Cele|bitchy

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• Jennifer Garner has a bump: pregnant, food baby or just unflattering clothes?
• Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries were married last night in a lavish ceremony
• Angelina Jolie went to Croatia to see ‘King Lear’ & talk about landmines
• Linnocent is suing Pitbull for an innocuous lyric about how she went to lock-up
• Princess Charlene in an off-white summer gown: lovely, tacky or meh?
• Michael C. Hall is in the midst of a mid-life crisis, is dating a 25-year-old staffer

Jennifer Garner has a bump: pregnant, food baby or just unflattering clothes? Posted: 21 Aug 2011 06:45 AM PDT For a while now, I've been defending Jennifer Garner against the constant claims that she's pregnant for the third time. Garner has said before that Seraphina was her last, and I think it's rather mean to constantly call bump-watch on Garner whenever she has a small little tummy. Most of the time, it's just a bad combination of food-babies and unflattering clothes. But over the past few months, there have been several blind items suggesting Garner is knocked up again (despite her rep's denial in June) and in photos over the last week, I'm starting to wonder: Is it possible that she's pregnant again? It would make her fans happy, sure. And I would guess that Garner would be a great mom to yet another kid. It also wouldn't surprise me if Ben Affleck and Jennifer both decided to "try for the boy". But I still get the feeling that if she is pregnant, it's probably not the happiest news for Ben and Jen, who seem to still be working through some issues in their marriage. Maybe this is how they're working through those issues - who will pay attention to stories of Ben's gambling problem or infidelity when a new addition to the Dimple Parade is in our midst? All of these candid photos are from the past week, but yesterday Garner was at the D23 Expo in Anaheim, where she wore an odd blue dress that seems to be oddly puckering around her midsection. We don't have access to the photos, but go here to look. I mean, the dress is fitted so I feel like she's not pregnant and she's just gained some weight in her midsection. But she totally look pregnant to me. PS… Her boobs look bigger too, right? Photos courtesy of Fame.

Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries were married last night in a lavish ceremony Posted: 21 Aug 2011 06:12 AM PDT At long last, somebody bought the cow after getting the kat-face milk for free. Wait, I bungled that. Nevermind. Kim Kardashian is married, y'all. She is officially Kim Humphries. Or he is Kris Kardashian. I don't know how they're going to do this. Surprisingly enough, there aren't a million blurry photos of Kim and Kris's nuptials, so I really don't know what Kim's dress looks like beyond the description given to E! News and People Magazine, but I should point out that the description of the dress seems very similar to what Kim's wax figure is wearing in these photos. Ha. I guess I should applaud them for keeping their wedding on lockdown? Or we should just thank E! because they're the ones protecting their exclusive. Here are some details about the wedding, which went down last night in Montecito: It was the happily-ever-after she always dreamed of. Kim Kardashian tied the knot with New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries on Saturday evening, her rep confirms to PEOPLE and E! exclusively. The couple, who became engaged in May after dating for six months, wed at a private estate in Montecito, Calif., in front of 440 guests. Among them: Demi Lovato, Babyface, Vera Wang, Mario Lopez, Mark Ballas, Ciara, Carmelo Anthony, Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz, Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough, Alan Thicke, Cheryl Burke, Melanie Brown, Maria Menounos, Sugar Ray Leonard, Serena Williams, Kathie Lee Gifford, Brittny Gastineau, Greta Van Susteren, Jillian Barberie, Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne, Scottie and Larsa Pippen, and Dina, Ali and Lindsay Lohan. As stepfather Bruce Jenner walked her down the aisle, Kardashian, 30, donned an ivory custom-designed Vera Wang gown with full tulle skirt, basque waist and hand-pieced Chantilly lace appliqué on the bodice and train. She wore Guiseppe Zanotti shoes. The groom, 26, sported a made-to-measure white peak lapel tuxedo jacket, black tuxedo pants with white tuxedo shirt and white bow tie – all by Ermenegildo Zegna – and the couple exchanged rings by Lorraine Schwartz, who also designed the engagement ring. The bride was joined by sisters Kourtney, 32, and Khloe, 27, who served as her co-maids of honor. Younger sisters Kendall, 15, and Kylie Jenner, 14, and Humphries’s sister, Kaela, were bridesmaids. The ring bearer was Kourtney’s 21-month-old son, Mason Disick. All the groomsmen, including the bride’s brother Robert Kardashian, wore matching black peak lapel tuxedos, white