue: In an interview with Oprah Winfrey in the wake of the scandal, the duchess explained her behavior by saying she had been drinking and was desperate for money to help a friend and was herself facing “substantial” debts compounded by the collapse of her lifestyle company, Hartmoor. (Her income from her divorce settlement is reportedly only £15,000, around $24,750, a year.) Now she claims it was all a big misunderstanding. “I didn’t do that, selling access,” she says, furrowing her brow. The masquerading Indian mogul, she explains, “said he wanted to start a business with me, and I said, ‘If you’re going to invest in my business, with that comes my family, because we’re all a team together.’ But the way it came across in the video, it was so horrible, because they cut it and edited it and changed it, chopped it.”

More lies: As if knowing this all sounds a bit like rewriting history, she adds, “It was a huge lapse in judgment. People misconstrue who you are,” Ferguson says plaintively. “They think you’re this, but in fact you’re that. Yes, okay, you’ve made many mistakes, but it still doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. You’ve just taken a few wrong turns.”

Fergie on the Queen: “[She] is the most wonderful, forgiving, nonjudgmental person I know.”

On her ex, The Duke of York: “He’s a great man,” Ferguson stresses, “and a first-rate father and the bestest friend.” With help from Andrew, she says, she is once again debt free. “I love him. He’s my soulmate. It’s actually what we said in front of God at the altar: We honor and respect each other until death do us part. The only thing is, he has girlfriends and I have boyfriends.” (She doesn’t have a boyfriend now, but she says, “I would love a boyfriend.”)

Regrets: “I would have fought for Andrew and I to be together after we got married and he went to sea [with the Royal Navy] and I saw him 40 days a year for the first five years of our marriage. I would have never let anyone come between us. Actually, one of the people [at Buckingham Palace], who shall remain nameless, said, ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, you’re just a naval wife. Put up with it. Everyone else has to.’ I would say, ‘No, I’m going to be with him.’ I really was in love. We both were madly in love. I remember walking up the aisle,” she says of their July 1986 wedding, “and how he turned round and looked at me in his naval uniform.”

On her OWN show, Finding Sarah: Ferguson describes it as “a woman’s search for really, truly knowing herself and how you find self-worth.” Over six episodes, Ferguson asks self-improvement gurus like Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and life coach Martha Beck to help her “get sorted.” “Dr. Phil told me, ‘You’re an addict, Sarah,’” she says. “I looked at him, thinking, Rats, what kind of addiction do I have? And he said to approval and acceptance, and I went, Yay! It’s fantastic, because you’ve now labeled my problem and I can deal with it. And Suze Orman,” she adds, “she said you don’t have a money problem; what you have is an addiction to giving out so much. I felt I had to buy a lot of presents because I never thought I was worthy. I think my financial problems have come from desperately trying to please, from my addiction to approval and to thinking that I’m not worthy, so I have to buy people’s love. What I didn’t have until Oprah came into my life,” she adds, “and [the reason] I am so grateful to her, was the toolbox to know how to handle the twists in the road.”

She won't sell out the royal family anymore: “It won’t happen again,” she says, “because I’m awake now. I’m aware of my behavior…. I was raised by the housekeeper… I’m very lucky, though. I have a very lucky life. I’m able to travel. I have great friends who have been very generous. I’ve got a wonderful family. Andrew and the girls are really the most extraordinary people you’ll ever meet. So the fairy tale does go on,” she says with a faint smile. “It’s just that my fairy tale has a slightly different ending.”

[From Harper's Bazaar]

So, basically, Finding Sarah is about people sitting around and telling Fergie that her biggest problem in life is that she simply GIVES TOO MUCH. That she LOVES TOO MUCH. That she's simply too generous. You know what this reminds me of? Heather Mills!! Aren't Fergie and Heather strikingly similar? They want to be seen as these incredible humanitarians whose biggest faults are simply their enormous hearts, when in reality, both share the same delusions of grandeur, the same hyper-narcissism, the same cracked-out hustle to get MORE, more money, more attention, more sympathy, more, more, more.

