Saturday, March 19, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

MARCH SADNESS ROUND 2: The Tragic Thirty-Two

Posted: 18 Mar 2011 05:48 PM PDT

Round 1 of March Sadness is complete, and with more than 50,000 votes cast and almost as many “how could you put Sad Movie X against Also Sad Movie Y you f***ing monster!!!” complaints, the March Sadness Bracket now looks like this (click to enlarge):

Schindler’s List and Bambi were the biggest winners (interesting sentence to type), running away with 87.8% and 85.8% of the vote respectively, while the tightest contests saw The Wrestler out-grapping The Iron Giant by 51.83%, Dumbo edging Edward Scissorhands by an earlobe (51.6%), and in the round’s closest match, Toy Story 3 out-innocence-losting Titanic by a tight 50.88% majority.

We waved goodbye to some not-sad-enough classics in Round 1 like Casablanca and It’s A Wonderful Life, some unbearably sad but underrepresented films like Dancer in the Dark and The House Of Sand And Fog, and some supersad films stuck in tragically unfortunate matchups like Terms of Endearment and American History X. Not a single Disney movie lost in Round 1 though — it’ll be interesting to see what happens when the Disney tear-jerkers begin to collide with the real-world semi-nonfiction ultratragedies.

It’s time to move on to Round 2 — Once again remember, the voting criteria is “Which movie is sadder,” not “Which movie is better”. Also remember that we’re voting on these specific films, not necessarily on the tragedies contained within them (only inasmuch as they inform the movies); voting against Philadelphia or Hotel Rwanda doesn’t mean you’re disregarding the real-life horrors the films represent. Were this not the case, for example, the movie Pearl Harbor would be on this list but it isn’t because no one cried at the movie Pearl Harbor, at least not for intentional reasons.

The sadness is about to get a whole lot sadder…

Voting For ROUND TWO Commences After The Jump:










Voting Will Be Open All Weekend – Feel Free To Debate In The Comments!

5 Wonder Woman Costumes More Exciting Than The New Boring Crappy Movie One

Posted: 18 Mar 2011 03:03 PM PDT

EW.com released this photo of the new Wonder Woman costume from the forthcoming (Ed Note: Forthcoming) (Better Ed Note: Actually just forthcoming) Adrianne Palicki Wonder Woman movie:

I’m not quite as outraged by the costume as some of my internettin’ friends, but I do find the costume pretty generic and boring — here’s a quick list of 5 More Exciting Wonder Woman Costumes that I found online in about 4 seconds of Googling:

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5.

15 Things That Look Like Chris Brown’s Penis

Posted: 19 Mar 2011 01:12 AM PDT

So have you guys heard? A photo of Chris Brown taking a picture of his penis in the mirror has surfaced in a big way. A big way. You can see the NSFW photo here if you want to, which you do, and you’re not even reading this anymore because you’re staring in shock at Chris Brown’s penis aren’t you? I’ll wait.

You’re back? Great. It’s pretty special, no? Like WHOA. Now, because we here at BWE.tv are a “SFW” blog, we can’t post the photo of Chris Brown’s penis uncensored. But what we can do is tell you 15 things that look a lot like Chris Brown’s penis. So open your imagination up — way up — and feel free to play along in the comments.

Here Are 10 Things That Look Like Chris Brown’s Penis



15. A Paula Deen Peppermill





14. Spudline The Spineless Hedgehog





13. Oreo Fun Stix



12. A Giant Seaworm





11. Jabba The Hut




10. A Starbuck Trenta





9. Geoduck





8. A Tootsie Roll Bank





7. A Sloth’s Arm





6. Midget Mac





5. A UFO Sighting





4. A Business Horse Listening To Music





3. A Sausage Halloween Costume





2. The Great Wall Of China





1. Oprah


(image via)

GENIUS: News Reporter Cyber Bullies Rebecca Black To Her Face

Posted: 18 Mar 2011 11:20 AM PDT

We all knew this day was coming. Friday. Friday. The day we gotta get down on. Friday. The singer of this internet sensation, Rebecca Black, has been trending all week on Twitter, outlasting the popularity of even the Japan disaster. America has been clenching its tiny fists all week in anticipation of sittin in the front seat and kickin in the back seat today, a phrase that will surely come to describe regular vs doggy style sex in the days ahead.

Capitalizing on her newfound fame, Good Morning America snagged an interview with the 13-year-old Black, and aired it this morning. Black seems to be pretty upbeat at the beginning of the segment, almost cute! And then… then things get hilarious. Good Morning America’s Andrea Canning stares this little 8th grader down while reading aloud some of the most hurtful internet comments to her, live. Following that, Rebecca delivers a live performance of “Friday” that’s, honestly, not the WORST thing we’ve ever heard, to which Canning says “Do you think you’re a good singer?”

Given the hostility of her interviewer, we have to hand it to Rebecca. She did pretty great. Sure, she’s an IRL Rachel Berry right down to those bangs, but given that it is the holiest day of the week, we’ve decided to declare a truce with Rebecca Black.

Now, please, stop trending her immediately. A Justin Bieber duet is really not going to help us at all, is it?
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