tuxedo shirts and black silk bow ties, again all by Zegna – who also dressed fathers of the bide and groom, Bruce Jenner and William Humphries, in matching black peak lapel tuxedos, white tuxedo shirts and silk bow ties. For later in the evening, Kim planned two more changes, both Vera Wang ivory dresses, with a Judith Leiber clutch. The first was a Georgette mermaid gown with hand-pieced Chantilly lace appliqué on the bodice and a skirt with hand-cut organza petals intermixed with Chantilly lace motifs and organza sprig embroidery. The other Vera Wang dress was a bias-cut crepe back satin gown with V-neck and circle skirt. At the reception, the groom changed into a black peak lapel Zegna tuxedo, white tuxedo shirt and black silk bow tie, to match his groomsmen. E! News will air footage from the wedding Sunday at 6 p.m. ET/PT, and a two-part special, Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event, will air Oct. 9 and 10, only on E! [From People] Would you like to know more? Of course. Bruce Jenner walked Kim down the aisle. Kim wore a bejeweled headpiece with her veil, and "diamonds… dripped onto Kim’s forehead." I'm sure that was a sight, all of those diamonds on Kim's epic, Botoxed forehead. Everything was in black and white, except for "the tiny pink box that Humphries’ best man, longtime pal Josh Ketroser, presented the rings in." Kim paid tribute to her father, the late Robert Kardashian, in the wedding program: "I so wish my dad could be here today to walk me down the aisle. But I know in a way he is here, and I feel his loving presence all around me. I love and miss you, dad." Little Mason Dixon performed his ring-bearer duties and it sounds kind of cute. More details: Robin Thicke was there! Kim and Kris danced their first dance as a married couple to Thicke singing "Angels" and then "Let's Stay Together". Earth, Wind & Fire also performed later in the evening too. The food was done by Wolfgang Puck, and here's what was served: "a buffalo mozzarella and heirloom tomato salad with basil and 'tomato chips' followed by a choice of hand-formed agnolotti with sweet corn mascarpone and summer truffles, or roast chicken with Yukon Gold potato puree, caramelized brussels sprouts and summer truffles." The cake was "a decadent, multi-tiered chocolate-and-vanilla swirl cake studded with chocolate chips." It really sounds like no expense was spared for this wedding. I hope Kim got what she wanted, and hell, I hope the marriage lasts longer than a year. Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Angelina Jolie went to Croatia to see ‘King Lear’ & talk about landmines Posted: 21 Aug 2011 05:31 AM PDT These are photos of Angelina Jolie in Croatia, where she stayed for about 48 hours on a whirlwind trip in which she met with Croatia's president and took in a production of King Lear. Angelina brought her two oldest sons, Pax and Maddox, and there are even some blurry, low-quality pics of Angelina and Madd (below, at the end of the post). She went to the King Lear production at the invitation of actor Rade Serbedzija, the white-haired gentleman in these photos. He's also been in about a million films, and one of the latest projects is In the Land of Blood and Honey, Angelina's feature directorial debut (she previously directed a documentary, A Place In Time). According to a reader of this site, Jolie "managed to say that she liked" the King Lear production, which featured "mostly pretty bad actors" (this is according to the Celebitchy reader!). Google Translator claims Angelina said, "This was an incredible experience. Brilliant performances that celebrate the remarkable way the theater. Otherwise I’m a big fan of Rade Serbedzija, I enjoyed working with him. I have no words for his work, and I hope to be with him one day and play with him." I sure he would enjoy that very much! She also took a meeting with the president about land mines, apparently at HIS request. Pres. Ivo Josipovic asked Jolie to help with Croatia's landmine problem: Angelina Jolie met with the president of Croatia on Friday (19Aug11) to discuss how to tackle land mines in the country. The actress, who is in Europe while her partner Brad Pitt films his new movie World War Z in various locations around the U.K., flew into Croatia as a guest of her friend and fellow actor Rade Serbedzija. But Jolie, who serves as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations, turned the trip into a charity mission as she used the opportunity to meet with President Ivo Josipovic. The pair discussed the nation’s ongoing problem with land mines, which have remained since the country’s war of independence in the 1990s. [From Contact Music] After that meeting, Angelina and the boys went to the island of Brijuni and had some beach time - or not? I don't know, I think I might be getting the timeline of event wrong. But the gist is the same - King Lear, meeting with the president, beach time. Photos courtesy of Fame.

