Saturday, October 15, 2011

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy


“Dita Von Teese’s wears an odd nightgown-dress in Berlin” links

Posted: 14 Oct 2011 11:11 AM PDT

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Dita Von Teese's négligée dress is odd. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Kim Kardashian in a hijab. Is this offensive? I can't decide. [Dlisted]
Blogger claims the only birth control she uses is Plan B. WTF?!? [Gawker]
Nicole Richie's bangs trauma is really bad. [LaineyGossip]
LMAO: Deconstructing the New Year's Eve poster. [Pajiba]
Charlize Theron's dress IS pretty, but the hair is tragic. [Go Fug Yourself]
Aw, Pink's daughter Willow is adorable. [Pop Sugar]
Minka Kelly is forced into making out with that blonde chick. [The Blemish]
I don't dislike Pippa's gown, but it ages her. [A Socialite Life]
Good God, stop yelling at Vanessa Hudgens. [Evil Beet]
Adam Levine and his girlfriend pose on Vogue Russia. [ICYDK]
Progress? Men can pole dance now. [OMG Blog]
Brad Pitt gets hit by a car - this video is funny/disturbing. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Kate Beckinsale's ass is perfection. [Yeeeah]
Tina Fey debuts baby Penelope! [INFDaily]
Kirk Cameron's birthday party looks sad. [Videogum]
Jamie King talks about body image, dieting. [Life & Style]

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Jessica Simpson’s baby bump is bigger than Beyonce’s

Posted: 14 Oct 2011 10:34 AM PDT

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I don't have much to add to the headline. These are some new photos of Jessica Simpson in a maxi dress, looking various stages of pregnant depending on the angle and the wind gusts. I'm almost positive that she's knocked up, and I'm almost positive that she's got a bigger, more natural baby bump than Beyonce. I don't know what Jessica is waiting for as far as announcing the damn thing. She must be past her first trimester by now, right?

There are blind items suggesting that Jessica is trying to negotiate her way onto a People (or maybe Us Weekly) cover with the announcement, and Radar says that she's already telling friends and family that she's knocked up. She's apparently been off the booze for months too. Radar also reports, "It's still early in the pregnancy, and Jessica has decided to wait before sharing her happiness with her fans." I have to admit… I'm a little bit proud of her for keeping it so low-key. She hasn't said a damn thing. Neither has her dad! Could it be that she's not trying to negotiate anything, she just doesn't want to make her announcement all Beyonce-like?

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Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Linnocent didn’t show up for community service because they were mean to her!

Posted: 14 Oct 2011 10:04 AM PDT

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This is yet another Linnocent post about her ongoing, self-manufactured drama and general dumbassery. As we've already discussed today, Linnocent got kicked out of her community service program for being an unreliable, lazy crackhead. To make matters worse, she also blew off her court-ordered therapy sessions. There's more to add to the pile of crack shenanigans, and I'm just going to do it in bullet points:

*TMZ reports that Linnocent is telling friends that she was "unfairly" treated at the Downtown Women’s Center, "insisting the staff was REALLY mean to her from the second she arrived. Lohan has assured her inner circle … she did everything she was asked to do while performing her court-ordered community service at the L.A. center over the past few months … and NEVER showed up late." Of course.

*Linnocent is also telling friends that she "loves" her service at the American Red Cross, "saying her relationship with the staff is good."

*According to TMZ's source in the Probation Department, as of September 30, Linnocent had only completely 21 hours of community service. 339 to go!

*The last time she was in court, Judge Sautner told her that she had to see a psychiatrist every week as part of her probation, and that "work" is not an excuse. Apparently, Judge Sautner also said that if Linnocent violated, she would go to jail. Blah blah blah.

*Remember Danette Meyers? She was the LA DA who prosecuted Linnocent for all of her myriad cracked-out capers. Ms. Meyers says: “If true, it only confirms my opinion that formal supervised probation was warranted in this case. My opinion is based on 25 years of experience prosecuting cases. It is unfortunate the court did not agree with me." Summary probation = no appointments with probation officers. Formal probation = drug and alcohol testing, meetings, etc.

*A random dentist tells Hollywood Life that Linnocent's damaged teeth "appear to be from a combination of smoking, drug use and lack of personal care… smoking [cigarettes] causes yellowing of the teeth, which we definitely see here in this picture. However, at such a young age, smoking wouldn't cause the decay and browning you see around the gums. Damage like that is something we see in patients who are using or have used drugs… Marijuana and other drugs don't affect the teeth the same way. Marijuana is smoked and so the heat generated from smoking causes inflammation which can cause damage to the soft tissue. However, drugs like cocaine, crack, meth all have acidic properties which is more destructive to the enamel which ultimately leads to decay." METH.

