Friday, March 2, 2012

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy


Lindsay Lohan through the years: the unnatural evolution of her 3.0 face

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 09:00 AM PST


It’s been clear during Lindsay’s big SNL “comeback” lead-up (we’ll see) that she had a fresh round of fillers and work done to her face. She looks like a chipmunk, and she’s beginning to resemble Janice from the Muppets with her new ridiculously long wig. Kaiser already mentioned Lindsay’s latest nose job and the fact that everyone is noticing that she has too many fillers in her face. So we sort-of already covered this, but I think it was worth its own post for the photos. Radar also has a bunch of quotes from a plastic surgeon about the obvious work Lindsay’s had done, and it’s hilariously bitchy. Particularly the part about how she looks like a chipmunk and how “hard living” has affected her looks. Here’s some of Radar’s report:

Lindsay Lohan claims that she has kissed goodbye to her hard partying habits, but the troubled actress looked far from wholesome and natural on Wednesday night, prompting speculation from an expert that she has substituted an alcohol and drug addiction for a plastic surgery addiction.

“Unfortunately it looks like it,” celebrity plastic surgeon Dr. Anthony Youn, who has not treated the 25-year-old star, told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview.

“She appears to have a classic, over-plumped pillow face. Her cheeks look like she’s storing nuts for the winter. I suspect that she’s undergone multiple injections of filler like Sculptra or Restylane,” he explained.

“While these treatments can create a very youthful, natural look, when overdone they can make a person look like a Cabbage Patch Doll.”

It’s not the first time Dr. Youn has commented on the Mean Girls star’s appearance recently. Just last month he voiced concern that she was going overboard with plastic surgery treatments.

"I suspect that hard living combined with some plastic surgery is causing her to look virtually unrecognizable," he revealed.

"Her lips look plumped and stiff, possibly from injections of Restylane. Her forehead is also excessively smooth, consistent with injections of Botox or Dysport."

[From Radar]

This is what addiction does to a person, and I’m talking about serious drug addiction, not plastic surgery addiction, although obviously that’s played into this situation. Drugs change someone’s personality and they mess with their appearance. Lindsay’s situation is not as dramatic as “faces of meth,” but there are parallels here.

Remember, this woman is 25! I had to look it up to remind myself, and I’ve been writing about her for years. Holy crap. She looks like she’s at least 40.

2003, Original nose:

2004:

2005:

2006:

2007:

2008:

2009:

2010:

2011:

January 2012, Yet another nose, fillers, drugs, etc.

2012: even more fillers:

photo credit: PRPhotos, Fame Pictures, WENN.com

Kristen Stewart flashes her bra in Paris: does she look strung out, or just tired?

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 08:52 AM PST

Just take this as further evidence that it's a slow post-Oscars gossip day. Here are even more photos of Kristen Stewart in Paris, where she's grimly fulfilling her (likely) million-dollar contract with Balenciaga by appearing at the runway show and showing up to various events. I covered some of the photos yesterday, from outside of the show, where Kristen posed for photos in a bad blouse and killer leather pants. Today, I'm including some shots of Kristen sitting front row at the Balenciaga show, with Salma Hayek and Charlotte Gainsbourg. Can I tell you how much I love this photo of Kristen fully taking in the effortless coolness of Charlotte Gainsbourg?

Yes, Kristen. This is what you were attempting. And this is what you fail to be.

I like this photo because I think that once Kristen got inside, she was handled by some professional makeup and hair people, and in just a few minutes, everything looked so much better:

This is just a great pic. I love how small Kristen looks here – she and Salma are almost the same height! K-Stew is super-tiny.

And these are just photos from another, post-Balenciaga outing that Kristen did in Paris. I think she was going out to lunch or something. She looks kind of strung out to me, but I'd be willing to bet she simply isn't wearing makeup, and maybe she's jet-lagged or she was up partying. What's more interesting than that, though, is the outfit. This is her natural style – see-through shirt, skinny jeans, leather jacket, flats. Now… I'll defend her right to dress like a tomboy. I'm fine with it. But I also feel like this is an outfit that Kristen put together with a lot of thought, only she wanted to look like she just threw it on. That's just my opinion of her – she wants people to think that she's simply a nervous, shy, hipster girl who doesn't care. But it's all for effect. Especially considering she's now the "face" of a major fashion label and all of this is "work" for her.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
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Has Russell Brand fallen under the spell of Guru Singh, a possible scam artist?

