Cele|bitchy |
- Keira Knightley is engaged to her boyfriend of a year and a half, James Righton
- Nicole Kidman and a muttonchopped Clive Owen in Cannes: sexy or awful?
- Jennifer Aniston stopped being a boozehound, but she’s probably just stoned
- Kate Upton in tiered Louis Vuitton at amfAR gala: could anyone wear this dress?
- Rob Pattinson at the Cannes photocall for Cronenberg’s ‘Cosmopolis’: adorable?
- Britney Spears’s ‘X Factor’ rider includes Snickers, Diet Coke, bandage dresses
- Kirsten Dunst in Louis Vuitton at the amfAR gala: bumpy or just an unflattering gown?
- Duchess Kate is a “cold, dull, serious girl” claims new authorized biography
- Aishwarya Rai covers up her criticized figure at Cannes amfAR gala: still gorgeous?
- Lisa Marie Presley on CO$: “They were taking my soul, my money, my everything”
Keira Knightley is engaged to her boyfriend of a year and a half, James Righton Posted: 25 May 2012 08:47 AM PDT I always wonder about the girls (and boys) who are with a significant other for years and years without marrying, and then as soon as they break up, they jump into a new relationship and get engaged really quickly. So it is with Keira Knightley. She was with Rupert Friend for more than five years – they split up about a year and a half ago. Keira waited a hot minute, then jumped into a relationship with James Righton (some say there was overlap between James and Rupert). And now Keira and James are engaged! Congrats.
So did Keira want to marry Rupert and he just never got around to proposing, so Keira hit the road and found a dude who was the marrying kind? I have no idea. I had James pegged as Keira's rebound after a long, marriage-like relationship with Rupert, so I'm surprised that they're engaged now. Maybe it will be fine. Keira seems… more serious lately. Maybe she's a "grown up" now. Maybe she sees all of her friends getting married (Carey Mulligan) and having babies (Sienna Miller) and she wants that life too. PS… I still think Keira and Viggo Mortensen had an affair. |
Nicole Kidman and a muttonchopped Clive Owen in Cannes: sexy or awful? Posted: 25 May 2012 08:19 AM PDT I didn't know Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman would be promoting their HBO film, Hemingway & Gellhorn, at the Cannes Film Festival. But here they are at a photo call today – I'm guessing the film won't have a big premiere? Probably just a screening. Anyway, I need to ignore Nicole for a moment and focus on Clive Owen's MUTTONCHOPS. When does a sideburn become a muttonchop? This is the example that should be used. Granted, Clive is rocking his muttons for a film - Blood Ties. I think Mila Kunis plays his love interest, which is kind of gross (to me) because of the age difference. I'm also assuming Blood Ties is a period film – 1970s? Sure. Beyond L'Mutton, I guess Clive looks alright. He no longer has that eerie beauty of his youth, but I get the feeling that if he tried, if he got a haircut and took off the muttonchops, he would still be a very handsome man. I kind of hate the way he looks at Nicole. Clive just… smolders. Right? Do not smolder at Nicole, Clive!! As for Nicole… I'm still searching for the designer ID. I actually love this dress because it's a great silhouette for her, it's not the kind of dress she usually wears, and I love a good graphic print. However… I don't think her hair is doing her any favors here. And her face looks… well, she looks tired. Let's say it that way. She had a busy day yesterday promoting The Paperboy, so maybe she's just genuinely exhausted. |
Jennifer Aniston stopped being a boozehound, but she’s probably just stoned Posted: 25 May 2012 08:00 AM PDT Back in January, I slowly convinced myself that Jennifer Aniston was knocked up. The tabloids helped me out, of course, but I also found it odd that Aniston seemed to "disappear" (sort of) for several months, and in the very few shadowy paparazzi photos of her, it was almost like you could see a shadowy bump. Anyway, it turned out that Aniston was not pregnant and she actually thinks we're "very narrow-minded" for constantly concentrating on the state of her womb, especially when she metaphorically points to her womb repeatedly every time she promotes a movie. So Aniston has pulled another disappearing act over the past few months – I don't even remember the last time we had access to new photos of her. So, in lieu of actual, verifiable information about Aniston, the tabloids are just speculating once again that she's pregnant. In Touch Weekly is calling it this week – and their evidence includes Aniston guzzling carbs and non-alcoholic beer. *clutches booze pearls*
[From In Touch Weekly, print edition] First point: that sounds more like she was stoned and hungry rather than pregnant. Like she smoked a blunt and decided to devour a basket full of breadsticks and a whole pizza. Second point: I thought even diet soda was verboten when you're pregnant, correct? The baby/pregnancy sites basically say "Maybe you could have a diet soda, but try to avoid it." Third: from what I've heard, Justin Theroux is very, very clean-living. No drugs, barely any alcohol (if any). It's always weird to think that someone with his past drug issues (he used to be a hard drug user), who is now living a clean life, ends up with Aniston. She's a boozehound and probably a stoner too. Maybe she's trying to change. Or maybe she's pregnant, God knows. |
