Thursday, August 25, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

The Dos and Don’ts of Drama, with Degrassi: No You Can’t Read My Poker Face

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 11:10 AM PDT

“Drop It Like It’s Hot” parts 1 and 2 took us through the highs and lows of different relationships at Degrassi. Dave and Alli go from a misunderstanding about sex to her gambling away her scholarship on a high-stakes poker game. Meanwhile, the season’s weirdest friendship begins when Bianca gets stuck in detention with Imogen: The two bond over complicated guys, and Bianca steals Imogen’s birthday money because she refuses to sell drugs at Degrassi. Then everything gets solved with cops and lingerie…

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Gallery: Who Should Host The VMAs?

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 11:13 AM PDT


As you may already know, the MTV Video Music Awards will have no host this year. I guess Chelsea Handler did such a great job last year that they thought no one could possibly follow her? Anyway, I personally find it a bit lame that given all their vast resources, history, and celebrity connections, MTV couldn’t find a single person fit to wear a bunch of wacky outfits and deliver the lines that the writers wrote for them. In an effort to help, I’ve come up with a few suggestions as to who should host the VMAs this year. You’re welcome, guys.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Glee Has the Nerve to Steal a Fan’s Plot Idea and Not Even Give Her Credit

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 10:08 AM PDT

Here’s a lesson, Gleeks: Don’t give a letter to Cory Monteith with your pitch for a YouTube talk show called Fondue for Two — because Glee will steal the idea and use it without giving you any credit or payment! And here we were just starting to forget that the people behind the show are douchebags.

It was about a year between when fan Teresa Musumeci shyly gave her letter to Cory at a Glee Live show, and when Glee released videos of cheerleader Brittany (Heather Morris) hosting a web show called Fondue for Two. They didn’t even change the name!

The Glee producers tried to buy off Teresa by sending her a signed script, and it seems to have worked. In the local news report about the story, she almost justified them stealing her idea by saying, “It’s nice to see that they read their fan mail and it’s kinda cool they used my idea.” She started an account on Twitter in June in order to get the producers’ attention; her last few tweets have been directed at stars Cory, Heather, Jenna Ushkowitz, Dianna Agron, and others to thank them for the script. But it doesn’t sound like she’s going to push the issue beyond that.

What’s so skeevy is how open Glee was about the whole thing. After Teresa gave her letter to a security guard to deliver to Cory, he actually came out to sign autographs — and thanked her for the letter. He obviously shared it with the producers, or somehow passed it along. When Fondue for Two first came out, Heather Morris did an interview where she confirmed that the idea came from a fan’s letter.

This is why TV shows won’t accept spec (sample) scripts from wannabe writers; there’s a big chance they’d be tempted to use the writers’ stories and have to deal with copyright issues and acknowledgement. But Glee is apparently above such trivial issues.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

The Daily WTF: Plastic Straw Art or Deep Sea Creature?

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 10:03 AM PDT

The answer to the question asked in our headline is, of course, plastic straw art, although this photo could just as easily show some kind of anemone situation. Artist Annie Boyden Varno makes these swizzle straw creations as a commentary on the toxic results of man’s interference in nature.

They make me want to grab a soda more than they make me want to rescue seals, however, so I guess that’s another societal commentary right there.

(via)

Post from: Crushable

River Phoenix Has Always Been Dead, and 8 Other Pop Culture Teachings from Beloit College’s Depressing ‘Mindset List’

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 09:26 AM PDT

Since 1998, Beloit College in Wisconsin has issued a “Mindset List” to its professors for each incoming class. It’s basically a look into the students’ minds in terms of pop culture, celebrities, and technology — its sole purpose is to ensure that professors don’t make dated references that will confuse the new freshmen. This is kind of depressing and like that M. Night Shyamalan movie The Village, right?

Here are the points that left us with our mouths hanging open.

1) Ferris Bueller is your cautious dad, not a rebellious kid. Wow.

2) O.J. Simpson has always been suspected of something, but he wants to find Nicole Simpson’s killer. We love how the instinct to suspect him is still there, but no one remembers the actual trial — or if they do, it’s only because Kim Kardashian‘s dad was O.J.’s lawyer.

3) “Life is like a box of chocolates.” That’s the movie catchphrase they come away with?

4) A long time ago, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, and Ryan Gosling were all in something called the Mickey Mouse Club. You can probably find these episodes on… VHS!

5) You can find any song on free download or YouTube. That’s almost entirely true for us slightly older Millennials, too — we only vaguely remember cassette tapes.

6) The main way to break up with someone is over Facebook or text. Hey, we’ve got a whole column on it.

7) If a store doesn’t have a website, it’s not worth shopping at. It’s weird how we now mistrust any business that doesn’t have an Internet presence…

8) If you’re bored on AIM, you can always talk to a chatterbot. …We can’t remember a time when those didn’t exist.

9) River Phoenix has always been dead. Rub it in, why don’t you??

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

What We Think NBC’s Whitney Is About Based on the Publicity Photos

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 09:27 AM PDT

A few months ago I had barely even heard of Whitney Cummings, and now she has her own television show, made by and about her. First of all, since when did networks start naming shows after comedians again? I'm pretty sure when Seinfeld ended, everyone just sort of agreed "okay cool, no more eponyms." And Louie doesn't count here – it's cable. So what the heck is Whitney, the program and the comedienne, about? Here's what I think we can expect based on the publicity photos.