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 08:13 AM PST

There’s some part of me that realizes that Russell Brand is a womanizing cad at heart. Yet I’ve read his books, so I still feel for the guy after he’s successfully fought his demons of addiction and continues to struggle with them on an at-least daily basis. Yoga seems like a very good fit for Russell in theory, and I sort of speak from experience minus the addictions. Before I was a mother, I used to squeeze in at least an hour (sometimes two) of practice before heading off to work every morning. I wasn’t an expert by any means, but I was proud to have mastered the first few series of Ashtanga and had progressed to the third. There was nothing quite like accomplishing 100 sun salutations before the sun even rose, and it made me feel great inside and out. I really miss it but can’t manage that kind of practice any more and have swapped out yoga for gym runs.

Anyway, I can see why Russell has quickly become a yoga aficionado. He’s practiced for years, but ever since he left the Lonely in London scene and returned to California, Russell has fully immersed himself in the quasi-lifestyle and made twice daily trips to the studio where he practices. This week’s In Touch runs with Russell’s apparent yoga obsession and has spoken to a source that says Russell is under the spell of his yoga teacher, Guru Singh. If I had to judge by Russell’s increasingly flamboyent studio-bound attire (the Mail has compared the new look to Mike Myer’s Love Guru), this theory is not beyond the realm of possibility:

Uh-oh! Friends fear yoga devotee Russell Brand has become “addicted” to his mentor, Guru Singh. “Russell seems to be completely under his influence,” one friend tells In Touch. “From where to live, what to buy, even who to marry.” Or divorce?

[From In Touch, print edition, March 12, 2012]

So who is this Guru Singh? Outwardly, he’s a third-generation yogi and master of Kundalini Yoga who has been described as a “yogi, teacher, writer, composer-musician, shaman, ordained minister, healer and family man.” He’s based in Los Angeles and sometimes teaches in India and London as well, and he has a YouTube channel that includes a video where he’ll teach you to be a flower. It is understood that he’s very into pomp and circumstance, and followers who flock to his classes are known to wear turbans while they move through their asanas. It seems a bit excessive, right?

Quite possibly, Guru Singh is completely harmless if slightly overbearing. However, there might be a more sinister side to him according to a former student who says that he doesn’t personally speak to any of his students unless they also “happen to attend private sound therapy sessions at his house for $100 per session.” This particular student began to grow worried when her own devotion to his classes made her feel that she’d “even drink poison coolaide [sic]” to please Singh even though she admits that his White Tantric Yoga classes are a scam and only designed to sell videos and merchandise. Here are a few photos of Singh in his various Guru capacities.

Look at this dude posing next to the Dalai Lama like he’s the Gwyneth Paltrow of West Hollywood yoga instructors. Yogi famewhore or just an enlightened shaman?

Whatever the case, I’m sure that Russell’s devotion to Guru Singh is nowhere near as dangerous as falling into the Scientology trap would be (and you know they’ve probably tried to recruit him by now). So Russell’s probably spending a ton of money on “enlightenment,” but at least it doesn’t seem harmful unless he pulls a groin muscle or something. Quite simply, he’s the pervert yogi who drives a black Range Rover.

Meanwhile, Russell is still hooking up with fellow yogi Oriela, whose mom has spoken to Star magazine (thanks, mom!) about how much she adores Russell even though it sounds like they’ve never met:

Russell Brand is A-OK with his new flame’s mom! Katy Perry’s ex, 36, and artist Oriela Medellin Amieiro, 25, have yet to confirm that they’re dating. But her mother gives the romance a thumbs-up. “He looks like a nice guy,” Wanda Amieiro tells Star. The pair’s passion for yoga — they met in a Kundalini class — is promising. Wanda adds, “It’s a ‘feeling’ type of yoga. If he’s doing that, he’s a good person.” But he’s also playing the field. On Feb 22, Russell arrived at yoga class with another babe!

