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- Lindsay Lohan’s PR Rep Responds To Meth-Mouth-Gate
- Questionable Choices: Kim Kardashian’s Burka Shopping In Dubai
- This Photo Of Kurt Cameron Celebrating His Birthday Makes Me Sad
- Jersey Shore Field Notes: Nobody Likes The Situation
- Fred Durst To Star In A Sitcom Called ‘Douchebag’ (No, Really!)
- Am I Right Ladies? Spanx, But No Spanx
- Ryan Gosling’s Unconventional Transition From Creepy Roles To Leading Man
- Video: Watch A Clip From Gus Van Sant’s Restless
- Cutegreggator: Anne Geddes Babies Dressed Up As Food
- Penn Badgley Knows Nothing About How Gossip Girl Works Because He Thinks Blair And Dan Are Soulmates
| Lindsay Lohan’s PR Rep Responds To Meth-Mouth-Gate Posted: 14 Oct 2011 10:45 AM PDT
When I posted yesterday about the methy-looking photos of Lindsay Lohan currently circulating around the Internet, I figured it would only take her people a little while to either claim the photos were doctored, or issue a bitchy non-response. (Or tell us she’s going back to rehab, ha ha, no but seriously, she probably should.) With the help of the above headline, can you guess which of these things has already happened? That’s right, they’ve issued a bitchy non-response! How did you get so clever? Here is what Lindsay’s rep Steve Honig told People:
Hmm. By that logic, with everything else that’s going on in the world right now, “there is no way” Mr. Honig should be working as a PR rep for Lindsay Lohan at all. He should be down at Occupy Wall Street fighting for economic justice, or helping inner city kids learn to read, or maybe passing out food, medicine and condoms in sub-Saharan Africa. But seeing as he’s not doing any of those things, it seems a bit hypocritical for him to use that as an excuse. A simple “no comment” without the heaping side of logical fallacies would have sufficed, without making him look like a self-righteous idiot in the process. Then again, this is Lindsay Lohan’s PR rep we’re talking about, a man for whom representing, say, Macaulay Culkin would constitute a huge step up. (Via People) Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Questionable Choices: Kim Kardashian’s Burka Shopping In Dubai Posted: 14 Oct 2011 10:33 AM PDT
We’re not so much calling into question Kim Kardashian‘s decision to don a burka while traveling through Dubai. That’s a political issue, and while there are many who consider the garments to literally restrict women’s rights, it is tradition, so Kim was being respectful by donning one on her visit. (Obviously it wasn’t law, as there are plenty of women pictured who just wear head coverings.) What we’re not so sure about is Kim and mom Kris Jenner taking photos of each other trying on burkas and posing for the paparazzi cameras as if they were out on a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive. That just seems a bit insensitive? (Then again, I’m the person who wants to wear the rosary I got for First Communion as a necklace.) Both women ended up buying burkas and even wearing them out of the store. And I don’t know, but it seemed more like they were excited to pick up a new fashion accessory than to get in touch with the local culture. But maybe I’m totally reading this wrong—what do you guys think? Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| This Photo Of Kurt Cameron Celebrating His Birthday Makes Me Sad Posted: 14 Oct 2011 10:29 AM PDT
I wonder what he’s wishing for here. Probably a better birthday party and a six-inch from Quiznos. (via BuzzFeed) Post from: Crushable |
| Jersey Shore Field Notes: Nobody Likes The Situation Posted: 14 Oct 2011 10:00 AM PDT
3:00 – Deena expresses her desire to copulate with Pauly. She does this in the very subtle and sophisticated manner of saying, "I want to fuck you." 4:00 – Snooki and JWOWW crawl into bed, sick. The other specimens leave for the club. 5:00 – Pauly expresses his desire to select a copulation mate at the club so he can avoid the attentions of Deena. 5:30 – A girl touches Pauly's hair. He views this as an invitation to ask her to come home with him. 6:00 – The girl declines Pauly's invitation, via an R.S.V.P. card, in her finest calligraphy. 7:00 –Once more, Deena asks Pauly if he would like to have sex. He declines because he doesn't want to ruin their friendship. (Translation: Doesn't find Deena attractive enough to get an erection.) 