Sunday, September 25, 2011

Crushable

Crushable


Gallery: Happy Birthday, Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas! Let’s See How Your Careers Match Up

Posted: 25 Sep 2011 10:15 AM PDT

Things that are interesting: Married acting couple extraordinaire Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas have the EXACT SAME BIRTHDAY. And it is today. Happy birthday! Just for kicks, we've put together a comparison of their careers—what each of them was doing at any given time. You'll notice that the timeline starts in 1991; this is because that's when Catherine started to hit it big, and given the rather wide age difference between the two of them… well, you can see where that's going. Anyway, read on to witness their careers running parallel to each other!

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Good Idea/Bad Idea: A New Blair Witch Project Movie

Posted: 25 Sep 2011 08:50 AM PDT

Okay, guys. I want you to put yourself back in the late '90s. Are you there yet? Good. Remember: This is a time in which viral marketing is a brand-new thing, and it's taking the world on by storm. It's also a time before the found-footage genre existed as we know it in 2011. Sure, there had been a few prior examples– namely Cannibal Holocaust– but it is by no means as prevalent a genre as it would eventually become. It's also not as cliché, so it's new and exciting. It makes sense, then, that a little horror movie shot on a miniscule budget would skyrocket to fame during this time: It's the beginning of found-footage filmmaking as we know it, as well as the beginning of super clever viral marketing. That movie, of course, is The Blair Witch Project.

Okay, now come on back to the present. Because guess what? Rumor has it that there's a new Blair Witch movie in the works. This might be an amazingly awesome idea—but it also might be an amazingly terrible idea. Thoughts on this, Gentle Readers?

Yep: Last week, news broke that a third film could happen. Said director Eduardo Sanchez, "It's completely up to Lionsgate. Dan [Myrick, Sanchez's co-writer and co-director] and I are ready to do it. We've been toying around with a sequel idea that we really like. It's just a matter of getting our schedules in line and having Lionsgate sign off on the idea…. We're as close as we've ever been to making it happen, but it's still not a guaranteed thing." Lionsgate, by the way, is the distributor that bought out Artisan Entertainment, the now-defunct company that distributed The Blair Witch Project. And as someone who was quite taken with the first movie, part of me is stroking my imaginary beard and going "Hmmmm… iiiiiiiiinteresting…"

Furthermore, according to Sanchez, they'd like to bring back original cast members Heather Donahue, Michael Williams, and Joshua Leonard for this hypothetical new film. The Mary Sue pointed out that they weren't so sure how this would work, given that SPOILERS (in the event that you've been living under a rock for the last twelve years) the film didn't end so well for its three intrepid would-be documentarians; so yes, figuring out how to bring them back is a tricky thing indeed.

But you know what the most interesting part about this whole thing is? One upon a time, there had been a plan to make the story into a trilogy. The idea was for the second film to be a sequel and the third film to be a prequel. When the sequel didn't do well enough to justify a third film, though, the idea was scrapped; then, shortly thereafter, Artisan was bought out by Lionsgate, who didn't seem too keen on continuing the franchise. So I wonder, then: Do you think that for this new movie, Myrick and Sanchez might be able to take a leaf out of the book of a more recent found-foot film: Paranormal Activity 2. Somehow, the second film in the series managed to be both sequel and prequel at the same time. This might be a way for them to bring back Heather, Mike, and Josh without ruining the wonderful ambiguity of the original film's ending. There's also still a lot to be plumbed from the extensive mythology surrounding the Blair Witch, which could be used to great effect. There's a lot of possibility here, and a lot of it is pretty exciting to think about.

So that covers the "good idea" column; what's it got going for it in the "bad idea" column? Simply put, The Blair Witch Project has a TERRIBLE history when it comes to sequels. Immediately following the success of the original, Artisan launched right into making a sequel, which (predictably) was a VERY BAD IDEA. This sequel was not made by Sanchez and Myrick, and it TANKED. To be fair, it does have its moments– it does a decent job working within the world the original had created (hello, meta!), and it has the distinction of being one of Jeffrey Donovan's bigger roles during his pre-Burn Notice career– but there's a reason it tanked: It's bad. It also didn't have the advantage of the original Blair Witch Project's marketing campaign, which, one might argue, is what made it so unique in the first place. I mean, by and large, the world ACTUALLY THOUGHT HEATHER, MIKE, AND JOSH WERE MISSING. That’s dedication, people.

