Friday, December 30, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

The Daily WTF: Harry Potter Toilet Paper

Posted: 30 Dec 2011 09:47 AM PST

Ever wanted to wipe your bum with Daniel Radcliffe‘s friendly, bespectacled face? Today’s your lucky day!

If you live in Thailand, that is. A Harry Potter branded toilet paper featuring Radcliffe’s face has just come on the market there, and the dude is understandably unnerved. “I have heard my face is on toilet paper, which is really not pleasant,” he told The Sun. “But I haven’t seen it and I don’t know if that is much of a compliment.”

Actually, in Thai culture, having your face printed on toilet paper is the highest honor, signifying intelligence and hard work. Just kidding, I have no idea what it means, but I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of “they think people will pay extra for things if they say Harry Potter on them. Any and all things.” For Radcliffe’s sake, I hope it doesn’t catch on. Then again, he’s become a millionaire due in part to products like this, so maybe he shouldn’t complain.

(Via The Sun)

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Gwyneth Paltrow Has Some Hangover Prevention Tips For You

Posted: 30 Dec 2011 08:59 AM PST

Gwyneth Paltrow knows you’re going to be partying on New Year’s Eve, so Gwyneth Paltrow has some hangover mitigation tips for you. Some of them are wildly expensive!

According to today’s GOOP newsletter, here are some of the ways you can prevent and/or cure your first massive hangover of 2012:

-Buy angel investor Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Mercy elixir” and mix a cocktail with it. Nothing prevents a hangover like drinking alcohol.

-Go to a your local full-service spa for some serious hydrotherapy. Gwyneth prefers the traditional Turkish Hamman, but even a “low-key Japanese spa” will do. Place your body in various hot saunas and cold baths. Purchase a full-body scrub. Purchase a massage. Then, skip dinner because you spent all your money.

-Eat one or two Umeboshi plums. (Note: they have the uber-pickled snack at my local natural food market, but a tiny package costs $20 so I have never purchased it.)

-Buy other products created by Gwyneth’s homeopathic expert friends.

-Drink Bloody Marys. Now we’re talking! She doesn’t call them Bloody Marys, but whatever. This is probably the worst advice of all, but the only one that’s not totally obnoxious and/or obvious, so props.

In conclusion: you are going to have a hangover no matter what bullshit hangover cure you ingest. Take comfort in the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow probably has one, too.

(Via GOOP)

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Russell Brand Keeps Going Out Without His Wedding Ring

Posted: 30 Dec 2011 08:09 AM PST

There are so many reasons comedian and Katy Perry’s husband Russell Brand could be walking the streets of London without his wedding band. His fingers are swollen. He knocked the ring behind his dresser and doesn’t feel like sticking his hand back there. He saw that Adam Sandler movie where he uses a fake wedding ring to pick up woman, and decided masquerading as a single guy was the best way to fend off advances.

But the photos of his ring-less finger coupled with news he and Katy spent the holidays on separate continents have people whispering a divorce might be on the horizon. I personally hope the two of them work things out, but if they do decide to end their marriage, now would be a pretty good time. On the heels of Sinead O’Connor’s 16 day union and with 2011 recap lists reminding everyone of Kim Kardashian’s 72 days of wedded bliss, people are bound to look at Katy and Russell’s marriage, which has already lasted for more than a year and think, well they really tried.

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Rihanna and Chris Brown Might Be Expressing Their Love Through Twitter, Improperly

Posted: 30 Dec 2011 07:41 AM PST

As all Twitter users know, the proper way to call and answer through tweets is direct them @ the recipient. So Chris Brown’s tweet, “Love U more than you know,” must be directed at his six million plus followers. And Rihanna’s tweet posted not long after, “”I’ll always love u #1LOVE,” has to also be coincidental and generic. Or is it?

Let’s look at the facts. Rihanna and Chris follow each other on Twitter, which we all know is the first step to rekindling a love affair. Rihanna has flouted the laws of Twitter communication before by apparently talking with Chris’ mother without the use of @.

So obviously, we are witnessing the beginning of their official social media courtship. Next, tiny black hearts exchanged on Facebook and heart-hand photos swapped on DailyBooth.

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Michael Pitt, What Are You Wearing?

Posted: 29 Dec 2011 01:32 PM PST

Memorandum
To: All Prada Employees
From: Mr. Prada

This memo is to inform all employees that we have chosen Michael Pitt as new face of our Spring/Summer 2012 Menswear campaign. I know this seems like an odd choice — selecting a man who’s wardrobe is comprised of old t-shirts stolen at dinner parties from wicker baskets in the basement marked “rags” and Salvation Army boots that have been resoled eight times, at 500% cost — but we actually have a highly thought-out strategy here. You see, we figure if our garments can make Michael Pitt look good, then they can make anyone look good.

If our blazers can make Michael Pitt look sharp, then they will make the janitor who cleans your office toilet look like a prince. If our scarves can make Michael Pitt appear to be someone you can introduce to your grandmother without fear she’d contract Hepatitis, then they’ll make the fellow who cleans the garbage from the subway station seem as if he’s a king. And if you’re already a king? Well then our garments will make you look like nothing short of God himself.

So this is why we have chosen Michael Pitt as our model and we hope you’ll endorse this decision.

Oh, and P.S. – if you see Michael wandering the halls, offer him a shoeshine, will you? He’s already tracked dog droppings on two of our carpets and we can’t afford to keep tearing those things up.

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Video: Zooey Deschanel And Joseph Gordon-Levitt Do Some Video Chat Karaoke

Posted: 29 Dec 2011 12:47 PM PST

Are you ready for the most precious New Year’s Eve ever? If you’re not, then go ahead and watch this video of Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt singing and strumming a rendition of “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?”. In the text accompanying the video, Zooey explains her long history of friendship with Joe:

“I have known Joe Gordon-Levitt for going on 12 years. We first met in the summer of 2000 while doing a tiny movie called Manic, where we bonded over a mutual appreciation for Harry Nilsson and Nina Simone and I have been lucky enough to call him one of my dearest friends ever since. When we did 500 Days of Summer 8 years later, we spent every lunch hour dancing to Marvin Gaye in the hair and make up trailer; we had loads of fun.”

Why didn’t anyone make a behind-the-scenes documentary about 500 Days of Summer? It would have sold a billion copies amongst the professional Etsy-workers set.

(via Hello Giggles)

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Hot Shot: Barefoot Ryan Gosling Is A Mixed Martial Artist

Posted: 29 Dec 2011 12:14 PM PST

Ryan Gosling will put you in a headlock and then he’ll kiss you! He’ll put you in a choke hold and then he’ll hug you! He’ll flip you over on your back and tell you he loves you, for Ryan Gosling is a student of mixed martial arts. Hey girl, hey.

Ryan was snapped leaving an MMA class in Hollywood yesterday, where he was apparently too impatient to put his shoes on indoors. Maybe this is just another way for a Los Angeles resident to brag about the beautiful weather. No wintry mix martial arts in Southern California!

(via Just Jared)

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The Daily WTF: Horrifying Marzipan Pig

Posted: 29 Dec 2011 12:05 PM PST

How do you banish a marzipan pig from existence? I guess you have to eat it, but the thought of putting this horrifying creature in my mouth is very unsettling. This thing is the devil, I tell you, the devil disguised as a sugary treat.

The creator of this monstrosity, a man named Jonas Laberg, initially created it as a Christmas present for his two young daughters, but scratched that plan after, as he said, it “"turned out a bit too evil-demon-pig-from-hell-y for that."

Evil demon pig from hell indeed.

(via The Daily What)

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