Friday, September 30, 2011

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.30.11

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:53 AM PDT

Deena Cortese Minidress Legs David Hasselhoff Burger Joint Robert Pattinson Scruffy Beard 
If this is a brochure for your school, now would be a good time to dropout and focus on how you’re going to wage emotional revenge on your parents over the next 20 years for sending you there because clearly they hate you. Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you early because Read More ...

Ashton Kutcher Isn’t Following Demi Moore On Twitter! OMFG!!!!11

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 09:15 AM PDT

Ashton Kutcher Sara Leal Demi Moore Twitter Ashton Kutcher Sara Leal Demi Moore Twitter Ashton Kutcher Sara Leal Demi Moore Twitter 
The signs pointing toward Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore getting a divorce keep coming in. According to Page Six, he’s stopped following her on Twitter now because complicated adult relationships are always best-handled like you’re in fucking high school. On top of that, his alleged mistress Sara Leal (Who may or may not be the Read More ...

Martyn Confirms Gay Sex With Chris Brown, Tells Him To Come Out

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 07:16 AM PDT

Chris Brown Gay Sex Martyn Chris Brown Gay Sex Martyn Chris Brown Gay Sex Martyn 
“Too many men in audience.. must stop.. pelvic thrusting…” Yesterday, allegedly leaked DMs between Chris Brown and R&B singer Martyn revealed the two allegedly had some kind of butt sex with Chris Brown being on the receiving end as almost everyone suspected. While the authenticity of the screencaps have been questioned, Martyn has now confirmed Read More ...

This Kristen Stewart ‘Snow White’ Movie Looks Alright All Of A Sudden

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 06:38 AM PDT

Kristen Stewart Cleavage Snow White And The Huntsman Kristen Stewart Cleavage Snow White And The Huntsman Kristen Stewart Cleavage Snow White And The Huntsman 
Mmm… pale, mumbling emo cleavage. Here’s Kristen Stewart on the set of Snow White and the Huntsman yesterday which apparently is going to feature medieval boobery along with all those other pics of her running around in knight’s armor. Also it looks like her breasts have the power to heal horses, so I hope nobody Read More ...

Everyone’s A Vampire From The Civil War

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 06:03 AM PDT

John Travolta Vampire John Travolta Vampire John Travolta Vampire 
Apparently this is going to be the new Internet fad, so here’s another one of those historical time-traveling vampire photos, this time featuring John Travolta. Although I’m not a sucker for the liberal media’s lies and know this is just time-traveling Nicolas Cage wearing John Travolta’s face so he can bang his wife and let’s Read More ...

Taylor Lautner Wants To Know Whatchoo Talkin’ Bout and Other News

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 06:00 AM PDT

Taylor Lautner El Hormiguero Taylor Lautner El Hormiguero Taylor Lautner El Hormiguero 
Posted by Photo Boy - Steve Carell is taking a not-at-all cliche dramatic turn with his acting. - STOP THE PRESSES! Zahara got her ears pierced. (Read: Brad and Angelina are getting married.) - Penn Badgley is keeping it warm for Michael Fassbender. - Cameron Diaz hot-looking photos that can Read More ...
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X Factor's Thursday Ratings Down 12% From Last Week!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 01:15 PM PDT

Ouchie! Simon Cowell REALLY needs to get this under control.

Yesterday, we were reporting that ratings for The X Factor dropped 11% from last week...and now they've dropped even further.

The second Thursday installment of the show was down 12% from the premiere episode, with a 3.8 adults 18-49 rating.

Fortunately, X Factor once again helped Fox land the top spot for adults 18-49 on Thursday, but it should still be doing better than this.

As we said before, you need to develop a game plan here, Simon!

Good luck!

[Image via WENN.]

Kelly Rowland Found Some Serious Man Candy For Her Lay It On Me Music Video!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 12:45 PM PDT

Hot damn, Kelly Rowland!

Not only is your solo album on FIRE, but so is that effing BOD!

Check out a teaser clip of the former Destiny's Child singer's music video for her latest single, Lay It On Me, off of Here I Am (above)!

Yeah. We wouldn't mind being in her fierce-ass shoes during THIS production! Ha!

Can't wait to see it in full!

New Florence + The Machine Performances! Whoo!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 12:20 PM PDT


For the Luv Luv Luv launch party, Florence + The Machine gave some raw performances of her new songs off her upcoming sophomore album, Ceremonials!

They're only snippets, but they're gems!

This woman's soul is like perfection personified.

Listen to If Only For A Night and Heart Lines (above)! How U like 'em??

