Thursday, December 15, 2011

Crushable

Crushable

Work Of Art‘s Michelle Matson Reviews Last Night’s Episode: Hasty Decisions

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 11:37 AM PST

As this season of Bravo’s Work Of Art nears its conclusion, Crushable has been talking with contestant Michelle Matson about how the show is shaping up.

Michelle excited the show a few weeks ago, but she has plenty of opinions about how the finale is shaping up. This week, the judges picked the final three contestants who will be creating a show for the Brooklyn Museum. Unlike the judges, Michelle did not care for fellow competitor Kymia’s art this week. And she thinks the judges made some unfortunate and quick decisions with their final choices. (And actually, so does Jerry Saltz.)

There have been a lot of tears this season. Why so much crying?
I think it’s a really stressful situation, being in that environment. Picture your worst/best most stressful day ever, now picture it happening day after day after day… It feels like you’re on a roller coaster. People love your work, people hate your work, people you respect say terrible things about you (to your face), people constantly criticize you, you win tons of money, you lose tons of money, you’re away from your support system, away from your loved ones, you have no control over your environment and cameras are following you everywhere.

Everyone has stress-induced freak outs in private, it’s just that there is no privacy in that sort of situation, so the crying is public- along with everything else.

They showed a lot of Kymia’s reactions during Lola’s defense of her work. Is there a lot of tension between those two?
There was some tension- all the footage is real. I think Kymia felt ruffled by Lola.

Also, it seems like everyone universally liked Kymia’s portrait. Did you?
I absolutely DO NOT agree.  Richard said that Kymia’s portrait made him want to throw up inside, and then she was voted as the winner?  What happened in between?!? I didn’t like that portrait. I agree with Richard’s quip [ed note: He originally said it made him want to barf], Kymia’s piece was like a bad G-rated knockoff of Robert Crumb.  Barf.

That portrait the Cold Spring artists Terence Donovan made in 20 minutes was pretty awesome. Do you agree with the judges that it was better than the piece of art Young created around it?
Young is a gifted artist and a quick & innovative thinker- watching him going through the bed & breakfast tour was excruciating!! I thought he was going to be axed for sure! I think Young has played this show very well- I don’t love all of his pieces, but I’ve always thought he would be making it into the finale. I think that exhibiting Terence Donovan’s piece alone would have been very daring and ballsy.

I would have loved it, but I’m not sure that the judges would have actually liked it (though they claim they would) they didn’t like Lola’s conceptually strong portrait, so why would they like Young’s conceptually strong portrait? Oh, because it’s a “portrait-y portrait”… well maybe. Young played it safe by including the photos, and I think that it guaranteed him a spot in the finale. Good for him.

Do you think the final three artists have grown (more than other contestants)?
Not necessarily. I think Kymia made one of the most conventional portraits that one could make. Maybe Terence Donovan should have made it to the final three.

Do you think Lola got robbed this episode?
Yes. Totally. I wish Lola could have made it to the final three, if she’d had three months to develop her work I think it would have been staggeringly impressive. We were all robbed, swindled and bamboozled by this unfortunate turn of events. We are all losing out as viewers- watching Lola complete a full body of work would have been wonderful. Now we’ll just have to go see her work in a gallery instead. Eh. I guess that’s not too shabby.

Anything that you really disagreed with from last night?
Well, obviously I didn’t like that Lola was sent home. She is a smart, witty, thoughtful artist. I don't know if this came across on the show, but she is a smart, witty, thoughtful artist I feel like the final three artists make good work, but also they make safer work- in my opinion the judges might have made some hasty decisions.

On to the Brooklyn Museum next week!

(Photo: Lola, Bravo)

 

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Kickstarter Employee Writes Epic Missed Connection For Leighton Meester

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 11:26 AM PST

A lovesick start-up employee posted a missed connection on Craigslist yesterday that describes in great detail the life he wishes to have with Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester. It’s the kind of semi-jokey proposal that you get the sense is secretly dead serious. See if you agree.

The text is as follows:

You are the beautiful brunette star of the popular CW series, “Gossip Girl.” I just got a poor haircut and work at an internet startup. Our lives intersected this morning on Rivington Street, as you prepared to act out a scene in front of ABC No Rio. Cameramen, handlers, producers, directors and also that one blonde-haired girl who is your fellow actor surrounded you, yet in the midst of all of that, you and I had time for a moment that I will never forget.

