Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Crushable

Crushable


A Note From J.D. Salinger To His Maid Is On Sale For $50,000, Proves He’s Kind Of A Dick

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 10:51 AM PDT

Could this be the most important unpublished J.D. Salinger work out there? Yes, there are those 15 secret novels the author allegedly wrote, but we haven’t seen those, and this note penned in 1989 to J.D.’s maid is at least of tangible merit. The note reads:

“Dear Mary — Please make sure all the errands are done before you go on vacation, as I do not want to be bothered with insignificant things.
Thank you. J.D. Salinger”

I wouldn’t want to guess at the intricacies of the relationship between J.D. and his maid, but this note seems pretty darn rude, right? Especially coming from a man who’s known as much for his reclusive homebody nature as he is for writing his pre-teen Bible The Catcher in the Rye, it seems like a stretch to imagine that Salinger had ultra-pressing matters waiting for him in the outside world. “I do not want to be bothered with insignificant things. I have to go about the important business of sitting in my chair and staring at the wall. I have a house to never leave and reporters to ignore.”

The note is being auctioned on eBay for $50,000 by a Nevada-based company who acquired the note via mysterious means. I kind of want to buy it – anyone got 50 grand I can borrow?

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Video: Gerard Depardieu Explains Himself On Anderson Cooper’s New Talk Show

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 10:52 AM PDT

If you’re reading this site right now, you’ve probably already seen Anderson Cooper totally losing his shit over jokes about French actor Gerard Depardieu‘s little airplane urination incident. If you haven’t, I strongly suggest you go watch it right this instant, because Anderson Cooper’s heavenly peals of laughter will brighten just about anyone’s day. In fact, I just went and re-watched it myself, and it was exactly the afternoon pick-me-up that I needed. Aah.

Now, Anderson Cooper has taken it upon himself to speak to Depardieu directly on his new daytime talk show Anderson, and the results are predictably hilarious. Chatting via video feed from Dublin, where he’s currently filming Asterix, Depardieu is refreshingly amiable, as you can see in the videos. He recounts the tale more or less how his friends originally told the press it went down, and I actually feel a little bit bad for the guy. “I’m not a monster, I’m just a man who has to pee,” he says in his adorbs French accent, and I am inclined to agree.

Depardieu confirms that he saw the Anderson Cooper giggle-gate video, and that he thought it was funny. Then, Cooper reveals that he’s given everyone in the audience a plastic water bottle in case they can’t hold it any longer, and Depardieu shows him his own, much larger water bottle. (“I am an elephant,” he just finished telling Coop.) In addition to this interview, our favorite silver fox also got a spray tan with Snooki, showed us his summer home, and canoodled with his beard Kathy Griffin. I’d say he’s off to a good start.

(You can watch the full interview at Mediaite)

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Ladies Be Filmin’: Ringer

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 10:34 AM PDT

The fall TV season is underway and, despite the ever-lower numbers of women in the writers' rooms, it's being hailed as the year of the women: 17 out of the 25 new scripted shows on the Big Five networks are female-centered and many were created by women. In this series, comedian Leila Cohan-Miccio watches the new female-centered shows and evaluates how realistic their portrayals of women actually are. First up, Sarah Michelle Gellar's return to television: Ringer.

Everything about Ringer can be summed up in one scene: Bridget, one of Sarah Michelle Gellar's characters (more on that in a minute), wakes up on a yacht to find her identical twin sister Siobhan missing, her engagement ring left in an empty pill container. Bridget spots Siobhan's sweater in the water and jumps in to look for her sister. She goes underwater…and the show can't afford to follow her, so we're treated to an extended shot of the top of the water. That's Ringer: decent ideas without the ability to follow through.

The overcomplicated plot of Ringer's pilot follows Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar), a former addict and stripper. After escaping from testifying in a murder trial, she meets up with identical twin, rich lady Siobhan (also Gellar), who promptly jumps off a boat. Obviously, the most logical course of action is for Bridget to assume Siobhan's identity, only to learn, in a twist shocking to no one, that her sister's picture-perfect life is not so perfect.

The good news: Sarah Michelle Gellar looks amazing, to the point where I wonder if there is a picture of her in an attic somewhere a la Dorian Gray. Gellar and hottie Mike Colter, as Bridget's sponsor, have great chemistry.