Behind-The-Scenes Of Brit Brit's Femme Fatale Tour!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 12:10 PM PDT

This is going to be AMAZING!

In honor of Britney Spears' wildly successful Femme Fatale Tour premiering on EPIX on November 12th at 8pm, the network has just released this really cool behind-the-scenes look at the pop star and her team's preparation for a concert of this magnitude!

Ch-ch-check it out (above)!

We are so, SO excited for this!

She looks - and SOUNDS - GREAT!

Brit Brit for life!

Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark Drama Returns…In Arbitration

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 11:50 AM PDT

At least nobody is likely to get hurt this time around...unless one of the lawyer's accidentally shuts a briefcase on someone's hand. LOLz!

To recap, back in June, the Stage Directors and Choreographers Society filed an arbitration claim against Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark producers on behalf of Julie Taymor.

The union claimed that Julie was owed approximately $300,000 in royalties, despite the fact that she was fired from the production.

Now, the union claims that Julie is owed $500K+ in royalties, and we're hearing that arbitrator George Nicolau will explore the following issues:

- Producers' contractual obligation to pay Julie Taymor

- Producers' grounds for firing her

Let's just hope they get this all figured out soon! We've seriously had enough Spider-Man musical dramz for one lifetime!

Who do U think should win this case? Julie Taymor or the show producers???

[Image via WENN.]

New Foster The People Music Video! As Shot By The Fans!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 11:20 AM PDT

What a fantastic concept for a music video!

Check out the latest clip from Foster the People, which features the band performing their summer smash Pumped Up Kicks at Lollapalooza...as shot by the fans present that day (above)!

Too cool!

And such a nice way to give back!

Way to go, guys!

Were There MULTIPLE Girls In Ashton Kutcher's San Diego Hotel Room???

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 11:10 AM PDT

Absolutely disgusting...if it's true.

New allegations claim that there were multiple women in the San Diego hotel room, which Ashton Kutcher reportedly shared with Sara Leal on the sixth anniversary of Ashton/Demi's marriage.

We're hearing that Sara and her friends were brought to the hotel room by Ashton's bodyguard...and then the other girls waited in a separate area while Ashton and Sara had sex.

We're also hearing that the girls' cell phones were confiscated, and then returned to them later that morning when they left.

This is just awful! We'd love to say that we don't think it's true, but after everything else we've been hearing lately, this definitely sounds believable to us.

Somebody REALLY needs to release a statement to set the record straight, one way or the other.

[Image via WENN.]

Hugh Hefner's Ex Crystal Harris Is Auctioning Off Her Hef Bling!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:50 AM PDT

Sigh. What a gold digger...

To recap, Crystal Harris was the one who called off her engagement to Playboy's Hugh Hefner days before the wedding.

After she left him hangin, she then went on to completely disrespect him on Howard Stern's radio show, calling him a minute man and other less than pleasant comments.

Welp! Now she's auctioning off the engagement ring! We guess we have to give her some credit for milking it for all it's worth making the most out of opportunity.

Didn't she just say his fortune wasn't the most important thing in her life? Ha!

The 3.39 carat diamond ring is now in Christie's possession, and is expected to sell up to $30,000.

[Image via WENN.]

The Kardashians Cheated In High School!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:40 AM PDT

What!?!

Man, they're just gonna take all their math club trophies away now!!!

On The Talk, Kris Jenner reveals a not so admirable part of her daughter's past...

Khloe Kardashian used to forge!

Kim Kardashian is more clever than her haters think!

Kourtney Kardashian is the sneakiest!

Oh my! These girls... always so scandalous!!!

Presss play!

Nicole Scherzinger Goes Bollywood!

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:30 AM PDT

And it is FIIIIIIIIIRE!

Check out the music video for the unbelievably fierce Desi Hits! Culture Shock Remix of Nicole Scherzinger's already-hawt single, Right There (above)!

This track already lends itself well to this kind of re-interpretation, and along with this video...WE'RE OBSESSED!

CANNOT stop listening!

What do U think?? Are U feeling this remix??

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The Daily WTF: A Necklace Made Of Bacon

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:39 AM PDT

The holidays are coming up, you will perhaps need to find gifts for some vegan and Jewish friends. Might I suggest this necklace of bacon? I know it seems like a weird choice, but you see, that’s the only way to make the bacon trend even more ironic. Which is the point, right?

These necklaces are part of Onch Movement’s “Meat-cessory” collection, which was created in tribute to Lady Gaga”s meat dress. The bacon jewelry also comes in cuff-form, it case that’s more up your alley.