I was staring at you from a soot-covered window. To my surprise, you looked up at me and our eyes locked. I was terrified but instantly lovestruck. I stood my ground and waved to you. You waved back! For a moment, I saw the woman behind the character, not an entitled rich girl who hides her insecurities from the world, but a lovely, intelligent actress who has found so much success in life and manages to retain what made her so amazing in the first place.

I would have called out but that window hasn’t been replaced in decades, possibly more than ten and I can’t open it. I even tried after you left!

Here’s why I’m writing this letter: we’re missing out on a lifetime of memories.

The first date, after you first read the words I’m writing and think to yourself, “It’s adorable how slightly pathetic but earnest and cute this guy is. I’ve just dated one too many jerks from Hollywood, and this guy is just super earnest and romantic.” You give me your number and I nervously call you for the first time. My voice is shaky, and the call is dropped halfway through our banter. I ask you out on a date to a Mamoun’s Falafel. You think it’s charming how unfamiliar I am with the world of celebrity dating, and I find your down-to-earth personality and stunning beauty irresistible.

Our first kiss, after I mistake overgrown weeds on the wall by the school on Essex Street for a sprig of Mistletoe. The next week, I enter the whirlwind of your life, one day on the French Riviera, the next herding back paparazzi, and later, taking a backseat to let your inner radiance shine in front of the cameras because I know that nothing can come between us.

In the years that pass, our love deepens and we become more comfortable, watching each new episode of Gossip Girl with all of its labyrinthine twists and turns over a bowl of artisanal popcorn. As usual, Monday TV nights are a hallowed tradition spent at home, but we never fail to keep the relationship exciting. As you live out the life of the heiress of a fashion icon onscreen, your real life becomes more fulfilling and meaningful in ways that neither of us imagined.

We have children, they have children, and the show continues (Season 56, in which Lonely Boy becomes an emeritus professor of literature, and you reveal a decades-long affair with Jenny’s illegitimate son Walter is particularly engrossing). Yet your costars never quite manage to find what we have, and while they are happy for you, they are also sad that life didn’t have this in store for them.

I grow old, and begin wearing my trousers rolled (just kidding, I work on the LES, been doing that for yeears). We start an artist’s colony for actors and musicians (I’m a composer in my spare time, one of the things that initially endeared you to me), and live out the rest of our years happily until old age gives way to eternity, and time reclaims our bodies.

What are you doing tomorrow night? I thought you’d say that. What about Saturday night? Listen, my schedule is probably a bit more open than yours, so you tell me what works for you.

Send me a picture so I can be sure that it’s you.

xoxo,
Boy, Not-So-Lonely Anymore

My favorite parts are the part where he sort of disses Blake Lively to prove he only has eyes for Leighton, the part where he thinks Leighton will pick up on a reference to T.S Eliot, and the part where he thinks Dan Humphrey could hack it as a professor. Also, the part where he thinks that Mamoun’s has good falafel. Okay, my favorite part is all of it. He’s obviously mostly joking, but doesn’t it seem like he’s kind of leaving the door open just in case Leighton Meester might want to take him up on his offer? A truly satirical piece would be meaner (either to himself, or her) and funnier.

The Village Voice claims to know for a fact that the guy works at Kickstarter. Doesn’t he know you have to be in the armed forces or afflicted with cancer in order to publicly embarrass a celebrity into going on a date with you?

Then again, I can certainly see the appeal of holding out for a relationship with Leighton Meester, if only to get to say “hello, Mr. Meester!” when you meet her dad.

(Via Runnin’ Scared)

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The Daily WTF: Robber Accidentally Butt-Dials 911

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 11:11 AM PST

There’s a little bit of comedy in every single butt-dial, but few have the irony factor of this one: Two Madison, Wisconsin men accidentally dialed 911 on the way home from robbing a Target, leading to their quick-and-easy arrest. Jason S. Hamielec and Brian A. Johnson lifted a bunch of video games and DVDs from the store, then discussed their plans to sell of the wares on their drive home — and the cops were on the line the whole time.

Hilariously, the dudes rattled on for nearly an hour, stated where they were headed and even mentioned a description of the car they were driving, a blue Dodge Durango with plates on (to divert suspicion). Naturally, then the men arrived at their destination, the cops were waiting for them and an arrest swiftly followed.

Dumber and Dumber were naturally quite confused to see the police, until one of them looked down and noticed the pocket-dialed phone that was still making a call. Hilarious.

(via The Daily What)

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Rooney Mara Calls Her Law & Order: SVU Episode ‘Awful’ And ‘Stupid’

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 10:50 AM PST

Way to bite the hand that feeds you, Rooney Mara.

