Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

The Daily WTF: Dave Eggers Shower Curtain

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 10:53 AM PST

Showering too boring for you? Not enough literary stimulation going on? Then hop on over to Dave Eggers‘ merch site for his quarterly publication The Thing and pick up this wordy shower curtain. It’s basically sentient.

Here’s the problem with this shower curtain, however: No longer can you blissfully belt out Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus songs while you soap up because your curtain will totally judge you. You’ve got to recite Keats and shit, or at the very least, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

(via BuzzFeed)

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Snooki, Michele Bachmann And Suzi Quatro Are Officially The Worst At Science

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 10:06 AM PST

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard this year? Might it be one of these? The Sense About Science Campaign has compiled a list of celebrities who have made the least scientifically accurate quotes of 2011 and Snooki, Michele Bachmann and Snooki have all been name-checked.

Michele Bachmann was of course included for her hugely damaging comment that the HPV vaccine makes young girls “mentally retarded,” a completely baseless statement. And what of the others? Here’s Snooki’s quote:

“I don’t really like the beach. I hate sharks, and the water’s all whale sperm. That’s why the ocean’s salty.”

So when you have a sore throat, you’re supposed to gargle with whale sperm? Speaking of, here’s what musician Suzi Quatro had to say:

“I used to get a lot of sore throats and then one of my sisters told me that all illnesses start in the colon. I started taking a daily colon cleanser powder mixed with fresh juice every morning and it made an enormous difference.”

Oh boy! Here’s one more from the list, courtesy of Christian Louboutin:

“She said that what is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman’s foot when she orgasms. So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation.”

(via Jezebel)

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The Hunger Games Releases New Still, Sountrack Information

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 09:45 AM PST

Hey look, it’s a new Hunger Games still! The shot above shows Jennifer-Lawrence-as-Katness-Everdeen being lifted up to the battle arena of the Tribute battle royale. And she looks pretty spooked if you ask me.

The studio has also released information about the score and soundtracks to the film, and it sounds like it’ll be pretty awesome. James Newton Howard has been hired as the flick’s composer, and superstar producer T-Bone Burnett will oversee tracks from folks like Taylor Swift, The Decemberists and Butler & Chassagne.

Jennifer Lawrence will get a chance to showcase her vocal talents as well. The actress is set to sing on a track called “Rue’s Lullaby,” which will pop up in the film itself as well as (presumably) the soundtrack.

(via IFC)

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Celebrity Lookalikes: Michael Musto Takes On 2011′s Biggest Gossip Magnets

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 09:21 AM PST

It’s that time again! Time for The Village Voice‘s Michael Musto to dress up like the year’s most notorious fameballs and mug for the camera, that is. This year, the perpetually cheeky scribe has taken on Kim Kardashian, Michele Bachmann, Charlie Sheen, and several others in a gentle satire of the year’s headlines. See all of them, after the jump.

(Via The Village Voice; click over there to read Musto’s amusing captions)

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Watch Michelle Obama Be The Cutest On iCarly

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 09:19 AM PST

Oh man, the 2011 season of iCarly is going to be awesome for one reason: Michelle Obama will make a cameo — and it’s a dancing cameo! The First Lady will join Miranda Cosgrove and company for what will be the best ep of the Nickelodeon show ever. (I feel confident saying that even though I have seen 3/4 of one episode over.)

Jump on over to 1:45ish for the part that involves Mrs. Obama. And then swoon and grin for whole minutes.

(via Vulture)

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Style Crush: Kelly Osbourne Is Our New Year’s Eve Dress Inspiration

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 09:46 AM PST

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner, and it’s about time you get your dress picked out, already! Are you going sparkly? Short and black? Or maybe bright red for kicks? Take a look at some of Kelly Osbourne‘s hits for inspiration.

