Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly


They Finally Arrested Amanda Bynes

Posted: 23 May 2013 09:02 PM PDT

Amanda Bynes has only been walking around in public blatantly smoking weed since April 8th, so let’s give it up to the NYPD for taking just under two months to make the easiest arrest of their lives. Easy as in having probable cause, that is, because bitch went crazy on them. TMZ reports: We’re told Read More ...

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.23.13

Posted: 23 May 2013 01:00 PM PDT

Welcome to a glorious Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where I got the wonderful news that I might not be headed to the Hell I don’t believe exists. Although that caveat about being a good person might be tricky considering I have no intention of stopping this daily post. Shit. Oh well, at least I’ll Read More ...

Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch Showering In ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ To Nullify Alice Eve’s Boobs

Posted: 23 May 2013 11:55 AM PDT

Sorry to hit you with two Conan clips today, but remember when I said in the Alice Eve post about Alice Eve‘s breasts that J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof couldn’t trip over themselves fast enough to apologize for showing them in Star Trek Into Darkness? You don’t and did nothing but look at her breasts? Read More ...

It’s Anne Hathaway’s Camel Toe

Posted: 23 May 2013 11:23 AM PDT

Anne Hathaway may have won an Oscar, but nothing will ever beat the pure sexual thrill of everyone seeing her vagina. Granted, this is a thought that has never once crossed Anne’s mind, I like to pretend that’s why she slapped on yoga pants and puffed her labia out to ward off predators right in Read More ...

Alice Eve’s Breasts Are In This Post

Posted: 23 May 2013 10:06 AM PDT

While The Pope just nullified Pascal’s wager and theoretically tore a hole in the supernatural universe, unleashing all the terrifying consequences that come with that, he doesn’t have spectacular breasts so I don’t even know why I brought it up. But Alice Eve does, so here she is on Conan where she ironically talks about Read More ...

The Pope Just Said Atheists Go To Heaven

Posted: 23 May 2013 08:56 AM PDT

“Now hear me out, Cardinal Vengeance, I was only-” “You will pay for this insolence, Francis. Rosary KICK!” While Catholics have stood by as the church systematically shielded and abetted serial child molesters for decades, Pope Francis is probably going to finally face intense criticism and revolt for saying atheists make it into Heaven because Read More ...

Amanda Bynes Has A Perfectly Rational Explanation For Those Pics of Her Apartment

Posted: 23 May 2013 07:35 AM PDT

Yesterday, In Touch‘s latest issue hit newsstands and inside were photos of Amanda Bynes‘ apartment that, honestly, don’t look that bad and were way better than what I expected. For starters, I didn’t even see Drake‘s dead body anywhere. Amanda Bynes, on the other hand, felt they looked nothing like the posh, drug-free high fashion Read More ...

Ke$ha Drank Her Own Pee

Posted: 23 May 2013 06:39 AM PDT

On Tuesday’s episode of Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life, Ke$ha drank her own pee because, at heart, she’s always been a demure, proper lady of Victorian sensibilities. Unfortunately, the Parents Television Council felt differently and demanded ala carte cable subscriptions yesterday because people shouldn’t have to pay for MTV just to watch The Weather Channel. Read More ...

Good God, Irina Shayk At Cannes, And Other News

Posted: 23 May 2013 05:00 AM PDT

- “The motherfucking badass” mom who distracted the ax-wielding terrorists in London so police could move in and shoot them in the face. - Leonardo DiCaprio‘s already bailing on The Great Gatsby premieres. - Demi Moore‘s new boyfriend has beads in his dick. Uh huh. - Yesterday was Hump Day. Let Read More ...

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