Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling Cares About Animal Cruelty

Posted: 20 Dec 2011 10:55 AM PST

Our favorite Internet boyfriend Ryan Gosling has joined together with several other celebrities (Alicia Silverstone, Zooey Deschanel, Steve-O?!) to sign a letter from Mercy For Animals urging McDonalds to stop buying eggs from chickens raised in horrible factory farm conditions, specifically: battery cages. For those not in the know, the life of a battery hen is one of the worst in animal agriculture, and California, Michigan, and the entire European union have already banned the practice.

The letter begins with a jaunty “I’m hatin’ it” and goes on to detail which practices Ryan Gosling objects to:

While McDonald's has already established a 100% cage-free purchasing policy in Europe, your U.S. restaurants continue to support egg factory farms that confine hens for most of their lives in cages so small they can't even spread their wings or do nearly anything that comes naturally to them. Common sense tells us that animals with legs and wings should be given the basic freedom to move.

…

In MFA's investigative video, McDonald's egg suppliers are shown burning off the beaks of baby birds without painkillers, chicks are shown trapped and mangled in cage wire suffering from untreated wounds, live chicks are slowly suffocated in trash bags, and dead and rotting corpses are left in cages with hens still laying eggs for McDonald's Egg McMuffins.

As a vegan, I feel obligated to note that some of these practices go on at cage free farms, too (de-beaking sans anesthesia, culling of all male chicks), and, unless they live on an unprofitable farm run by vegetarians, all egg hens are ultimately destined for slaughter. But cage free farms are still a big improvement over how McDonalds’ suppliers currently treat their birds, and as such, worth supporting. You can go here to sign a similar petition yourself.

(Via Change.org)

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The Daily WTF: The Widest Necks Of The NFL

Posted: 20 Dec 2011 10:37 AM PST

Slate’s got a gallery up of the NFL players who have the widest necks in the game, and it’s pretty outrageous. The man above is Paul Posluszny. He is a linebacker for the Jacksonville Jaguars and his neck is wider than his face.

This fellow is Takeo Spikes and he plays linebacker for the San Diego Chargers. His neck is huge and his name is awesome.


David Diehl, offensive lineman for the New York Giants, I wish to hug you and your smiley neck.

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Britney Spears’ 55-Hour Ex-Husband Jason Alexander Is Bitter About Her Engagement

Posted: 20 Dec 2011 10:21 AM PST

Britney Spears is engaged to her former manager Jason Trawick, and the only person who might be allowed to have misgivings — her ex Kevin Federline – is “totally happy” for her. Instead, the complaining is coming from another Jason—Jason Alexander, the childhood friend she wed for less than three days back in 2004.

Yes, despite their 55-hour Vegas marriage that was a joke taken too far, Jason is telling Us Weekly, “I think it’s fake and people are afraid to say it.” He cites the fact that Jason was Britney’s manager, though her father Jamie Spears is currently her conservator:

If you look at all the pictures between them there is no connection. They look like they are going through the motions.  It seems like a answer to the court thing. Sort of a nice way to sew it all up she marries her handler. That way she always has someone controlling her. It’s sort of sad.

“I know everyone wants me to be happy about this, but I’m not,” he adds. No, Jason, we honestly forget who you are until you release fame-whorey sound bites like this.

Considering that this photo of him at a Beverly Hills store opening from 2006 exists, Jason has nothing to bitch and moan about:

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Rihanna Left The Stage To Throw Up During A Concert In Lisbon

Posted: 20 Dec 2011 10:04 AM PST

Citing digestive problems, Rihanna was forced to run off stage an throw up her dinner midway through a concert in Lisbon. She bailed near the end of “What’s My Name?” and left backup singers to take over while she headed backstage to do her business out of view of the audience. After the show, she tweeted about the incident in response to a fan:

“yep! i ran off stage to throw up, halfway thru Whats My Name…made it back juuuust in time for RudeBoy”

This news would be less concerning if the pop star hadn’t recently been placed on a 24-hour health watch after she suffered a breakdown backstage prior to a show in Dublin. Rihanna has been touring non-stop as of late, and she was forced to cancel a performance in November because she came down with the flu. the singer has stated that she’s been considering taking a year off to recover once her current tour’s complete.

Someone in the audience took video of Rihanna running of stage (it happens around 1:50). She looks pretty sick beforehand, so maybe don’t watch it if you’re eating lunch:

(via Huffington Post)

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Kendall Jenner Photographed Dancing Around A Stripper Pole

Posted: 20 Dec 2011 09:53 AM PST

Despite seeming somewhat nice and normal on her Sweet 16 special, Kim Kardashian‘s half-sister Kendall Jenner appears to be growing into her fameball role increasingly well. A set of pictures of Kendall (and friends) dancing around a stripper pole in what is basically underwear have been making the rounds today, and I want to throw a blanket over all of them and send them home to bed.

This one is even worse because it’s so humpy. Stop that right now, young lady.

Does it make it better that it looks like this is a class or rehearsal of some sort? I would argue that it makes it worse, because we know their parents drove them there and signed some sort of consent form. Stripping is for grown-ups.Why does this even need to be said?

The comments on the Mediatakeout post provide further evidence these photos should not be on the Internet. One commenter calls Kendall “a cutie with a booty” and another calls her “a ho in the making.” Does momager Kris Jenner really want to expose her 16-year-old daughter to this kind of anonymous leering?

This gets less surprising when you recall that it’s not the first time Kendall has played around on a stripper pole; there’s been one in her house since she was little. On a 2007 episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kendall (then 11) and her sister Kylie (then 9) danced around and imitated “Girls Gone Wild” while their brother’s manager filmed them so he could put it on Youtube.

Someone send this kid to boarding school in Connecticut while there’s still time.

(Via Mediatakeout)

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Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes Star In Funny Or Die’s ‘Drunk History Christmas’

Posted: 20 Dec 2011 09:35 AM PST

Here’s a holiday treat from Funny Or Die: Not only do we get a new Drunk History, but it’s Christmas-themed and stars Ryan Gosling! Ryan and new girlfriend Eva Mendes dress up to recreate the famous poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas”… except told by a drunk guy in a Santa hat who keeps losing his place.

Poor Allan McLeod doesn’t seem to understand how the Drunk History videos go; he keeps apologizing for forgetting lines or repeating himself, when that’s exactly what makes the reenactments so funny. How else would we have the genius of “Aaron Burr says, ‘Hey you’re giving me shit, we gotta duel’”?

Ryan is just adorable as the hapless father who awakens — in his sleeping cap — and encounters Santa in the living room. I feel like a lost of the Drunk History storytellers like to include fights, so I’m surprised that Allan didn’t try to get Ryan to face off against Santa.

And yes, that’s Jim Carrey as jolly, jelly Old St. Nick, a welcome change from his creepy performance as the Grinch however many years ago.

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