[From Star, print edition, March 12, 2012]

Again, another media outlet gets it wrong about Russell stepping out with “another babe.” Just like Fame Pictures misidentified Russell’s companion as well when it was merely Oriela without makeup. He seems semi-serious with this woman, but I doubt they’ll be walking down the aisle together. And of course her mother likes him, for Oriela is an aspiring (dreadful) actress and could really use Russell’s Hollywood connections.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN, and GuruSingh.com

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The Queen is not amused by Duchess Kate’s “laziness” and vanity

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 08:12 AM PST

This In Touch Weekly story gave me an enormous amount of pleasure. Not that I'm cosigning it, and not that I think it's 100% genuine, but I just enjoy that the tabloids are playing catch-up on the fact that Duchess Kate is much less than the sum of her propaganda. In Touch's "royal sources" claim that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, thinks Kate is rather dull. And lazy. And dumb. And vain. This actually isn't the first time we've heard about the Queen's questioning of Kate's work ethic – it was widely reported (by legit and tabloid sources) that several years before William proposed to Kate, the Queen wanted to know if Kate was ever going to get a real job. The Queen thought it was unbecoming for a young, unmarried woman to simply spent her 20s waiting around for a prince. And now that Kate has married into "The Firm," the Queen is still wondering, "Seriously, is this woman ever going to do anything?"

As if it wasn't bad enough to be called Waity Katie for eight years, poor Kate Middleton is now known in the royal inner circle as Duchess of Dolittle! Though Kate has appeared at dozens of charity events since marrying Prince William last April, that's not good enough for Queen Elizabeth II, who's been complaining of her "laziness," a royal source reveals.

Stuck at home while William is in the Falklands, Kate is under pressure to be more like Princess Diana.

A source says, "The Queen maintains a full schedule of events," and huffs that Kate isn't doing the same.

Some of the other complaints?

"She doesn't get out enough!" – In less than a year, Kate has made 35 appearances at charity events, but that's nothing to the Queen, who recalls Princess Diana's superhuman efforts as a new royal – 170 engagements in a year!

"She's much too vain!" – With all eyes on Kate – and women all over Britain copying her famous hairstyle – she is under tremendous pressure to look her best. Indeed, a royal source shares that she spends four to five hours getting her hair cut and styled.

"She spends too much money!" – Kate caused a stir when she shoed up at a charity event carrying a $1,300 Mulberry bag, and often wears expensive clothes during her few charitable outings.

"She isn't very bright." During a viewing of her wedding dress at Buckingham Palace with the Queen, Kate raised royal eyebrows when she asked if priceless antique Faberge eggs were still being made. An uninformed statement for an art history major. Still, Kate will be the first queen to have graduated college!

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Basically, the Queen and I are the same person. We have the same complaints, only mine are centered mostly on how Kate prioritizes shopping and salon appointments much more than any royal duty. And of course, I've been calling Kate "hilariously lazy" for years. It's true – she is. Sigh… I wish I could hang out with Liz and the corgis. We could Mean-Girl the Duchess of Dolittle. "OMG, her eyeliner," I would say to the Queen. "Quite right. She needs to get off 'er arse!" the Queen replies.

And before The Duchess Patrol comes and cries about how Kate is STILL LEARNING, etc, let me just say – sure. I do believe she's still learning. As I've said, there's a learning curve for new royalty, and I do applaud her for not making any major (or even minor) fumbles when she does do an event. But there are two big issues: one, she isn't doing enough events. At all. Because she's lazy. And two, Kate is kind of vapid. I mean… William married her, and she does seem like a "nice" girl, but she's not some bright, shining, independent role model. She just… waited. She’s patient. And dull. As we were discussing in the earlier post, when Kate speaks, it's not like she's ever blowing people away with her insightful comments or sparkling wit. She says things like, "I love chocolate. I think all girls like chocolate" and admitting that she doesn't know how to make a cup of tea. And of course, there's this video which highlights her lack of… something. Lack of preparation. Lack of concern. Lack of interest. Lack of ability to do anything but stutter talking points.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN and PCN.
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Justin Theroux’s Shane Warne-like makeover is disturbing everybody

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 06:42 AM PST

For months, the most recent photos we had of Justin Theroux were from last September and October. It was obvious at that point that he was getting a makeover from his girlfriend – gone was the burly, unkempt beard, gone was decade-old hipster uniform. I do think the change was gradual – Jennifer encouraged him to dress better, while still holding on to his leather jacket, his motorcycle boots and his skinny jeans. And then when it came time for the Wanderlust promotional tour, suddenly Justin was barely recognizable – suddenly he was Shane Warne'd. He was hyper-groomed, fake-tanned, teeth-whitened and curiously bangs'd. Jennifer remade him like Justin was her personal Ken doll. And he seemed happy with the transformation too, judging from his appearance on Ellen – he played it all up, and he seems genuinely game for "The Jen and Justin Show". So what does it all mean?

