| “Merry Christmas and happy holidays, here’s some Michael Fassbender!” links Posted: 23 Dec 2011 06:32 AM PST 
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of our bitches! Much love from Celebitchy, Agent Bedhead and I, and we hope everybody has a safe, happy and healthy holiday. Next week, we'll still be on "holiday hours" but we'll still be posting, so come back for more crack shenanigans, fashion, dongs, biscuits and everything else you're itching for (but if it keeps itching, you should get an ointment). As a Christmas present to myself, I'm throwing some Fassdong photos up. Don't worry, I'll share! Here's the trailer for Fassy's latest movie, Ridley Scott's Prometheus. OMG!!! Happy holidays to our gossip friends as well! Here are some Christmas links: The first trailer for Prometheus, starring MICHAEL FASSBENDER. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. And Idris Elba too. OMG! [Pajiba]
George Michael is finally out of hospital! Huzzah! [Dlisted]
This actually makes me feel bad for Rooney Mara. Still, Team Noomi. [LaineyGossip]
New trailer for Haywire, starring FASSY. [Pop Sugar]
Can Megan Fox even close her mouth? [Celebuzz]
Random Christmas beefcake: Joe Manganiello. [Yeeeah]
The Druids say the world is NOT going to end in 2012. [Gawker]
Jim Carrey's new girlfriend is kind of busted. [INFDaily]
Lance Bass used the word "tranny". [Evil Beet]
Some Hugh Jackman for Christmas. [A Socialite Life]
Lady Gaga's old-school hair bow. [Go Fug Yourself]
I love this Christmas card from Don & Juan. [OMG Blog]
Balthazar Getty is thinking about Sienna Miller right now. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Lindsay Lohan has spent $1.4 million in legal fees. [IDLITW] 
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| Leonardo DiCaprio has a new, 22-year-old, blonde model girlfriend Posted: 23 Dec 2011 05:28 AM PST 
A week ago, the tabloids were reporting that Leonardo DiCaprio would totally take Blake Lively back, but only if she came running back to him, begging for his attention. Well, Blake is in Canada, spending time with Ryan Reynolds' family, getting conveniently pap'd, leaking stories about cupcakes and basically getting pre-engaged at this point. So Leo has had to bide his time with a series of interchangeable blonde models, which is pretty much his default position. Since Leo has been filming in Australia, there have been reports here and there about Leo taking this or that "mystery blonde" out, but now we have a confirmation of one of the names – Leo is currently dating 22-year-old Erin Heatherton. She's a Victoria's Secret model, and I can barely tell her apart from Candice Swanepoel. Some men would be happy with a new bottle of aftershave or a sweater for the holidays. But Leonardo DiCaprio has bagged himself a brand new blonde bombshell model girlfriend, in the very sexy shape of Erin Heatherton, to keep him company under the mistletoe. Having dated Gisele Bundchen and Bar Refaeli in the past, it appears that Leo is a bit partial to supermodels — especially Victoria's Secret ones — but well… who could blame him? The 37-year-old actor is currently in Sydney shooting Baz Lurhmann's The Great Gatsby and has apparently grown very close to the 22-year-old blonde beauty. The loved-up duo was seen walking around the grounds of Vaucluse House last week and have been seen at a martial arts event and out for dinner at the city's hot spot Barrio Chino. "There were times when they weren't really talking but then they would get chatty again and laugh and stuff," an eyewitness told Australia's Daily Telegraph. "If they're not 'together' I would say they are very close." And it seems Leo is in for a treat over the holidays as Heatherton was seen picking up $1,700 worth of lingerie from a sexy underwear store. She had flown in from New York to spend time with the Hollywood star but they are apparently returning Stateside together Friday.
[From Radar] I mean… sure. Of course. Leonardo is a hard 37, and of course he'd go for a 22-year-old Victoria's Secret model. I doubt he's serious about her, though. I think he just needed a new official girlfriend since he got played so publicly by Blake Lively. LOOK BLAKE, I have a new girlfriend! She's younger and blonder than you!!!! And Blake still doesn't care, or she's certainly doing a good job of pretending not to care. Sigh… I miss Bleo. And I'm worried that Blake and Ryan are going to be super-serious really quickly, and Bleo will never return. By the way, Erin totally has a bangin' body – lean and lithe, much like Gisele's, interestingly enough, but her face is rather meh, right? But her freckles are cute. 
Photos courtesy of WENN.