Even though the actress is now famous thanks to the opening scene of The Social Network and her starring role in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, way back when she was just like any other struggling actor: Playing a rape victim or murder suspect on Law & Order: SVU.

In their profile of her, Allure (via ONTD) went back through her various fashion disasters as well as bit parts in shows like SVU and A Nightmare on Elm Street. But someone doesn’t look favorably on one of the most beloved guilty-pleasure crime dramas for her generation:

It was so awful. So stupid. People are obsessed with that show. I don’t get it. Me and my boyfriend—although I don’t look old enough to have a boyfriend—went and beat up these fat people, and at the end of the show you find out that I used to be obese and I hate fat people. It’s ridiculous. Who would ever do that? Who would beat someone up because they’re fat? And as retribution, they sodomized her. I mean, I’ve been sodomized since the beginning of my career. I should have known then it would come full circle.

First off, this episode (“Fat,” from season 7) sounds like it was awesome. There’s a severed finger, teenagers going undercover as “bad” kids, and the shocker of Rooney’s character Jessica being fat. And secondly, Rooney’s older sister Kate Mara also muddled through bit roles in procedurals — including SVU! — before getting bigger roles in Everwood and Nip/Tuck, and you don’t see her complaining.

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Howard Stern Joins The Cast Of America’s Got Talent

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 10:20 AM PST

Does anyone watch America’s Got Talent? Of all the singing and dancing reality competition shows, it’s always seemed like the least interesting. But the series has added shock jock Howard Stern to its lineup of judges, so maybe things will take a turn for the fascinating.

Howard will joins hosts Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel for the next season of the NBC show. Unlike series like The X Factor and American Idol that focus entirely on music, America’s Got Talent is broader in scope, allowing musicians and comedians to show off their skills. Still, Howard seems like an odd choice — unless, of course, the next season of AGT will include wet t-shirt contests.

No air date has been set for the 7th season premiere, but we’re sure Howard will bellow it all across the airwaves once one is announced.

(via)

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Rob Kardashian Launching Sock Line, Claims Not To Care About The Kardashian Brand

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 10:04 AM PST

Rob Kardashian, who is famous primarily for hanging out in the background of all the shots in Keeping Up With The Kardashians eating chips (with occasional breaks to call his sister a whore), wants you to know that he cares not for the Kardashian brand.

In a recent interview with HuffPo about the exciting line of dress socks he is working on, Rob had this to say:

“I don’t care about the Kardashian brand at all,” he admitted. “This is something I have been wanting to do. I don't care for it to be a ‘Kardashian’ thing. I haven’t made a final decision with the name, but I have no intention of doing something in front of the camera for monetary gain.”

I suppose whichever label is currently pouring resources into designing socks for him chose Rob not for his name, but for his superior understanding of what separates a good sock from a great sock.

This would be easier to swallow if the confident, independent young sock salesman had not already signed on to live with his sister Khloe and her husband Lamar Odom in Dallas during the new season of Khloe and Lamar. (Secret subtitle: And Khloe’s Kreepy Brother, Who Lives With Them Even Though He’s 24.) “I want to experience Dallas. It’s a new city where I see new business opportunities,” he told HuffPo. It’s true! I’ve been there, and people’s socks are light years behind the flashy, innovative socks of LA.

For yet more evidence that Rob doesn’t want to capitalize off being a Kardashian, go back and read this exclusive story we got on him. Welp, I’m convinced.

(Via HuffPo)

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Crushable Exclusive: Unlock A Piece Of The Hunger Games Puzzle To Discover The Newest Poster

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 09:52 AM PST

Can you believe that we’re only 100 days away from Lionsgate‘s The Hunger Games? Yep, March 23, 2012 is coming up on us fast, so the studio has decided to release another poster. But instead of just post it online, they’ve launched the #HungerGames100 Poster Puzzle Hunt. One hundred fansites have 100 different puzzle pieces, and it’s up to you to track them down and put the puzzle together.

We’ve got piece #75/100, and it’s pretty snazzy, if we do say so ourselves.

Make sure to download the official PDF puzzle piece so you can put it all together. How do you win?

  • Search the #HungerGames100 hashtag on Twitter
  • Collect all 100 pieces and solve the actual puzzle
  • Upload the photo of your completed poster to Facebook and @tag The Official Hunger Games Movie page (you gotta like ‘em first)

The hunt begins now, so good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor!