He was at the Hollywood Walk of Fame to watch his girlfriend get her star, but as a clean-shaven, suit-wearing Justin Theroux beamed alongside Jennifer Aniston's father, it was his shocking transformation that took center stage.

"He even looked glowy – like he'd just had a facial," marvels an onlooker of the onetime bearded hipster, who only months ago was known for avoiding the spotlight like the plague.

After moping about the attention at first, Justin has clearly embraced Jen's Hollywood liftstyle. Plugging their film Wanderlust, the actor – who'd never been on a talk show before – has laughed it up with Jimmy Kimmel and even break-danced on Ellen.

"He seemed happy to be there," shares a witness.

But while Jen is no doubt happy too, she should know that Justin may have ulterior motives. Since they hooked up, Theroux has been signed by Jen's agents at CAA, and his asking price has gone up from $10 million per movie. Hope it's not fame – instead of Jen – that is his true love.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

I love how In Touch Weekly is like, "Jennifer probably doesn't know this, but Justin totally signed on to CAA and now his asking price has gone up!" Please. THAT was part of their deal. That's part of the deal when you sign on to be Aniston's boyfriend – you're signing on to be managed (and micro-managed) by CAA. As for the asking price – while that's been wildly reported before, I doubt it still holds. Not after his bangsy, orange appearance during the Wanderlust promotion, and not after Wanderlust opened with… $6.6 million. Your asking price can’t be more than opening weekend. Rough.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
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Gabriel Aubry thinks Halle Berry is ‘desperate, impatient,’ is he writing a tell all?

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 06:40 AM PST


Yesterday we covered the news of Halle Berry switching lawyers in an attempt to get the judge in her custody battle to grant her request to move to France, thus cutting her ex off from their daughter by default. I mentioned that I was awaiting Gabriel’s response in Radar, and that I thought he had stooped to Halle’s level. A lot of you took me to task for that, which is fair. Gabriel is only responding to some incredibly strong-arm tactics to separate him from his daughter. The thing that kind of soured me on Gabriel is an earlier story in Radar, after he was investigated for battery and interviewed by CFS, that he felt like he was living “in a police state.” He may have been unfairly targeted in that instance, and maybe the nanny was acting under instruction from Halle, but the whole thing didn’t sit right with me. I just seemed like both parties were in the wrong. Well now we have Gabriel’s inevitable response to Halle Berry’s lawyer switch. He says that this latest move by Halle to get a ruthless lawyer may backfire on her. I hope he’s right. Here’s some of the report from Radar, with more at the source:

Halle Berry’s decision to dump her long time trusted and respected attorney, Neil Hersh, for legal pitbull, Stephen Kolodny, in her ongoing custody battle with Gabriel Aubry over their daughter Nahla, isn’t fazing the Canadian model and he feels this could actually help his case, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

Halle was unhappy that the family law judge hasn’t made a ruling about her request to move to France," an insider told RadarOnline.com. "The judge has indicated that more time is needed and more information needs to be gathered before a ruling is made. This wasn’t good enough for Halle, in Gabe’s opinion, so she fired Neil Hersh, who is greatly respected, and hired Stephen Kolodny because he is known as a bulldozer.

"Neither Gabe nor his lawyer are scared or intimidated by Stephen. Gabe thinks this will help his case, because he thinks it shows how desperate and impatient she is. He doesn't believe either that Halle is afraid for her safety, when was the last time you saw her taking Nahla to school with a bodyguard? He believes it’s just another plot she is hatching to keep Gabriel out of Nahla’s life."

A formal ruling on Halle’s request to move to France could take up to a year, meanwhile, Gabriel is doing everything he can to be the best parent possible and to spend as much time as he is permitted with his daughter.

"Gabe's attending his court ordered anger management sessions and parenting classes," the source says. "He isn’t a bad guy, he is trying to be the best dad possible to Nahla. He feels that Nahla is the collateral damage in all of this, and that breaks his heart."