(via)

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Tara Reid Will Get Paid The Least For The New American Pie Sequel

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:14 AM PDT

The latest sequel in the American Pie franchise is about a high school reunion, but it’s also a reunion of sorts for the actors themselves. And, as with all reunion type set-ups, some people have aged a bit better than others. One decent measure of how well an actor’s career is doing is how much a film has to pay them to be in it, and it seems Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott are doing pretty well for themselves; they are each getting paid $5 million to be in American Reunion, plus a slice of the film’s profits. Sure, they also have the biggest roles, but if they had absolutely nothing else going in their careers, you can bet that figure would be lower. This movie needs them more than they need it. (I never thought I’d say that about Sean William Scott.)

Way down the list, the lowest paid principal to return is the hapless Tara Reid, who will receive a paltry $250,000. I realize this is not chump change, but it’s low for movie star standards, and it’s lower than anyone else, even Chris Klein. A quick glance at her IMDB page shows that she hasn’t been in very many things you’ve heard of since American Pie 2, with the notable exception of Scrubs. The Crow: Wicked Prayer and Alone In The Dark were not exactly critical successes (or commercial ones, for that matter), and she subsequently had to resort to doing a made-for-TV movie. It’s also worth noting that Tara Reid is now 36, so perhaps a transition out of teen sex comedies would serve her career well, at least until she’s old enough to play someone’s horny mom. Anyone shopping around a Shakespeare project?

According to Perez Hilton, this is the total salary breakdown for the film:

$5 Million – Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott

$3 Million – Alyson Hannigan and Eugene Levy

$500k to $750k – Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Natasha Lyonne, Jennifer Coolidge, Mena Suvari, Shannon Elizabeth

$250k – Tara Reid

Poor, undervalued Tara Reid.

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Melissa McCarthy Wants To Bring Her Weird Improv Character Marbles To Saturday Night Live

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:12 AM PDT

One of the best things about Melissa McCarthy‘s performance in Bridesmaids was that her character Megan was far raunchier and more hilarious than her roles on Gilmore Girls or Mike & Molly. As it turns out, Melissa has a whole bunch of similarly shocking characters up her sleeve—including Marbles, who got her her job on Mike & Molly and who she wants to bring to her gig hosting SNL tomorrow night.

And who exactly is Marbles? As Melissa tells The Hollywood Reporter, she created Marbles while with L.A. improv troupe The Groundlings; she’s “a cross-eyed, eccentric genius.” Marbles sounds like a lucky charm: Not only did Mike & Molly creator Mark Roberts love Melissa the moment he saw Marbles on her reel, but it was that character that also won over Melissa’s husband (and fellow Groundlings alum) Ben Falcone.

Let us introduce you to Marbles, who has a bone to pick with Taco Bell:

“She’s so near and dear to my heart,” Melissa told the New York Post about Marbles in 2010. “Sometimes when my husband and I are discussing things, Marbles weighs in. It’s very disturbing.”

“If I get Marbles on SNL, you can hit me with a bus right after that and I’ll be OK,” she joked to THR. With a day and a half til her SNL debut, it’s all up to the writers now!

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Rumor Has It Radiohead Will Play At The Occupy Wall Street Protest In NYC Today

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 09:47 AM PDT

There’s this protest going on in New York City’s Financial District called Occupy Wall Street. Ask anyone in the city, and you’ll hear different explanations for what people are actually protesting: banks, a culture of greed, corporations. They’ve been at it for nearly two weeks, and have inspired copycat protests in San Francisco and Washington, D.C. But there’s one thing that the original group has that the others don’t: Rumor has it that Radiohead will play a surprise concert downtown today at 4 p.m.

Gawker first reported the rumor; Occupy’s official website has also posted it, though they don’t make it clear if they’re repeating the rumor or confirming it.

Everyone’s pointing to this opinion piece that Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke wrote in The Guardian in 2003 as the reasoning why the band would be willing to involve themselves in this political protest:

The west is creating an extremely dangerous economic, environmental and humanitarian timebomb. We are living beyond our means. The poorest countries need to trade on fair terms with us if they are ever to get off their knees. Handouts are no longer the answer.

…It’s nonsense. Why should the most desperate continue to cooperate with such fools when they increasingly have nothing left to lose? They are not seeing the so-called benefits but they are seeing too much of the costs.

…There must be a change to trade rules in favour of the poor and the environment. International human rights must be respected. There must be corporate accountability so that multinationals are taken to task over corruption, human rights and environment abuses.

Yeah, it sounds like he’s behind the cause. Other celebrities who’ve already shown up to lend their support include contentious documentary maker Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon (who’s had her fair share of political activism).