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Gallery: Everyone Dressed The Part For The New York Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Premiere

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 09:21 AM PST

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo held its New York premiere last night, and it looks like attendees used it as an opportunity to wear their most Stieg Larsson-approved attire. Or maybe this is just viral marketing for the Dragon Tat H&M line. Check out the looks from Rooney Mara, Daniel Craig et al.

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The 5 Funniest Kardashian And Pippa Middleton Moments From Barbara Walters’ The 10 Most Fascinating People Of 2011

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 09:12 AM PST

I usually don’t watch Barbara Walters‘ end-of-the-year special The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011 because I figure that as an entertainment blogger I already know. And I was right; there were no surprises as to who she put on her list (though Derek Jeter seemed to be stretching it).

However, last night gave me reason enough to tune in for 2012′s list: Barbara herself, who doesn’t take this nearly as seriously as I expected. She knows that this year especially she’s sitting down with celebrities who got famous because of sex tapes or Twitpics, not because of any discernible talent.

And because it’s not a hard-hitting news report, the people profiled seem more relaxed and willing to joke around with the View co-host, leading to these funny bits.

5. Kardashians kidding themselves: Barbara doesn’t mince words; the first thing she says to the Kardashian ladies is, “You don’t have any talent.” Kim is quick to counter, “But we’re still entertaining people.” In fact, we may have touched upon Kim’s problem; she adds that people fall in love with her and her family, which is so not true. (And yet, didn’t she admit that part of the reason things didn’t work out with husband Kris Humphries is because she falls in and out of love easily?)

4. The best transition ever: Even though she first became a news sensation several years ago, Amanda Knox made Barbara’s list because of her acquittal and release this year. But possibly knowing that we wanted to go to the scandal makers of 2011, Barbara quickly moved on to the next person. However, we couldn’t help laughing at this transition: “While we’re on the subject of young women who took the world by storm…” Especially since it led to Pippa Middleton and her famous ass.

3. Katy Perry’s sexual orientation: I can’t believe that this exchange really happened, because of how deadpan it was. After chatting with Katy about her parents’ wild lives before their children’s religious upbringing — who knew her mom once dated Jimi Hendrix? — Barbara brought up Katy’s first scandalous song, “I Kissed A Girl”:

Barbara: Did you kiss a girl?

Katy: I did.

Barbara (straight-faced): Did you like it?

It was pretty similar to when she asked Lady Gaga about her sexual orientation in 2009, but so much funnier.

2. Pippa is MIA: The question wasn’t whether Pippa Middleton would make her way onto this list, but if she would actually sit down for an interview with Barbara. After all, she got access to Simon Cowell and Amanda Knox. But it was not to be: Instead we got a rehash of the Pippa craziness that started with the Royal Wedding in April, and some video of her fending off the paparazzi. But, Barbara is sure to add, “Pippa only smiles, and never speaks.”

Later, when introducing Steve Jobs as the most fascinating person of the year, Barbara concedes that they weren’t able to get an interview, even though they had him pegged as their #1 back when he retired from Apple. Usually being included on the list requires a sit-down, but “rules were made to be broken,” she rationalized briskly before moving on. As if that hadn’t just happened with Pippa.

1. Kris Jenner’s favorite: The Kardashian ladies certainly know their way around who’s who in the family. Then again, Barbara’s questions were laughably easy to figure out: The book-smart one is Kourtney, the street-smart one is Khloe, and the conceited one is Kim (by her own admission). Then Barbara asked which girl was Kris’ favorite, to which all of the sisters answered, “Kim.”

Kris demurred that she really couldn’t choose, but then Khloe added, ”Whoever gives her the most percentage rates at the moment, is her favorite.” We knew there was a reason we loved Khloe!

Here’s the entire Kardashian interview, for your viewing pleasure:

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Snooki Is Tweeting Pics Of Herself In Bikinis (Plus A Spirit Hood!)

Posted: 15 Dec 2011 08:41 AM PST

How do you get the pint sized Jersey Shore star to tweet you a photo of her increasingly slim bikini bod? Send her that which she desires most: a purple, metallic, leopard print, cut out swimsuit. She will tweet her thanks, and she might even make it her new profile picture.

“Thank you @jvalentineinc LOVED it! #MEOW” she tweeted last night in response to a designer who sent her a “swim” suit. She also wore a spirit hood, because she is a sexy kitty cat.

Then there was this weirdly blurry one sent in thanks to @suholmesmckagan:

Why is the butt pointy? Anyway, it appears all of Snooki‘s “gym”-ing has paid off, as she looks significantly closer to the “orange tits on a stick” beauty ideal her people hold in such high regard. Good job, girlfriend.

(Via @Snooki)

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