The Mary Sue went on to say that with all of the technology out there that's been developed since the original film, the time might be ripe for some wacky, creative new marketing campaign, and therefore ripe for a new movie. And I kind of think they're right: It is exciting to think about. We might end up with an Inside-esque creation, and with the right ideas behind it, as well as the right budget—well, let's just say that I wonder exactly how far you can take something like that. And what it might do when it gets there.

So I'll be watching out for this one. What do you think, readers? Good idea/bad idea?

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Sunday Cute: Meet the World’s Shortest Cat

Posted: 25 Sep 2011 07:15 AM PDT

Did you know that there is such a thing as a “Munchkin cat”? Neither did I. But there is! And Wikipedia just confirmed it for me! Because of course anything that appears on Wikipedia has to be the truth, right?… Well, that aside, meet Fizz Girl, who is officially the world’s shortest cat according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Munchkin cats are the result of a naturally occurring genetic mutation which causes cats to have really short legs. Fizz Girl’s, though, are the shortest of all. Awkward? Maybe; she looks kind of like a cat version of a dachsund. But she’s also kind of cute. And apparently mobility isn’t a problem despite the short legs, because her favorite places to hang out are the ones that are really, really high up. You go, Fizz Girl. Shorties represent.

Happy Sunday!

[Via Buzzfeed]

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Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren’t: The Hanged King’s Tragedy

Posted: 24 Sep 2011 02:40 PM PDT

Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren't is a series that explores modern urban legends, bringing you a new tale each week.

The author of the play is unknown. It first appeared in print in 1640 in quarto form, a publication format issued in 1452 and used to great extent during the golden age of Renaissance drama. Its publisher, a William Cooke, disappeared from historical record shortly after the quarto's appearance. The play does not appear in the Stationer's Register, the official record book that documented publication copyrights in the 16th and 17th centuries; nor does it have an entry in the records of the Master of the Revels, which logged performance dates and information.

There is something very, very wrong with this play.

It is called THE HANGED KING'S TRAGEDY.

The Hanged King's Tragedy is, at first glance, a standard five-act Carolinian revenge tragedy. It bears many similarities to other popular revenge tragedies of the time, including Shakespeare's earlier plays Hamlet and Titus Andronicus. The Hanged King's Tragedy is set in the Kingdom of Trinculo, which may either be a reference to a buffoonish character from Shakespeare's play The Tempest, or else a misspelling of Trinacria, another name for Sicily. Like Hamlet, the play opens after the death of a king; in this case, it is Sforza, the king of Trinculo. It is believed that Sforza died from natural causes while away from court. His younger brother Gonzalo is crowned and marries Sforza's widow, Queen Isabella, again drawing similarities to Hamlet.

36.78 percent of recorded performances of the play end in Event 701.

EVENT 701:
Occurrences of Event 701 generally follow the same pattern.

7 to 14 days prior to Event: During the technical rehearsal and dress rehearsal periods, cast will begin to deviate from published text of play. Deviations will be orderly and consistent, as if they are following a new version of the script. Cast and crew will be unaware of any change. If the deviations are brought to their attention, they will say that the play has always been that way.

1 to 2 hours before Event: The figure designated as Anomaly 701-1 will begin to make appearances onstage in the final scene of Act I. It appears in the background or off to the side. The cast do not acknowledge Anomaly 701-1.

The Event: Anomaly 701-1 manifests onstage during the Act V banquet scene. It will watch as the cast either murders each other or commits suicide. Rioting breaks out in the audience.

Following the Event: Surviving audience members exit performance space and continue to engage in random violence. Sedation and/or restraint will be required. Survivors' personalities will begin to appear approximately 24 hours after the Event. Survivors will exhibit the symptoms of trauma victims. Many will have no memory of the Event. Others may be permanent comatose or psychotic.

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Zach Braff and Donald Faison Are Really Happy About the End of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’

Posted: 24 Sep 2011 01:15 PM PDT

I mean, we’re ALL really excited about the end of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” but Zach Braff and Donald Faison are REALLY excited about it. How excited? Well…

File under “Celebrities Who Act Like Their Characters.” Thank you, Scrubs. As you were.

[Via]

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