Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.26.11

Posted: 26 May 2011 02:15 PM PDT

   
Welcome to The Crap We Missed, our daily roundup of photos not worthy of an entire post, yet chock-full of valuable life lessons. For example, who knew that in Florence when you buy a handbag it comes with a free suitcase filled with pickles and mustache wax? Also, whoever said drug addicts have poor motor Read More ...

January Jones Probably Has Matthew Vaughn’s Baby in Her

Posted: 26 May 2011 12:57 PM PDT

   
It’s starting to become more and more likely that X-Men: First Class director Matthew Vaughn cheated on his wife Claudia Schiffer by sticking a baby in January Jones who kept it for reasons we’re still not sure of, but early speculation points to she’s a bitch. Anyway, apparently Matthew and Claudia bailed on a Beverly Read More ...

Maria Shriver Didn’t Have Enough Sex With Arnold

Posted: 26 May 2011 12:00 PM PDT

   
“Do naht hate da playah, hate da game.” Arnold Schwarzenegger reportedly used to complain that Maria Shriver didn’t have enough sex with him which seems like a weird reason to make yourself the target of a massive criminal investigation considering she looks like the goddamn Predator. And, yes, you read that right, Maria has spiked mandibles Read More ...

Lindsay Lohan’s on House Arrest

Posted: 26 May 2011 11:00 AM PDT

   
“No, wait, minor, almost trivial consequences for my actions? Ohmygod. MOMMM!” Because the celebrity version of justice doesn’t take the holiday weekend off, Lindsay Lohan started her house arrest today, according to People: “She is now confined to the interior premises of her home at all times,” L.A. Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore tells PEOPLE. Whitmore adds that Lohan Read More ...

Kurt Cobain Had a Giant Penis

Posted: 26 May 2011 10:00 AM PDT

   
“Can you just give me a second with that thing? It’s stuck in my shoe again…” For their June issue, GQ put together a “definitive oral history” celebrating the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s debut which, of course, Courtney Love felt would be the proper venue to talk about how huge Kurt Cobain’s penis was: “Kurt was a Read More ...

Kristin Cavallari in a Bikini and Other News

Posted: 26 May 2011 09:45 AM PDT

   
Posted by Photo Boy - So, who wants to see Kim Kardashian’s $2 million ring? - Kara DioGuardi accidentally ate pot brownies at Paula Abdul’s house. Of course. - Who is Joey King? She’s 11, and she’s a baller. - Oprah’s last show was basically a self-help seminar. - Olivia Wilde’s parade of famous penis. Read More ...

Jennifer Lopez Wore This

Posted: 26 May 2011 09:00 AM PDT

   
Oh, look, another post about a singing contest. “For we are all but dancers to the bounce of Simon Cowell’s man-boobs…” – Mark Twain Here’s Jennifer Lopez walking the red carpet for the season finale of American Idol because she’s the real star of the show. Yes, Country Clay Aiken might be the talk of the Read More ...

Cheryl Cole’s Accent Frightens and Confuses Us

Posted: 26 May 2011 08:03 AM PDT

   
Despite appearing at the FOX Upfronts, Cheryl Cole was unceremoniously dropped from the American version of X Factor yesterday and replaced by Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls. While no official reason was given, it’s being hinted that her British accent was too thick which, of course, is a cover up for how big of Read More ...

January Jones Looks Like Hell

Posted: 26 May 2011 07:15 AM PDT

   
Here’s January Jones doing her best Darryl Hannah on drugs impression at the premiere “cast screening” of X-Men: First Class last night, and I swear to God, I don’t even know why she was invited. It’s like she’s trying to torpedo the entire movie. If she’s not awkwardly showing up to promotional events with the Read More ...
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