Best Week Ever |
- The Ducktales Theme Is Even Happier In Hindi
- Darren Aronofsky’s Lost Masterpiece: The Deli Manager
- Man Runs Into Starbucks, Makes It Rain, Leaves
- A Few Words On The Extent To Which Chris Brown Is A Complete F*ck
- WARNING: Watching This Footage Of Knut Dying Will Kill You Inside
- “Cat-ertainment” Takes Cat Videos To A Whole New Meow-vel
- World’s Fattest Woman Also Wears World’s Most Crooked Glasses
- The Kevin Bacon Game, But Harder And With Photos
- 20 Photos Of Sammy Hagar Communicating With Aliens
- Yeah, Boyeee! THAT’S How You Recover A NASA Shuttle Rocket Booster!
| The Ducktales Theme Is Even Happier In Hindi Posted: 23 Mar 2011 09:12 AM PDT EgoTV Online compiled an excellent list of 10 Cartoon Theme Songs In Foreign Languages, combining the internet’s nonstop love affair with easy nostalgia with the internet’s love of slightly different versions of easy nostalgic things. Because we’re all gathered here for precisely this reason, here’s the Ducktales theme in Hindi. This singer sounds so genuinely excited about these duck-related tales, it really makes me wanna watch this cartoon right now, or at least order some Indian food: Check out the rest of the list here. After the jump, my favorite of the bunch, a mind-blowing German rendition of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show (along with the original video which still looks ridiculous enough unaltered):
(EgoTV via Gorillamask) |
| Darren Aronofsky’s Lost Masterpiece: The Deli Manager Posted: 23 Mar 2011 07:33 AM PDT In this unusually candid interview, director Darren Aronofsky and comedian Todd Barry reveal that Black Swan actually began as a full feature film devoted to Barry’s smart-assed manager character from The Wrestler, featuring Natalie Portman in a minor role as one of his deli employees. As production went on, for reasons untold, Barry’s role kept shrinking and Portman’s kept growing and before long, The Deli Manager became Black Swan as we know it, to the chagrin of Deli Manager enthusiasts Tinseltown-wide. Here, for the first time ever, Aronofsky and Todd Barry discuss the lost film The Deli Manager and reveal some never-before-seen clips of the one film that could’ve taken down The King’s Speech at the Oscars, at least in terms of Deli Manager having: |
| Man Runs Into Starbucks, Makes It Rain, Leaves Posted: 22 Mar 2011 02:31 PM PDT A man reportedly ran into a Boston-area Starbucks, kept yelling “I’m rich! I’m rich!”, threw $100 worth of one-dollar bills into the air in front of unsuspecting customers, then calmly exited and left the money on the floor behind him. And for the record, this was not, as Noah G. suggested, “just what Starbucks costs now.” Here’s a video of the baffled customers retelling the story and noting that no one actually ever picked up the money, which the store is now donating to Japan relief efforts (a true win-win-I’m rich! story): Based on the eyewitness accounts, police sketch artists believe the man in question looks something like this:
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| A Few Words On The Extent To Which Chris Brown Is A Complete F*ck Posted: 22 Mar 2011 01:51 PM PDT Chris Brown appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America today. After an interview in which he was questioned about the now two year old Rihanna incident, he got angry, broke a window with a chair, took off his shirt (obviously), and stormed out of the studio before his second scheduled performance.
Let us quickly comb through today’s events and examine how they highlight the extent to which Chris Brown is a complete f*ck. First of all, if you want people to stop asking questions about your violent outbursts, you probably shouldn’t respond to a question about your violent outburst with ANOTHER violent outburst.
Now, we’ll consider two things he said between questions about his violent outbursts and his ensuing violent outburst. When the first question came up about his demolishing of Rihanna’s face he had this to say: “It’s not really a big deal to me now as far as that situation. I think I’m passed that in my life.” Yeah, Chris… THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE’S ISSUE WITH YOU IS! We know it’s not a big deal to you. That’s why you’re an assh*le! Lastly, when asked about his new song, FAME, he explained that it stands for “Forgiving All My Enemies.” What is it that he is forgiving people for exactly? Is he forgiving people for being disgusted with him for pummeling a woman’s face with his hands? Because no one is asking for forgiveness for that. We’re all pretty comfortable with it it. What a f*ck.