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Parenting Lessons From Teen Mom 2: The Good Outweighs the Bad

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 08:30 AM PST

A strange episode last night. Leah and Corey got good and bad news about Ali’s condition, Kailyn got Mirena and wouldn’t stop talking about it, Jenelle inexplicably gave Keiffer a lift to jail and Chelsea was left home alone the day after her surgery. It looks like we’ll have to wait until next week to get Christmas cheer, or at least a lot of adorable babies tearing into presents.

JENELLE

DON”T Provoke your kid
This one’s directed at Jenelle’s mom. Normally I’m on her side, having to deal with Jenelle’s violent rudeness and raising her grandson, but cackling as Jenelle opens the world’s most boring birthday presents seems like she was goading her into having a temper tantrum. The car stuff also seemed kind of mocking since she knew Jenelle had been living in hers.

DON”T drive your abusive boyfriend to jail
I just had no idea what was going on with Jenelle and Keiffer in this episode. Was she really the only one who could have given him a ride? And his entire side of the conversation was incredibly emotionally manipulative, telling her he doesn’t deserve to be in jail in one breath and that he loves her in another. He played the wounded victim who’ll be there waiting for her no matter how she wrongs him, when he was the one who assaulted her.

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Video: North Koreans Stage Mass Weeping Contest At Kim Jong Il’s Funeral

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 08:27 AM PST

Lest they be cited for insufficient sadness and disappeared, the people of North Korea staged a huge contest to see who could fake cry the loudest at Kim Jong Il‘s funeral today. According to an official newscast, even the sky was inconsolable:

“The snow is endlessly falling like tears,” said one soldier on state television. “How could the sky not cry when we’ve lost our general who was a great man from the sky?”

Because all those sky tears block out the giant picture car in the above video, here’s a better look:

Decent turnout, don’t you think?

And here’s a photo of his son and successor, Kim Jong-un:

Good luck?

(Via The Telegraph UK)

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Will Smith’s Former Co-Star Hates His Guts

Posted: 27 Dec 2011 02:55 PM PST

I’ll admit, Will Smith can get a little irksome. He claimed the next thousand years for himself. He produced a remake of The Karate Kid without Mr. Miyagi. But one Smith project I never get sick of is The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

No matter how many neon over-sized T-shirts he wore, or laugh-shrieks he emitted, I’m on-board. His former co-star Janet Hubert aka Aunt Viv number one, isn’t such a fan of 90s Will.

After some Fresh-Prince reunion pictures were posted online this week fans began to wonder why Janet hadn’t shown up for the photo-opt, and today she explained, “There will never be a reunion … as I will never do anything with an a**hole like Will Smith.” Harsh.

She went on to accuse Will of being responsible for her getting booted off the show after season three. I guess we’ll never know exactly what happened on set, and Will did defend himself against her accusations before, insisting, “[Hubert] said once, ‘I’ve been in the business for 10 years and this snotty-nosed punk comes along and gets a show.’ No matter what, to her I’m just the AntiChrist.”

Maybe Uncle Phil can step in and get them to call a truce?

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A Collection of Ungrateful Christmas Tweets Might Make You Lose Faith in Humanity

Posted: 28 Dec 2011 08:16 AM PST

Christmas is a time to get together with family and show them you care. Unless they got you the wrong color iphone.Then it’s time to knock them out with a ceramic reindeer.

Jon Hendren of Somethingawful.com (twitter handle @fart) wadded through some of the more ungrateful Christmas tweets and re-tweeted the most depressing. The resounding sentiment-if I didn’t get the right Apple product, I hate everyone involved, including Santa. These people hate Santa.

Some of these 140 character rants include, “didn’t get my car so im not feeling Christmas -.-,” and “After opening the presents I should have saved the $ I spent to get down here and bought myself an iPad since I didn’t get one. Wtf family!”

I think most people can relate to dreaming of a particular present under the tree and feeling a little miffed when it’s not there. But chances are you caught at least one UNICEF commercial during the holiday season, and after the moment of disappointment you realize how lucky you are for your warm house and your family.

So I’m going to assume the offenders @fart collected are just really fast typists, and almost as soon as the tweets went up they realized they didn’t really need a car, and went out to volunteer at a soup kitchen.

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