Linnocent is suing Pitbull for an innocuous lyric about how she went to lock-up Posted: 21 Aug 2011 05:31 AM PDT Linnocent will sue anybody over anything. No, that's not true. If you are rich and Linnocent thinks you're good for a quick payout, and you happen to use the name "Lindsay" in passing, Linnocent will sue you. Remember the E*Trade "milkaholic" lawsuit? They ended up SETTLING with Linnocent just because they didn't want to deal with the dumbest lawsuit ever. So Linnocent needs money and her (alleged) hooking isn't paying like it used to, so Linnocent called her lawyers and checked to see if there was anyone rich she could sue. Guess what? Lindsay Lohan has just sued the rapper Pitbull for a line in his mega-hit, “Give Me Everything,” for a disparaging lyric about her. The song — written by Ne-Yo and Afrojack, also defendants — has a line: Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’ I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay is pissed, claiming in her lawsuit … “the lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff.” Lindsay, who claims in the lawsuit she is “a professional actor of good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild, is suing under the New York civil rights laws, which protects people from having their name exploited for commercial purposes. Lindsay alleges the appearance of her name in the song “causes [Lindsay] to be associated and identified in connection with defendants.” The suit — filed by Stephanie Ovadia — seeks an injunction to stop all of the defendants from broadcasting the song. It also seeks unspecified damages. Ovadia is the same lawyer who filed the E*TRADE lawsuit on Lindsay’s behalf, which settled for a confidential sum. [From TMZ] There isn't a "BITCH PLEASE" big enough for this dumb crackhead. I've lost count of how many times Linnocent has been hauled into court for her years of illegal crap. I've lost count of how many times that bitch has been in rehab, AND how many times she's been in jail. Since when is it defamation (or condemnation, or disparaging) to simply say "Linnocent has been in lock-up"? Or "Linnocent looks like a crackhead"? Or "Linnocent is a damn mess"? It will be interesting to see if Pitbull ends up settling because he just doesn't want to deal with her. This is her dumb, crackie career plan. This is how she makes money now - she just sues people for saying "Hey, you were in jail." And people don't want to deal with her idiotic, asinine crack drama, so they just throw some money at her and hope she goes away without infecting them with her loserdom. Photos courtesy of Fame.