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| LeAnn Rimes bought Eddie Cibrian a Porsche for Christmas, and that’s not all Posted: 23 Dec 2011 05:02 AM PST 
LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are currently in Mexico, where they have been pap'ing themselves non-stop. Usually, I just blame LeAnn for calling the photographers, but I have to say… Eddie is posing his ass off too. Go here to The Superficial to see the photos – LeAnn in bikinis, her bolt-ons immobile. Anyway, In Touch had a hilarious/sad story about LeAnn's Christmas gifts and I sort of believe it. I believe it because LeAnn just seems like the kind of person who spends way too much money on gifts as a way of buying love. Cupboard love, squint style. Every day is Christmas with LeAnn Rimes around! According to an insider, LeAnn spoils Eddie Cibrian's sons, Mason, 8, and Jake, 4, by giving them absolutely anything their little hearts desire, including electric cars and even a $15,000 tree house at their Hidden Hills, California home. Now the step mom-turned-Santa is upping the holiday ante: Mason's allowance will increase from $5 to $100 a week. As for Eddie? LeAnn, 29, bought the 38-year-old a $150,000 turbo Porsche Panamera, but that pales in comparison to her biggest gift yet: "LeAnn's told Eddie she intends on tearing up their prenup agreement!" reveals the insider.
[From In Touch Weekly, print edition] Oh dear God, if LeAnn tears up the prenup, the situation will get epic. I've often wondered if Eddie is playing at a long con with LeAnn, but I've always come back to the idea that while he probably didn't care about her when things started, he's grown to love her over time. But if she rips up the prenup… oh, girl. Is she that dumb? Don't answer that. As for raising Mason's allowance – of course she would be that inappropriate. OF COURSE. Not only that, but LeAnn also recently tweeted a photo of her step-sons, with the name of their school visible in the photo. Brandi Glanville gave an interview to Babble about that and much more: Just last week LeAnn accompanied her husband Eddie to his kids' elementary school where the stepmom apparently did a special performance for the school children. While Mason and Jake opened their Elf On A Shelf gifts along with their classmates in their classroom, LeAnn posted a picture of the action on her Twitter page, exposing the name of the boys' school to millions of Twitter users. Many of LeAnn's critics are calling out the country crooner for potentially putting her two stepsons' safety in danger (as well as their classmates) by having the name of their school leaked out for paparazzi photographers to hound during school hours for photos.
Oh, but it doesn't stop there. If that wasn't enough, the new Mrs. Cibrian allegedly signals the paparazzi to show up wherever she goes with her stepsons, giving them even more unnecessary exposure to the limelight. This, according to Brandi Glanville. Speaking about the paparazzi and her children's safety in an exclusive interview with Babble, Brandi says, "Luckily for me I know the places to go with the kids where we generally do not get bothered, like I rarely take them to the Malibu Country Mart, for instance." "I do feel like the paparazzi of today are a lot friendlier, less aggressive and more respectful then that of some years back that I have heard about. Our reality is that being photographed is going to happen. This is our new life and if I don't seem to mind it and on my time we don't make a big deal of it," she adds. And in a very obvious swipe at LeAnn, Brandi says, "I do think however it is inappropriate to schedule photo-ops including my children to promote yourself or draw attention to an already tense situation." There's also rumors going around (as well as evidence) of LeAnn and her associates allegedly cyber bulling Brandi on Twitter. LeAnn, who posed for the NOH8 Campaign in an effort to stop nationwide bullying, seems to be one herself as she is encouraging her followers and Twitter friends to send the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star taunting messages. If that wasn't enough, LeAnn also allegedly meets her "friends" on Twitter and invites these strangers to her home while Brandi's kids are present.
[From Babble] It really does seem to me that Eddie Cibrian ended up marrying his stalker, and once LeAnn "got" him, she turned her crazy attentions to his ex-wife. I really do think LeAnn is mentally imbalanced, and it scares me that very few people call her out on some of her more ridiculous antics. 
Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.