No one wants forgivness for that either, Chris. |
| WARNING: Watching This Footage Of Knut Dying Will Kill You Inside Posted: 22 Mar 2011 01:35 PM PDT My friend Greg Johnson tweeted at me earlier with mention of footage of Knut the Polar Bear’s death. So, of course, I watched it. Knut was like a giant furry albino son to me, and I felt it my duty to take in as much information about his death as possible. So, as is my blogging duty, I watched the video. I am sorry that I did. It shows poor Knutty spinning around in circles before falling off of a rock and plunging into the water next to it. Then, stillness. Some people argue that it’s not real, but my polar bear maternal instinct is that it is. All too real. This is like every Al Gore Global Warming Terror video come to life. RIP Knut. We hope we get to hug your adorable ass in Heaven one day. |
| “Cat-ertainment” Takes Cat Videos To A Whole New Meow-vel Posted: 22 Mar 2011 01:12 PM PDT Everything Is Terrible fittingly celebrated their 1000th post today with this cat video, a segment called “Oh Those Crazy Cats” from an episode of something called “Cat-ertainment.” Just when you think you’ve seen every cat video on the informeowtion supurrhighway, here’s one that features a “Dear Tabby” segment, some “Cat Nip Tips,” 4000 years of cat history in about three seconds, the Charles Bronson of cats, and the Martin Mull of humans (Martin Mull). It is beyond ameowzing (amazing + amusing + meow): Don’t take it from me – get a second opinion from this Meowdical Purrfessional:
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| World’s Fattest Woman Also Wears World’s Most Crooked Glasses Posted: 22 Mar 2011 12:40 PM PDT
The nice thing about Donna is that she’s completely comfortable in her skin. She even found herself a man! And they’re planning on getting married at the top of a Hawaiian mountain at 6 AM. In the words of Patrice in Coming to America “Why does she always get the good ones?” The only — ooonnnlllyyy – criticism I can think to give Donna is that her glasses are crooked. If you want us to take you seriously as possibly the world’s fattest half ton woman, please roll your bed over to Lenscrafters and get yourself a pair of professional specs. Honestly this seems like a great way to live. (Vid via Eliot Glazer) |
| The Kevin Bacon Game, But Harder And With Photos Posted: 22 Mar 2011 01:56 PM PDT It’s time to play the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game using photos. It’s a bit different than the movie version. In this version, you start using a picture of Kevin Bacon with another person, and then try to link that person through other pictures back to the original. You, however, cannot use movie posters or still frames from movies. They all have to be real photos. Can we do it?! Let’s see. We’ll start with this picture of Kevin Bacon with his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, at last night’s Knicks game.
And next, John Travolta makes out with Kirk Douglas.
Then, Kirk Douglas and Ed Harris make funeral plans together.
After which Ed Harris tells Maggie Gyllenhaal about his funeral plans.
So then, Maggie Gyllenhaal tells Kevin Bacon they should put on their funeral sun glasses.
But then, Kevin Bacon just decided to skip the funeral and hang out with his wife at a basketball game.
We did it! I am very sad to report that took about an hour and 45 minutes. This is a very hard game. Try it yourself and then just give up after three minutes. Thanks, Splash News. |
| 20 Photos Of Sammy Hagar Communicating With Aliens Posted: 22 Mar 2011 11:14 AM PDT This week, Sammy Hagar claimed he was abducted by aliens decades ago and the aliens were “tapped into his brain” and knowledge was “transferred back and forth.” Before we rush to judge Mr. Hagar for this declaration — which coincidentally came out the same week as his new book tour — a quick perusal though his photo history turned up some 20 Photos Of Sammy Hagar Clearly Communicating With Aliens. Take a look and ask youself, who is TRULY the fool here? 20.
(All pics via Getty Images) |
| Yeah, Boyeee! THAT’S How You Recover A NASA Shuttle Rocket Booster! Posted: 22 Mar 2011 10:05 AM PDT Oh, snap! Motherf*ckin rocket just bobbin’ in the ocean. NASA be all like, “Tie that sh*t to a BOAT, son!” Haaaaaa! And you know what kind of D this in? H, son. HD! NASA released footage for the first time ever late last week of a rocket booster being recovered. Now, here’s some educational rap from Ghostface Killah about the cosmos. He also explains evaporation.
“Yo, the sun can never be p*ssy. He always come out. He’ll sit right there even if you pull your gun out. He can never run out. When the lights go out, it’s Japan’s turn now; the Earth has spun around. I see yellow and green, it’s a beautiful thing. The sky’s blue cause the sun hit the water like BING!” – Dr. Killah Thanks, Best of YouTube. |
Meet my new hero Donna Simpson. She’s just your average 600 pound lady in New Jersey who has made it her life goal to become the world’s fattest woman at 1,000 pounds. Believe it or not, it’s actually more difficult than it sounds… her favorite foods are chocolate and sushi (Ed. Note: FML, I also like these foods.) only Donna has to eat 70 pieces of sushi for dinner instead of the average person (which, for me, means like 25 pieces of sushi almost ok not really but close.) 
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