Whitney takes place in jail, after Ms. Cummings attempts to murder her boyfriend/husband/brother who looks like the poor man's Joey Lawrence. She was probably on her period.

Post from: Crushable

Some Guy Got An ‘I Survived The Quake’ Tattoo

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 09:06 AM PDT

Remember the Great East Coast Quake of two and a half days ago? Of course you do; you’re probably still hiding under your desk. Well, while you were still cowering amongst gallons of bottled water, one guy was out there commemorating it the cleverest way possible: via permanent joke tattoo.

According to The New York Daily News, the idea was born when tattoo shop owner Joe Khay of Citizen Ink Studios in Sheepshead Bay drew it up to mock everyone who was freaking out about the earthquake and posted it on Facebook as a $30 joke tattoo. At which point Jonathan Berg, of Gerritsen Beach, Brooklyn saw it and was like, “whoa. What a brilliant work of comedic satire. I must have it on my body forever.”

Apparently he’s not the only one, either. Three more people have called about the tattoo since then, showing that absurdity loves company. Still, nothing will ever top the grossness I feel each time I GIS “bad tattoos” and see this:

Or this:

Eep!

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Camp Week Gallery: Happy Birthday, Alexander Skarsgard

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 09:29 AM PDT


Alexander Skarsgard turns 35 today! Happy birthday to our favorite Swedish export that does not come primary-colored and fish-shaped in a tub. The actor has starred in some pretty campy stuff — True Blood and Zoolander, most notably — so, once again, his birthday is timed nicely with our theme week. Here are some of the campiest images of Alex S.

Post from: Crushable

We Really Hope Jim Carrey’s Video Love Letter to Emma Stone Is a Joke

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 08:50 AM PDT

We have no idea why, but Jim Carrey felt compelled to send Emma Stone a video love letter yesterday. Or, you know, post it on his personal website so everyone could see him tell Emma how beautiful he thinks she is and that he wants to have sex and freckle-faced babies with her. He later took to Twitter to announce the whole thing was a stunt, but we’re still pretty creeped out. Judge for yourself.

Reasons he could be joking:

  • They used to call Jim “the man of a thousand faces”: Who says that his deadpan expression isn’t just another tool in his repertoire?
  • We haven’t heard much out of him lately aside from Mr. Popper’s Penguins, so it’s likely this is a ploy for attention.
  • It looks as if he launched his site Jim Carrey Tru Life (which, interestingly, is down right now) at the same time, so this could be the first of many comedy routines.

Reasons he could be dead serious:

  • You can’t fake that kind of intense stare.
  • We already know that older men definitely have a thing for Emma — all you have to do is watch David Letterman compliment her every limb when she was on his show a few weeks ago.
  • The part where he mentions his age sounds like he’s actually really thought about it.
  • Last year, after he and ex Jenny McCarthy split, Jim fired off a series of erratic tweets that had people wondering if he’d finally cracked.

Yeah, we’re still uncomfortable watching this.

Related posts:

Post from: Crushable

Celebrity Sex Dreams: Cliff Huxtable Is Down with Masturbation

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 07:51 AM PDT

I've never had a sex dream about a celebrity. (I'm not sure I have ever had a "sex dream" at all, in fact. I've had dreams with lots of foreplay, but something generally interrupts before any actual sex takes place. Someone reminds me about something I need to do. Or the woman just suddenly disappears. Or the Nazis show up.) But for about a year between the ages of 13 and 14, I had a recurrent dream of a sexual nature involving a celebrity. In the dream, I am lying on my bed, pleasuring myself, when the door swings open and standing there is Cliff Huxtable. Not Bill Cosby, mind you, though clearly it is, but in the dream I absolutely know that the man standing there is Cliff Huxtable — and he's my dad. There I am, mid-stroke, looking up at him in shock, but not quite able to stop what I am doing. And instead of reacting as my real father would, with an embarrassed gasp and an awkward retreat, Cliff just said, "Carry on, son," and shut the door. And I would. Carry on.

Years later, a therapist reminded me that Cliff Huxtable was an obstetrician on the show, and suggested that the dream expressed an adolescent fear of getting a woman pregnant. That therapist was stupid: I was 13. I wasn't afraid of getting a woman pregnant; if anything I was worried that I might never get a chance to touch a woman. But remembering the weird lack of shame I felt – beyond the obvious embarrassment of having to somehow sneak my sheets into the laundry without my mother seeing – I knew that the dream was really just an unconscious reaction to the horribly executed sex talk my dad tried to give me one day while we were walking to synagogue. I was processing the shame of that conversation using a stand-in dad, the father figure from the only show my parents and I watched together regularly. Cliff Huxtable, I assumed, would have known how to tell me those things in ways that didn't make me want to run screaming into the sedate suburban traffic.

My dad, it turned out, was much cooler than Bill Cosby, and the dream must have stopped at some point after we had a second, much less traumatizing conversation. Also I came to realize somewhere along the line that the me who was jerking off in the dream must have been Theo. Even back then, I knew that was a mistake.

Post from: Crushable
Brought to you by: at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)