Here are some additional photos from Fergie's Bazaar shoot, plus some photos of her at last night's Amfar gala in Cannes.

Photos courtesy of Harper's Bazaar and Fame.

Karl Lagerfeld helps Vanessa Paradis shun Angelina Jolie

Posted: 20 May 2011 06:51 AM PDT

At first I thought this little report in Star Magazine was just some tabloid editor staring at a calendar, realizing that Vanessa Paradis and Angelina Jolie missed each other at the Cannes Film Festival by a matter of days, and building a small story around it. But as it turns out, Star Magazine wasn't the only outlet to get this small scoop. More on that in a second. First, the backstory. According to the tabloids, Johnny Depp's lover Vanessa Paradis hates Angelina Jolie's guts. I doubt they actually hate each other or are jealous of one another or anything like that in reality, but if you told me that they perhaps rub each other the wrong way, I would buy that. Despite what they might have in common, I doubt Vanessa and Angelina would really have all that much to say to each other. But I digress. So, Vanessa and Angie, hatred, etc. Vanessa was scheduled to an event for Karl Lagerfeld, seeing as how she's one of the "faces" of Chanel. According to Star Magazine, Lagerfeld scheduled the event so as to limit the possibility that Angelina Jolie would show up. Karl Lagerfeld HATES La Jolie!!!

Vanessa Paradis escaped her own mini drama in Cannes. There is no love lost between Vanessa and her partner Johnny Depp's Tourist costar, Angelina Jolie. So with Vanessa set to be honored by Chanel at local hotspot Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc, designer Karl Lagerfeld purposely held the event on May 9 - two days before a spotlight-grabbing Angie arrived to plug Kung Fu Panda 2!

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Now, as I said, it turns out this isn't just some random report. The Mail had a similar story several days ago too!

It’s only just begun but already there's been some cleverly orchestrated scheduling to avoid any red carpet awkwardness at this year's festival.

Designer Karl Lagerfeld deliberately organised a party to honour his muse Vanessa Paradis – before limelight-lover Angelina Jolie arrived in town.

She rubbed Vanessa up the wrong way when she was filming The Tourist alongside the French chanteuse's partner Johnny Depp.

Vanessa, 38, was guest of honour at the Chanel Collection Croisiere party at the Hôtel du Cap on the Cap d'Antibes on Monday, two days before Angelina, 35, arrived for her first public appearance at Cannes.

'Organisers were trying to avoid awkward situations between them,' said a Cannes mole. 'Suffice to say, Angelina was not on the invitation list.'

[From The Mail]

Considering Angelina never wears Chanel, doesn't represent Chanel and isn't desperately trying to get in Karl Lagerfeld's good graces, why in the world would she even be invited to a Chanel event, even if Vanessa and Karl didn't HATE her so very much? But this brings up a question I don't even want to ask myself: In a battle royale, Lagerfeld versus The Jolie, who would I choose? And who would win that battle? I think I would choose Jolie, but I think Karl would win. He's like the crypt keeper. He'll outlive us all. And if anyone can take down Angelina, it's Karl. He is a worthy opponent!

By the way, even though I'll buy that Karl hates Angelina, I bet he'd love to dress Empress Zahara. Imagine her all decked out in Chanel! So cute.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Kat Von D & Jesse James already canceled a wedding date, brokeup for months

Posted: 20 May 2011 06:42 AM PDT

There are all sorts of stories about Jesse James and his epic lying and cheating in the tabloids this week. Kaiser and I were debating whether we should give the douche any more attention after some of the ridiculous and transparent things he’s said while promoting his ego fest of a memoir. I think it’s still worthwhile to point and laugh, but if you disagree just let me know.