The bad news: pretty much everything else. Gellar doesn't get to have any of the fun she had on Buffy: she's stuck looking terrified (as Bridget) or bored (Siobhan) with no wit. Though there's a fight scene, she's mostly getting her ass kicked, rather than kicking ass.

The plot is overcomplicated – is the big story here Bridget's trouble with the law or the mystery of where Siobhan went or Siobhan's messy personal life? Who knows? Worse, the very fun fish-out-of-water idea of trashy Bridget having to fit into posh Siobhan's life is basically ignored in favor of approximately one hundred close-ups of Sarah Michelle Gellar looking pensive in front of a mirror. The dialogue is on-the-nose to the max – a scene where Bridget calls her sponsor and explains the entire plot is particularly egregious.

Women don't come off particularly well in Ringer – Bridget's not terribly bright and Siobhan is just mean – but then, neither does anyone. Bad news, Buffy fans: this isn't the Sarah Michelle Gellar comeback vehicle you've been waiting for.

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Based On A Wallpaper Comparison, It Looks Like Scarlett Johansson’s Nude Photos Are Real

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 10:40 AM PDT

This morning, we posed a query as to whether or not you guys think the leaked nude photos of Scarlett Johansson are real, and it looks like most of you are convinced that the naked bits in question are in fact the body parts of Scar. One of you, a commenter named Sanja, went so far as to link us to a gallery of photos of ScarJo’s Los Angeles home, taken when she put the house up for sale last May.

Ha – would you look at that! It sure does seem like the wallpaper in the nude pic matches the wallpaper in Scarlett’s home. So then, more evidence to support this big and important mystery.

Great work, eagle-eyed Sanja. You’re a regular Encyclopedia Brown — who specializes in smut, of course.

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Emma Stone Dresses Up as Princess Leia and Fights Cancer

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 10:14 AM PDT

Emma Stone knows how to make the whole “geek chic” look work. Rather than make a minimal effort and just wear a nerdy T-shirt like Megan Fox, Emma really commits: In the new campaign for Stand Up 2 Cancer, she wears Yoda on her chest and Princess Leia buns on her head.

(Who else thought “Emma Stone dresses up as Princess Leia” meant that she’d be rocking the Slave Leia look? Perhaps a small disappointment for some of you, but then again, you’d be too distracted to hear the message about cancer.)

The Star Wars T-shirts are part of a new promotion meant to raise awareness about SU2C and coincide with the release of the Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray. SU2C’s done two telethons — the one in 2008 featured Patrick Swayze before his death — but it looks as if they’re smartly extending their reach to the Internet.

So yeah, if you didn’t love Emma Stone before, here are two big reasons to.

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Video: Amy Winehouse’s Last Single, ‘Body and Soul,’ Is A Duet With Tony Bennett

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 09:26 AM PDT

Amy Winehouse‘s last recording, a duet version of Tony Bennett‘s Body and Soul, was released today on what would have been her 28th birthday. In the video, she appears healthy and clearheaded, a far cry from her disastrous last performances. And as always, that voice is just amazing.

Wearing a sweater from her own line with Fred Perry, Amy flirts adorably with Bennett throughout the video, as one does when singing a duet with Tony Bennett. At one point, she kisses her necklace and points up to the ceiling…what’s she looking at? Is it a shout out to God, or someone in an engineering booth? It’s not clear. But when she hugs Tony Bennett at the end, your heart will melt, or at least it should, if you have one.

Not coincidentally, Amy’s posthumous charity, The Amy Winehouse Foundation UK, also launched today, and its first major proceeds will come from sales of the single. According to MTV News, the mission statement of the organization is to “support charities and organisations undertaking charitable activities in both the United Kingdom and abroad who help, support, or care for young people — especially but not exclusively those who are in need by reason of ill health, disability, financial disadvantage or addiction.” Once you’ve wiped the tears from your eyes, you can go here to donate, if you feel so inclined.