Kate Upton in tiered Louis Vuitton at amfAR gala: could anyone wear this dress? Posted: 25 May 2012 07:40 AM PDT When I think about Kate Upton, I have to remind myself that she’s just 19 years old. I keep assuming that she’s in her mid 20s like most of the other bikini and lingerie models on the scene. Along with being very young, she’s used to wearing next to nothing for her job all day. She’s modeling bikinis, not clothes. Still, I’ve been astonished at how poorly dressed and styled she’s been on the red carpet. This is a woman with a figure to die for and gorgeous face. It doesn’t take much to make her look like a million bucks. So here she is at the amfAR gala in tiered puffy Louis Vuitton with a black and blue ribbon criss-cross pattern. Um, I think I can see through the bottom part of the bodice to her foundation garments. Her bra is also peeping out of the top. Plus she’s paired it with very puffy hairstyle that seems to mirror the unwieldy skirt. You know what this reminds me of? One of those crochet toilet paper covers from the 70s. It’s just so bad. Even her shoes are unflattering. Get it together, girl. Paris Hilton was also there for some reason, trying to work a long white gown with a see through side panel and a diamond pattern along the front. In some of these photos, I see some humor, gratitude and humility in Paris’ eyes. It’s like she knows she’s no longer hot sh*t and is glad she’s at a big event and getting her photo taken. I like this side of her a lot. Then she falls back on her signature squinty haughty look and I see the same old Paris. Paris has overaccessorized with diamond and emerald earrings, a bracelet and a necklace. She should have gone with less jewelry. On Paris’ level we have British Formula One Heiress Tamara Ecclestone in a ridiculous tiny lace and rhinestone mullet dress. Look at the way the trail ruffles up at the waistline. The top is partially see-through and I think I see her nip. To top it off she wore her giant fake hair on the side, and paired the look with gladiator heels. If you’re not familiar with who this is, Tamara is the sister of Petra Ecclestone, who just bought Candy Spelling’s massive home. Tamara has a home in West London worth $70 million, and is a fameho in her own right. As a palette cleanser, let’s just have some Rodrigo Santoro. I’m usually not into scruffy guys, but he does it for me so much. Imagine this face peeping out the bathroom door, telling you he’s ready to go out. *sigh* photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet |
Rob Pattinson at the Cannes photocall for Cronenberg’s ‘Cosmopolis’: adorable? Posted: 25 May 2012 07:23 AM PDT Here’s Robert Pattinson and David Cronenberg at the Cannes photocall for Cosmopolis. Obviously and by casting Rob as the lead in this film, Cronenberg has a lot of faith in Rob, and I think they have a sweet vibe together. In the movie, Rob plays billionaire Eric Packer and will be clad in head-to-toe Gucci, but here his look is obviously much more casual. We’ll see how he cleans up on the red carpet for tonight’s premiere. As for Cronenberg, he is such a freak. He’s paired Nike New Balance shoes with a wrinkled suit and black t-shirt. That’s probably what I’d do if I were a dude, but I’d only look like a douchebag. Here Cronenberg gets away with it but only because he’s Cronenberg. Here’s Rob with his two leading ladies, Emily Hampshire and Sarah Gadon. They seem to get along quite well, but don’t worry, Kristen will probably on the red carpet this evening because Rob showed up for her On the Road premiere as well. Basically if she doesn’t show up, she’ll look bad. Out of the two ladies, I prefer Emily’s dress because it’s very “Mad Men” and something that I could see Joan Holloway wearing. In fact, that might have been part of the plan with this outfit. Sarah Gadon didn’t fare too badly either (even though her hair is a two-toned mess), and I’m very curious about the designer ID on this dress. She already wore a Jason Wu dress for her Antiviral photocall earlier this week, but I can’t put my finger on this one. (Update: It’s a Roland Mouret design.) From the back, the zipper detail reminds me a lot of Victoria Beckham’s work, but this is clearly not a Beckham design because it’s simply not ugly and geometric enough. Thankfully, Paul Giamatti showed up too. His role isn’t huge, but it’s a pivotal one. I wonder where Samantha Morton was — probably off somewhere being glorious on a film set. Photos courtesy of WENN |