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| Lindsay Lohan is crackie in New York, “dancing up a storm in a big hat” Posted: 23 Dec 2011 04:53 AM PST 
Lindsay Lohan is currently in New York for the holidays. So, you know, watch out for her if you're in the city and you don't want to be crack-jacked by an insane, bloated hooker with a busted weave. She comes out of nowhere, and she will steal your soul. And your jewelry, and your wallet. You can see some new photos of LL here at the Mail – she was out celebrating Ali's birthday and Michael Junior's birthday in the Meatpacking District. She was also "shooing away anyone who tried to take pictures." Probably because she was mainlining vodka: Lindsay Lohan has headed home to New York for the holidays. The legally challenged actress partied at Meatpacking District restaurant Beaumarchais on Wednesday night, celebrating the December birthdays of brother Michael Jr., 25, and sister Aliana, 18. Lohan was spotted "dancing up a storm in a big hat," and up to her routine of shooing away anyone who tried to take pictures. Lohan seemed in better spirits than during September's Fashion Week, when she threw drinks at photographers Jasper Rischen and Todd Eberle, believing they were snapping her. Lohan's rep huffed, "I think Page Six should let Lindsay celebrate her sister's birthday and not bother her any more."
[From Page Six] "I think Page Six should let Lindsay celebrate her sister's birthday and not bother her any more." Poor Steve Honig. Does he even believe that? Does he understand who his client is, and how badly she wants all of the attention, for ever and ever? Anyway, just consider this your Christmas open post for all things Cracken. What will 2012 bring Linnocent? Another arrest? Real jail time? Another stint in rehab? Another international call girl tour? Or just lots and lots of crack? 
Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.
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| American Horror Story will return for season 2 (major spoilers) Posted: 23 Dec 2011 04:06 AM PST 
Warning: there are major spoilers for American Horror Story’s past and upcoming season below.
American Horror Story is like a series of car crashes on a never ending highway. It’s shocking and it’s very hard to look away. The plot twists are out of control, but it keeps you watching because you want to know what’s going to happen next. While some of the ridiculous twists are way over the top and cliched (do we need grotesquely handicapped creatures in both the attic and the basement?) they do keep you guessing. The one commonality that runs through the show is the house, which is flexible enough to allow for just about any outcome, and they seem to cram at least a dozen in every episode. Plus the house allows most of the characters we’ve seen to flit in and out, since all the people who die there end up haunting it in some capacity. Given the Harmon’s sort-of sad yet happy demise in this season, I was looking forward to seeing those same characters haunt the next family. Only creator Ryan Murphy has revealed that season two of American Horror Story won’t even feature the house that was just about the only cohesive thing about this first season. They’re going to go somewhere else for season two, and it sounds like just about everything about this show is up in the air. I should have realized that everything Murphy touches turns to sh*t. Here’s more, from E!: New Cast and New Roles: While Ryan revealed that he is talking to “a handful” of the season-one actors about returning in new roles in season two, he told reporters that next year’s main cast will be all new faces—which was the plan from day one. “Some of them will be coming back. There will be familiar faces and also some new faces,” Murphy teased. “The people that are coming back will be playing completely different characters, creatures, monsters, etc. [The Harmons] stories are done. People who are coming back will be playing entirely new characters.” Unfortunately, he stayed completely mum on which actors might be coming back. “I would have them all back in a heartbeat. I think we’ll announce the full cast and what the new storyline is going to be some time in February.” New Location: “What you saw in the finale was the end of the Harmon house. The second season of the show will be a brand-new home or building to haunt,” Murphy said. “Just like this year, every season of this show will have a beginning, middle and end. [The second season] won’t be in L.A. It will obviously be in America, but in a completely different locale.” New Theme: This season’s theme was infidelity, and season two will also have an overlying theme running through the episodes. “The season we’re planning now is very different from the California house approach,” Murphy revealed. Now here comes the cool part: “There is a clue in the last three episodes where we resay what the next season will be about.” Get to searching, AHS fans! And since the new season will have a new building and location, the opening credit sequence will change as well, but Ryan said he will be “hopefully” using the same artist who created season one’s incredibly chilling sequence. Movie Stars: Because the shooting schedule of AHS is much like a movie commitment (three months or so), and because each season will bring new castmembers, Murphy has targeted film actors who he’s wanted to work with to join the cast of season two. He reasons that since they’ll only be attached to the show for one season, he can bring on people who have film careers so they won’t be locked down for five seasons. “This allows for those who haven’t done television to step up and say ‘let’s do this,’” said Murphy. “I’ve been getting a lot of calls from film actors who have wanted to dabble in television but never could figure out how.” Season One Postmortem:
The Finale: Murphy promised that the finale was planned since day one, and he was very satisfied that the Harmons got peace in their deaths. “I love those characters and I mourn them. I will miss them,” he says. “But I think as you see in the second season some of those characters will be returning. It was always the plan. I just hope that people who loved the show will love the second season, maybe even more so based on what we’ve already cooked up. I thought [the finale] was a great goodbye to those characters. We were simply not interested in doing another season with those characters trapped in that house. You just have to tell the story you want to tell.” Easter Egg Hunt: One good reason to rewatch from the beginning? Murphy insists there are plenty of fun clues fans can pick up on. “I think the clues of all the deaths and everything that happened are always there right from the beginning. And there are certainly several references to Dylan and hanging and noose stuff throughout the whole season. I think that’ll be fun for fans to go back and look at all those clues that we were planting right from the beginning.”