8:00 – Deena insists to Pauly that she is good at copulation. (Diagnosis: Consistent masturbator.) 11:00 – Deena awakes and begins an early morning discussion about how much she misses penis. 12:00 – Snooki and Deena head out for breakfast. They find a nice cozy café and dance on the counter. (Note: They ruin everything.) 15:00 – Snooki and Deena stumble out of the club totally intoxicated. 15:30 – Back at the house, Snooki and Deena get ready to go out and drink more. Deena borrows a pair of Snooki's underwear. (Note: Ew.) 16:00 – Our specimens arrive at a huge outdoor club. Snooki and Deena immediately find the nearest table and dance atop it. 17:30 – The Situation walks around the club, preening and puffing out his chest. In response, the crowd insults him, calling him a "piece of shit." (Italian for "American.") 18:00 – Sitch yells at the crows. The crowd yells back. Our other male specimens jump into the fray. 22:00 – A riot is about to break out. The Situation yells at the crows some more and threatens to eat them. (Diagnosis: keen survival skills.) 23:00 – Our specimens leave the club. Everyone but Deena and Snooki heads home. 24:00 – Deena and Snooki head to another club. It appears to be a rave of sorts. Men gather around them as they dance. 25:00 – Snooki and Deena head to the bar where they are pelted with ice, thrown by the bartender. Snooki smashes bottles. 26:00 – A bartender lifts the girls up and deposits them outside of the club. 29:00 – Deena comes home screaming about the bartender. She expresses the emotion of anger. 30:00 – Deena and Snooki get into the hot tub. Deena pees in it. (Note: she is wearing Snooki's underwear.) 31:00 – The sun rises over the beautiful city of Florence. Snooki and Deena are still awake, so they decide to go out again, dressed, in their words, "like hookers." 32:00 – The girls order drinks at breakfast. 33:00 – The girls fall asleep at breakfast. 33:00 – They return home. Snooki tries to get into bed and falls down onto the ground. (Diagnosis: Snooki is yearning for her primitive roots.) 33:30 – The men try to barbeque. Set the grill on fire. Ronnie sets the grill on fire. 35:00 – JWOWW asks Deena to do the dishes. She refuses. Sitch yells at her and tells her to, "be a woman and do something." 35:30 – Deena throws a knife at Situation. 41:00 – Jenni and Deena cook a meal together in a rare display of female bonding. 42:00 – The specimens sit down to dinner, in chairs, like civilized humans. They toast to getting back to new Jersey. 43:00 – Our specimens begin to argue about who will take what room in their Jersey house. Sam talks about finding “comprimisation.” (Diagnosis: Sam has picked up Italian!) 44:00 – No one wants to room with Sitch. 44:30 – Sitch says he might not be going back to Jersey, anyway. 49:00 – Vinny confronts Situation and lets him know he either has to change his ways or get out of the house. (Diagnosis: Politics.) 50:00 – The next morning, Sitch gets locked in the bathroom. He manages to escape in time to go out to the club, where he pouts in the corner because nobody likes him. (Note: Congratulations, Situation, on your culmination from fifth grade! Here’s a shot of limoncello.) Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Fred Durst To Star In A Sitcom Called ‘Douchebag’ (No, Really!) Posted: 14 Oct 2011 09:16 AM PDT
While you were leaving the nineties behind, moving to the city, and getting into God Speed You! Black Emperor or whatever, Fred Durst, he did it all for the nookie, was still back there chugga-wugging along, giving voice to angry suburban bros everywhere. They are making more of them every day! (Actually, he took a little break to work in film, but nobody cares about that.) So it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that Durst has been granted entry into that essential hallmark of American mass culture, the network sitcom. He has just signed a deal with CBS to both produce and star in a half-hour “comedy,” aptly titled Douchebag. Via Deadline:
I hope it goes better than Durst’s real life marriage. At least it’s not a reality show? (Via Spin.com) Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Am I Right Ladies? Spanx, But No Spanx Posted: 14 Oct 2011 08:52 AM PDT