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Radar doesn't think Linnocent will be sent to jail because she had until next May to complete everything. TMZ thinks she definitely will go to jail. Meanwhile, I wish I was playing outside in the sunshine.

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Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

Michael Douglas’ son rats out Mexican drug cartel, Michael & Catherine fear for their lives

Posted: 14 Oct 2011 09:53 AM PDT

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This is like something from that Traffic movie that Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones starred in. It’s also giving me flashbacks to the awesome season of “Breaking Bad” that just finished. Michael Douglas’ son, Cameron, 32, from Douglas’ first marriage to Diandra Luker, is currently serving a five year sentence in federal prison on narcotics trafficking charges. He was basically shipping meth cross country and selling large quantities of it. (You can read more about his storied criminal history here.) Cameron’s sentence was apparently cut in half due to the fact that he testified against a Mexican drug dealer, who was convicted and sentenced to five years in prison as a result. Cameron is set to testify against yet another dealer later this month. Cameron could be put into protective custody in prison to protect him from retaliation, and there’s a real fear that Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones could be targeted. Even if the Enquirer is just jumping to conclusions here, they’re probably right.

Michael’s son Cameron, 32, who is currently serving a five-year prison sentence on federal narcotics charges, was the government’s star witness in early October against one of his suppliers. The federal trial in Manhattan ended recently with a conviction.

Cameron, whose sentence was cut in half because of his cooperation, is set to return to the stand in late October for the trial of yet another dealer. Those close to his famous father fear the 67 year-old Oscar winner could be targeted by ruthless criminals in retaliation for Cameron’s testimony.

“Michael feels Cameron got what he deserves for possessing and dealing cocaine and crystal meth, but his pals are concerned that he will in the crosshairs of Cameron’s dealers,” a source who once worked for the family revealed. While Cameron may be placed in protective custody to prevent retaliation at the Lewisburg, PA prison where he’s serving his sentence, sources speculate that his family could be in grave danger.

“Since they are out in public, they could be hunted down,” maintained the source. “I think they’ll have to beef up security and hire bodyguards to keep an eye on them around the clock.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, October 24, 2011]

The first dealer Cameron testified against was an illegal Mexican immigrant, hence the connection to the Mexican drug cartel. The source says “These are bad dudes with a lot of money and guns at their disposal. They will stop at nothing to seek revenge.” That’s scary as hell! Micheal and Catherine have dealt with creepy homicidal stalkers, they’ve dealt with mean ass taunting paparazzi, but they’ve never had to deal with drug dealers out for revenge. I hope they get some really good security.

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Here’s Michael Douglas playing golf in Scotland and eating a hot dog on 9/29/11. I love those pics so much. Michael and Catherine are shown at the US Open on 9/10/11. Credit: WENN and Fame

Johnny Depp at ‘The Rum Diary’ premiere: still douchey or still hot?

Posted: 14 Oct 2011 08:36 AM PDT

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These are photos from last night's LA premiere of The Rum Diary. Johnny looks pretty nice here, I think. I like his hair this length, and I like that he put on a suit and actually tried. The Rum Diary is a passion project for Depp - that much I got from his VF interview.

Speaking of, I know a lot of you are over Johnny Depp these days, what with his support of Roman Polanski, and then his douchey, out-of-touch, and offensive comments in Vanity Fair about how photo shoots equal rape. Well, I read the whole interview, and while Johnny totally said those things and he was completely right in apologizing for it, I also think that he wasn't being interviewed by the best person. The dude interviewing him was an old friend and godfather to his son. And the whole interview was rather lacking as far as "Johnny being an interesting person." It's been explained to me time and time again why he's so interesting and cool, but time and time again, he fails to reveal that side of himself in interviews, and part of the problem is that Johnny rarely gets interviewed by anyone other than his sycophantic friends. Whenever he was asked about anything more than superficial, Johnny muttered "I dunno" or "I don't care." It was tedious.

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I'm also including photos of Johnny's female costar, Amber Heard. I think Amber is really pretty on her own, but in these photos she's giving me Scarlett Johansson vibes. Right? The dress is Elie Saab, and it's very pretty - nay, stunning - on her. My only quibble is with her hair - it's too blonde, and there should be some roots or low-lights, because these extreme blonde is washing her out.

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And here's some Aaron Eckhart. He looks great.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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