[From E! Online] Oh so Murphy is planning stunt casting for season two. What a surprise. The best way this ass can figure out how to do that will be to just scrap the whole house, not visit the Harmons, and not bother to explain all the crap that was thrown at us seemingly randomly. Conveniently, this will also allow him to keep all the castmembers in line because there will be no job security whatsoever. That’s just the type of boss-employee relationship this megalomaniac enjoys. He’s claiming some characters will be back in some twisted capacity, but I think he’s just playing lip service to the fans. We’ll see though. There’s a lot of speculation on E!’s comments section that the new season will be in Florida with Vivian’s sister. There’s still the matter of the antichrist kid that Vivian sired with the ghost of Constance’s son, Tate. People think that Jessica Lange (Constance) will definitely be featured next season, since she’s the demon spawn’s caretaker. If Lange asks for too much money for next season, I’m sure Murphy won’t hesitate to axe her, maybe literally. (If her character is even alive.) 
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| Linda Hogan, 52, and her 23 year-old fiance to star on VH1 reality show Posted: 23 Dec 2011 03:57 AM PST 
As you may be aware Linda Hogan, 52, has been dating a kid from her son’s peer group, who actually resembles her son and went to school with him. Linda and her boy toy, Charlie Hill, have been together for at least three and half years, and we heard last year that they were engaged. (This of course thrilled Linda’s ex, Hulk Hogan, as it meant that his alimony payments might eventually cease.) Linda and Charlie haven’t made it official yet, perhaps due to those sweet alimony payments, and are of course having relationship problems. Unlike similar January-December famewhores Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison, Linda and Charlie know their place and have accepted roles on a VH1 ensemble reality show. They’ve filmed a bunch of episodes for a show called “Couples Therapy,” (not with Dr. Drew) which will air in March. The best part of this story is the anecdote about how Linda’s boyfriend went out clubbing with her despicable 21 year-old son, Nick. Charlie ended up going home with another old broad and Nick ran home crying to his mommy about it.
Linda, 52 – the ex-wife of wrestler Hulk Hogan – and unlikely lover Charlie Hill, 23, will hash out their issues with psychotherapist Dr. Jenn Berman on the VH1 reality series “Couples Therapy,” which is scheduled to debut in mid-March. “Linda and Charlie’s relationship is littered with dysfunction and they’ve split up and gotten back together numerous times,” a family friend told The Enquirer. “Not long ago, Linda got so fed up with Charlie that she actually paid him to get out of her life. But she had a change of heart as soon as she learned Charlie hooked up with someone else.” As the Enquirer reported in November, Linda grew weary of her freeloading young fiance and sent him packing from her hilltop house outside of Los Angeles. But Charlie got cozy with another cougar at an L.A. club soon after getting the boot, and the Hogans’ 21-year-old son, Nick, who was also at the club that night, went back to Linda and “blabbed about everything,” said the friend. “As soon as Linda heard that her shoes had been filled so quickly – and with another older woman – she went ballistic!” But the anger quickly turned to jealousy and she pushed him to get back together. When the VH1 producers of “Couples Therapy” got wind of Linda and Charlies ongoing relationship struggles, they convinced them to do the show. “Linda and Charlie are more than halfway through taping the series,” the friend added. “While they appear to be working things out, it’s unclear whether their romance will last.”
[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 2, 2012] Trash to the E. So maybe Nick and Charlie weren’t partying together and Nick just happened to be at the same club. Either way, it’s gross. TMZ confirmed last week that Linda and Nick would be on this show, which they claim is titled “Relationship Rehab.” I might actually watch a couple episodes of this, if only to gawk at how absurd these people are. At least Charlie was technically legal when they first hooked up. Look at how matchy matchy these two are. I guess when you buy all your boyfriend’s outfits it’s easy to make sure you coordinate. A lot of moms do that with their kids. 
These photos are from 10/9/10 (black outfits) and 9/12/09 (short skirt) credit: Josephine Santos/Pacific Coast News. Matchy fur and fringe photos from 1/17/09. Credit: Fame  |
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