Which brings me to Spanx, the body-shaping enterprise that is helping women stunt circulation all over their otherwise imperfect bodies. Even the name implies corporeal punishment. Spank your body into the shape you want while spanking your respiratory system into submission. Sign me up, amirightladies? You see, while these elastic corsets primarily function as deep-breathing inhibitors, they also help women hide and tuck their elastic skin. All the sociological and emotional damage of plastic surgery, without having to go under the knife! Is anyone getting on that signing-me-up thing yet? Spanx are like control-top panties on steroids, and they’ve thought of everything. There’s a product for every part of your body you hate. Now you can stuff every insecurity into a Lycra sausage casing that creates a constant feeling of pressure on the embarrassing area all night while giving the illusion that it has completely disappeared. In other words, Spanx turns every woman into a magician. Okay, I’ll sign myself up. I already have the top hat and cape. The site even promises that “celebs aren’t the only skinny bitches anymore.” That’s right, Spanx also turns everyday women into bitches! Oh, the nights I’ve spent fantasizing about walking into a party filled with 40 of my closest top-hat-and-cape-wearing girlfriends and shouting, “Let’s get this party started, bitches!” and then woken up with my cat licking my face. Sometimes reality feels like warm sandpaper, amirightladies? And if one layer of containment isn’t enough, they offer sheer, light-weight options so you can literally wear Spanx to slim down your Spanx. The future is now, girls. And how can you hate a company that is great at puns? Answer: You can’t. Example: The Bra-lellujah. Kiss the back-fat spillover you didn’t even know you had goodbye. Slim Cognito. Skinny Britches. Trust Your Thin-stincts. Slimplicity. Haute Contour. Ready-to-wear puns. These bitches are good. The most important thing is to remember skinny is just a state of mind—a state of mind to which all women should aspire. Acceptance is so last never. Today it’s about control, ladies. Specifically, your ability to breathe. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Ryan Gosling’s Unconventional Transition From Creepy Roles To Leading Man Posted: 14 Oct 2011 08:49 AM PDT
My sister will always say that she “called” Ryan Gosling—that she knew he’d be a star from the moment she saw him on Young Hercules. Though he did start out as the young half-god, the first movies for which he became known had him playing a manipulative psychopath (Murder by Numbers), an Orthodox-Jew-turned-neo-Nazi (The Believer), and a disturbed young man who kills a mentally retarded boy (The United States of Leland). His self-assessment, then, makes a ton of sense; casting directors all seemed compelled to put him in roles where he’s frustrated with the constraints of the world and lashes out against them in violent ways. And yet, even in his darkest roles, he still exerts enough charisma that we want to find out what went on to turn him so bad. It was an incredibly savvy career move: His first buzz was about his performances, and then he had the option to get cast for other movies based on his good looks. Because a year after Leland, along came The Notebook, where he played that same melancholy, though with a lot less depth. That’s not to say all of his leading-man roles have been as shallow; he was fantastic as a commitment-phobe playboy in Crazy, Stupid, Love, and of course as the young lover who transforms into a fat, unfulfilled loser in Blue Valentine. Obviously the star (and “hey girl” meme inspiration) has grown into his sexiness, but he’s got the kind of good looks where it’s perfectly reasonable to think that underneath that pretty face he may not be entirely sane. Like Christian Bale in American Psycho. Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Video: Watch A Clip From Gus Van Sant’s Restless Posted: 14 Oct 2011 08:14 AM PDT Restless is an new coming-of-age flick from Gus Van Sant that stars Mia Wasikowska and Harry Hopper, the handsome son of Dennis Hopper. In classic coming-of-age style, this clip shows us a pair of socially awkward kids bonding over a sketchbook. Probably there will also be narration! The film hasn’t gotten the best reviews, but Mia Wasikowska (whom I fell for in The Kids Are All Right) is immensely talented and Henry Hopper has a fantastic set of cheekbones, so it might be worth a watch (via Deadline) Post from: Crushable |
| Cutegreggator: Anne Geddes Babies Dressed Up As Food Posted: 14 Oct 2011 07:39 AM PDT