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If We Had to Watch Anyone Get Married on TV, It’d Be Sherri Shepherd on Wedding Fabulous

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 09:09 AM PDT

This year has seen a lot of televised wedding: Prince William and Kate Middleton tying the knot, the underwhelming Nick Lachey/Vanessa Minnillo union, the predictably over-the-top Kim Kardashian wedding – and, somewhere in the middle of all that, Sherri Shepherd‘s nuptials. I was really wary about watching Wedding Fabulous: Sherri Shepherd Gets Married, Style’s special about the View co-host’s wedding preparations and big day. But surprisingly, she came off as really likeable, and the program left me with the same feel-good vibes as an episode of Say Yes to the Dress.

We couldn’t help automatically comparing Sherri’s wedding to that of Star Jones, her View predecessor whose wedding was famous because it featured over thirty sponsors who donated stationery, bridesmaids’ dresses, and even the flight to her honeymoon. When we found out that Sherri’s wedding would be documented as reality TV, we admit that we jumped to conclusions and figured that this was just an evolution of Star’s corporate sponsorship.

We’re glad we were wrong — plus, we learned quite a few things in the process. The View is not Sherri’s only job: She’s currently a recurring character on NBC’s 30 Rock, and she’s the star of Sherri, a Lifetime sitcom based on her life. Being part of reality TV seems to come naturally to her; suddenly, this special seemed less like a grab for attention and more like her own way of celebrating her special day with the fans she’s made over her years in the business.

There are some eye-rolling moments, like when she refers to it as a “Sherri-tale wedding” or references her decision that she and fiance Lamar Sally be celibate for at least six weeks before the wedding, if not their entire courtship (it’s unclear). But the wedding prep is interspersed with Sherri performing stand-up and showing that she has a lot of perspective on the situation; rather than be a bridezilla, she can crack jokes about the astronomical price of her perfect dress or getting vajazzled before her wedding night.

So if you’re a softie who likes to see people who are genuinely excited to be marrying the person they love, then catch Wedding Fabulous: Sherri Shepherd Gets Married on repeats. It’s enough to make us almost forget that Sherri doesn’t believe in evolution…

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Cool Fedora, Ryan Gosling!

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 08:28 AM PDT



Ryan Gosling
is wearing a fedora. Ryan Gosling will serve you organic fair trade coffee from Ethiopia, and it will cost $6 and it will take him 15 minutes to walk across the room to the coffee maker because he’s busy chatting with the girl with the sparrow tattoos, and he will expect you to tip him $3.

Actually, Ryan Gosling is wearing a fedora on the set of his new film, The Gangster Squad, which recounts the true story of a group of 1940s policeman who set out to bring down the notorious criminal Mickey Cohen. In addition to Drive, out this weekend, Ryan will soon be seen in The Ides of March and The Place Beyond the Pines.

In all of those movies, Ryan Gosling plays a barista.

(via)

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Disney Star Brenda Song Not Actually Pregnant With A Cyrus

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 08:12 AM PDT

When we first reported that apple-cheeked Disney star Brenda Song was pregnant with the demon spawn of Miley Cyrus‘ Myspace-punk brother Trace, something about it felt so, so, wrong. Hence, it’s with a joyful heart that I report a counter statement from Brenda’s camp that she’s not pregnant after all. The statement comes on the heels of the publication of several photos (left) of Brenda looking not-very-pregnant for someone supposedly entering her second trimester, although it should be noted that it would be pretty easy to hide it in what she’s wearing.

Via Radar Online:

"She's actually not pregnant," Mai Song said about her 23-year-old daughter, despite the reports that The Suite Life of Zack & Cody actress was having a baby.

“It's very upsetting to our family because of what I'm going through and it's not how we raised her," her mother said, revealing that she has been undergoing cancer treatment. “She’s very upset.”

Far be it from me to parse the words of a cancer-afflicted mother, but note that the way Ms. Song phrased it, there’s a tiny bit of ambiguity. She’s not pregnant, present tense. It also strikes me as bizarre that the rumor was first published nearly a month ago, and Brenda’s camp didn’t comment on the story at all until those bump-less paparazzi pictures came out. The way I see it, there are four options:

1.) Her publicist planted it to make Brenda Song famous outside the Tiger Beat crowd.

2.) Evil tabloids made up lies to get page views.

3.) She had a miscarriage and doesn’t want to talk about it in the press, which is understandable.

