Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.14.13

Posted: 14 May 2013 01:00 PM PDT

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ve failed in my effort to eliminate the random boobs from this thing with the above pic, but I felt you should know that Aubrey O’Day is still alive, and just barely covering her rent generator again. We’ve also got the return of Kris Humphries‘ second most Read More ...

Beyonce’s Probably Fake Pregnant Again

Posted: 14 May 2013 11:45 AM PDT

Posted by Photo Boy Like any great illusionist, Beyonce is a master of misdirection. Remember when she secretly incanted Illuminati spells instead of singing the national anthem at our Secret Muslim Dear Leader’s second inauguration? Well, now she’s pretending her doctors have ordered her to cancel shows, which she knows will jumpstart the pregnancy rumors, Read More ...

Why Does My Brain Think It’s Seeing Emma Watson’s Nipples?

Posted: 14 May 2013 11:00 AM PDT

Here’s Emma Watson arriving in France this morning where I’m either seeing right through the fabric of her dress or it’s a powerful wizard that makes me see phantom nips. I tried to ask Angelina Jolie what’s happening, but all she did was cry and use Asian children for tissues. It was crazy racist. Photos: Read More ...

James Deen Is Pissed Farrah Abraham’s Pretending He Got Her Pregnant During Their ‘Sex Tape’

Posted: 14 May 2013 09:49 AM PDT

“Dear God, it’s me, Farrah. Can butts have babies?” I was really trying to avoid this story because it was clearly nothing more than Farrah Abraham trying to cram more press into her ass like the glass dildo in her pornographic movie that was not a leaked sex tape, so to bring everyone up to Read More ...

Jaden Smith Wants To Be Emancipated

Posted: 14 May 2013 08:35 AM PDT

Jaden Smith‘s parents have bought him movie roles, leased him Kylie Jenner and let him wear clothes that any respectable parent would consider legal grounds for a 2×4 to the face. So naturally that’s not enough and now he wants to be emancipated and have his own place at 15-years-old because masturbating quietly in a Read More ...

Angelina Jolie’s Breasts (1995 – 2013)

Posted: 14 May 2013 06:16 AM PDT

In a shocking op-ed in The New York Times today, Angelina Jolie revealed she had a secret double masectomy in February. A sensitive and emotional procedure for any woman battling cancer except Angelina Jolie doesn’t have cancer, so now’s the part where it’s safe to go, “I’m sorry, what?” The truth is I carry a Read More ...

Spider-Man Vs. Paul Giamatti’s Rhino Is The Epic Comic Book Movie Battle You’ve Been Waiting For

Posted: 14 May 2013 06:10 AM PDT

And by epic I mean Rhino’s pants fall down while Spider-Man’s all like, “Tee hee diddly doo!” the dances a jig. Suck it, Avengers. Photos: Splash NewsRead More ...

Good Morning, Candice Swanepoel, And Other News

Posted: 14 May 2013 06:05 AM PDT

- Ryan Gosling got Dr. Who to shave his head. His powers know no bounds. - Hey, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are stagin’ a photo op here! - Girls have squishy parts. In case you were curious. - Bryan Singer really likes tweeting X-Men set photos. - RIP, Dr. Read More ...
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