[From Radar]

I buy that Gabriel is a good dad, but I also buy that he could benefit from anger management courses, and I’m glad he’s complying with the court order. All in all, this is a convincing story by Gabriel’s side, and I hope that he’s right that Halle will get shut down in court. If it takes a whole year before the judge will rule on her request to move to France she’ll probably be broken up with Oliver Martinez by then anyway. Where is she going to move then, and what will her excuse be? Sure she fears the paparazzi, but she could move an hour or two from L.A. and have a lot more privacy. Or, as many of you have mentioned, she could also just move to a gated community or get more security. Problem solved.

After I wrote all that, another story came out in Radar about how “Gabriel is being urged to write a no-holds barred book about what his relationship with Halle was really about.” He swears he’s not going to write it, but he’s putting it out there very strongly anyway. This pretty much solidifies my earlier opinion of him. Someone needs to take the high road and he’s not doing it! He could have left it with the earlier story, which I thought sounded too mature for him. Here’s part of Radar’s story.

"Gabriel is being urged to write a no-holds barred book about what his relationship with Halle was really about," a source close to the situation tells radarOnline.com. "From what I can tell, Halle has to be in control at all times, period. It’s the reason that they broke up, because he just couldn’t handle being under her thumb like that. Gabe feels that relationships are about treating each other equally, but in it seems that in Halle’s romantic relationships, this isn’t the case.

"Gabe’s friends want the world to know the real Halle Berry. However, Gabriel has had many offers to write books and give interviews in exchange for a big payday, but he has turned them all down. One day, Nahla is going to be old enough to understand what was going on between her parents, and he wants to be able to look his daughter in the eye, and say everything he has done, has been for her. Writing a book would be a great way to get back at Halle, but what would that get him? Gabe always thinks of his daughter when making any decision. Halle should count her lucky stars that her ex is being a gentleman, especially under these circumstances."

[From Radar]

Gabriel needs to just STOP. We get it, Halle is manipulative and controlling. And he’s petty and whiny. There’s legitimately defending yourself and there’s being threatening and passive aggressive. At least he’s not actually writing a tell all. Time will tell though, because it sounds like he’s really considering it and is trying to use it as leverage.

Gabe and Nahla are shown at the zoo on 2/19/12 and outside her school on 2/28/12. He’s doing a lot of photo ops. Halle and Nahla are shown on 2/26/12. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Rihanna to Miranda Lambert: stop talking smack about Chris Brown

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 05:57 AM PST


After the Grammy Awards, country singer Miranda Lambert tweeted some anti-Chris Brown messages meant to bring attention to the fact that he’s an abuser and shouldn’t have been give two chances to perform at their industry’s most prestigious awards event. Miranda later brought up Chris’ name again in a concert before she sang a song about a woman shooting her abuser. She held up a sign that said “Take Notes Chris Brown.” Well none of this supposedly sat well with Chris’ sort-of on-again ex, Rihanna, the abuse victim. Rihanna allegedly got Miranda’s phone number, called her up and told her to mind her own business.

The claws are out between country music cutie Miranda Lambert and R&B sensation Rihanna!…

Sources say Rihanna, 24, flew into a rage when she heard about Miranda’s tweets attacking [Chris].

“Rihanna got Miranda’s phone number from a mutual acquaintance,” an insider revealed. “She told Rihanna to worry about her own relationship because her husband is known for his wandering eye.”

“Rihanna has moved on since her relationship with Chris,” added the insider. “She believes that if she can let it go, considering she was the victim, others need to move forward also.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 12, 2012]

This could just be a clever way for The Enquirer to squeeze a new angle out of this story, but the fact that they add the detail that Rihanna actually called Miranda makes me think it’s true. You can imagine Rihanna telling another woman to mind her own business, especially since she’s probably sleeping with Chris again. But does Rihanna even know that Blake Shelton is supposedly a cheater? The Enquirer has been running stories about him for a while, but they’re not getting a lot of press so who knows if this is true.

That last line in the story about how people should forgive the perp because the victim does doesn’t sit well with me. That’s not how the justice system works, and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone, particularly future victims, if it did. Just because someone forgives an abuser (or a rapist, etc.) doesn’t mean that they’ve changed their ways, or that they shouldn’t face the consequences for their crime. That includes having people talk smack about them, which seems an incredibly minor thing compared to what Chris did. It’s a shame Rihanna can’t see that.

Here’s Rihanna’s latest outfit in London yesterday. Leather mid-thigh boots, studded white shorts, a denim shirt and another denim shirt wrapped around her waist and tucked under her shorts. At least she’s consistent.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Katy Perry does Paris fashion week with her butt hanging out: avant garde or trashy?