First off is this story about Kat Von D, Jesse’s fiance who he claims understands him so much better than Sandy ever did despite the fact that she was married to him for five years and cared for the children he had from two other women. Star got some very catty and funny quotes from Kat’s former office manager, who says that Jesse and Kat split up this fall for a few months as has been rumored, and that they canceled a wedding date they’d scheduled a while back. This is consistent with a report drom Radar this February that Kat and Jesse were going to get married within a month.

Liz Friedman, a former shop manager on Kat’s TLC show, told Star that the two canceled a secret wedding date. “They were supposed to be married months ago,” Liz dished. And she believes Jess is not the right man for Kat. “If I had to bet, there’s no longevity there,” she told Star. She also revealed that Jesse and Kat quietly parted ways in the fall and remained apart for a few months. “[Mutual friends] told me that she was fed up and done with him but then they got back together,” Liz continued… So what keeps them together? Liz offers a brutally candid assessment. “I think she’s very lonely and doesn’t have a lot of friends. And I think with Jesse he’s kind of rebounding from Sandra.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, May 30, 2011]

This one will implode and Jesse will look like an idiot, after which he’ll go to any outlet that will talk to him and will trash Kat. It’s predictable and will probably happen before the year is out.

Meanwhile both Radar and The Enquirer have quotes from Jesse’s porn star ex, Janine Lindemulder, who is writing a tell all about her time with him. She’s a shady character and has spent time for tax evasion in federal prison, during which Jesse took the opportunity to take custody of their young daughter. He’s been working to keep Janine away from her daughter ever since, although it’s hard to tell if she’s the wronged party as there is evidence that she has a drug problem.

The Enquirer has Janine saying that Jesse cheated on her while she was pregnant no less, with Sandra. His side of the story is that they were separated, and that’s probably the line he fed Sandra too. A “source” claims that Janine and Jesse were having problems but that they were still married, together and trying to work it out. The article claims that Jesse and Sandra were dating for at least a month before Jesse split up with Janine.

To Radar, Janine said that Jesse called her up in a panic about two weeks after he married Sandra claiming he’d made a mistake. She also alleged that he tried to send her sexy text messages, as was his M.O. She’s said similar things in the past about how James kept hitting on her after he was married to Sandra, so I don’t doubt her. We’ve seen what a scumbug he is, it’s just a shame that it took so long for Sandra to find out about it.

Header photo from 3/29/11. Photo of James alone from 5/5/11. Credit: Fame. He’s also shown with Kat on 1/16/11. Credit: WENN

Katie Holmes in ill-fitting clothes, chunky booties: tragic or typical?

Posted: 20 May 2011 06:21 AM PDT

These are some new photos of Katie Holmes at an event called "Beauty Culture" - I think it was a photography exhibit. The guests included Halle Berry, Dita Von Teese, and tons of Scientology people, so take that however you want. I'm just going to be covering Katie Holmes's appearance. Now… I've been yelled at before when I've criticized Katie for not dressing for her body. Most normal women understand their body faults and figure out ways to minimize their perceived faults and accentuate their positives. Katie never learned. She consistently wears styles that emphasize the wrong features. Plus, she's just one of those chicks who makes expensive clothes look cheap. I can't even begin to describe how this above-the-knee skirt and chunky booties were not the right choice for Katie's legs. It should be a crime to do this to yourself. When are women going to realize this? If you have anything other than super-slim, toned legs, these booties will make your legs look TERRIBLE.

I do think Katie's hair looks pretty. Over the weekend, I dyed my hair for the first time (ever), and it ended up a similar color to Katie's. She also looks like she got some sun (probably from sitting by the pool all day with her daughter), which works on her. Should I talk about the clothes? They're awful and ill-fitting. She has no taste.

By the way, as I looking through photos of Katie, I found this one of she and Tom at the taping of Oprah's farewell show extravaganza. This is the face of contract renegotiations.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Friday, May 20, 2011

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