4.) She had an abortion and doesn’t want to talk about it in the press, for fear that she’ll piss off conservative parents across the country.

Which was it? We’ll almost definitely never know.

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Parenting Lessons from Teen Mom: The Importance of Oral Hygiene

Posted: 14 Sep 2011 07:55 AM PDT

You guys! This is the second-to-last episode of this season! Consequently, last night’s episode was ridiculously long, spanning an hour and a half instead of the usual hour. Ready for this? Here we go:

AMBER

DON'T: Date weird guys.
Remember Clinton? That really awkward guy Amber briefly dated? Well, she broke that off after the whole jail incident (surprise). In a phone conversation with a friend that seems rather staged indeed (thanks, MTV!), we learn that when Amber was in jail, they threw her in the drunk tank. The drunk tank? What, was she smashed at the time? Who knows, but she says it taught her a lesson. She also reminds us that she has custody of Leah right now and she really hopes it stays that way.

DO: Take some time out of your busy day for tea.
In other news, Amber doesn't know when her court date is yet, but she just found out that she and Gary have a meeting with Child Protective Services this week. Gary's mom stops by Amber's to talk about what the plan is, though Amber doesn't do much more than bitch about how hard it is to coordinate everything around the no-contact order. She says that CPS hadn't had any trouble with Amber yet, so she's hoping that the good faith she's built up with them will play in her favor. She starts making the trademark scrunchy Amber crying face, but distracts herself with Leah, who is being adorable as always. The three of them have a tea party around the coffee table. It's… actually kind of cute. Amber may be a fuck-up, but every so often, we get glimpses of a mom who does in fact care about her kid.

DON'T: Hang out with the same friend more than once.
Amber's mom has offered to take care of Leah while Amber goes to counseling, so off they go, while meanwhile, Gary sits down with his friend Evan at some nondescript restaurant somewhere for another staged conversation. Has anyone else ever noticed how we never see any of the cast's friends more than once? Seriously I have NO IDEA who any of these people are. They just show up for one scene, then vanish into the ether again. Anyway, this particular staged conversation is about how Gary feels about the whole situation in general and the CPS meeting tomorrow specifically. Gary is hoping that CPS will decide at the end of tomorrow that they don't need to be involved. Dramatic irony: We already know how this is going to go, and it's not the way that Gary wants it to. Drama!

DON'T: Let your daughter throw up everywhere.
Counseling seems to have gone well, but Amber is still freaking out about the CPS meeting tomorrow, so Krystal stops by with her son so that Amber can unload. Amber also appears to be wearing crazy fake eyelashes, which kind of make her eyes look like parasitic creatures attached to her face. While they're chatting, Amber's mom brings Leah back home. Leah and Krystal's kid clearly adore each other and they run off to play together… and then Leah throws up. She doesn't look like she's sick, so Amber's not really sure what's going on, but she pops her in the tub while Krystal gets her clothes in the washer. After Krystal and Amber's mom head off, Amber curls up in bed with Leah. Awww.

The next day, we learn that Leah was throwing up all night; but they've still got the meeting with CPS to go to, so off to the babysitter Leah goes.

DO: Take your sick child to the doctor.
Post-meeting, everything seems to have gone well—but CPS will continue to check in on Amber and Gary for at least a few more months. Gary picks Leah up and takes her to the doctor, after which he calls his mom. Leah, it seems, has strep throat and two ear infections, one on each side. Poor kid. They've also got a court date now, at which they're hoping to get the no-contact order dropped.

When Amber gets home, she remarks that SHE'S got a sore throat now, too. Looks like she caught Leah's strep, because that's what happens when you let your strep-ridden kid sleep in you bed all night. Krystal stops by with stuff to make cupcakes, because gee, isn't that just the thing to do when you've got strep? While they're baking—well, while Krystal's baking and Amber watches—Amber gives her the lowdown on what happened in the meeting. She talks mostly about how weird it was that she and Gary weren't even able to make eye contact. Amber, naturally, is a little put out that CPS not only isn't stopping coming, but is sticking around for so much longer. Then they ice their troubles away.

I'd like to note that at this point, the commercial break featured an ad for Awkward with the catchphrase, "16 and NOT pregnant!" Hoorah for self-reflexive comedy!

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