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Cutegreggator: Dogs Dressed As other Animals For Halloween

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 09:30 AM PDT

Do you have a dog? Have you gotten its Halloween costume yet? No? Well, what are you waiting for? There’s only a month left! I’m of the opinion that the best thing to dress an animal up as is another animal. Animal Planet offers these terrific doggy costumes — dinos, zebras and turtles, oh my.

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Jersey Shore Field Notes: The Pregnancy Scare

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:11 AM PDT

(By an anthropologist)

0:00 – Our specimens emerge hungover for the 11th time this week. Deena, Pauly and Ronnie head to the pizzeria for a day of work.

1:00 – Snooki wakes in her pink leopard-print (endangered species) dress from the night before and tries to track down her mate, Jionni, who abandoned her in a fit of rage.

2:00 – Snooki wants to talk to JWOWW, but JWOWW’s asleep. (Diagnosis: adaptive defense mechanism.) So Snooki puts on her furry boots (soon-to-be-extinct species, hopefully) and heads out alone.

3:00 – Snooki finds a cafe where people are eating quiet lunches. She insists that the music be turned up and dances by herself.

4:00 – Deena must clean the toilet at work. She does a good job. It’s very impressive.

5:30 – Snooki returns home. She calls her father and cries.

6:00 – Snooki at Jenni for not getting daytime drunk with her.

7:00 – Snooki proclaims that this is the worst day of her life.

8:00 – Snooki hates herself and needs to change in order to get married. So she changes into a pink leopard print wedding gown.

10:00 – JWOWW offers to track down the missing Jionni. She puts on a fake mustache and calls him on the telephone. He answers. He’s at the train station, heading to Rome.

14:00 – Snooki arrives to meet Jionni. He has already booked a new flight home. However, he tells Snooki he loves her and that he fucked up. But also he’s mad at her for dancing seductively. (Diagnosis: Jet lag?)

15:00 – Snooki's heart is broken. It leaks pink glitter onto the Italian marble.

19:00 – Finally, our specimens head to the club to refuel with shots of petrol.

19:30 – Deena confides in JWOWW that she thinks she might be pregnant. Her symptoms include: dizziness, emotional behavior, missed period. (Diagnosis: she is pregnant with alcohol and will probably carry it to term.)

20:00 – JWOWW insists that they leave immediately to find a pregnancy test.

21:00 – Now Deena's sobbing. (Note: A symptom of both pregnancy and drunkenness.)

22:00 – Deena returns home to take the test.

23:00 – The test reveals that Deena is not pregnant. Which is lucky for her but unlucky for the rest of us because a future president could have been born.

24:00 – Snooki calls Jionni. He tells her she’ a pig and generally insults her. She hangs up on him and oinks a couple times.

27:00 – Our specimens revive the Algonquin Round Table for an evening. They all sit around and discuss Jionni. Ronnie says that his first mistake was letting Snooki leave the house in a revealing dress. The females don’t like that Jionni is trying to change Snooki and decide he’s no good for her. Snooki belches and oinks again.

28:00 – Snooki has a brilliant idea. They will recreate their favorite Jersey club, Karma, right there in the living room. They will all dress up and Pauly will DJ. (Diagnosis: An impressive display of creativity. Plays well with others.)

31:00 – The Situation resumes his mating ritual with Snooki. He flaunts his peacock feathers and talks shit about Jionni.

32:00 – The Situation says “I love you” to Snooki. (Note: Does The Situation own a dictionary? Look into it.)

34:00 – The Situation jumps to the next stage of his sophisticated mating ritual, which means he lies and tells Snooki that Ronnie told him to kick Jionni in the head.

35:00 – Snooki yells at Ronnie. She feels like no one has her back. To demonstrate this point, she does a trust fall and nobody catches her.

37:00 – The Situation talks about receiving oral sex from Snooki. It sounds suspiciously like fan fiction written about that very thing.

38:00 – Snooki cuddles with Vinny and Deena with Pauly. Pauly kicks Deena out, but she’s happy because he allowed her to cuddle for five to ten minutes, and also because she still isn’t pregnant.

39:00 – Vinny and Snooki fornicate under the blankets. (Note: Have an intern write this fan fiction.)

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Rapper Martyn Claims He Had A Gay Affair With Chris Brown

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 08:41 AM PDT

Forget the Game/50 Cent feud—the newest gay accusation comes from Martyn, a rapper who claims he had sex with Chris Brown. It all started on Wednesday, when several gossip sites released leaked Twitter DMs (direct messages) between Martyn and Chris. You can check out the whole conversation here, but these are the relevant parts (read bottom to top):

Immediately people flocked to Martyn’s Twitter, many claiming the conversations were fake and citing the Photoshop tool displayed on the navigation bar in the screenshots. Over the past 48 hours, Martyn’s been talking back-and-forth with his fans, and what he has to say isn’t what we expected: Some of the messages in the exchange were added to make it more dramatic, but yes, he did hook up with Chris Brown.