Anne Geddes is a national treasure and her photos of babies dressed up as food is her greatest contribution to humanity. It’s like, these babies are so cute, but they’re dressed up as food. Which is for eating. And not decorating that desk calendar you stuck in the corner of your office and never managed to get past “January.” Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
| Penn Badgley Knows Nothing About How Gossip Girl Works Because He Thinks Blair And Dan Are Soulmates Posted: 14 Oct 2011 07:19 AM PDT
Wrong! Wrong wrong wrong. Let me get up on my purist soapbox for a minute. Dan/Blair, or “Dair,” is not actually a thing because it never happened in Cecily von Ziegesar‘s books. Early in the first or second season of The CW’s Gossip Girl show, it became clear that the writers were deviating from the books and would have to come up with flashier, sexier plotlines. But this was the last piece of sacred ground left unclaimed! A big part of this was that in the books, Dan was a creep. He’s skinny, perpetually wired on caffeine and smoking a cigarette, and prone to delusions of grandeur. He stalks more than goes out with girls and is always sabotaging his relationships of any kind. He and Blair almost never cross paths except when he very briefly dates Serena — yep, it’s not a seasons-long drama like on the show — and so she doesn’t think much of him. The TV show’s choice to have Blair actively look down her nose at Dan and snark about his poorness was a hilarious addition, but that’s where their interactions should have stopped. Now they’re kissing, and they probably had sex… It just mocks Blair’s character. It was OK for Blake Lively to get swept up in young love with Dan because Serena is stupid and will entertain any guy who falls in love with her for a little while. On the other hand, Blair is unapologetically conceited and upper-class. In the books, Blair does end up “slumming it” with a Brooklynite… but that’s Vanessa, who briefly becomes Blair’s roommate. Their tenuous friendship is really fun to read because it seemed like a natural progression in the books (it comes in the last third of the series), and not a desperate, last-ditch pairing like on the TV show. The main difference here is that a lot of the romance’s development is based on the actors’ chemistry. The Gossip Girl producers have said that they first noticed Dan and Blair’s chemistry in a season 1 episode. Furthermore, Leighton agrees with Penn that their characters fit well together: “I like that friendship… I think they’re good for each other in a lot of ways, in a way that Chuck and Blair aren’t.” Still, you have to respect the story above which actors happen to look pretty together. Then again, I just discovered that the ninth, tenth, and eleventh (last) books were ghostwritten, so that just stabbed my faith in Cecily’s vision for the series. But I still believe! Related posts: Post from: Crushable |
Look, I know he took his success in the public eye and used it to proselytize Evangelism on TV alongside a mustachioed man named Ray Comfort. I know he doesn’t believe in evolution and thinks that the banana is evidence of Intelligent Design. But no one — not even Kirk Cameron — deserves to spend his birthday with a cheap grocery store bundt cake, two bored coworkers, and a couple Spicy Italians on wheat.
(By an anthropologist)
Breathing is the worst, amirightladies? That’s why we have “body shapers,” to ensure that going out on the town means 70% the O2. I’m not saying oxygen makes you fat, but I’m not not saying it. Water isn’t the only natural element that causes bloat. After all, there’s an O in H2O. You do the math. Or the chemistry.
At first when Ryan Gosling said that he’s a weird-looking guy, we brushed it off as his usual self-deprecating nature. But then we really thought about it, especially considering that all of his early roles were some sort of villain or undesirable antihero. It came out of an interview he did with 
For someone who doesn’t consider Gossip Girl his “driving passionate force in life,” Penn Badgley sure is opinionated about it! Other actors might brush off questions about their characters’ love lives and soulmates, but when the interviewer asked him who his character Dan Humphrey is meant to be with, | You are subscribed to email updates from Crushable To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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