Britney Spears’s ‘X Factor’ rider includes Snickers, Diet Coke, bandage dresses Posted: 25 May 2012 06:48 AM PDT These are some new photos of Britney Spears in Austin, Texas yesterday for The X-Factor tryouts or auditions or whatever. First, let me just say that I think Britney looks really good here – she looks healthy and "together". She doesn't have that "overwhelmed" look in her eye like she did during the Fox Upfronts. Hopefully, Us Weekly's heavily-sourced report (which I covered yesterday) is just a PR piece to lower expectations for Britney so she will meet or exceed what we think she's capable of. As for how Britney did in Austin, TMZ reported that she "walked off" at one point during the auditions. It came right after a contestant "butchered" one of her songs, "Hold It Against Me". Sources say Brit was "upset" and she "did not come back immediately … and four contestants auditioned in front of the remaining judges … and an empty seat." But some flack for the show told TMZ that Britney was not upset and she was just taking a "short break". TMZ also has a story that is straight from Simon Cowell's ass – the source claims Britney has been "articulate, encouraging and even funny at times" with the contestants. Meanwhile, as I'm sure you've already heard, Britney's X Factor rider has been made public. Yes, not only is Britney getting a $15 million paycheck for this shiz, she's also making producers stock her dressing room with all manner of goodies. Her rider includes: *34 Herve Leger dresses Which sounds about right. Did you think Britney had developed a taste for anything besides fried chicken, 'tater salad, DOH-ritos and Snickers? And why the 34 bandage dresses? Is she using them as napkins or something? And where, for the love of God, are the HAWT DERGS?!? |
Kirsten Dunst in Louis Vuitton at the amfAR gala: bumpy or just an unflattering gown? Posted: 25 May 2012 06:11 AM PDT I know I've called Bump Watch of Kirsten Dunst several times in the past, but seriously, doesn't Kiki look pregnant here? These are more photos from the Cannes Film Festival amfAR gala last night – Kiki is the reigning Queen of Cannes (she won Best Actress last year), so she gets to be the header of this post. Kiki's gown is Louis Vuitton – I think it's fug. I don't mind her in blue (although this shade is too "precious"), but this dress is – at best – unflattering. Plus, we need to talk about whether Kiki is gestating a little Garrett Hedlund. In the profile shot, I'm not really seeing a "bump". But look at her boobs! Kiki's always had a nice bust, but I swear they're bigger and I swear she's got a case of Pregnant-Face. Janet Jackson in Emilio Pucci. Oh, Ms. Jackson. I love you, girl, but we need to talk. I'm proud of you for losing weight, really and truly. But you need to stop messing with your face and you need to find a better makeup artist. And please don't wear dresses that make your boobs look so wonky. In another world, in another lifetime, I would love the chance to look like Doutzen Kroes for a day. She's just so beautiful!! Doutzen wore this white Versace – I think she looks like an old-school, proper supermodel. She's got that crazy, sexy, athletic-slim body and the Versace looks poured onto her. That's Sunnery James, her husband and father of her son Phyllon. Everyone is saying that Kim Kardashian "pulled an Angelina" in this mustard yellow dress (I can't find the designer ID). I kind of like how everyone calls it "the Angelina" now whenever a girl throws her leg out on the red carpet. It's been happening a lot lately too – lots of girls have been "pulling the Angelina." As for Kim's dress – meh. This shade of yellow is so difficult to pull off, and while it's not great on Kim, it's not as bad as it could be. The design is meh. Her face looks decent, though. Diane Kruger in Chanel. The one time she wears Chanel and I think "Hm, is that Oscar de la Renta?" I'm not crazy about this, honestly. Diane kind of pulls it off with that whimsical little skirt, but her skinny legs worry me. Joshua looks cute. |
Duchess Kate is a “cold, dull, serious girl” claims new authorized biography Posted: 25 May 2012 05:52 AM PDT A new book about Prince William is about to released, and it’s not painting a very pretty picture of Kate Middleton. I looked it up on Amazon, and there's not an American release date yet, but I'm sure that's why In Touch Weekly is buzzing about this book, Prince William: The Man Who Will Be King. It's a preview to whet your appetite so the bloody Yanks will buy the bloody book. ITW is trying to make this sound very scandalous, although I have my doubts. They claim William coordinated with the biographer, giving his permission for some of his staff members and friends to give interviews, which sucks because the book is all about how William was never really "sold" on Kate Middleton's qualities, and all of the people "authorized" to speak on William's behalf basically describe Kate a boring, diet-obsessed cold fish who was desperate to marry William. Hm…