Princess Charlene in an off-white summer gown: lovely, tacky or meh? Posted: 21 Aug 2011 05:30 AM PDT Here are some new photos of Prince Albert and Princess Charlene at the 50th anniversary of the Stade Nautique Rainier. It was a more low-key, casual event, thus Charlene is basically just wearing flats and a fancy summer dress in what I think is silk jersey. I can't find the designer ID, but I'm going to guess…? I have no idea. Whoever did it, I like it very much. Usually I don't care for too much beading and buttons and too much "extra" but this is just the right amount. I love that this dress looks very easy and effortless - we might have gotten ourselves a princess with some style! At this point, if Charlene simply went out without excessive buttons glued to every article of clothing, that would be an improvement over Duchess Kate. As for the state of Charlene and Albert's marriage and what we can assume from these photos… they look closer than they have in months. Maybe it was because the photo-op was so low-key, maybe it's because Albert and Charlene have reached some kind of understand (an heir for a divorce?), or maybe they're working on their issues and things are going well. All I know is that Charlene doesn't look so disgusted and drugged out in these photos. She seems sober-ish and lovely and almost like she's shooting little love-glances at Albert. Maybe she's a really good actress. I'm hoping against hope that they've worked something out and Charlene doesn't look like she wants to eat red hot death. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Michael C. Hall is in the midst of a mid-life crisis, is dating a 25-year-old staffer Posted: 21 Aug 2011 05:28 AM PDT Last Thursday, we had a story courtesy of The Enquirer, claiming that Michael C. Hall and his estranged wife Jennifer Carpenter are not getting along on the set of Dexter (Carpenter plays Deb, Dexter's sister). I tended to believe the story, just because the gossip about Hall and Carpenter has been pretty consistent - he screwed around with Julia Stiles, Hall and Carpenter quietly separated, Carpenter began seeing other people, and she's still pissed off about everything. The Enquirer didn't claim that Hall and Carpenter were at each other's throats or anything, just that they have been giving each other the silent treatment and everything is really awkward. Now we have a new reason for the awkwardness - Radar claims that for the past five months, Hall has been quietly dating a 25 year old Dexter staffer. Hall is 40 - so, it's kind of mid-life-crisis-y. Especially considering that most of these quotes seem to come from the 25-year-old's friends, and they all sound like teenagers. Dexter star Michael C. Hall has a secret new girlfriend and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned she is 15 years his junior. The 40-year-old actor has been having secret trysts with Vanessa Abrue, a Showtime staffer, and the two have been going to great lengths to keep the relationship low-key since they started dating in March - just three months after his ex, Jennifer Carpenter, filed for divorce from him. “No one would ever suspect these two were together because she isn’t what anyone would expect Michael to be with,” the insider said. “They hardly go out together but when they do it’s always with a group of people so no one would suspect he’s with someone.” According to the source, Vanessa brags about dating Michael to her friends but uses the code names “Ginger” or “my friend” when she speaks about him in front of other people. The young brunette bears a striking resemblance to Hall’s 31-year-old ex-wife and Dexter co-star, Carpenter, who he was married to for nearly two years. “Vanessa would constantly talk about Michael texting her at all hours of the night but said she thought it was all worth it,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “They mostly hang out at Michael’s house, but when she does go out in public with him it’s only with others and she walks at a distance.” Vanessa, 25, has also worked on the television show Weeds but has been a staffer on Dexter since last season, and spends so much time with Michael that people think she is his assistant. “It’s more like Michael, Vanessa and a few others that work on Dexter that are not actors. They are all close to Vanessa’s age,” the insider said. “When they all hang out at Michael’s, Vanessa would always stay the night with him but I don’t think Michael realizes how much Vanessa talks about him to friends.” Another source tells RadarOnline.com that they think Michael dating Vanessa is “gross” because he is so much older than she is but believes that he is “going through a midlife crisis dating a twenty-something.” The insider says that no one says anything because Michael, who battled cancer last year, is fun to hang around with and gets them into showbusiness events. As for rumors that Michael was dating blonde beauty Julia Stiles, who also starred on Dexter last season, the insider said that was just a ruse and they were never together. “The Julia Stiles speculation last season was an ‘inside’ lie created to use Julia as a scapegoat and throw people off,” the source said. “Vanessa even mentioned Julia as a scapegoat at one point.” Michael has been married twice - first to Amy Spanger, which ended in 2006 after three years and then he eloped with Carpenter in 2008 but they filed for divorce in December 2010. [From Radar] Ugh. So, Michael is hooking up with some 25-year-old chick (you can see photos of the girl here) on the set of his show, but he wants to keep it all on the downlow, so they pull the whole "we're going out as a group" thing - the kind of scheme usually used to fool your parents when you're 14. Sounds more like Michael just doesn't want anyone to know he's boning this chick on the side, and he feeds her these bizarre lines ("Julia Stiles is the scapegoat") and this chick buys it. I guess I just don't understand why this whole thing is so controversial? It's not like a 15-year age difference is that shocking at this point. And sure, it does sound like Michael is having a mid-life crisis. I suspect he's douchey about women. Also: what's it going to take for Michael to date someone outside of work? He's already working with one pissed off woman who he used to sleep with. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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