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 05:47 AM PST

Somehow I doubt that when Lady Gaga said that mint would be big this spring that she was talking about this. Katy Perry is currently attending Paris Fashion Week and doesn’t look nearly as “incognito” as she did while shuffling through Heathrow a few days ago. Katy has also abandoned all pretenses of appearing tasteful and fresh as well. Instead, Katy stepped out on her way to the front rows of fashion while wearing a disastrous mint-colored Vera Wang number that left half her butt cheeks exposed for all to see.

Such a classy move, right? What’s even classier is that Katy is reportedly supporting Rihanna in her ongoing dance with death, i.e., getting back together with Chris Brown:

A source close to the newly divorced singer tells HollywoodLife.com that if Rihanna and Chris truly get back together, Katy will be happy for Rihanna!

Katy Perry, 27, only wants what's best for Rihanna. Reports have been swirling for several weeks that Rihanna and Chris Brown are trying to work things out, and if they do, her number one supporter will be Katy!

“Katy and Rihanna are best friends. Katy will support anything that Rihanna does,” a source tells us. “Rihanna has been there for Katy through everything and they want the other to be happy.”

We told you that Rihanna, 24, and Chris, 23, are spending a lot of time together outside of the studio.

“They love each other, pure and simple. Looks like this is the beginning of them getting back together,” a source says. “Some people around her aren’t happy and are trying to stop [the relationship], but it’s looking like it can’t be stopped.”

[From Hollywood Life]

I don’t see what would make Rihanna so “happy” about getting the hell beat out of her again, but I guess that’s what she wants, which is pretty dark stuff. In keeping with that theme, Katy has declared that her next album won’t be nearly as sugary as her usual fare and will be quite “dark” too.

Katy Perry has hinted the direction she’s going to take in her next studio installment. The singer, who’s known for her pop sugary anthems in the beginning of Teenage Dream, will do more exploration in the “dark” side instead of sticking on the “fun and vibrant” road.

“Well, my music is about get real f&#*ing dark,” the West Coast artist spilled in a recent chat with Kristen Wiig for the cover story of Interview magazine’s latest issue. “I’ll be shoe-gazing. You’ll never see my face because my hair is in my face.”

Perry said she would be back to her roots in the next album. “I am ready to make a new record and maybe try another approach artistically, and I will close the book on Teenage Dream soon. I just think that it’s time for me in some ways to show where I came from.”

Perry elaborated her vision as stating, “I’ve always just been me and my guitar; and I’m not saying I’m going to make that record, but I do want to get back to my roots. I’ve been changing my hair color too much!”

[From Ace Showbiz]

Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it. Katy simply can’t go “dark” and keep her target audience of tweens and dance recital teachers coming back. However, if she does start writing heavier, more depressing material, then maybe that’ll be the end of her #1 hits of which she has seven. Seven.

Anyway, this mint outfit is truly terrible. In addition to the butt-flashing problem, Katy’s massive rack looked about as uncontrolled as it did at the Grammys. She makes so many millions of dollars — can’t she afford a proper bra?

Update by Celebitchy: Here’s Katy Perry arriving at the “Maison Du Caviar Party” in Paris last night. The photo agency Fame writes that she was there with Karl Lagerfeld, so I’m assuming this trashy over-embellished too-short dress is Chanel. Bedhead is right, she has no idea what to do with her boobs.

Katy’s dark roots and blue hair combo continue to defy the laws of hair logic. I hope she’s actually serious about quitting the color-changing nonsense soon, but I won’t hold my breath.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

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Lindsay Lohan “is absolutely clear-headed and looks great,” sources say

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 04:39 AM PST

I'm still thinking about Lindsay Lohan's Today interview, which we talked about yesterday. My initial reactions were rage and disgust, and as the hours passed… I think I'm just feeling that LL is simply pathetic. I'm not sympathetic towards her at all, but in the scope of even trying to fact-check her crack-lie-extravaganza, I'll simply throw up my hands. She's just pathetic. But in her crack-mind, she's awesome. She thinks she's convincing us of her amazing comeback. She thinks we still believe she's super-talented and that she just needs to be given the chance (!!!) to win an Oscar. Is that "sad"? Or are you just thinking, "Meh. Same old crackie"?