Is Kate really "a cold, dull, serious girl who was never liked by William's friends"? I might like her more if she had secretly been "serious" all this time, and not being liked by William’s snotty posh friends is a plus in my book. But I think the real scandal is that Kate isn't very "serious" at all. The secret might be that she seems to be rather vapid, and she was only really "serious" about landing William. She put her mind to it and she achieved her one and only goal after nine long years. As for her being "cold and dull" – well… that might be slightly unfair. She lacks emotional intelligence, I think, but she seems like a smiley, happy, positive person. As for the implied criticism of Kate's dramatic weight loss over the course of the past two years, The Mail had an interesting story yesterday. Their sources claimed that Kate's "toned" physique is courtesy of a very inexpensive workout:
[From The Mail] This sounds a lot like Tracy Anderson's "method" of exercise and weight loss, which CB and I have always thought is more about limiting caloric intake rather than consistent low-weight-training. Which means that I think Kate's weight loss is less about her exercise and more about how she limits her diet. But maybe I'm just acting pissy because I LOATHE squats. |
Aishwarya Rai covers up her criticized figure at Cannes amfAR gala: still gorgeous? Posted: 25 May 2012 05:36 AM PDT One of the biggest headlines to come out of this year's Cannes Film Festival amfAR gala is the international debut of Aishwarya Rai's postpartum figure. And that kind of sucks. As we discussed last week, Rai was facing increased criticism in India for not losing her pregnancy weight fast enough. The discussion became an international gossip subject after Indian papers published a recent photo of Rai with a double chin (gasp!). Anyway, the overwhelming majority of people felt like "For the love of God, leave the poor woman alone!!" And after all of that, Aishwarya still came to Cannes and… Lord, this woman is gorgeous. Look at that face. The dress/sari/Mandarin-jacket ensemble is by Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla. I don't mind that she went for a more traditional, conservative look, but I would have loved to see her in just a straight-up silk sari in a beautiful jewel tone. Still, I don't even see what the fuss is all about with her figure – she only looks slightly heavier than she did last year. What's the BFD? Georgina Chapman in her own Marchesa design. TRAINWRECK. Good God, does she not see how awful and budget her own designs are while she wears them? Gerard Butler looks slim and soberish. I wonder if he boned anyone in the bathroom? Julianna Margulies in L'Wren Scott. Elegant simplicity. Yes, it's kind of boring, but I adore a cap sleeve when it's done well. Julianna always looks better when she keeps her style simple, with clean lines and solid colors too. I also love JM's hair here – I dislike it when she slicks everything back – it ages her. Looser styles compliment her face. My one complaint: the lining seems off somehow and in some photos you can totally see JM's nips. Also: her husband is so cute. |
Lisa Marie Presley on CO$: “They were taking my soul, my money, my everything” Posted: 25 May 2012 05:20 AM PDT A few weeks ago, we reported that Lisa Marie Presley was beginning to break free from the clutches of Scientology, which was inferred by the fact that she told the cult to kiss her ass through some song lyrics from her new album. At the time, Jason Beghe voiced the opinion that if Lisa Marie was truly leaving the “church,” then Kirstie Alley’s size 6 ass could possibly follow suit as well. While I’m still wondering what Priscilla thinks about all of this, the story is still developing in regards to Elvis’ daughter herself, who is dropping clues like mad. This week’s issue of the Enquirer refers to an interview that Lisa Marie gave to USA Today on 5/14 where Presley refuses to name names but speaks of a mysterious “they.” Lisa Marie also stated within the interview that she was “emotionally and fiscally robbed by her closest confidants,” and she is obviously referring to the CO$ in both instances. Now the Enquirer has spoken to insiders that say the CO$ fears that Lisa Marie’s behavior could inspire others to leave the cult as well. Here’s more telling stuff from the Enquirer story, which also talks about another new song of Lisa Marie’s that basically tells the CO$ to go to hell:
[From Enquirer, print edition, June 4, 2012] The USA Today interview has also been replicated on LisaMariePresley.com as well, so there’s a double endorsement of her words. It certainly sounds like Lisa Marie has seen the CO$ for what it really is — a greedy and corrupt business that sucks its members dry in both the financial and spiritual senses. I hope that she’s got a gated home (and she undoubtedly does) where she’s currently living in London because the city has a strong CO$ presence there, although she’s sure to have less potential contact with them there than in Hollywood. I can’t wait to see what comes of this story next because you know this isn’t over by a long shot. Photos courtesy of WENN |
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