Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Matt Lauer Calls Punxsutawney Phil’s Prediction “BULL”

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 07:51 AM PST

In happy Groundhog Day news, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning, thus predicting an early spring. On the Today Show, Meredith Vieira called it “great news for people in places like Chicago and Boston” who’ve been dealing with relentless winter storms for more than a month but can now take solace in the optimistic prediction of a just-awoken rodent.

Matt Lauer, however, remained cautiously skeptical:

Simpsons Nerd Alert: McBain: The Movie

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 07:43 AM PST

This is wonderful. All of your favorite McBain moments from The Simpsons, compiled into a fairly seamless film, which is way better than the A Little Bit of Heaven trailer and probably better than Black Swan (I still haven’t seen Black Swan. But I’ll say this is definitely better than Black Swan.)

McBain: The Movie from McBain on Vimeo.

I remember all of these clips so clearly, as if they were from a couple of years ago, and then this screen shot makes it abundently clear that I’m super old:

Now we just need a compilation of Troy McClure saying all of the films he’s been in. Does that exist? It should. It probably does.

NY Mag

Helen Mirren Has The Scooter Of A 20 Year Old

Posted: 02 Feb 2011 06:46 AM PST

Dame Helen Mirren on the red carpet for the premiere of Brighton Rock. This woman has a better scooter than most people half her age.

More scooter after the jump

A Headline For All Aspiring Screenwriters

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 03:27 PM PST

Just FYI, Syfy’s original movie Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid starring Debbie Gibson and Tiffany drew 2.35 million viewers Saturday night.

Whattya think of that, screenwriting grad student in the Inside The Actor’s Studio audience who’s 90 billion dollars deep in college loans?

Just A GIF Of Mila Kunis Putting Her Fist In Her Mouth

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 02:59 PM PST

So, this is Mila Kunis putting her whole fist in her mouth. Here you go!

Mila Kunis

The thing that’s nice about it is you can tell she’s really having a good time. She’s totally smiling with her eyes. And it’s black and white so it’s classy.

Sarah Marhsall: Forgotten. Good job, Mila Kunis.

This was found on Space Ghetto which, as I have explained many times before, will not be linked to because, in general,  it is a place where disturbing things go to rot and get more disturbing.

Coffin Company Offers Zsa Zsa Gabor Free Golden Casket When She Dies

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 01:11 PM PST

Rarely does one story so perfectly encapsulate everything I hate about the internet, marketing, celebrity, and all other aspects of humankind (up to and including ornithology), but this story just about sums up badness:

Ailing film star Zsa Zsa Gabor, who has just had her leg amputated, has been offered a golden coffin worth $40,000 to house her when she dies.

The coffin-making company, The Golden Casket, sent a letter to Zsa Zsa’s publicist asking if the 93-year-old would like one of the caskets as a gift – despite the fact she is not yet dead.

Ahh, viral marketing meets legless 90-year-old celebrity meets elegance meets us seeing it and increasing our subconscious desire for the world to end. Everything about this story is so simultaneously ridiculous, exhausting, and pointless, I’m not going to finish this list-style sentence I just started.

Gonna spend my evening kicking back with some whiskey and watching the Possessed Demon Fish vid and coming back fresh tomorrow for another day of internetting.

(via Splash News)

Woman Grows Nails For 22 Years To “Meet Oprah And A Lotta Mo’ Celebrities”

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 12:52 PM PST

SPOILER ALERT: At some point in this video you will see this exchange happen.

Fingernail Lady: I cannot tie shoes.

Actual Reporter: Do you type on a computer?

This whole thing is such a mess of journalism and humanity. First of all, somebody decided this was news. And, second of all, this lady wants to meet Oprah and become famous, so in order to do that she grew out her finger nails for 22 years. Someone had a lousy guidance counselor! (Both the fingernail lady and the reporter.)  Don’t bother trying to be nice inside of your head while you watch this. It won’t work.

Obviously, Rose, the lady who does the fingernail lady’s nails, is the best lady.

Actual Reporter: You must be very proud

Rose: I am not sure about that.

Thanks, Business Insider.

The One Person Pony Dance Party Super Cut

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 11:47 AM PST

The song Pony by Ginuwine has a different meaning for everyone. Well, it has the same meaning for everyone in that it is very definitely about sex perhaps with or perhaps without a pony, but beyond that, it probably takes you back to the time and place you most associate with that song. For you, that time and place might be when you were a kid riding in a car with your older sibling. Or perhaps you most associate Pony with sitting on your couch watching MTV during your teens.

For me, this can only bring back memories of Bar Mitzvah parties from late 1996 to early 1997. Every Bar Mitzvah party required that this song and the “I like the way you work it — no dignity” song be played at least once. Sometimes twice. “Very interesting fact about your experiences at Bar Mitzvah parties, Noah!” – All of you.

The people below, however, have a different experience with Pony than you or I. For these people, this song is loneliness. This song is desperation. This is the song that plays in their head and on their stereo as they cry out for attention from the one person for whom they feel comfortable making personal dance videos.

Thanks, The High Definite.

These Tyler Perry Madea Posters Are Getting Out Of Hand

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 11:19 AM PST

Tyler Perry, aka “Captain Whole Internet Always Liking Him Man”, has pulled another Madea film out of the ol’ Xerox, entitled “Madea’s Big Happy Family (Of Zingers!)”

To virally promote this movie, Perry has released two posters for the film featuring Madea inserted into other iconic movie posters, one parodying Black Swan, and another parodying The Godfather.

I get what he’s shooting for, but frankly, I thought the latest Madea poster was exceptionally lazy:

Sad Keanu, Meet Sad Koala

Posted: 01 Feb 2011 09:33 AM PST

Sad Koala is a thing now. Sad Keanu was already a thing. It’s only fair that the internet produce a picture of Sad Keanu and Sad Koala hanging out together, saddin’ it up:

Handywork courtesy of Pete Schultz, although I don’t believe we actually made the Photoshop so much as the Photoshop made us. – Malcom X, if he were alive today and involved in way more trivial things.
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