What was equally disturbing about the Today interview was her obviously drugged-out, busted appearance, and how Matt Lauer did not call her out on any of the obvious subjects. Like, "Why do you look like that? What happened to your face? Does your voice sound like that because you were up all night guzzling vodka and chain-smoking?" Instead, Lauer made a point to say that LL looked "great". Haha. Meanwhile, even legit media outlets are talking about how awful the Cracken looks - Us Weekly ran a story a few days ago with the headline – no joke – "What Really Happened To Lindsay Lohan's Face?" Their answer: "Since she doesn’t appear to have gained weight, it’s likely that her fuller features are the result of facial fillers like Restylane or Juvederm. And that’s not the only dramatic change she’s sporting right now. Lohan recently added heavy, blunt bangs to her and extra-long extensions to her platinum hair." Yes, fillers and a bad wig. That's all, right? Oh, and in this week's In Touch Weekly, a plastic surgeon claims that LL has had a "shield graft" on her nose – you should just look at the before-and-after images of LL's nose.

So who is going to watch LL on tomorrow's Saturday Night Live? Will the ratings be any good? Will the writing be any good? Will LL be self-aware and make lots of jokes at her expense? How puffy will her face be? What's especially hilarious is that LL's rep, Steve Honig, has been working extra hard to provide lots of quotes to media outlets about how everybody at SNL loves the Cracken. He went on the record with Radar, saying: "Lindsay has been a longtime fan of Saturday Night Live and is incredibly excited to host the show and work with the amazing cast and writers." After that, an "insider" took over, and note how the wording still sounds like Honig: "Lindsay had been a little nervous about how the cast and crew would treat her. Lindsay arrived early for rehearsals on Tuesday, and was embraced warmly by everyone. Lindsay’s comedic timing is absolutely flawless. She is absolutely clear headed, and looks great." OMG. Why does everyone keep saying she looks great?!?!

UPDATE: The Cracken was on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night. I don’t… uh.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
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Natalie Portman flashes her wedding band repeatedly, she totally married Ballet K-Fed

Posted: 02 Mar 2012 04:13 AM PST

In the post-game analysis of the Oscars, several media outlets picked up on the fact that Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied seemed to be wearing wedding bands when they walked the Oscar red carpet. Benjamin and Natalie had been very quiet about their relationship – I think Natalie's only public statements about all of it were in the form of the pregnancy announcement in 2010 and her acceptance speeches during all of the awards shows last year. When Natalie gave birth to little Aleph, I actually thought to myself, "Hunh. I bet they got married very quietly because Natalie seems like the kind of girl who doesn't want to give birth 'out of wedlock'." Still, there was never a confirmation until everyone picked up on the "wedding bands" thing. And now Natalie's jeweler is speaking – and confirming the secret marriage?

While Natalie Portman remains mum on the status of her nuptials, she’s continuing to let her wedding rings speak for themselves.

The actress was spotted out and about in Los Angeles Wednesday sporting her dazzling engagement ring plus two platinum bands sandwiching the bauble.

The actress, 30, and her beau Benjamin Millepied, 34, caused a stir when they quietly debuted their wedding bands at Sunday’s Oscars — despite there being zero mention of a wedding for the couple, who announced they were engaged and expecting a child in December 2010.

On Tuesday, jeweler Jamie Wolf confirmed to Us Weekly that she was the designer behind the pair’s wedding bands.

Jewelry expert Michael O’Connor describes Portman’s new dazzling addition to Us: “In the 60′s and 70′s it was much more common to have two platinum wedding bands, one on either side of the engagement ring, so this style is more retro — making it an appropriate debut with Natalie’s vintage dress at the Academy Awards! Estimated price tag is $20,000 total for both of her bands.”

No further details on when or where the actress and dancer-choreographer tied the knot. Portman’s manager did not reply to requests for comment from Us. The pair fell in love while making Black Swan in 2010; they welcomed son Aleph in June of last year.

[From Us Weekly]

Is this how it's done these days? You announce your secret wedding via your jeweler? Anyway, since the Oscars, Natalie has been photographed several times in LA, and in every photo set, she's still wearing the "wedding band" plus a nice-sized diamond ring. Yeah… I think they're married. Do you think she got a pre-nup? I used to think she was so smart and worldly, but if she got hitched to her Ballet K-Fed without a prenup, I'll have some concerns.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
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