The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

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• The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.29.13
• Lindsay Lohan Called In Sick To Court, Is A Moron
• NOBODY LIGHT ANYTHING NEAR SELENA GOMEZ’S CAR. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
• Paul Giamatti’s The Rhino in ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Because Black Electro Wasn’t Enough
• So Hulk Hogan Tweets About How Hot Brooke’s Legs Are? Dads Do That
• Chris Brown Thinks He’s Jesus Now
• Justin Bieber’s A Fine, Upstanding Christian Boy
• Good Morning, Magdalena Frackowiak In A Bikini, And Other News

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.29.13 Posted: 29 Jan 2013 12:29 PM PST Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you not only by Kate Upton‘s, but also Kelly Brook‘s considerable uh, talents. They want you to buy things and you should, because their breasts asked nicely. And as if to completely negate those two perfect, bulging examples of capitalism in its finest moment, we’ve also Read More ...

Lindsay Lohan Called In Sick To Court, Is A Moron Posted: 29 Jan 2013 11:24 AM PST Now that she’s free of that bitch Shawn Holley who kept keeping her out of jail, Lindsay Lohan finally has a lawyer who lets her do whatever stupid shit she wants. Stupid shit like not flying back to LA for a court hearing tomorrow because she’s “sick” and then being photographed shopping all over New Read More ...

NOBODY LIGHT ANYTHING NEAR SELENA GOMEZ’S CAR. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Posted: 29 Jan 2013 10:36 AM PST Here’s Selena Gomez attempting to pump gas on Sunday, and I was going to make some stupid joke about her proving she doesn’t need a man around to do anything, but then I realized said “man” would be Justin Bieber who probably faints at the slightest whiff of manual labor. Legend has it he once Read More ...

Paul Giamatti’s The Rhino in ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Because Black Electro Wasn’t Enough Posted: 29 Jan 2013 09:28 AM PST “HOWAARRDDD!” In case you thought the sequel to The Amazing Spider-Man was going to play it cool and not cram a bunch of villains in like Spider-Man 3 did, killing the franchise (I’m kidding. Tobey Maguire’s face did that. His stupid, stupid face.), surprise! Paul Giamatti is going to be The Rhino now on top Read More ...

So Hulk Hogan Tweets About How Hot Brooke’s Legs Are? Dads Do That Posted: 29 Jan 2013 08:30 AM PST Like most dads, Hulk Hogan found himself taking a fucking sweet pic of his daughter’s smoking hot legs (above), so naturally he shared it with his half of a million Twitter followers because they’re totally going to want those puppies wrapped around their ears, too, brotha. Except it turns out even the most fervent Hulkamaniacs Read More ...

Chris Brown Thinks He’s Jesus Now Posted: 29 Jan 2013 07:38 AM PST Immediately after news broke of his fight with Frank Ocean over a parking space yesterday, Chris Brown posted one of his original paintings to Instagram with this fucking ridiculous caption: Painting the way I feel today. Focus on what matters! Because you see, folks, Chris Brown being held accountable for his actions is exactly like Read More ...

Justin Bieber’s A Fine, Upstanding Christian Boy Posted: 29 Jan 2013 06:41 AM PST Back in April, I was already convinced Justin Bieber definitely raped Mariah Yeater and completely ducked being responsible for the child that resulted from it. But just in case some of you aren’t master detectives like myself, here he is just straight groping a fan’s breasts at a Miami meet and greet this week that Read More ...

Good Morning, Magdalena Frackowiak In A Bikini, And Other News Posted: 29 Jan 2013 05:29 AM PST - Kris Jenner has her own talk show now. Stupid Mayan calendar that kept on going, razza frazza… - What the hell happened to Cameron Diaz, and why was she throwing herself at Adam Levine on SNL? - Your dress made me do things… terrible things. (Okay, that comes off a little Read More ...

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