Of the many tweets, we’ve picked out the ones that best summarize Martyn’s side of the story:

@IzzyZolanskii @chrisbrown @treysongz I’ll confirm it. It’s all over the web. And twitter.

@trailmixmonster we fcked…had a fall out…assistant leaked shit…added shit…and now all over the net

@straythenmad sure man am ready for interviews and will be revealing a lot. @chrisbrown maybe you should speak up now n say something.

@StansRUS ain’t no need to lie…last time I checked Chris brown is a non factor in ma life sorry to disappoint u :)

@_LeaaaaahFenty He should speak up and help put this to rest finally once n for all…hopefully without lying

The only reaction Chris has given was this rather eccentric tweet from a few hours ago:

Music drowns out the noise! Focus drowns out the ignorant!

We’re not entirely convinced that Martyn’s telling the truth; after all, you have to note that the more famous member involved here is keeping mum, and the (by comparison) amateur is the one who’s only too happy to give interviews. Then again, Chris obviously stands to lose a lot more from this. But the longer he stays silent, the easier it is for people to believe Martyn wholeheartedly.

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Steve Carell To Play A Crazy Murderer

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 10:20 AM PDT

When Steve Carell walked away from The Office to pursue other acting opportunities, a lot of people thought he was crazy. And maybe he is! I mean, look at those eyes. A person could drown in them. Who knows what’s lurking behind those watery brown wonders?

Well, now he’s putting all that crazy to good use in a movie about a wealthy murderer called Foxcatcher that is based on a true story. The next project of Moneyball director Bennett Miller, the film tells the story of du Pont scion John du Pont, a paranoid schizophrenic who ended up killing his friend, Olympic gold medal-winning wrestler David Schultz. (The real du Pont died last year in a Pennsylvania prison at age 72.)

Carell might seem like an odd choice for this film as he’s primarily known his his comedic skills, but Michael Scott’s character always had a good deal of pathos in addition to the larfs. He was, at base, a fundamentally lonely man with few friends whose primary joy in life came from messing around at the office. And don’t forget Carell’s great performance in Little Miss Sunshine as the title character’s suicidal uncle. I’m fully confident he can pull off the role of the eccentric rich guy with a screw loose. And I don’t think anyone is really over his abandonment of Dunder-Mifflin yet, so this movie had better be fucking Osar-worthy.

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Hot Shot: Alex Pettyfer At The Chateau Marmont

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 07:12 AM PDT

Alex Pettyfer donned some sort of fancy track suit for a night out at the Chateau Marmont on Friday. And it looks like the 21-year-old actor has grown a beard. We’re not worried — it’s pretty much guaranteed that Alex will look swoon-worthy no matter what.

Alex has been shooting the male stripper film Magic Mike with Channing Tatum an Matthew McConaughey. The movie looks so great because all those boys are shirtless all the time. Fine cinema for all.

(via JustJared)

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5 Facts About Jack Osbourne’s Fiancée Lisa Stelly

Posted: 30 Sep 2011 06:49 AM PDT

Jack Osbourne is engaged—and it’s his fiancée Lisa Stelly who broke the news. The aspiring actress tweeted about it last night. Surprisingly, there are absolutely no details about how the two met — though we know that Jack’s been spending time behind the camera as a filmmaker — and how he asked her. But we did manage to scrounge up 5 facts about Lisa!

1. Her most well-known role was in Green Day‘s “21 Guns” video. Because their album 21st Century Breakdown is another rock opera, she’s credited as playing Gloria in the opera.

2. She’s kind of a nerd! You find out a lot from a girl’s Facebook page: The Friday Night Lights fan’s profile picture is a Keep Calm and Carry On poster that reads Keep Calm and Coach Taylor; and she’s posted a photo of herself dolled up to look like a Na’vi from Avatar. Our kind of girl!

3. She started out as a model. We can’t tell for which campaigns, but there are plenty of photos on her Facebook, as well as this portfolio uploaded to YouTube:

4. It’s hard to tell, but she might’ve had a rough time of it in previous relationships. The one quote that accompanies every announcement of their engagement is from an insider, who says that Jack “is a great influence on her… It’s just no drama. More stable.” More stable than what?

5. She’s not so cool that she won’t mock other celebrities; in her most recent tweet she joked that Courtney Stodden‘s tweets make her “physically ill but alas I keep reading…”

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